“I'm glad your eyes are glowing because I can't see in the dark you know.” I say as I try not to stumble, finding my way over to him. He doesn’t respond to my witty remark and when I get close enough I can hear him rasping and struggling to breathe.
“Oh, gods. Shadow?”
“Lantern,” he breathes. “Wall,” is all he can manage to say.
I get up and walk with my hands out in front of me. When they hit something cold and solid I assume I've made it to the wall. I bend down and feel along the wall for the lantern.
“Aha! I found it.” I click on the battery operated lantern and walk back over to him. Now that I can see, he's in worse shape than I imagined. His lips are purple and his skin is not its beautiful tan color. It is so pale it’s taken on a blue tint. His eyebrows are drawn down and he's shivering uncontrollably.
“Should I take it out?” I ask, nodding to the arrow lodged through his side.
“It’s...poisoned...”
“So, what should I do? Tell me! I am doing something! You have to be okay! What do you want me to do? What should I do?!”
“Take...arrow...out...then go get....Lilith. Need...blood.” He moans in pain at the same time a violent shiver racks his body and he spits up the blood he needs to badly.
“Okay, okay.” I look around for something to put in his mouth, so he can bite it when I wrench the arrow out. I don’t want him screaming to alert the Hell Horde where we are. I untie my small bag from my waist, throw my old shirt and shorts off to the side, and roll it up. It's actually really hard to get it behind his fangs because they're so long right now. He eventually helps me maneuver it into position.
“Okay, on three?” I ask.
He squeezes his eyes shut and nods.
I go ahead and break the arrow off at the head careful not to cut myself with the poisonous tip, and then grab the back end of it. We're lucky the tip went all the way through, because you can’t pull an arrowhead back through the body.
“One...Two...Three!” With a hard yank, I pull the head and the rest of the arrow out of his ribs. He groans loudly into my rolled up purse, just as I anticipated. Blood is pouring out of the wound in a steady flow so I put my hand on it to staunch the blood flow. He looks even paler now and I wonder if I even have time to fly back and find Lilith. I don't know where to look, or which way to go to get back. I don’t think I can fly back by myself with these uncontrollable new wings either, but I don’t tell him that because I don’t want him to panic.
“...Lilith...” He begs on a whisper.
Just him wanting her, needing her, as much as he does right now hurts me deeply. Jealousy is rearing its ugly head and I’m seething with fury.
“Shadow, I don’t want you to panic, but I don’t think I can fly back without you, much less in time to bring someone else here with me. And then she would see your wings. Is there not anything I can do?”
He tries to lick his lips, but I can see that his mouth is too dry because it doesn't wet his blood-crusted lips at all. He looks so pitiful and it breaks my heart into a million pieces. If he wants blood, the least he can do is take mine. I would rather him take mine than hers anyways. I kneel down and take his shaking hands into mine. I look him in the eyes and let my gaze linger on his pale face, then to his irresistible lips.
I look back at his glowing ember eyes, asking an unspoken question.
When he closes his eyes and doesn't shake his head, I take it as permission. I have my answer. I think I've always had my answer, but I've been too scared to admit it to myself.
I lean down just enough to brush my lips to his. Then I kiss him. And it’s like magic. Right here in this moment, I feel like we belong together. I’ve spent what feels like a lifetime dreaming of a moment like this. His lips are so sweet, and I'm lost in this moment with him. His hand somehow finds the strength to rise to the back of my head to pull me closer as we kiss like nothing is wrong. His kiss is hot and fervent but yet he is gentle and not overbearing. Even in this I can tell he is being selfless, thinking of my pleasure. He is such a giver.
After a while we're both breathing heavy and my body is singing with need. I want more, more, more. I have to have more of this addicting demon. I hesitantly swipe my tongue out hoping to touch his, but instead of his tongue, I get his fang. It's a lot sharper than it looks because it cuts my tongue badly. I flinch and my blood fills both of our mouths. He moans loudly and tightens his grip on my head. His other hand comes up around my waist and presses my body closer to his. Now we're pressed tightly together from our legs up to our mouths. I notice a red haze behind the darkness of my closed lids and open my eyes to find two ember irises returning my half-lidded gaze. He releases my mouth, and kisses down my cheek to my neck. I moan, shocking myself. I notice him trembling and shaking and in the back of my mind I remember that he is not well and needs blood.
“Shadow…if you need…blood…” I tilt my head even farther, exposing more of my neck.
He moans. “I tried…gods I tried…to not need it. I’m sorry, Alexia. I can’t hold back any longer…”
His fangs are in the column of my neck, between my shoulder and throat before I ever feel the bite. It’s the most erotic thing I could ever imagine and I can’t find words to describe this amazing feeling. It's nothing like the little skin healing technique from earlier but I can't wait for that part to come either. I feel like I’m merging into him, becoming one. I can’t think coherently. All I know is that I have lava going through my veins and ice through my heart. Hot and cold, fire and ice. All of my skin is puckered, hair standing on end. Each languorous pull lulls me into a state of bliss and vaguely wonder why he sounded sop anguished right before he gave in and bit me. At this point I would beg him not to stop, ask him to drain me completely.
This is my last coherent thought, before darkness pulls me under.
*~*Chapter 8-Secrets of the Past*~*
Everything is fuzzy. I hear something that sounds like flowing water in the back of my mind. It sounds like I'm underwater and someone is calling my name from above, trying to pull me up, but it’s all so blurry I can’t really make it out.
“Alexia? Alexia, wake up!”
I'm being shaken, and I wake with a jolt, noticing an unknown form lurking over me in the dim light. I can't tell who it is with my blurry vision. I blink a couple times, rub my eyes and moan. My head is pounding.
“Ah gods, finally. You had me so worried, Alexia.” The blurry form lets out a long-held breath. Even without my vision I know that voice. I could never forget it now. Now that it’s ingrained in my memory.
“How do you feel? Do you need anything? Do you want water?” His words come out rushed and panicked. He is concerned for me, and I fall a little bit in love with him for it.
I have cotton mouth and feel dizzy and nauseas and suddenly everything comes back to me. Was I just dreaming or did we really kiss?
“Ug,” I moan, “My head is pounding, and I'm dizzy. Water would be amazing right now. Oh and my mouth feels like a desert.” My eyes track his every movement.
He nods and reaches somewhere next to me. “Can you sit up?”
I nod. “I think so.”
“Here.” He helps me sit up and holds a wooden bowl to my mouth. “Drink.”
I let the water cool my torrid mouth in greedy gulps. Before long, the bowl is empty and he takes it to the waterfall to replenish it.
“What happened? How long have I been asleep?”
“About two hours. We should get back soon. The ceremony starts at nightfall.”
“Oh.” I rub my head.
“Ah, I want to thank you for letting me....nourish and heal by..., you know. Thanks for that.” He breaks eye contact and rakes a hand through his still wet hair, making it spike back up. “If it wasn't for you I'd be dead. I am in debt to you, Alexia. I owe you my life, and I can’t express how sorry I am that I almost…” he chokes up on his words and swallows nervously. He mumbles a few things in a language that I don’t und
erstand harshly and shakes his head at himself. “I almost killed you, Alexia. I couldn’t stop. I still don’t know how I did.”
“First of all, you saved my life, twice! Second, I wanted to give you my blood.” I clear my throat. “And third, well, I liked it. I don’t regret it. I wasn’t going to let you die, especially when it was my fault.”
I reach up to rub my neck where he bit me, and find that there are no marks. I know when a demon bonds, the female gets a permanent mark, one that matches his mark, and then he can only live off of her sustenance. It’s clear that we aren’t bonded, and I’m not sure why I am not happy or relieved about it. Just curious.
“It was not your fault,” he corrects me scathingly. “You have caught on to flying faster than anyone I have ever heard of. And the fact that the Hell Horde has escaped Hell tells me something is very wrong. They are bound to Hell by Lucifer for all eternity, never to escape.”
“So that's what those things were? Some kind of Hell-dem…” Oops, I don’t know if I call them a demon if it would be accurate, but I don’t have a very good brain-to-mouth-filter. I don’t want to offend him.
“Demon, you can say it. Yes, they are a demon of sort. Do you feel good enough yet to fly? We need to leave before they find us.”
“I still feel a little dizzy. I should be okay soon though. I just want to sit here a little longer.”
He nods and stares off in space, thinking quietly.
“How did you find this place?” I try to break the silence.
“My parents used to come here. They brought me when I was a fledgling.”
How did his parents find it? And why in the world they would come here, outside the walls?
“It's a long story.” He knows me so well already, that he is answering my unspoken questions. Do I know him so well?
“We have nothing but time,” I insist.
He looks at me for a long moment, deciding. “Can I trust you with my life?” The seriousness in his words and expression make it clear to me that this is something he has probably never told anyone else. How many deep, dark secrets does this tormented boy have?
“If I have not already proven that, I will do so however you wish,” I say seriously. He has saved me more than once, and I owe him my life.
The corners of his lips pull up in a sweet half smile, and he looks so young and innocent that it almost breaks my heart to think about what a hard life he’s had at such a young age. Was he ever really a young boy that got to play with toys and was coddled and nurtured and loved?
“Okay, I will tell you, but like I said, it's a long story,” he takes a deep breath.
“My mom was a demon like me and she met my dad when she went off to the Grand Mecca. He was an angel. They fell in love and started seeing each other in secret. Of course, they were arranged to marry someone of their own kind and it tore them both to pieces. They met up constantly behind their fiancé’s back, and they both avoided the marriage union with their fiancé, putting it off as long as possible because of their love for each other. My dad couldn’t bear to imagine my mom drinking anyone else’s blood and lying in the marriage bed. It drove him crazy, so the very last day, the day we are forced to consummate the bonds; they exchanged blood and became bonded to each other instead, so that my mom could only live off of his blood. It also marked my dad with her specific symbol, and he had to hide that mark from the angels every day, or face death. They planned on escaping the walls to live together and on the first journey outside the walls they found this island and this cave. From then on they would come here, to be together. They were bringing supplies and food here little by little until they had enough to start a life here.
“Well, a half a year later my mom finds out she is pregnant with me and all hopes of leaving the City vanish and it gets too risky to keep meeting every day. My mother's husband was starting to suspect that it wasn't his child because she avoided their marriage bed so much and the bond still hadn’t taken place. They didn’t share the mate markings or a mind-link. He started keeping her close to him, not letting her leave their house, and even though she shared her blood with him, it didn’t truly nourish her.”
“Because she was bonded to your dad?” I ask.
“Exactly. It's a bond for life. She acted like he nourished her, so he wouldn't find out, but she was pregnant and you need more blood to sustain two lives. Her health started to decline very visibly and that’s when he really started getting suspicious of her. He suddenly allowed her to come and go as she pleased again, in hopes of following her.”
“Oh no. What about your dad?” I ask.
“He was going crazy, literally. He thought maybe she and the babe were both dead, because she just stopped showing up to meet him. He knew that after about three days she would start going downhill, because we need to feed about every day. Three days is torture.” His voice is sad now. After a long pause he continues. “Anyways, she was really smart, so she knew that her husband let her suddenly go out so that he could follow her. Luckily, she lost him on the way to meet my dad. To make a long story short, she managed to meet my dad about once a week to feed, which wasn’t nearly enough. Between the lack of blood and her waning strength I came five months early right here in this cave.”
His voice is quivering and I try my best not to cry. My throat is tight and my heart hurts for him so bad. He squats down in front of the waterfall and idly plays with the dirt, grasping handfuls and letting it sift through his fingers as he puts himself back together. I struggle to my feet and to my surprise my dizziness has faded and I am able to walk over to him. I sit next to him and hug him.
“This is the first time I’ve been back to this cave.” His voice is quiet and melancholy now. “This is the cave in which I was born and my mother died.”
“I’m so sorry, Shadow. I know there just aren’t any words to take away the pain.” I squeeze him tighter in our embrace and he rests his head on my shoulder.
He clears his throat. “So my dad left me on my mother’s best friend’s door step. He didn’t dare leave my with my mom’s husband, because he knew he hated me. So, I was adopted my Lilith’s mom.”
My face registers shock and surprise. “Lilith’s mom was your moms-”
“--Best friend,” he finishes for me, nodding his head.
“So I grew up and I was twelve years old when I got my fangs, just as all demons do at that age, and I also got a severe pain in my back. This went on for weeks, even months until I was writhing in agony. My adopted mother knew something was wrong but didn’t know what. As you know, or will find out if you haven't heard, if you keep your wings locked up inside yourself too long, you will experience excruciating pain. They have to be released every so often. Anyways, my dad kept an eye on me from afar in the City as I grew up. He noticed something was wrong one day when I just fell to my knees in agony. So he dragged me down an alley to the wall and flew me here. I was in too much pain to even know an angel had me in his throws flying me over the wall. I was winking in and out of consciousness with pain. Anyways, when we got here, to this cave, he explained everything to me. About him and my mother; my real mother. At first I didn’t want to believe him, because I had grown to love my adopted mother and father. But it made sense when he told me about the pain in my back and helped me release my wings. Most angels don’t get wings until they are eighteen, but apparently since I'm a half-breed he didn't know what to expect. I agreed that I think I needed to fly, because I had been feeling an urge to jump off of something high. I just thought I was crazy.” He laughs cynically and shakes his head. “So he took me to that waterfall. He was going to explain everything to be about how he had to release them for me and that whole spill I gave you. But at the time I was mad at him, at my mom, at the world. I didn’t want to be a half-breed and I didn’t want to have a dead mother and emptiness in my heart. So stupidly, I just ran off the cliff and decided I didn’t need his help then, since I had come so far without it. You know how that story ended, with me a bro
ken mess on the rocks below.”
I gasp. “That story was…you? It wasn’t about an angel, it was about you?”
He laughs bitterly and nods.
“That was me. So you know what happened first, but after I fell, dad brought me back here and I was even in worse pain. We thought I might die at that point.
“After falling I was in bad shape. There were broken bones, gashes and I was losing blood rapidly. Of course, I hadn’t had my first feeding yet, since all these things appeared at the same time, so I had no idea that I needed to feed to heal. Luckily, dad knew more about me than I did because of his love for my mother. He held my mouth open and dripped blood into my mouth from his wrist until I came to. While he did he told me how he felt for my mother and me. He loved her so much, he always had. He missed her to the point where he didn’t think he could go on. He cried right there, and it broke me. My father was just sitting there, giving me his blood, my head in his lap, pouring out his soul out to me.”
I don’t want to sully the moment with inadequate words so I just rub his head and kiss his cheek, letting him get this heavy burden out.
“When I healed we talked of everything and I finally believed how much he loved me and my mother. I had forgiven him for abandoning me. He only did what was in my best interest. It felt so good to be loved.
“We made my first flight, which was even worse than yours,” he laughs. “A few minutes later we were marveling at my new black wings.”
“What did you do after that? What about your dad?”
“My dad. Oh my dad. No matter what I looked like, I was the best thing that had ever happened to him, besides my mom. He told me that all the time. He accepted me just as I was and loved everything about me. Unfortunately, I didn’t get to spend much time with him after I finally found him.” He swallows and inhales. “My dad was burned to death in front of the City, as an example to all those who mingle with different kinds.”
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