She swallowed and wiped the dew of sweat from her brow with the back of her hand as she wondered if he was as affected as she was.
Then, as he placed his hands on her shoulders and drew her into his arms, knew that he was. But he only kissed the top of her head—and released her.
‘I think this might be a no-go zone—at this point in time, Chattie,’ he said with a glint of humour in his eyes, but a tell-tale nerve beating in his jaw.
She smiled shakily. ‘I think you could be right.’
‘Should we—adjourn to dinner, then?’
‘Definitely!’
Joan Jackson was almost as excited as if she were marrying a daughter off again.
By the time she and Chattie were ensconced in adjoining rooms at a luxury hotel the next day, she’d given Chattie and Steve her blessing. She’d told Chattie that at their first meeting she’d harboured the thought that Chattie was exactly what Steve needed. And, on Chattie venturing to say that some people might question the suddenness of it, she’d advised her that she and John Jackson had known within days of meeting that they were made for each other.
Then Chattie discovered that Joan was a mine of information on how to organize a wedding and she’d thought to bring along her diaries from the years of her daughter’s weddings. Florists, bridal boutiques, printers, cake makers, caterers prepared to go up country and likewise hairdressers, plus a whole lot more came out of Joan’s diaries.
Chattie attempted to stem the flow somewhat by telling Joan she meant to make her own dress and her own wedding cake, that she didn’t need caterers or a hairdresser, and she wasn’t planning on having bridesmaids.
Joan eventually backed down on the dress, the cake and the hairdresser, but stood quite firm on all the rest.
Until Chattie said with dawning suspicion in her eyes, ‘Has Steve been laying down the law to you?’
Joan grimaced. ‘In a way. He told me to make sure you didn’t take too much upon yourself, and to spare no expense so that it will be a lovely, memorable occasion! Now, what more could you ask from a man?’
Chattie had to smile, although a shade ruefully. What indeed? Unless you resented being manipulated?
‘And, of course, you must have your sister as a bridesmaid and I know Harriet would love to be the matron of honour.’
Three days later they flew back laden down with parcels.
Apart from her appointment with the specialist, Joan and Chattie had spent all their time together. As a shopper, Joan had proven to be intuitive with a keen eye for value and quality, and a terror when it came to laying down the law to caterers and florists, and deadlines to printers of wedding invitations.
She’d also been helpful with the winding up of Chattie’s and Bridget’s lives in Brisbane. All their belongings had been packed up to be trucked to Mount Helena; the lease on their rented cottage renegotiated to a new tenant; their car placed with a car yard for sale. And Chattie had visited her TAFE college and broken the news of her marriage and defection.
The one thing she’d stopped short of doing was contacting any of her friends. She’d run out of time but, not only that, as she dismantled her previous life and prepared for an unexpected wedding she was often attacked by disbelief. Mostly she could stifle it, sometimes not and the thought of getting in touch with friends was one of those times.
It was late afternoon as Chattie disembarked at Mount Helena and Joan stayed aboard for the last leg of the flight. ‘We done well!’ she said to Chattie as she kissed her goodbye.
‘Thanks to you!’ Chattie responded warmly. ‘I’ll let you know when the dress is ready—perhaps John will fly you over for a sneak preview?’
It was John himself who answered, ‘If I know a thing or two, Chattie, between now and the wedding, we’ll be doing a lot of buzzing backwards and forwards. Bye now!’
Merlene came to meet the plane, not Steve and Bridget as Chattie had expected, and she brought the news that they’d had a bit of drama with the muster, one of the ringers had fallen off his horse and broken some ribs, and Steve was staying with him until they could helicopter him out.
‘But he’s OK himself?’ Chattie asked.
‘Yep. And your sister’s fine, so is Rich. Glory be,’ Merlene remarked as they loaded parcel after parcel into the back of the Range Rover. ‘You leave anything back in the shops in Brissie, kid?’
Chattie laughed. ‘I’ve just spent three days with the most determined shopper I’ve ever met in my life! She claims it comes from only being let loose twice a year—I wonder if I’ll end up the same?’
‘Could do! Can’t say I go for it much myself,’ Merlene opined, but she brought a pot of tea to Chattie’s bedroom and sat down to go through all Chattie’s purchases with keen interest.
‘Where are they, by the way? Bridget and Rich?’ Chattie asked.
‘Still down at the Barlow abode—have those two ever clicked, which is a good thing for your sister in her condition! And of course you know what Brett thinks of Rich. How about we invite the Barlows up for dinner? You up to it?’
‘Of course. But will Steve and Jack—?’
‘Should be by then. I’ll give Harriet a bell.’
Left on her own in the colourful chaos of her bedroom, Chattie sank down onto the bed and suddenly experienced one of those moments of disbelief, only it turned out to be much more than a niggle.
I can’t believe this is happening to me, she thought, and suddenly felt as if she were suffocating. It’s like being on a runaway train headed towards marriage to a man who wants me but hasn’t fallen in love with me and I don’t know if I can do it…
Do what? she asked herself.
‘Stand the way I’m being railroaded into this,’ she said aloud. ‘Stand the thought of a marriage of convenience when I want to be loved. When I don’t want the dark side of Steve Kinane to come between us but I know it’s there.’
To her horror, she discovered tears rolling down her cheeks as she felt more shaky, emotional and scared than she’d ever felt in her life. And prey to a powerful instinct simply to run away.
Think of Bridget, she commanded herself. If nothing else, he has gone out of his way to make things as easy as possible for her. Hold onto that, Chattie, you must!
Steve came home just as Harriet, Bridget, Brett and Rich arrived at the homestead, and he had to wait his turn to greet her. Jack was on his way, having stopped to shower and change.
‘Remember me?’ he queried softly as he took her in his arms.
‘The man who sent me to Brisbane?’ she replied and attempted a teasing little smile. ‘I think so.’
‘What’s wrong?’ His gaze narrowed.
‘Nothing! It’s been a big three days, that’s all.’
‘Then why this bun fight?’
‘It—was Merlene’s idea. Plus—’ she groped desperately for more humour ‘—you forgot to warn me about how stiff a novice horse rider would get.’
He looked wry. ‘Bad?’
‘My legs are killing me.’
‘I know exactly how to help. A good massage works wonders.’
The thought of him massaging her thighs went straight to Chattie’s head and she turned pink and trembled in his arms.
‘That’s better,’ he murmured. ‘I thought you’d gone away from me.’
‘And if I had?’ she asked barely audibly.
‘I would not approve of that at all.’ He stared down into her eyes, and something incredibly determined glinted in his own.
But before Chattie could respond Harriet said teasingly, ‘Now, enough of that, you two love birds, there are children present!’
They broke apart as everyone laughed.
It was a cheerful meal during which the wedding preparations were discussed. Cheerful, that was, apart from Bridget, who got quieter and quieter, causing Chattie to wonder helplessly how she was going to get her sister through it all.
But it broke up fairly early, the Barlows went home and she and Bridget were doing th
e dishes when another vehicle drove up to the garden gate.
‘Who on earth could that be?’ Chattie wondered aloud as she heard Steve walk out onto the veranda.
‘I don’t know about isolated, there seem to be an awful lot of comings and goings out here,’ Bridget said ruefully and stiffened as a voice greeted Steve.
Chattie frowned and looked a question at her.
Mark! Bridget mouthed and moved convulsively.
But Chattie put a warning hand on her arm, then gestured to her sister to follow her into the passage where they could hear clearly.
‘This is a surprise, Mark!’ Steve said. ‘Where the hell have you been?’
‘Sorting out my life,’ Mark Kinane replied, ‘as you’ve so often recommended I do, big bro. Not that you’re likely to approve of what I’ve done, but will you please just listen?’
There was a pause, then Steve said dryly, ‘Go ahead.’
What came next was the sound of chairs being scraped back as the two men sat down.
Then Mark’s voice came again. ‘I’ve got a job. The one thing I really want to do is train racehorses so I applied to a Sydney trainer and he’s taken me on for six months as his assistant. A house goes with the position. You know him, Brian Matthews, he’s got a good record of training winners, and a lot that he could pass on. Then, in six months, I hope to be able to establish my own stables.’
‘What could I object to about that?’ Steve asked. ‘I think you’d make a damn fine trainer and I’d be more than happy to give you some horses.’
‘Thanks. It’s not that, though, it’s the reason behind it, the reason that made me see I had to stop drifting and do something with my life. The thing is, I’m getting married.’
Bridget froze.
‘I know you’ll say I’m too young,’ Mark continued, ‘we’re too young and all that garbage, but I know she’s the one for me and I won’t be talked out of it. I just—can’t live without her, I want a family with her and the hardest thing I’ve done lately is be away from her. But I thought I had to tell you this in person. I’m driving down to see her first thing tomorrow.’
‘Who is she?’
‘No one you know.’
‘She has a name, I presume.’
‘Bridget Winslow, and she’s the loveliest girl in the world.’
Chattie took her hand off Bridget’s arm and made a little shooing gesture. Her sister flew down the passage and out onto the veranda. Chattie followed, although more sedately, but in time to see Mark Kinane turn, look absolutely stunned, then rise in time to catch Bridget in his arms.
‘Bridge, oh, Bridge, sweetheart! What are you doing here?’
‘No one would believe me, but I knew you loved me as much as I love you, Mark, and I just knew you’d come back to me!’
‘A double wedding?’ Steve said.
Chattie was standing on the front veranda, staring out over the starlight silvered garden and paddocks. Both Mark and Bridget had just retired after a couple of hours of such joy, it had been hard not to be affected. And she had been affected, deeply affected for Bridget’s sake. However immature and impetuous they might be, you couldn’t doubt that Mark Kinane was deeply in love with her sister and she with him.
The discovery that Bridget was pregnant had drawn an awed response from Steve’s brother, and together they’d barely been able to stop themselves speculating on which occasion they’d made love that it had happened.
But it was also outside Chattie’s power to stop herself from being negatively affected, as she’d identified the difference between Bridget’s situation and her own. The difference mutual love made as opposed to physical desire and a business arrangement, in other words.
She turned at last to find Steve standing right behind her. ‘No, no double wedding. I can’t do it, Steve.’
She thought his breath rasped in his throat and she tensed visibly.
‘Why not?’ he asked grimly.
‘There is no reason for me to marry you now.’
‘No reason?’ he growled. ‘It was never only Bridget and you damn well know it, Chattie.’
‘It was Bridget—at least, she was the lever you used. Well,’ she said bitterly, ‘that lever has disappeared and what’s left? A business arrangement, practicality, how well I’m suited to Mount Helena, how good I’d be for the place and you—but have you ever once stopped to wonder how well you and Mount Helena are suited to me?’
‘If I had you in my arms,’ he taunted, ‘there would be no question of how well we suit each other.’
‘Steve, I’m going on twenty-three and a virgin,’ she said with tears slipping down her cheeks. ‘That’s fairly remarkable in this day and age, but I made a conscious decision that sex should be very special and reserved for a very special relationship: marriage. OK, I had to make some adjustments when I was desperate about Bridget, but now I don’t because “practical” and “business arrangements” don’t fall into that category.’
He was silent for an age. Silent, frowning and as watchful as a hawk. Until she took a hankie from her pocket to blow her nose, and went to turn away. Then he put a hand on her shoulder.
‘So you really don’t want to marry me, Chattie?’
‘No, Steve, I don’t. Not like this. I may have a down-to-earth side, but I’m not so firmly planted in the ground that I don’t know the difference between real joy in a man and a woman—which is what I would need—and what you’re offering me.’
‘That’s the best news I’ve heard for a while.’
Chattie’s heart started to beat like a muffled drum as all hope slipped away. Then she swallowed. ‘So, it’s all sorted,’ she said huskily. ‘I may even get back to Brisbane in time to get my job back and stop them selling my car.’
‘No, it’s not all sorted,’ he said and scanned her pale, strained face in the starlight. ‘Because I’ve been trying to kid myself that I haven’t fallen madly in love with you, Chattie, since the day we met.’
Her lips parted. ‘You…have?’
‘Yes.’ He put his fingertips lightly on her cheek, then shoved his hands in his pocket as if he was afraid to touch her again. ‘You see, I not only swore to be more practical about marriage if I did it again, but I swore never to fall in love again.’
‘She hurt you that badly?’ Chattie whispered.
‘I thought so at the time. Now I know it was nothing compared to having to watch you walk away from me. My problem was, Nadine deceived me. She didn’t want me, she wanted my money. She thought she could separate me from Helena and it drove her crazy when she couldn’t. She had affairs to make me jealous, she…’ He stopped and shrugged. ‘I guess I thought I’d become an iron man emotionally.’
‘And it didn’t help when you discovered I’d deceived you too?’ Chattie said on a breath.
‘No, it didn’t, although it probably couldn’t have been in a better cause. If the way you take care of your sister is the way you would take care of anyone you love, Chattie, I couldn’t admire you more. But, not thinking too rationally, I have to admit, it raised—I couldn’t help thinking, Here I go again! In love with a woman who wants something from me, not just me.’
‘Oh, Steve.’ Her eyes were wet again. ‘I couldn’t help wondering if it was some kind of a test.’
‘I know, crazy, wasn’t it? Insane, even, because I would have married you come hell or high water, Chattie.’ He closed his eyes briefly.
‘And been suspicious and angry underneath at the same time,’ she murmured. ‘I knew that.’ She paused and took a deep breath. ‘May I ask you something?’
He nodded.
‘Will you marry me, Steve?’
He moved abruptly. ‘It’s that—it is that special?’ he queried unevenly.
‘It’s that special, now,’ she agreed with no more tears slipping down her cheeks, with stars in her eyes instead. ‘Because I too have been trying to pretend that I haven’t fallen madly in love with you ever since we met.’
His taut, haw
k-like stance relaxed at last. ‘My darling Chattie,’ he murmured and pulled her into his arms, ‘if only you knew what a…damn roundabout I’ve been on since you walked into my life. How I’ve hated myself lately for even hoping I was hurting you because at least that would mean you felt the way I did or something of it.’
‘I did, I do! And I’ve been on the same roundabout,’ she confessed. ‘Not that I wanted to hurt you, but sometimes I couldn’t help hating you and—’ She broke off and shivered.
‘Never again.’ He kissed her hair, then looked into her eyes with a little flame burning steadily in his eyes. ‘Are you really sure you want to take me on, Chattie Winslow?’
‘Certain sure,’ she responded. ‘Will you?’
‘Marry you? Just let anyone try and stop me—I’ll be honoured to.’
Three and a half weeks later, six light planes were parked on the Mount Helena airstrip, a variety of four-wheel drive vehicles stood outside the garden gate and a ceremony was about to take place on the front lawn.
Before a table clothed in white linen with a gossamer silver over-cloth, the crowd gathered were all in their Sunday best with many a colourful hat, and many a suit that had come out of mothballs.
Merlene was wearing a skirt rather than jeans for the first time for years. Brett was full of importance in a proper little suit and in charge of Rich, who had silver wedding bells on his collar.
Joan Jackson was there looking elegant but slightly harassed. Jack Barlow was alongside Bill and the other station workers.
Steve Kinane stood in front of the table in a dark suit with his brother Mark beside him, acting as his best man, and fiddling with the very new gold wedding band on his left hand. And the marriage celebrant glanced expectantly at the main steps to the homestead.
Just then a hum went through the crowd as Harriet and Bridget emerged through the front door as a recording of the ‘Wedding March’ rang out.
The Australians Convenient Bride Page 14