“I should have listened to you long ago.” He smiled back at her before trailing her neck with a line of hot kisses.
*****
THE END
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[bc1]‘little’ is used quite a lot, and not necessary in this sentence.
[bc2]an ellipsis requires a space either side.
[bc3]not a proper noun in this context
[bc4]‘low’ and ‘lowly’ are used frequently.
[bc5]Separate lines for dialogue in this story. Amended.
[bc6]blond-male, blonde-female.
[bc7]punctuation missing after dialogue in this story, amended.
[bc8]punctuation required after dialogue, paricularly in terms of commas.
[bc9]Dialogue needs to be on separate lines in this story.
Sucker for the Boss Page 87