by Alana Terry
Jillian shook her head. “I have that doctor appointment first thing in the morning.”
Grandma Lucy nodded her head. “How are you feeling? How is your health?”
Jillian could think up a dozen other things she’d rather talk about than the pregnancy, especially now when she felt so crampy. Just another reminder of how someone else had taken over her body. “It’s gotten a little easier now that I’m not so nauseous.” That part was the truth, but the bleeding she’d been experiencing on and off for the past couple days was nearly as annoying as her periods had been.
Grandma Lucy shook her head. “I mean in here.” She reached out and touched Jillian’s chest.
She shrugged. “I just want to get it over with and move on.”
“Pregnancy is a beautiful thing,” Grandma Lucy breathed. “So many lessons you can learn through it all — love and grace and endurance.”
Jillian shrugged again. “Maybe, but since I’m not keeping the baby, I don’t really see it like that. It just feels like something that I have to get through, then life can go on like normal.”
“So normal is good?” Grandma Lucy asked the question so pointedly that Jillian found herself responding defensively.
“It’s better than here at least.” She felt her shoulders sag, and she let out her breath. “I didn’t mean that quite the way it sounded. I mean, I’m really thankful to you and Connie and Uncle Dennis for a place to stay and stuff, it’s just that ...”
“It’s just that Seattle is your home, and you miss your life, and you miss your classes at school, and you miss your friends,” Grandma Lucy finished for her.
“Yeah. That pretty much sums it up.”
“I know.” Grandma Lucy said the words with such finality that Jillian didn’t even bother questioning how she could be so certain. As long as she could remember, her grandmother had been exactly like this. Spiritual, intuitive. That’s why it was so bizarre hearing her talk about her life before she got serious about her relationship with Christ.
“You know what I think?” Grandma Lucy asked and then continued on without waiting for an answer. “I think that if I were in your situation, I would feel more comfortable at my own home, surrounded by my own family and friends, not back in a town that held so many painful memories from my past.”
Jillian picked up a piece of straw and rolled it between her fingers.
“You know what else I think?” Grandma Lucy continued, and Jillian didn’t bother to answer. “I think that what this town did to your mother and to you and your brother — and yes, even your father — was a real shame, and I pray every single day that God will one day heal those hurts and bring peace and comfort to your soul once again.”
CHAPTER 30
“JILLIAN? DR. MORRISON’S ready to see you now.”
Jillian grabbed her purse, and her aunt stood up as well. “Do you want me to go back with you?”
She shook her head. “I’ll be fine.” What did Connie think, that being pregnant made her forget how to follow a nurse and walk down a hall?
The Orchard Grove Family Medical Center was just as drab as she remembered it, even more so since she wasn’t in the colorful pediatrics area anymore.
“Right down this way, if you please.”
Jillian didn’t know how many cups of coffee the nurse had consumed before her shift, but she swore there was no human explanation for why anybody should be this chipper so early in the morning.
Jillian had finally gotten herself back to bed after her long talk and prayer time in the barn with Grandma Lucy, but her body felt every single one of those lost minutes of sleep. What had she been thinking? Couldn’t she have let her grandmother spend the night in the barn without having to go in and check on her?
And in the end, their conversation had only left Jillian feeling even guiltier that she wasn’t the kind of Christian Grandma Lucy wanted her to be.
“Have a seat,” the nurse told her, “and Dr. Morrison will be with you in just a few minutes.”
Jillian stared at the white walls and wondered how long this appointment would take. At the Seattle pregnancy center, she talked to the nurse for nearly an hour. Most of that was about how her family would react to the news. She didn’t bother to mention the real story of how she’d ended up in this situation.
What would it change?
Absolutely nothing.
She strummed her hands on the crinkly paper spread across the exam table. All Jillian wanted to know was that she was healthy and fine, and then she’d get going. She was working at the gift shop for Connie this afternoon, and it was time for her to finally read through those adoption pamphlets. She’d have to start making some choices soon.
Dr. Morrison came in, clipboard in hand, his face in a drawn-out frown. “You’re Jillian McAllister?”
She nodded.
“And you’re in your second trimester?”
Why had she spent all that time filling out his paperwork if he was just going to make her repeat everything again?
“How do you feel?” he asked. “Any changes?”
She shrugged. “Some cramps. And spotting. It was heavier today than it was before.” She was stupid to have avoided pregnancy research for so long. Maybe he could give her some pamphlets or magazines. She didn’t need any more surprises over the next six months.
He frowned and pulled out his swivel chair. “Yeah, on that note, I want to talk to you about the results from your urine test.”
CHAPTER 31
AS HARD AS HE TRIED, Ricky couldn’t get her out of his head. Out of all the restaurants in Wenatchee, what would be the chances that they’d both meet their blind dates at the same place at the same time? And even more providential was the way he was able to drive her home so she didn’t have to spend a second longer with that jerk she’d met online.
God must have had his hand in it all. Ricky was certain.
His mother had been waiting up for him when he got home — no surprises there — but Ricky had feigned a bad headache and went straight upstairs. He knew in the morning she would demand the details about his date, which is exactly what happened. Ricky answered as honestly as possible without mentioning the fact that he’d traded out partners halfway through the night and ended up having a great time with none other than Jillian McAllister, the wayward pastor’s daughter.
Mom would never understand. As she saw it, Jillian was part of that taboo family whose father had done that Awful Thing so many years ago. There was no grace or forgiveness or second chances for people like them, even though it had been Pastor Joel who sinned and not his family.
So Ricky kept the secret about last night to himself, closed his Soulmates account, and wondered when he should ask Jillian out on a second date, this time where they’d hopefully both start as well as end the night together.
The more they had talked in the car last night on the long drive home from Wenatchee, the more Ricky realized that he’d been right about Jillian. She was lonely, but he still couldn’t figure out what she was doing back in Orchard Grove. Grandma Lucy had fallen ill a few months ago but seemed to be in as good health as ever now, and it wasn’t his place to question. Maybe she just needed a break from city life.
He was half an hour into his shift at work when his dad called his cell. “You made that delivery to Murphy’s yet?”
“Almost. I’m on my way now. Just turned off Main Street.”
“Good. After that, I want you to go home and pick up your mother. She has an appointment with the doctor.”
“Is she okay? She didn’t say anything to me about any appointment.”
“She dropped a plate on her toe unloading the dishwasher this morning,” his father answered. “She thinks it might be broken.”
“Yes, sir.” Ricky pulled into his next stop. “I’ll run this in and pick her up right away.”
“Good,” his dad answered. “Don’t be late now. You know how she feels about being on time.”
CHAPTER 32
&
nbsp; “I’M GETTING TOO OLD for this,” Mom complained as she hobbled on her crutches to the elevator door. “I can hardly stand these things.”
“I’m sorry.” Ricky wondered if there was anything he could do to help. “Want me to run upstairs and see if they have a wheelchair you can borrow?”
“Mercy, no. The last thing I need is for the whole town to see me getting pushed around in one of those contraptions like an invalid. Now hold that elevator open. You know I’m terrified of those doors closing in on me.”
Ricky did as he was told. “Which floor are you going to?” he asked.
“Two.” Mom said the word sharply, as if she were disappointed her son couldn’t keep track of every single medical provider she went to see in any given month. Especially from her battle with breast cancer, it seemed like the past decade had been one string of doctor visits after another.
No wonder she told him to work hard and always get good health insurance.
“Hold the elevator,” a man called out, and Ricky pushed the button to keep the doors from closing.
He recognized that face.
“Good morning, Ricky.” Susannah Peters (actually, she was Susannah Phillips now, even though he could never get that straight in his head) stepped into the elevator. She was holding the arm of her new husband, Scott, who gave Ricky and his mother friendly nods of greeting.
“How are you today?” he asked.
“Think I broke my foot,” Mom muttered.
Susannah made a sympathetic face and was about to say something, but her new husband spoke instead. “We’re here to get an ultrasound.”
Ricky blinked. He remembered his mom getting a few of those tests over the years. Did that mean Susannah had breast cancer? She was so young, and she’d just married. “Is everything okay?” he gasped.
Susannah let out a cheerful, musical laugh. “We’re having a baby.” She beamed lovingly up at Scott.
“The two of you certainly didn’t waste any time,” Mom muttered. “When’s the due date?”
Susannah answered, and Ricky watched Mom stare at the elevator ceiling while making mental calculations. “Oh,” she eventually exclaimed, apparently satisfied. “Well, congratulations to you both.”
“Yeah,” Ricky repeated after her. “Congratulations.”
And he felt the heat rushing to his ears but didn’t know why. He was thankful when the elevator doors finally opened.
“Are you two getting off here?” Scott asked.
Ricky nodded and helped his mom hobble on her crutches off the elevator. At least Susannah and her new husband were going up one more floor. Ricky didn’t know why he should be embarrassed at the news of a newly married couple expecting their first child, but he was glad that he wouldn’t have to make any more chitchat with either of them.
The doctor’s office was just across the hall from the elevator, and he held the door open while Mom maneuvered on her crutches to the waiting area. “You check me in,” she told him. “I’m already exhausted just from that elevator ride.”
By the time Ricky sat down, Mom was having a noisy conversation with Connie, Jillian’s aunt. What was she doing here? And what if she mentioned his date with her niece?
“Oh,” he stammered, “I have my next delivery right around the corner and ...” He cleared his throat. “I think I’ve got time to run there real quick and get back in just a few minutes.” He handed his mom the clipboard, dropped the pen, and then knocked over two magazines from an end table when he tried to straighten himself up. Without waiting for permission to leave or offering any other explanation, he headed out the door as fast as he could manage without tripping over both legs.
CHAPTER 33
THE TEN MINUTES THAT Ricky said it would take to make his next delivery turned into half an hour, and he still lingered in the first floor lobby of the Orchard Grove Family Medical Center a few more minutes before he found the nerve to head back up to his mom. Whatever Jillian’s aunt may or may not have said about last night, Ricky couldn’t do anything to change that. It was his own fault for thinking he could keep secrets so big in a town this small.
Oh, well. His one night out with Jillian had been great. Too bad his mom would never dream of allowing him to take her out on a second date.
But wait a minute. Hadn’t he been telling himself all week that he didn’t have to live like that anymore? Hadn’t his experience Sunday at church taught him there were more important things — far more important things — than fearing Mom’s disapproval?
He didn’t have to hide from her. And he didn’t have to get her permission before asking Jillian out again. In fact, by the time the elevator doors opened and he was standing in front of the doctor’s office, he decided that he was going to ask Jillian tonight if she wanted to go out with him over the weekend.
Mom might object — and probably would — but as long as Ricky wasn’t doing something outside of God’s word, what did it matter?
He wiped his hands on his pants, took a deep breath, and walked into the lobby. Mom wasn’t there. Good. That meant she was still with the doctor and wouldn’t be mad at him for returning late.
“Well, did you get your deliveries made?”
He turned toward the voice, bumping into the back of one of the chairs in the process.
“Oh, hi, Connie. Is my mom still with the doctor?”
She nodded and patted the seat next to her. “How are you doing today?”
“I had a really good date with Jillian last night,” he blurted out before his brain could catch up with his tongue. “We ate a lot of breadsticks.”
Connie looked a little bit surprised.
“She’s a really tasty girl,” he hurried to continue. “And the breadsticks were fun. I mean, no wait, it’s the other way around.”
Connie raised her eyebrows. “So the two of you really were out last night?”
Ricky wasn’t sure what to make of the disbelief in her expression, but he nodded. “Yeah, did she tell you about that jerk she met at the restaurant?”
A minute or two later, he had given Connie nearly every detail he could recall leading up to Jillian’s ditching her date at Olive Garden and joining Ricky at his table instead.
“She didn’t tell me any of that,” Connie finally admitted.
“Oops. Maybe she didn’t want you to know. Might be best if you could pretend you didn’t hear all of that from me. But would it be all right with you if I asked her out again?” His leg was bouncing, and he put a magazine on his lap in hopes that the little bit of extra weight would calm down his nerves.
“Well, that’s fine with me, but you know you’ll have to ask her yourself.”
“What? Do you think she doesn’t like me? Did she say something about it?”
“No, it’s nothing like that.” For the first time, Connie looked as flustered as he felt. “You’ll just have to ask her yourself. That’s all I can say.”
Ricky felt his expression fall and remembered how embarrassed he’d been last night when Carly dumped him. He didn’t want anything like that to happen again, especially not with Jillian. Was this Connie’s way of telling him not to get his hopes up? Was she trying to soften the blow or drop some sort of hint? If only he could read women better.
Connie sighed. “For what it’s worth, hon, I would be very happy to see you and Jillian spending more time together. But of course, you know it’s not my choice to make. All that’s up to my niece.”
“What’s up to me?” Jillian’s apparent materialization out of nowhere made Ricky shoot to his feet, dropping the magazine for pregnant women that had been on his lap.
“What’s up to me?” Jillian repeated.
Connie buried her head in her purse while she rummaged around. “Oh, it’s nothing, dear. Ricky and I were just talking, that’s all. “
“Talking about me? What did you say?” She shot Ricky a glare, which he wished he could better decipher. Why did it seem like any time he talked to Jillian he said something wrong or mad
e her mad?
“Ricky was just telling me about the way that ...”
“I wanted to ask you out again,” he blurted, unable to keep the words down any more than he could have kept his leg from jostling a few minutes earlier. “How about ice cream sundaes at The Creamery on Saturday? I’m off work at two.”
He held his breath, wondering if it would always be this terrifying to talk to girls or if it miraculously managed to get easier over time.
Jillian shook her head. “Not Saturday.”
“Why not, dear?” Connie inserted. “I’ve known this boy since he was in diapers, and I can assure you he’s a fine young man and one any woman would be proud to call her beau.”
Jillian glowered, and Ricky noticed for the first time that she was wearing one of those turtleneck sweater things like Carly had. Maybe it was some sort of trend.
“First of all,” she explained, “I’m never going to call anybody my beau because I’m not over the age of a hundred. And second, I won’t be free Saturday, so thanks anyway but no thanks.”
“Jillian,” her aunt snapped.
Ricky reached out, trying not to knock anything over in the process. “Well, if Saturday doesn’t work, how about Sunday? I can take you out for burgers after church.”
“Not then either.”
“Why not?” Connie demanded. Ricky couldn’t tell if having her aunt speak improved his chances or just made them worse.
“I’m not going out with you on Saturday or Sunday or any other day of the week because I’m leaving this stupid town, and I swear I’m never coming back again.”
CHAPTER 34
“WHAT PART OF I don’t want to talk about it is difficult for you to understand?” Jillian had never snapped like that at her aunt before, but during the entire car trip back to Safe Anchorage, Connie had done nothing but pry into her personal life, trying to butt her head into what was absolutely none of her business.