Xenotech General Mayhem: A Novel of the Galactic Free Trade Association (Xenotech Support Book 4)

by Dave Schroeder

  “I take it you’ve decided to put me in the friend category?” said Danny. “What about Aragorn?”

  “Huh?” I said.

  Then it hit me. I recited a line I’d memorized from The Lord of the Rings. The hobbits had just met Strider and aren’t sure whether to trust him.

  “… a servant of the enemy would look fair and feel foul,” I quoted.

  “I look fair, I hope,” said Danny, “and I hope I feel fair, too, not foul. At least I try to treat my employees, customers, and other stakeholders fairly.”

  “That was my read,” said Poly. “I think I’m a good judge of character, and while you clearly are a character…”

  Danny uncrossed his arms and smiled.

  “… I don’t think you’re a Terran chauvinist hell-bent on conquering the galaxy for the glory of Mother Gaia, even though you are a general.”

  “You mean that honorary title in the Puerto Rican state guard?” asked Danny. He started chuckling. “That was the governor’s way of showing her appreciation for not running against her.”

  It was my turn to laugh. “I knew you were too smart to run for public office.”

  “Thank you for that vote of confidence,” said Danny. “In that case, I’ll hold off deciding which side of the boundary between sense and madness you and your partner are on until we’ve gotten to know each other better.”

  “Much obliged,” I said. “That’s the most we can expect under the circumstances.” I paused, then changed direction. “We’re trying to learn as much as we can about EUA Corporation. Have you had any dealings with their executive leadership team?”

  “We’ve got a dozen or so joint ventures with EUA,” said Danny. “They’ve partnered with half the Terran 500, but I haven’t been down in the trenches negotiating our deals with them. I usually just come in and shake hands with one of EUA’s EVPs when it’s time to sign contracts. It’s a photo op thing for the business press.”

  “Do you remember any of the EUA executives’ names?” I pressed.

  “No, sorry,” said Danny. “Camilla would, I’m sure. I can ask her.”

  “Maybe later,” I said. “Give yourself a few more seconds to think.”

  Danny rubbed his chin like it was a genie’s lamp.

  “Got it,” he said. “The folks at that company with the weird name.”

  “Chapultepec & Castle?” suggested Poly.

  “That’s the one. Scott Winfield and Josephine Johnson.”

  “We know about them. Anybody else?” I asked.

  “Some Ivy League guy and a tall woman who comes on like a blonde Jessica Rabbit,” said Danny. “My apologies, Poly.”

  “Don’t worry about it,” said Poly. “I know who you mean and you’re right on target.”

  She stared at me for a long moment. I wasn’t looking forward to our next private discussion about Rosalind.

  “Are there more?” I asked, hoping to coax something actionable out of our conversation.

  “Just their top legal people,” said Danny. “EUA’s got a crack legal team—real deal makers. They’re not the usual gaggle of unimaginative gray suits that tell you what you can’t do all the time. Their corporate counsel folks have vision. That’s why they’re so good at hammering out joint ventures and acquisitions.”

  “Fascinating,” I said.

  I didn’t mention that Poly’s sister would be in court against one of EUA’s corporate sharks in a few hours. I also didn’t tell Danny that people high up inside EUA were trying to kill us. That would probably make it a lot easier for him to categorize us as crackpots.

  “What’s this about The General and the Earth First Militant organization?” asked Danny.

  “Remember when the Princess of Dauush was kidnapped on First Contact Day?” I asked.

  “Of course,” answered Danny. “Everyone was watching the news instead of my legislative broadcasts.”

  “That was an Earth First Militant operation orchestrated by Anthony Zwilniki at VIGorish Labs.”

  “And EUA had recently acquired his company,” said Poly.

  “That doesn’t prove EUA was behind it,” challenged Danny.

  “Winfield and Johnson confirmed it,” I said.

  “How do you know all this?” asked Danny.

  “Jack and I handled the rescue,” said Poly. She smiled at me and squeezed my hand.

  “That was you? I’m impressed.”

  I smiled back and replayed my favorite memories of saving Terrhi, which did not include getting shot.

  “Thank you,” said Poly.

  “The rescue was one thing,” said Danny, “but keeping your involvement out of the media was a real coup. Believe me, I know.”

  That was more a matter of keeping ourselves out of the spotlight to try to preserve some semblance of normal lives. The twenty-four-hour news cycle can be brutal.

  “I’m glad you were impressed. That makes a perfect segue into the other reason we’re here,” said Poly. “We’re looking for consulting opportunities. Could we be useful to SLN in some capacity? You wanted to hire both of us—why not rent us? Is there any way Xenotech Support Corporation can be of service to you or one of your companies?”

  I saw what she was doing. Poly was putting the conversation back on a more traditional business footing, instead of sliding toward having Danny label us as paranoid conspiracy theorists.

  Danny rubbed his chin again.

  “There is something I could use your help with,” he said.

  “Name it,” said Poly.

  “We’re leaking,” said Danny, “and I want to find out who’s responsible.”

  “Leaking?” I asked.

  “Leaking money. Leaking information. Leaking top people,” said Danny. “My auditors uncovered some of it. A million here, a million there, and pretty soon you’re talking real money.”

  I asked a leading question. “You said information and people as well?”

  “Right,” said Danny. “I.T. and H.R. uncovered patterns that didn’t make sense. Details about key bids leaking to competitors. Senior sales people and software developers leaving without telling us where they were going, that sort of thing.”

  Poly and I nodded.

  “It’s never been so much that the VPs running any single division of SLN would get suspicious,” said Danny, “but from where I sit it tells me we’re being targeted.”

  “From what you’ve said, I’d agree,” I contributed.

  “I’d usually have my own security people investigate, but I don’t know if any of them are part of the problem,” said Danny.

  “Bringing in outsiders makes a lot of sense,” said Poly. “It’s hard to know who you can trust on the inside.”

  “Uh huh,” said Danny. “But this sort of investigation’s not really in your wheelhouse, is it? You specialize in alien tech support, right?”

  “Technical support is only one of our core competencies,” answered Poly. “We’re also quite skilled in industrial espionage and covert assignments. You can ask Jeanette Obi-Yu at GalCon Systems, if you’d like a reference.”

  “I already did,” said Danny. “Bart Urrrson dropped her name yesterday. I called Nettie right after he asked for this meeting.”

  “Then why did you say we didn’t handle investigations?” asked Poly.

  “I wanted to see if you’d tell me about the job you just did for her,” said Danny.

  “I’d never mention the specifics of client assignments without prior approval,” said Poly.

  “Jeanette said you’d say that,” said Danny “She told me all about what you did for GalCon Systems in Las Vegas.”

  Poly didn’t say anything. Her expression remained neutral. Danny laughed.

  “Congratulations. You passed again,” he said. “You can keep a secret. Jeanette told me about one of her people turning out to be a mole, and how you and Jack uncovered her.”

  I started to squirm—on the inside, anyway. I was feeling uncomfortable about the idea of uncovering Rosalind. Pi
ctures from our brief time together on Orish fleshed, I mean flashed in front of my eyes. Get your brain in focus, Jack! I hoped Danny never realized that the Jessica Rabbit woman from EUA was also the person who’d stolen the plans for GalCon Systems’ new router. I was glad Poly was carrying the conversation.

  “In the interest of full disclosure,” said Poly, “Nettie and I were roommates at Harvard.”

  “Full marks for honesty,” said Danny, “and something I already knew. Janet Yu, your mother, and I all served together on an advisory board for the Smithsonian back when you and Nettie were in college. I was just a kid and they helped show me the ropes.”

  He and Poly exchanged smiles.

  “Mom told me about that,” said Poly. “She wanted you to ask me out.”

  “Back then, I was too young and full of myself to ask you or Nettie out,” said Danny.

  “You only had time for models and starlets,” said Poly.

  “I was going through my Tony Stark phase,” said Danny.

  “And you’ve outgrown that stage now?” asked Poly.

  “Maybe,” hedged Danny.

  Both of them shrugged, then laughed.

  It made sense that Pablo Daniel Figueres would know Barbara Keen, Poly’s mother and the highly successful publisher of Keen’s Guides to the various planets of the galaxy. Perhaps it wasn’t so surprising that we’d managed to get an appointment with Danny at short notice after all. I was getting impatient with all the chitchat. When would he cut to the chase and tell us the specifics of what he needed?

  “Now that the preliminary fencing is over,” said Danny, “let’s cut to the chase.”

  I wondered if I was unconsciously developing skills as a projective telepath.

  “I need you to look into my leaks from multiple directions,” he said. “Forensic accounting, digging into server access logs, reviewing personnel records, whatever it takes to get to the bottom of things and find out who or what is siphoning off money, information, and my best employees.”

  “We’d be glad to handle the investigation,” said Poly.

  She named a fee. I made sure I didn’t react to the number—I was used to dealing with small and mid-sized clients, but Poly must have learned how to play in the big leagues at business school or her mother’s knee. Danny didn’t react either. He just nodded.

  “Send me a contract and I’ll sign it,” said Danny, “after I’ve had a chance to run it by my legal department.”

  That was another test. Poly didn’t fall for it.

  “I don’t think it would be wise to have this agreement in writing,” she said. “We don’t know who in your organization might be involved and the fewer the number of people who know about our investigation, the better.”

  “I couldn’t fool you,” said Danny. “You’re Barbara Keen’s daughter, all right. That reminds me, I need to get in touch with your mother. We’re negotiating a full-package legislative broadcast deal with the Fthtipth and Babs always had amazing insights into their psychology.”

  Babs?

  The Fthtipth were a galactic species that looked like Mylar balloons and floated about in the atmosphere. They had a special appreciation for the nuances of hot air, and therefore a special love for the deliberations of Terran legislative bodies.

  “I think she’s making the rounds of the Pyr pleasure planets with my father right now,” said Poly. “Her last message said something about ‘making up for lost time.’”

  “Maybe I’d better not interrupt her,” said Danny.

  “I wouldn’t advise it,” said Poly. “We can all shake on the deal. I know your word is your bond.”

  “And my phone can capture it on video for a permanent record,” I said.

  Poly gave me a don’t-screw-up-the-deal look, but I had a method to my madness. My phone hopped off my belt, extruded arms, legs, and a head. It walked across the coffee table to stand by Danny.

  “Capturing video is a specialty,” said my phone. “You can be confident it will remain fully confidential.”

  “How does it do that?” asked Danny. He waved at my oddly mobile phone.

  “It’s an Orishen mutacase,” I said. “I can hook you up with my supplier.”

  “That would be great,” he said. Then his own phone made the ding of an incoming text message.

  “That should be a link to a site where you can purchase a mutacase,” said my phone. “Any color you want so long as it’s black.”

  “You’ve programmed it with initiative, too?” chuckled Danny.

  I nodded, though I didn’t know how much I wanted to encourage him. A lot of his people’s jobs might be up for review if he got his hands on my custom artificial intelligence mods. It was time to change the subject, even if it might blindside Poly.

  “In the interest of full disclosure,” I said, “it’s my turn to share more information. We traced the Galcon Systems’ industrial espionage back to an EUA company.”

  “Chapultepec & Castle,” said Poly.

  She realized what I was doing. We’d established a relationship based on trust with Danny and now was the best time to tell him the rest of the story. I didn’t think he’d write us off as crackpots now.

  “And uncovered a plot to steal intellectual property from hundreds of companies at GALTEX engineered by EUA Corporation,” I continued.

  “That failed, thanks to us,” said Poly.

  “Which led to EUA shooting down Winfield and Johnson’s plane,” I said.

  “I saw that,” said Danny.

  “On the news?” asked Poly.

  “No. Out my window yesterday morning. I literally saw it,” said Danny. “It was a huge fireball. The talking heads on-line said it was either swamp gas coming up from the Okefenokee or a private dirigible explosion. Too bad about Winfield and Johnson.”

  “They’re fine,” I said. “They were afraid The General might not be happy they screwed up his plot to steal intellectual property, so they weren’t on board.”

  “Maybe those two are smarter than they seemed,” said Danny. He shook his head. “It was also a stretch to use an old flying saucer excuse like swamp gas to explain the explosion.”

  “EUA has people in high places in news organizations,” I said. “And no one ever went broke overestimating the gullibility of the average Terran viewer.”

  “I know,” said Danny. “In my line, that applies to galactics as well. I’m glad EUA isn’t coming after me.”

  “Not yet, anyway,” said Poly.

  “No,” said Danny. “I don’t think they will.”

  He looked thoughtful. There was something he wasn’t telling us, but now was not the time to dig deeper.

  “There’s more,” I said. “EUA tried to shoot us down yesterday, too.”

  “The other two explosions?” asked Danny.

  “Uh huh,” I said. “We sent down decoy shuttles.”

  “From the Charalindhri?” he asked. “So the heat beam that slagged those two warehouses was you, too?”

  “Well, it was technically based on orders from Queen Sherrhiliandarianne of Dauush, but yeah,” I confirmed.

  “How do you know any of this was connected to EUA?” asked Danny.

  “We were there when The General was planting hypnotic suggestions in the minds of the tech company executives at GALTEX,” said Poly.

  “But nobody’s ever seen him,” said Danny. “That’s part of his mystique. Somebody could have been pretending to be him.”

  “Winfield and Scott report to The General,” I said. “At least they did report to him. They got their instructions for the Vegas plot through their normal channels and had no reason to believe it wasn’t their boss.”

  “Plus,” said Poly, “we’re in contact with other senior people inside EUA. They’ve told us there’s a contract out on our lives, so we’re keeping a very low profile.”

  “That doesn’t sound like the EUA Corporation I know,” said Danny. “They play rough, but not that rough.”

  “Surface-to-air m
issiles are pretty rough as far as I’m concerned.”

  “Okay,” said Danny. “I do have a back channel to a guy fairly high up at EUA. I could check with him and find out what he knows.”

  “We’d really rather you didn’t do that,” said Poly. “We don’t trust anyone at EUA.”

  “I can appreciate that,” said Danny.

  “I can assure you that our need to stay mostly out of sight won’t interfere with our ability to find out who’s responsible for your leaks,” said Poly.

  “Though I’d caution you to prepare for more trouble if EUA turns out to be behind your problems,” I said.

  Poly gave me a why-did-you-have-to-say-that look. Danny frowned.

  “We’re not starting your project with preconceptions,” said Poly. “We’re going to explore all possibilities. We just want you to understand that based on our experience, EUA Corporation will be one of the options we’ll explore.”

  “Right,” said Danny unenthusiastically.

  Clearly it was time for us to go. Poly stood. Danny and I did, too.

  “Let’s shake on our arrangement,” she said.

  We shook. Danny had a firm grip. My phone got it all on video, including Danny restating his agreement to our fee. He kept looking at my phone, with the same mentally-taking-it-apart expression that Max had used. My phone seemed glad to jump back on my belt before our host dissected it.

  Danny pushed buttons on his phone, turning off his portable privacy field.

  “Thank you again for seeing us,” said Poly as Danny opened his office door. We stepped out and moved into the area where Camilla Moultrie had her desk and played gatekeeper for her boss.

  “We really appreciate your donation,” I said, “and you’ll make such a big difference in children’s lives.”

  Danny gave me a wry smile, acknowledging my misdirection. I felt Chit crawling down my back then creeping her way along my left leg toward my ankle. She tickled.

  “Have a great day,” he said.

  “You, too,” said Poly.

  I was distracted, so I just nodded. I couldn’t feel Chit anymore.

  Poly and I didn’t speak until we’d left the building and were in an autocab heading back to the Georgia Tech underground research complex. My phone sat across from Poly and me in the vehicle.