by Sarah Curtis
"No time like the present."
Logan tugged on the hem of Gage's T-shirt. "Daddy, you can't take Sunny away."
"I'm only taking her to my house, and you can come and see her whenever you want."
Logan seemed to think about that for a moment. "Okay, but how come me and Mommy don't live with you, too?"
Gage turned panicked eyes to Cassie. She squatted in front of Logan. "Well, Mommy and Daddy aren't married, so that's why we don't live together."
"What's married?" Logan asked.
"Um...." It was now her turn to turn panicked eyes upon Gage.
Gage squatted as well.
"Married is what two people do when they love each other and want to spend the rest of their lives together."
Logan's lower lip started to quiver. "So, you don't love my momma?"
"No, I love your mommy very much. It's just that our situation is a little complicated."
Cassie interrupted. Gage was making a muddle of things. "What your daddy means is, not all mommies and daddies are married but that doesn't mean they don't love each other or their children."
Logan seemed to think about that for a minute then he smiled and nodded. "Okay, Momma."
Gage gave her a WTF look. Yeah, she knew her answer didn't make a hell of a lot of sense, but Logan seemed okay with it and that's all that mattered.
"So, you just dance around an issue with a bunch of BS, and he's okay with that?"
Cassie shrugged. "Whatever works."
Gage grinned, "I'll have to remember that."
Cassie smiled, "Parenting 101, I'll have to give you a copy."
Gage laughed. "I think I need it."
Cassie shook her head turning serious. "No, you're doing great." She gave him a smile. "Now, let me grab a couple of leashes, a bag of dog food, we'll fill out some paperwork, and then you'll be the proud owner of two new pups."
Gage had insisted that Cassie and Logan help him bring home his new pups. He had reasoned if the dogs two favorite people were with them when introduced to their new home, it would make the transition easier. Cassie had to admit it made sense.
They pulled into a gated community. Cassie looked out the car window in awe of the large houses. At the end of the block, they came to another gate. Gage hit a remote, and the gate opened. They drove through and up a long driveway.
The house came into view, no, house was too tame a word, mansion, and Gage parked in front of a set of stairs that led to the front doors (yes doors, there were two and they were massive). "My God, what the heck could you possibly need a house this size for?" Cassie asked, craning her neck to take it all in.
Gage chuckled. "Believe it or not, the whole downstairs, apart from the kitchen, was converted into a music studio. I live upstairs."
The upstairs turned out to be more than adequate. Cassie was quite positive Gage's upstairs was twice the size of Laurie's ranch house. The master bedroom alone had four rooms if you counted the massive walk-in closet. You entered an individual sitting room, then through a set of double doors to the actual bedroom. The bed was on a raised platform and seriously, Cassie had never seen a bed that size before. The thing was huge, covered with a navy and cream spread and piled with pillows.
Cassie wasn't sure she could even call the master bath a bathroom. It was more like a mini spa. The tub was the size of a large hot tub ( it even had jets!), and the shower had six (yes, six) shower heads with an overhead skylight. It even had a small, separate room for the toilet. All in all, Gage's bedroom was bigger than her first apartment had been.
There were more bedrooms down the hall (not as grand but still, not too shabby either), a game room, what looked like a typical living room, and a gym. During the tour, the dogs sniffed and explored, discovering all the new scents.
"How about I make you guys dinner," Gage said.
"You can cook?" Cassie hoped she didn't sound as disbelieving as she felt.
Gage shrugged. "I know how to cook a few things."
Logan stayed upstairs to watch TV while Cassie and Gage made their way down to the kitchen (which was like a small country unto itself). Marble countertops, stainless steel appliances, and pale tile flooring gleamed in the sunlight. The room looked as if it had never been used, and Cassie had serious doubts about the validity of Gage's cooking skills.
Gage opened the sliding door so the dogs could explore the backyard. Cassie took a peek out the window and wanted to explore, as well. The property was vast. To the right, she could see a large swimming pool in a tropical setting complete with a waterfall. To the left was a basketball court and directly straight out, dead-ended in a forest of trees.
"Your backyard is beautiful, but Logan can't play out there until you fence the pool."
Gage had his head in the fridge. "I'll get on that tomorrow."
Cassie didn't want to sound pushy. "No rush, I was just making an observation."
Gage popped his head out of the fridge, turned, and smiled at her. "Observation noted, Sunshine. I don't want anything happening to Logan. I'll put up a fence tomorrow."
Cassie gave him a smile. "Thank you. Pools make me nervous. Logan doesn't know how to swim, yet."
"Then we'll have to get on that. There's nothing edible in the fridge, so we can either order in or go out."
"Why don't we go back to the ranch and I'll make dinner."
Gage gave her a nod. "Sounds like a plan, Sunshine. You round up Logan, I'll round up the pups."
Cassie and Gage sat, cuddling on the porch swing. It seemed to be their spot. Logan was asleep in bed. He had insisted Max and Sunny sleep with him in his room and, of course, Gage complied. They had started a new bedtime ritual, where Gage would play Logan's guitar and sing him to sleep.
Some songs he sang were older Engage songs, and she knew them, but some she had never heard before. One song he sang quite regularly was about love lost. She wondered if he had written it or if it had been written by one of his band mates. She didn't dare ask. She didn't want to know if the song was about them. Because if it was, then he really did try to find her, and he really had been heartbroken over it, and she just didn't know what to do with that information.
Could they really try again after all this time? He had hurt her so badly before. Did she dare trust him?
"What's on your mind, Sunshine?" Gage asked. He had his arm wrapped around her shoulders, his fingers tickling a pattern on her upper arm, and her head rested on his chest.
"Nothing, just enjoying the beautiful weather." No way in hell was she sharing what was on her mind.
"It is lovely, but that's not what you were thinking. The wheels are spinning in your head, baby. I can practically hear you thinking."
There was that baby again. She remained silent.
"You don't want to talk, that's fine. I'll put your mouth to better use." He pinched her chin with his thumb and tilted her head, dropping his lips to hers.
Why was it every time he kissed her, she was putty in his hands? It was unfair the power he had over her.
He got up from the swing and set her on her feet never once breaking the kiss. He kissed along her jaw until he reached her ear. "I'm going to fuck you now, Sunshine."
Cassie thought she might have whimpered, but she wasn't sure. It might have been a groan. Gage took it as a sign to usher her into the house and back to her bedroom.
He shut the door with his heel and shuttled her to the bed. Her T-shirt was gone before she could blink, then he gave her chest a push and she landed on her back, on the bed. Before she could react, he crawled over her, straddling her hips with his knees, his hands on either side of her he
ad, his weight supported with his arms.
He stared, looking down at her, his hair falling around his face. He was so beautiful, he took her breath away. How she was so lucky to have this gorgeous guy about to make her feel all kinds of wonderful, she did not know, but she intended to enjoy it to it's fullest.
"Now what are you thinking?" He asked, nuzzling his nose alongside hers.
This she decided to share. "I was just thinking how lucky I am that someone like you is here with me."
Gage stilled his actions, then said very slowly, "What do you mean by that?" He raised his head and looked down at her again.
"Um...." He looked at her so intently, it made her a little nervous.
"Um, What?"
Wow, he sounded angry. "Why are you so angry?"
"I want to know what the fuck you meant by that."
"It's nothing to get angry about." She put her hands on his chest and pushed. He didn't budge.
"Why don't you let me be the judge of that." He moved in closer, trapping her hands between their chests, so she couldn't try to push him away. His face was just a few inches from hers. He completely surrounded her, and she was effectively trapped.
"Can you give me some space?"
"No, I like you like this. Now, start talking. I want to hear what fucked up reasoning you have that you think you're lucky, and I'm not."
Now, Cassie was angry. Fine, he wanted her to talk, she'd talk. "The first time we were together, I was young. I actually believed in fairy tales and hot rockers falling for silly schoolgirls. Back then, when we were together, I actually thought we had a chance.
"Then I grew up. I became an adult, with adult responsibilities. I became a mother and a caregiver. I found out what unconditional love was, through the eyes of a child. Something I'd never felt before, and that helped me discover what we had was a fantasy, something I blew out of proportion in my head. The hot rocker only falls in love with the silly schoolgirl in romance novels and movies. In real life, the silly schoolgirl just gets fucked.
"And I was grateful for that realization, for it helped me finally get over you. For two years, I held you heavily in my heart. Then one day Logan looked at me as if I were his whole world and I could do no wrong, and for the first time in my life, I discovered what it felt like to be truly loved. And I finally realized, I was never loved like that from you.
"So what I meant, when I said I feel lucky to have you here is, I get to relive the fantasy again but this time I'll enjoy it, knowing that that's all this is, just a fantasy."
* * * * *
Gage pulled himself slowly away from Cassie. He sat at the side of the bed, his head in his hands, elbows resting on his knees. He needed a moment to think. He felt movement behind him, then a light touch on his shoulder.
He stood from the bed and took a few steps away. Hands on hips, head still down, he stared at his booted feet. What did he do with that? How did he fix the destruction that he wrought?
"Gage?"
He turned and looked at her. Really looked at her. He saw the uncertainty and confusion in her eyes. And for the first time, he saw the shell of the vibrant, happy, and carefree girl she had once been. He wanted that girl back. No, that wasn't true, he wanted his Cassie of now to be vibrant, happy, and carefree, once again.
"Gage."
He walked the few steps back to the bed, cradled her face in his hands, and tenderly kissed her sweet, soft lips. He stood back upright and made his way to the bedroom door.
"Where are you going?"
He stopped, his hand on the doorknob, but he didn't turn toward her. He spoke to the door. "I don't want to be your fantasy fuck. I want us to be real." He slowly turned his head and looked at her. A single tear slid down her cheek. "And I'm willing to wait an eternity for that to happen."
Chapter Ten
They developed a routine. Every night Gage would come over for dinner, then put Logan to bed. Cassie never interfered with bedtime. She figured it was their father/son bonding time. She had plenty of hours in the day to be with Logan.
Gage would spend a few more hours with Cassie after Logan fell asleep. He never tried to have sex with her, never spent the night, but he would hold her hand, cradle her against his chest, and give her light kisses, sometimes on her lips, her cheek, her neck, and even on her hand.
They would talk about what they did during the day. Engage was in the process of recording their new album, so they were at Gage's most of the day doing that. Cassie had found new homes for two of their dogs and then promptly acquired two more.
Laurie was in a dither because she started her annual two-week vacation in a few days. She had planned a trip to Arizona to visit her best friend. Laurie tended to worry about Tail Wagners a lot when she wasn't around to oversee things, even though in the past Cassie quite capably handled any problems that had come along. Laurie would stress the two weeks prior to her vacation, obsess the two weeks she was gone, and reassess everything when she came back. Cassie seriously didn't know why she went on vacation. It sounded exhausting.
"Don't forget the concert is tomorrow night." They were on the porch in their usual position, Cassie's head resting on Gage's chest with his arm wrapped around her shoulders, his fingers playing with a lock of her hair.
"How could I forget. I'm so excited."
Gage chuckled. "I'll pick you up at five. I need to be there a few hours before the concert starts to make sure everything is set up correctly. Laurie can watch Logan, right?"
"Yeah, it's all planned. Kyle is spending the night so Sam and Derek don't have to worry about finding a sitter, seeing as Mase will be at the concert, and he's their usual sitter."
"I don't know that I would trust Mase watching my kid," Gage said, with a grimace.
Cassie giggled. "I've only met him once, but I was given that impression as well. He seemed a little..."
"Crazy?"
Cassie giggled again. "Maybe nutty is a better word."
Gage stood from the swing, stretching his arms over his head. "I should probably get going. I have a lot to do tomorrow to get ready for the concert."
Cassie stared transfixed at the little strip of skin exposed when Gage's T-shirt raised as he stretched. She loved that little strip of downy soft hairs that started under his belly button and disappeared into his waistband. She was at the perfect level, that if she leaned forward just a bit, she could lick it.
"Sunshine, you need to stop looking at my dick like you want to devour it."
Cassie felt her face heat, and she gave him a dirty look. "If you must know, I wasn't looking at that. I was looking at the line of hairs that trail into your waistband. I remember they were really soft."
Gage took a few steps forward. "Feel free to check to see if they still are."
With her left hand, she grasped the hem of his shirt and pulled it up while the fingers of her right hand softly stroked the line of hairs. They were as soft as she remembered.
Gage took a quick step back, causing her hand to be ripped from his shirt. "Maybe that wasn't such a good idea."
Cassie noticed the front of his jeans were fuller than they were a few moments ago. She stood from the swing and took the few steps to him. She wrapped her arms around his middle and rested her head against his chest. "Let's go inside."
He took a step back from her and cradled her face in his hands, staring intently into her eyes. "Do you see it?"
She tried shaking her head, but he held her still, so instead she answered, "See what?"
"I'll make love to you when you see it."
And with those parting words, he walked to his Escalade and opened the drivers s
ide door. "Get in the house and lock up." He gave a chin tip to the front door.
Cassie watched him for a moment from the porch, feeling confused and frustrated. She knew he wanted to have sex, all evidence pointed to that, but he turned her down, again. What was it that she was supposed to see?
"Cassie."
Right, she was supposed to go in the house and lock up. He wouldn't leave until she did. She gave him a little wave before heading inside. She locked the door and turned out all the lights before making her way to her bedroom. All the while thinking. What was she supposed to see? She hoped she saw it soon because she really wanted to have sex with Gage.
They pulled up in front of the hotel, and Gage left the car running for the valet as he got out, came around, and opened Cassie's door for her. She stepped out of the truck, very aware that Gage watched her legs the whole time. She had never owned, much less worn, such a short dress before. Not only was the dress ridiculously short, it was red, clingy, and had a neckline that plunged almost to her navel. She almost didn't wear it but, it had been Gage and his no sex policy that spurred her on. If anything could get Gage to have sex with her, it was this dress.
She had called Sam that morning, begging her to meet at the mall after Cassie had gone through her whole closet and discovered she had nothing to wear. They'd searched shop after shop until Sam had declared that this was the dress she had to get. So she'd bought it against her better judgment.
When Gage had arrived to pick her up, he did a double take, and she saw him bite his tongue. She'd given him a steely-eyed stare that dared him to say anything negative, and he'd wisely stayed silent.
Laurie didn't have a problem speaking her mind. "Girl, I hope you didn't pay more than a dollar for that dress because that's all that minuscule bit of material is worth."
Cassie had just rolled her eyes at Gage's grunted approval of Laurie's comment.
Gage took her hand as they walked into the Allure hotel. Cassie had never been before and looked around in wonderment. They took the elevator up to the second floor, passing a variety of different shops on the way to the nightclub.