"I don't! I live like a monk! I was ashamed of my actions. I went to school to be a doctor and had to do a stint in the psych ward. I learned a lot more about the psychology of women, and I saw the damage that can be done by..." He shook his head not saying anymore. "I felt like an ass."
"Language!" I snapped at him.
He pulled on his hair, frustrated. "The point is, if I'd known…"
"You would've pushed for me to get an abortion. Don't try and deny it."
He let out a deep breath and focused on the ground. "Maybe then, but if you'd told me last year about…" he glanced at Tyler, "I would've reacted very differently."
"I don't believe you. You acted like…like…" I glanced at Tyler, "a bad guy."
Trent nodded. "I was afraid you were a bad girl." He smiled at his words. "There've been…bad girls, girls who've tried to do mean things, when they've found out I was a doctor. Everything was always proven otherwise. They were just trying to take advantage of me, like a robber. I thought you might be a robber, too."
"Mommy no bad!" Tyler snapped at him.
"I know that now. I was just hoping for a chance to prove that I'm not a bad guy, either," he spoke directly to Tyler.
"Is Maymay your mommy?" Trent nodded yes. "You good," Tyler stated like it was a fact.
If it were only that simple…
Maylene walked out holding her purse. "Found it." She was smiling way too widely. "Oh, Trent, didn't you get my text?"
He pulled out his phone to check. "No, Mom, I haven't received your text yet." He gave her a suspicious look.
"Well, then, since we're all together, why don't we get some food somewhere with a play place?"
Tyler cheered instantly. She knew there would be no getting around it now.
"Why don't you meet us at the burger joint on First, Trent? Tyler really enjoys that place."
She knew I had a weakness for their chicken fries, damn her.
When we arrived at the restaurant, Tyler ran off to play, and Maylene seemed focused on cheering him on, as he climbed around and played.
"You're thirty-four weeks now." I wasn't sure how he knew. "OB/GYN," he pointed to himself. "I know the conception date. I was there for it, remember," he smirked.
"I was a robber," I confessed. "I wanted to get pregnant." He looked at me confused. "I didn't want to look like a whore with different baby daddies. That was why I looked you up."
"Are you kidding me? You're just saying that to piss me off."
I shook my head no. "Honest to God. I knew you were an ass, and the sperm donor for my first child. I figured you still were and would be good for a second one, without wanting any involvement."
"Did you get pregnant on purpose with him, too?" His voice wasn't raised, but he was definitely pissed.
I shook my head no. "I was scared out of my mind and alone. If I hadn't been just another notch on your bedpost, you'd have remembered that the condom did break. It was one you supplied, not me."
He looked away. I suspected he knew about it. He was looking very uncomfortable. I sat up straight, trying to get more air. "You knew. I'll bet that wasn't the only one, was it?"
He looked down.
I laughed, annoyed. "Who else? Really, how many kids do you have running around?"
"There were four, yours and Tiffany's were the only ones that, um…"
"Resulted in babies?"
He nodded yes shortly.
"You didn't even bother with a condom with this one," I pointed to my belly.
"You were on birth control."
"You're a gynecologist, don't try and play stupid." His eyes focused on the ground again. "Why would you risk knocking me up or getting an STD?" He shook his head no. "Don't even try to lie to me. I'm a mom, and I can tell when you're lying, it's my job. Not to mention, you have the same tells as your son."
He smiled a little. "When you sent the friend request, I looked up your Facebook page and saw pictures of Tyler. I wasn't sure why you wanted to meet, and I didn't know if you were another woman with a scheme, hell bent on revenge. You do realize I knew we'd never had a biology class together. I was finished with all those base courses long before you even hit college. I knew you were up to something right from the start.
"When I told Trevor about it, worried that another shit storm was going to tear at my family, he looked you up, too. He was the one who set up the first meeting, and the second meeting, too, I guess. He said the pictures were too good to be Photoshop fakes. I was in denial. After our first meeting, Trevor just about knocked me out and called you to meet him, so I could try and talk to you again. He was so sure Tyler was mine, and I was messing everything up.
"You were leaving, and I figured it'd be best to just leave you alone and try again later. Then you stopped me from driving, even though you obviously hated me. I was an ass to you, and you still took care of me. I knew you were a good person then. The way you yelled at me, it was…" he smiled, "I knew you were a good mom.
"You not only took me to my hotel, but you made sure I got to my room. It turned me on. That and you're hot…and I hadn't been with anyone in a long time." He flashed me another smirk. "When you came on to me, there was no way I was saying no. By then, I knew Tyler was mine. Somehow, in my drunken mind, I thought we should be together. I wanted to be with you. I was selfish.
"I did use a condom at first, and then when I saw you had birth control, I wrongly assumed you were taking it and gave you a quick exam before our next round. I planned on talking with you that morning about starting something up between us. I hid in the shower, working up the courage and planning out what I'd say, so I wouldn't mess it up. Then you just left. I'd walked out on so many women in my life, but that was the first time anyone had ever walked out on me."
So his crappy foreplay that had felt more like a vaginal exam really had been a vaginal exam.
He sighed. "I missed being there for Tyler. I was hoping to not miss out on this one."
"But you have, you denied her."
"It didn't look like you were lining up with the date of our consummation. You looked further along. If you were lying about this baby, then maybe I'd made a mistake, and you were lying about Tyler, too."
"Thanks for calling me fat."
He leaned back in his chair, looking up at the ceiling. "I know I fucked up." He leaned across the table. "I've been trying to figure out how to fix it. You're so damn stubborn."
"No, I'm just protective of my family. I have a right to be. You can't just waltz in here and try and take my children from me."
He took a deep breath. I was sure he was trying to calm himself. He closed his eyes for a moment, and then he smiled when he opened them. "Okay, I get why you'd think I'm trying to take your kids, but I'm not. I'm just trying to be a part of their lives. I want to be a dad. Don't you think, at some point, Tyler will notice everyone else has a daddy but him?"
"He has my dad."
"He's his grandpa, it's not the same."
A man with a little girl came walking in with some food. She turned her puppy eyes on him, and he waved her off to go play with Tyler. I saw my son watch their interaction. I wondered how long it would take before he would start asking questions.
I looked up at Trent to see his eyes fixed on my son. He was waving at him every few seconds, as Tyler climbed up the high tubes to the big slide. He usually didn't go down that one. It was too high for him. He went down the slide and popped out with a squeal. "Did it, did it, did it!"
"Great job, Tyler!" I cheered.
"Alright, big boy, look at you! Give me five!" Trent encouraged. I watched as he gave my son's hand a slap, and then Tyler jumped into his arms. Trent didn't expect it, but he quickly caught him in his arms. He hugged him tightly, and I could see his eyes shining with tears. He sniffled, and Tyler pulled back to see what was wrong. He put his little hand on Trent's cheek, showing his concern.
"I'm alright, buddy. That was just the best hug I've ever had. You're the best hugger in the w
hole world, you know that, big boy?" he gave him a watery smile.
Tyler seemed appeased and ran off to go play again. I looked over at Maylene to see if she had her eyes on Tyler, but she was looking at Trent with such emotion that it was killing me. She caught my gaze and then pointed at the play place and turned around, letting me know she would watch Tyler, while Trent and I talked.
Trent was poking at some French fries. I could tell he was trying to think of something to say to me. He finally looked up at me. "You don't have to tell him who I am, just, please..."
I let out a sigh of defeat. I had a feeling Maylene would be arranging more of these accidental meetings, until I gave in. It would be best if I took control of the situation myself, before things got out of hand. "Fine, I don't see why you can't tag along occasionally. I don't know how much experience you have with children, and I think you should have a warming-up period."
I would swear he looked like he was going to pop like a balloon. He finally jumped up and hugged me, which was very unexpected. I did my best to not breathe in his cologne or even think of how good it felt to be in his arms. I couldn't let my loneliness distract me. My kids came first.
When he sat down, he seemed to be thinking hard about something. I was surprised when he actually bit his lip. "Have you had an ultrasound? Of course you have, that's how you know she's a girl. What I meant to ask is…can I do one on you?"
"Why, still don't believe she's yours?" I nearly growled.
"No, I do wholeheartedly believe she's my daughter. That's why I regret missing her ultrasound." He looked defeated; as if he was sure I would say no. Honestly, I was in a pissy mood, so the word no was on the tip of my tongue. "I'm so sorry. I know I don't deserve it. I thought you were…"
"Further along, I get it, I'm fat. I appreciate you pointing that out, again," I snapped at him.
He looked down, ashamed. "It's happened before. It's why I was so skeptical. When mom told me you were pregnant, I was okay with it. I was shocked, but glad she'd found you. Then when I saw you, I was sure she wasn't mine…that the dates wouldn't match up."
"What made you change your mind?"
"My mom ended up getting a due date from your mother. I was sure you wouldn't lie to your mother about that. I realized she was mine too late. You were furious with me, and I can't blame you. I was a complete…" he looked around and leaned across the table, "ass," he whispered. I had to fight off a smile.
I looked down at the table and started shredding a napkin and wadded it up into a ball.
"Please, Clara, there's a machine at the clinic I work at. It'd be free. I'll even pay for your gas to come down."
"Down where?"
"Livingston, it's where I've been hiding with my tail between my legs. I'm human, Clara, but I'm trying here. I messed up a lot in college, I know that."
"Yes, you did. What were you thinking?"
He sighed, looking upset. "That's a story for another time."
"Well, you'd better plan on telling it sometime soon, if you want to be involved in my children's lives," I demanded.
He nodded in agreement, looking down at the table. "I just want to prove to you that I've grown up. I'm a different man. I'd like to be a part of their lives."
"You're a doctor, you should know better than to jump to conclusions, and never to call a pregnant woman fat," I hissed.
He pulled on his hair a little. "You're so petite, and it's your second pregnancy. I should've known better...I shouldn't have tried to guess just by looking at you."
"No, you shouldn't have."
"I know you have every right to be angry, but please, Clara, can you please let me have this? I want to see our daughter. Don't you want to have another peek at her?"
He was right. Even if I didn't like it, or him right now, it would be nice to have another ultrasound, just to be sure everything was alright with my baby. "Fine, how long does it take to get to Livingston?"
He actually clapped, and Maylene looked over to make sure everything was okay. I was sure she thought I'd slapped him. He had deserved it on more than one occasion. I smiled and gave her a nod, letting her know everything was fine, and apparently, her little plan was working…meddling woman.
"Okay, so Livingston is about three hours away. If you get off a little early on Friday, you can drive out that night. You can stay with me or my parents or at the inn, wherever you feel comfortable. Saturday, the clinic is closed, so I'll take you in then, and we can spend a little time playing with the ultrasound machine. If you want, you can stay until Sunday."
He could tell I wasn't loving his plan to stay with him or his family, so he spit out, "Bring your family. There's great fishing. I'm sure your dad would enjoy taking Tyler out while we're at the clinic. My parents have a couple of guestrooms. I know my mother would love to have yours over."
He was right, my mom and his mom had become good friends. If I ran this past them, I knew my mom would push to go. If I did go, it would probably be best to go with my parents in tow for moral support. I would need someone on my side.
I pulled out my phone and called my mom. "Hey, Mom, what are you up to this weekend?"
"Well, there's no yoga retreat, so nothing, dad was thinking about painting the kitchen."
I heard my dad shout, "No, I wasn't!"
I giggled. Mom was always trying to get him to do things he didn't want to do. He would eventually do it, though.
"So, you guys aren't doing anything this weekend?"
"No, I don't think we have anything, honey."
"Hey, Maylene." I wanted to make sure she was okay with us all staying at her house, before I volunteered it.
Trent was out of his seat, shouting, "Mom, can the Sharp's stay at your house this weekend?"
She looked over at me, hopeful. "Of course, dear."
"Including my parents?"
"I'd love to have them."
"Are you sure? We don't want to put you out."
"Positive, dear, and tell your father to bring his fishing gear as well. He and Roger can go out in the boat on the lake."
My mother must have put the phone on speaker at some point, because I heard my father shout, "Hot damn, fishing on a boat!" He always fished from the shore.
"You still owe me a painted kitchen," my mother reminded him.
"I know, woman, but our daughter needs us this weekend." He sounded way too happy to be "supporting" me on this trip. I doubted I'd see much of him while we were there.
"Alright, I'm going to see if I can get off early this Friday to drive down. I'll get the address to you as soon as I find it out."
Trent was quick to volunteer it. His eagerness was almost cute, but I was determined to stay mad at him. I knew it was a bit petty, but I needed to protect myself and my children from his charm. He didn't get a mess of women in his bed by being an ass twenty-four-seven. The man could charm candy from a baby, and I was sure said baby would be happy about giving it up and offer their sippy cup as well.
Chapter 6 – On Acting, Good and Bad
Trent was still driving Maylene to visit me and would pop in and say hi to Tyler. Things stayed awkward between us, but he didn't let it stop him from talking to my son. It didn't look like he was going to stop anytime soon.
Some days I just felt bitchier than others, and him wanting to be around Tyler made me feel defensive. He made it clear he didn't want to take him from me, just be involved, but I just couldn't shake the feeling that it wouldn't be enough for him, that Trent would want more. Maylene was so dang convincing, though. I didn't want to believe she'd betray me and my mother by trying to take my son from us, but she just seemed to have a way of getting what she wanted.
I wasn't really all that surprised to hear my mother had met Trent and thought he was very handsome. Apparently, he was giving Maylene rides to her house as well. My mother and Maylene might've believed Trent had changed, but I'd seen him play a suave bastard before.
I'd be the first to admit he could be handsome and charmi
ng, but that was an act he had perfected in college. I didn't want to fall for it a second time. I didn't need him, and I wanted to make sure he knew that. I thought it was amusing that he'd never had a woman walk out on him. When he told me that, I wanted to stick my tongue out at him and rub it in his face. I obviously needed to watch a few more children's TV shows about not being mean. I did hold my tongue and kept the words "serves you right" and "turnabout is fair play" in my mouth.
The way our mothers snuck around, it made me believe they wanted Trent and me to get together. I asked my dad about it, and he said he wasn't getting involved. It became abundantly clear that my mother and Maylene had been cohorts in planning our little get-together. I wasn't sure how much Trent had to do with it. It was my mother who mentioned how nice it was for Trent to have access to an ultrasound machine, so he could use it anytime he wanted. I had a feeling they had planted the idea of him using it on me in his head. I didn't want to start anything with Trent, though. There was too much at risk, not to mention that he showed absolutely no interest in me at all, other than to talk about our kids, and I was okay with that.
Yes, I was sure our mothers were scheming. I just didn't know what they planned to accomplish by it.
I didn't want to share my babies with Trent, but I had a feeling it was inevitable. I think my dad even mentioned it in passing that fathers played important roles in children's lives. I was ready to throttle all four of them.
We didn't see Maylene or Trent on Thursday at all, because they had gone to Livingston to get the house ready. I didn't know what all that'd entail. I hadn't done more than wash the bedding when Maylene came to stay with us. I hoped she felt the same. She didn't need to do any more than that.
Friday came too fast. I hadn't told Dr. Coust why I needed to get off early, but I sensed she knew there was something big going on and wasn't going to get in my way.
My parents were going to follow me down to Livingston to be sure our cars made it all the way there without incident. The cars were fine for driving around town, but we hadn't taken them on a long trip in some time.
When we pulled up to Maylene's home, I felt embarrassed about having made her stay in my crappy little apartment. I should have let her go to a nice hotel, while Meredith was waiting for her baby to come, and Trevor could get their third bedroom set up for her. I guess it used to be his office and still had his desk in it. I didn't know what Trevor did for work, but his home was nice, not extravagant like Maylene's, but definitely upper-middle class.
A Life Unplanned Page 4