by Matt Whyman
The man tapped his temple as he said this, before standing tall again and folding his arms.
‘The Caesar salad,’ Bryce enquired hesitantly, if only to break the silence. ‘Can that come without the chilli-fried croutons? I’m not good with food that’s too spicy.’
Both Ryan and Chad looked at their friend incredulously. The man just beamed at him and then, having looked around, crouched down by the table.
‘You know, providing you guys can be trusted, we could rustle up something a little more to your taste.’
‘Meat?’ Bryce seemed surprised at himself for working this out so quickly.
The man touched a finger to his lips.
‘Let’s keep this to ourselves,’ he said, looking around. ‘Fortunately, my wife is cooking in the kitchen today, and you guys can trust her to be discreet.’
‘She’s a carnivore, too?’ Chad seemed amused by the admission. ‘I like this place a little more now.’
‘What kind of meat?’ asked Ryan.
‘Something from a blowout we were saving for ourselves, but the last thing I want is for you guys to go hungry. You made an effort to come here, but as there’s nothing on the menu that appeals, I’d love for you to taste my wife’s home cooking. She’s one of a kind.’
Chad glanced at his two friends.
‘Does that mean she’s a babe?’ he asked them quietly, only to receive a dead arm from Ryan.
‘Be nice,’ he hissed.
Just then, two cops walked through the door. The shaven-headed man nodded to them in greeting, clearly on friendly terms, and then called over to the other waitress serving the tables. The three watched with interest as one sprung forward to welcome the pair.
‘Wow,’ said Bryce, as the sprightly old lady with the apron led the first cop by the wrist to the front of the bar and offered coffees on the house. ‘What’s her secret?’
‘Priscilla eats wisely,’ said the bald guy, who paused to make eye contact with each of the boys in turn. ‘As could you.’
It was Bryce who responded first by slapping the table with the palm of his hand.
‘OK, you’ve sold it to us,’ he declared. ‘So, what have you got, big man?’
‘Ribs,’ Titus Savage told them matter-of-factly, and rose to relay the order to the kitchen. ‘What else is there in this town?’
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Acknowledgements
Writing about a family of ordinary, hard-working cannibals certainly raises eyebrows. It’s a taboo, after all – something we don’t like to discuss – which always draws an author’s interest. What I didn’t want to create, however, was a novel driven by horror and gore. Above all, what interests me is our relationship with food. To this end, serving up the trials and culinary misadventures of a modern family of people-eaters struck me as a great way to ask questions about what’s on our plates.
Contrary to popular belief, I don’t belong exclusively to Team Carnivore, Veggie or Vegan. Whatever your preference, I just believe we should all be keenly aware of what we eat and where it comes from. Ultimately, as the Savage family would be first to say, it doesn’t cost the earth to make our diets healthy, humane and sustainable. They may be a little extreme in their approach, but you can’t beat food served with love.
In cooking this book, I have a whole host of creative chefs to thank, from everyone at Hot Key Books to Philippa Milnes-Smith, Jason Chan and ILA – a team who have shown me boundless energy, passion, good humour … and taste.
About the Author
Matt Whyman is the author of several critically acclaimed novels, including The Savages and Boy Kills Man, as well as two comic memoirs, Pig in the Middle and Walking with Sausage Dogs. He is married and lives with his family in West Sussex.
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First published in Great Britain in 2014 by Hot Key Books
Northburgh House, 10 Northburgh Street, London EC1V 0AT
Copyright © Matt Whyman 2014
Cover illustration © Jason Chan 2014
The moral rights of the author have been asserted.
All rights reserved.
No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored or transmitted in any form by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying or otherwise, without the prior written permission of the publisher.
All characters in this publication are fictitious and any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.
ISBN: 978-1-4714-0070-4
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Hot Key Books is part of the Bonnier Publishing Group
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