“Just keep doing what you’re good at. Bringing in the money. I’ll worry about Lulu” this was accompanied by the door banging shut and Grace quickly started to walk in the direction of the kitchen.
“Grace” Moira’s sharp voice alerted her that she was now descending down the stairs. She turned around slowly, afraid that she had been caught eavesdropping.
“Yes Mrs. Perry?”
“I have a splitting headache. I’m going to the spa now, will you let Manuel know that I won’t be home for dinner?” she was touching up her lipstick as she walked down the stairs. Grace nodded her head and smiled, quickly disappearing into the kitchen before Moira had a chance to keep up the conversation.
It was only when she heard Moira’s car leave the driveway that she walked back to the base of the stairs again. Manuel had been informed about Moira’s absence for dinner and she was curious about the state that Ben was in now.
She climbed up the stairs quietly and stood for a few seconds outside the bedroom door. She could hear the shuffling footsteps of Ben, pacing the room. Grace drew in a deep breath and knocked.
“Who is it?” she heard his voice and it immediately made her stomach churn with nervousness. No man had ever affected her this way, so strongly.
“Grace” she squeaked.
“Come in” his voice hit her again and she turned the doorknob slowly. She knew she was taking a chance, overstepping her boundaries. He might have been drunk the previous night when he decided to talk about his feelings with her. Today, he might take offense in her familiarity.
“I was wondering if you’ll be having dinner at home. I’ll inform Manuel accordingly. Mrs. Perry said she won’t be here” Grace tried to sound casual, tucking a blonde curl behind her ear.
“Yes, I’ll be here. Where else will I go” he said. He was standing beside an open window, his arms crossed across his expansive chest. His shirt hung loose over a pair of casual blue jeans and he had his thin spectacles on. He suddenly looked older, more tired than he usually did, exhausted with his life. They stared at each other in silence for a few seconds. She could see his eyes traveling over her bare legs and the denim shorts she was wearing.
“Do you have a minute Grace?” his voice had softened. She wanted to cradle his head in her arms and cover his face with kisses.
“Yes” she said.
“Where’s Lulu?”
“Playing in her room”
“Please shut the door” he said and took a few steps forward towards her.
Grace shut the bedroom door behind her and looked around the room. She hadn’t been inside the room before, even though she had lived in this house for two years. She noticed how lavish it looked, how carefully selected each object that adorned the bedroom was. Rose pink curtains, matched the same shade of bed covers and pillow cases. A long ornate mirror hung on the wall. The cabinets and a large dressing table were all a rich chocolate brown, the room itself smelt of roses.
“I’m sure you heard us” his voice interrupted her admiration of the room. She didn’t respond but only looked away.
“She wants me to call the Governor and apologize for my daughter’s behavior. Moira believes Lulu made a scene at their house! That damn kid pulled her hair and made her cry!” he ran his hands through his hair and shook his head.
“I was there. Lulu did nothing wrong” Grace finally spoke up and she caught his eye. He looked like he wanted to break something.
“Mr…Ben, I think you should try and talk to Mrs. Perry and make her see that she should support and stand up for Lulu” Grace took a few steps towards him. He continued to shake his head.
“That’ll be the day. If Moira thinks about us, instead of appearances, you can be sure that the world is coming to an end” he looked into Grace’s eyes, his own were filled with rage and she didn’t know whether to be afraid of him or sorry for his misery. He inched closer to her, she stood still.
“I wish she could be more like you” he said softly, almost to himself. Grace couldn’t help but blush, those words were enough to make her happy. Even if he never said another word to her, never looked at her again, what he had just said would be enough to bring a smile to her face for the rest of her life.
“I mean it. You’re perfect with Lulu” he continued, he was even closer now. She could smell him, if she reached out she could touch him. She remained still.
“In fact, you’re just perfect” he whispered and she turned her shy eyes to meet his.
*****
Grace couldn’t hold his gaze for very long, Ben’s eyes had darkened and she could see them devouring the curves of her face.
“Grace” he murmured her name and she looked at him, concentrating on his lips instead of his eyes. He reached out to touch her, and she flinched when his fingers caressed her bare arm.
“I’m sorry” he said when he saw her react. She half-smiled, hoping she had not entirely discouraged him. He didn’t make a move, clearly afraid that she didn’t want him to touch her. So she reached for his chest instead, lightly touching his shirt with her fingertips. It took her by surprise when he held her hands in his, squeezing her fingers with the lightest pressure. Grace felt like she would melt right there, the vision of her own small pinkish hands in his large tanned ones was enough to make her heart beat out of her chest.
He said her name again and this time she raised heavy-lidded eyes to him, she licked her lips unconsciously and he moved closer to her. Her hands were still in his when he gently pulled her, their lips met with a smack and he held her there. With his mouth he massaged her lips, slowly working his tongue inside her mouth. She could finally taste him and she thought she was going to explode. He was delicious.
His hands travelled away from her hands now and rested on her back. While his tongue explored the inside of her mouth, his fingers stroked her back. She was squeezed up against his chest, the pressure of his arms held her in position. She opened her eyes suddenly when his hands travelled down, shaping her butt and then gently giving it a squeeze. He used his hands on her butt to pull her closer to him as he continued to kiss her, and she kissed him back.
She let her hands drop and her fingers brushed against the growing bulge in between his legs. Even through the fabric of his jeans she could feel it throbbing and she allowed her fingers to rest on it. Teasing him with gentle caresses. Ben moaned inside her mouth and she knew he was not going to be able to resist her for very long. He pulled away from her then and brought his hands up to cup her breasts. Through the material of her cotton t-shirt, his fingers began to search out her pert nipples. When he found them he played with them with his thumbs and forefingers, looking at her breasts at the same time like they were a new toy that he had been allowed to play with finally.
She squeezed him between his legs and a short moan escaped his lips. In an instant he had pulled up her t-shirt and lowered his head down to lick the bare skin of her breasts that had finally been revealed. She let go of him, arching herself back as he traced her body with his tongue. The sensation of the wet trail he left behind on her skin, which cooled in the air; gave her goosebumps and she could feel herself growing wet.
When his mouth reached the edge of her lace bra she moaned in anticipation. He didn’t make her wait. With his teeth he tugged at the fabric of her bra which he then peeled off so that it hung loose now somewhere low on her stomach. When her breasts were revealed, he stared at them again, with renewed joy.
“You are so gorgeous” he said aloud before he lunged forward and started sucking on both her nipples one by one. She couldn’t take it anymore, the sensation was too overwhelming. She called out his name, in a whisper before she pushed him away from him. The confused expression on his face didn’t last for very long as she lowered herself down slowly, to unzip his pants.
He clutched her head as she eased him out of his jeans. He wasn’t wearing any underwear and when she saw, saw his nakedness and how big and hard it already was, she wanted him inside her. Grace held it in h
er hands and gave it a teasing lick and he moaned, louder than she would have wanted him to. She stood up immediately, she wanted him now more than ever and his hands started fumbling with getting her shorts off.
Ben pushed her gently and she fell backwards with a smile. Her body sank deep into the soft linen of his marital bed. She could smell more roses as he climbed on top of her, pulling her shorts down with him. His hands ran over the length of her legs as he stared into her eyes. She turned away from him shy. His hands had now found her breasts again, while he started to adjust himself between her thighs. Grace used her own fingers to play with the hair on his chest, while the hair on his thighs prickled her own soft smooth skin. The sensation was delightful, it gave her goosebumps and she knew he could feel and see her wetness.
He grabbed her waist suddenly, she didn’t expect it but she immediately knew what he was going to do next. He held her down, as he raised himself up. With one long thrust Ben Perry was inside her, finally, and she felt him deep inside her. He couldn’t hold back and he immediately started to thrust and pull out, thrust and thrust and thrust. With each move his body shook and he went a little bit deeper. She had never had someone this big before and she could feel him stroking a part of her that she felt had been itching all her life.
Her nails dug into the flesh of his shoulders, while his hands held her in place. He wasn’t looking at her anymore. His face had grown red and he was swearing loudly. She couldn’t believe she had this affect on him, she didn’t recognize this man who was pumping himself inside her and it made her thighs quiver. He increased his pace, pushing inside her and then pulling out. Every time Ben squeezed himself inside Grace, she teetered a little more over the edge. When his hands tightened on her skin, she knew he was going to release and she decided to do the same, she didn’t want to hold back any more. He grunted loudly as he pumped, with a few quick strokes and emptied himself. She arched her body up to receive him and clutched the bed sheet with her hands as her toes curled and she soared. No man had ever made her feel this way and for this long.
They were both breathing hard when Grace’s senses returned and she began to see him clearly. He was still inside her but had started to pull out slowly. A thin film of sweat had formed on his forehead and she had a sudden urge to wipe it away.
He rolled over and landed next to her on the bed, the bed he slept in every night. Grace looked straight up at the ceiling, at a complete loss for words. Their bodies weren’t touching anymore and she knew she was going to burst into tears; from the joy, the love she felt for him and for the sadness of it all.
He was quiet too and she knew he was thinking, only she had no idea what. Perhaps he was thinking it was all a massive mistake, regretting and ashamed of what he had just done, maybe he was happy and shy? She didn’t know what to think anymore. His big chest was heaving as he tried to steady his breath. She suddenly remembered Lulu, who had probably been completely by herself for an hour. She jerked herself up and sat up in bed, looking around for her clothes which were all scattered on the floor now.
“Where are you going?” she heard him ask and she turned to look at him, crossing her arms across her bare breasts.
“Lulu. I left her alone in her room” Grace turned away from him again. She couldn’t bear to look at him, not this soon.
“Lulu will be fine. Manuel or Elena will entertain her if she’s bored” he said and she flinched again, his hands had rested on her back.
“Grace…” he said softly but she didn’t turn to look at him. “Come back here. I want to hold you”. She turned and he was looking at her, with his own sadness in his darkened eyes.
She lay back on the bed, afraid that he would be able to hear her heartbeat. He wrapped an arm over her neck and pulled her to him so that their naked torsos were now squashed together. She could feel herself relax.
“Stay for a while Grace, it’ll make me happy” he said.
*****
When Grace woke up the next morning, she heard a loud laugh. She had gone to bed the previous night, having fed Lulu and stolen a hurried kiss from Ben before he disappeared into the confines of his office for a conference call with Shanghai. When she slept, after tossing and turning in bed for hours, she slept really well.
In the morning Grace washed her face, brushed her teeth and slipped into a loose pink dress that was hanging on the door of her ensuite. The sight of the straps of her dress suddenly reminded her of the way Ben had peeled off her bra with his teeth, it made her smile.
She heard the laugh again, it was Moira. Grace’s stomach immediately rumbled and it wasn’t from hunger. She was tying her unruly blonde curls into a small tight ponytail when she stepped out of her room, on the way to wake Lulu up. Elena crossed her in the hallway, carrying a large silver tray with bowls of steaming honeyed porridge.
“They’re breakfasting together” she said and Grace stopped in her tracks.
“You mean Mr. and Mrs. Perry?” Grace tried to not sound too anxious.
“And Ms. Lulu” Elena said before hurrying away. Grace’s eyebrows knotted. This had never happened before. In the two years that she had been in the Perry household, the three of them had never had breakfast together, in fact Lulu had not once been woken in the morning by either of her parents.
She made her way slowly towards the dining room, the sound of their voices and Moira’s screeching laughter grew louder.
“There you are” Moira said just as Grace entered the dining room. Elena was laying the bowls of porridge on the table and Manuel was busy scooping fruit into them.
“Grace!” Lulu screeched and threw her arms out for a hug. Grace walked over to her and gave her a quick hug, tucking in a strand of hair behind her ear.
“We thought we’d let you have a lie-in” Moira said with a wide red-lipsticked smile. Ben had his head hung over the bowl of porridge and was refusing to meet her eye.
“That’s very thoughtful of you Mrs. Perry” she said and inched away from Lulu, she was nearly scared of what was going on.
“Mommy picked a dress for me and combed my hair today” Lulu said with a toothy grin and Grace tried to smile.
“Why don’t you take the morning off?” Moira said, dipping her spoon into her bowl. Grace didn’t respond, she didn’t know what to respond with.
“Mr. Perry and I are taking Lulu to the beach and you should just take the morning to do your own thing” Moira had turned away from her to smile at her daughter instead.
“Or you could come to the beach with us if you like” she heard Ben’s voice but didn’t want to look at him, she was afraid of how she might react if she actually saw him, looked into his eyes.
“That won’t be necessary Grace. Ben, it’s family time” Moira made a childish voice when she said it and leaned in towards her husband. He didn’t respond but his silence only encouraged Moira to lean in closer.
“Thank you Mrs. Perry. I appreciate the time off” Grace said and turned on her heels to leave the room. She could hear Lulu asking her mother to let Grace come with them but she didn’t want to stay and hear anymore. She ran down the hallway and locked herself in her room and sunk to the carpeted floor. She didn’t know how to deal with all the emotions welling up inside her. She didn’t know what to think.
It was ridiculous to her that the day after Ben has sex with her, he shares the most intimate family experience with his wife and Lulu, in two years. She bit down on her lower lip to hold back the tears that were threatening to flow down her cheeks. Just a few minutes ago, she was so happy and now she had never regretted anything as much as what had happened the previous evening.
She could still hear Moira’s voice, that high pitched laugh that put her nerves on end. Lulu’s giggles and Ben’s gruff but happy voice. They sounded normal, like an ordinary happy family who were getting ready to spend a day at the beach.To top it all off, she also missed Lulu.
She heard footsteps approaching her room and she stood up, backing away from the door, hoping nobody kno
cked.
“Grace” she heard his voice and panicked. She remained absolutely still and didn’t respond to him.
“I know you’re in there Grace” he spoke again, this time also knocking gently on the door.
“I really want to talk to you and explain all of this to you but I have to go now” he said and she sank to the floor again, she couldn’t control her tears any longer. She heard him beginning to walk away and from some other end of the house, Lulu shrieked in delight for some reason. It broke Grace’s heart as she lay herself down on the carpet, her cheek grazed the prickly material. She wished the floor would just engulf her and she could disappear forever, away from this house and away from him.
Her sadness turned to anger, mostly with herself. What could she possibly be thinking and how could she be so stupid? She blamed herself for the decision, for falling for a married man, no matter how unhappy he seemed in his marriage. This was bound to happen. One evening of passion didn’t mean that he would simply leave his wife and be with her.
She heard Ben’s car start up and Lulu’s voice calling out “Bye” to the house. She knew she should have gone to the window and waved goodbye to her, none of this was Lulu’s fault. But she just physically and emotionally couldn’t.
*****
Grace spent the day at the park by herself. She didn’t have much of a social life anymore, not since she started babysitting Lulu full time. Besides, she wasn’t really in the mood for meeting any of her friends. She couldn’t stand to face anybody who cared for her. At four in the evening, she returned back to the house, shutting the front door behind her.
Her phone buzzed just as she started walking towards her bedroom and she pulled it out of her pocket to read the text message from her mother. She had texted her earlier informing her that she was planning to leave the employment of the Perrys and try and look for a job in the city.
Her mother had responded with a plea to try and stick it out for a little longer. Ever since her father left, when Grace was fifteen years old, she had done everything she could to try and support her mother in taking care of the household and her two younger siblings.
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