*****
A week after being home from her trip, it was business as usual back at work. Virginia owned the whole building, but that didn’t mean things stopped when she wasn’t around. It was like she hadn’t left at all. She was swamped from when she stepped in Monday morning to when she was leaving late on Friday night. She took her work home with her, as she usually did around this time of year. She was taking business calls at 3 in the morning from clients in Shanghai, and Skyping potential investors to set up venues all around the world. She was getting prepared for next year’s spring and summer collections, and some personal work for some very wealthy clients and friends. She was always on the ball and always on top of things, even when Nancy pleaded for her to take an actual break and to let her get some help sometimes.
The following Monday, she marched through the doors, and even before getting on the elevator there was an intern letting her know about a late night talk show that wanted her on later that week, and a potential meeting with the First Lady to design a one of a kind outfit for her and her daughters for a surprise party for the Vice President. Virginia was back in business. She agreed to all meetings she needed to, and told the First Lady that she would get back with her with some ideas within the next few days-given she had all of the measurements that she needed of course. It had been quite some time since she had met the first family. To Virginia, this was more important than the feelings she was tucking away deep inside of herself. That was what she told herself, and that’s what she needed to keep telling herself in order to keep going.
“Knock knock,” Nancy said. She tapped on the door as well, and peeked her head inside Virginia’s office. Virginia beckoned for her to come in and shut the door.
“Hey Nanc,” Virginia said once the door was closed. There were a few sheets of paper in Nancy’s hand. The life of a fashion designer in demand was never easy, and the work was never done. Virginia couldn’t wait to start whatever it was. She wanted to tackle it and to keep her mind distracted and busy.
“Hey,” Nancy said, putting the papers on the desk that Virginia was seated at. Virginia was rocking from side to side in a swivel chair. She had a pen in her mouth and she was chewing the bottom of it. “Everything ok?”
They hadn’t had a lot of time to talk to each other or go through any personal things since Virginia had come home.
“Fine,” Virginia said. She pulled the pen out of her mouth and gave it a minute of air before shoving it back between her teeth to chomp on it again. Nancy didn’t believe her, but she had some news to share. She was going to have to spill it sometime.
“Julian called.”
Virginia groaned as a response. She didn’t care at all. She wasn’t interested in a single thing that Julian had to say to her.
“When did he call?” Virginia asked. She was even entertaining this conversation because it meant not having to think about work and all of the things she needed to do over the coming weeks.
“Ummm, a lot. While you were away, and twice since this morning,” Nancy said. She cringed a bit, anticipating a snarky remark, but Virginia didn’t say anything. Instead, Virginia shrugged and began looking through the papers that Nancy had put on her desk. “He says he misses you.”
Virginia didn’t budge. She was too engulfed in the task at hand.
“He really wants to talk to you,” Nancy said. She didn’t particularly like Julian, but if Virginia spoke to him then it would give him a reason to stop calling the office. Virginia had blocked his number on her house and cell numbers. The last thing she wanted was to hear a whiny ex try and “work things out” for the “sake of their relationship” when Virginia knew that it was more for the sake of their wallet and their reputation.
“I don’t really wanna talk to him,” Virginia said. She hadn’t looked up from the papers. “Look, I get that he wants this to work, but I’m so done with men like him. I have nothing to offer him, and Julian has nothing to offer me.”
“I think he’s more upset than anything.”
“Upset?”
“Wow, you really have been busy with work huh?” Nancy said. She plunked herself on a chair facing the desk that Virginia was seated at. “Since you haven’t read the news or watched any E! lately, I’ll fill you in. That paparazzi guy saw you break up with Julian that night at the restaurant. There are pics and tapes of you literally paying Julian not to speak to you again, and you laughing wildly and taking some wine with you. The press was saying you had disappeared because of a meltdown. Julian is now the most hated model in the city. He can’t get a job selling foot creams.”
Virginia covered her mouth with both of her hands. In hindsight, her storming out of the restaurant and flinging money at Julian was probably a horrible thing to do- worse if someone else was watching and didn’t know the situation. Now it looked like she paid him off while he scared her off. And since she had so much work to do, it was difficult to clear her name.
“Shit,” was all she could say.
“Right?” Nancy said. “So, what are you gonna do?”
“I don’t know. But I can’t talk to him. You’re gonna have to just apologize on my behalf. I’ll make it right when I’m not so busy, but Julian is the absolute last person I want to see or speak to when I have so much work to do.”
“Yeah, I’ve been telling him that you’re busy. He got all upset because he’s been saying that even when you were busy you used to make time for him. I told him you guys had only been hanging out for like 2 months and he just needed to chillax.”
Virginia couldn’t help but laugh.
“Always taking care of business,” she said. Her smile didn’t last long though. Thoughts of Julian brought up thoughts of Dmitri. Nancy could see the change in her boss’ demeanor and sat up in the armchair. Virginia had only spoken to her about Dmitri once, and that was when she was desperate to speak to him again. Nancy had found the number and given it to Virginia, but she could sense that Virginia had been feeling off since she had been back. She knew that it had something to do with Dmitri.
“Speaking of business, and even though it’s totally unrelated to what I wanna ask, but…whatever happened to that tall pale and handsome Russian guy? Dmitri, I think his name was.”
Virginia felt like she had been in a fog since the last time she saw him, but when Nancy mentioned his name, everything came into focus.
“I got to see him before I left. Well, he came to see me actually. But he basically said that we were part of two different worlds. I don’t know,” Virginia said.
“That sounds like total garbage. Why don’t you call him? Send him an email? Bring him here for a while and just…get to know him.”
“It’s not as easy as that Nanc.”
“The hell it’s not. Here,” Nancy stood and picked up the telephone that was on Virginia’s desk. She handed it to her. “Just call him. What’s the worst that could happen? It’s better than burying yourself with work and pretending like everything’s ok.”
Nancy knew. Nancy always knew, even if she didn’t tell Virginia or if Virginia didn’t tell her. Virginia smiled at her friend, more grateful for her than ever at this moment.
“You can invite him to a state dinner, or one of your runway shows. Tell him to transfer jobs so that you can be together! No pressure right? I can just tell you really liked him.”
After a minute, Virginia finally sighed and gave in.
“Ok…Ok, I’ll call him,” she said. Nancy had already turned around and was walking out of the office.
“You’re welcome!” she called back to her friend before leaving the office and shutting the door behind her.
Virginia never noticed how large her office was until now. There were two desks in it, a lounge area, and a table that could be transformed into a pool table. It was like a business suite at a grand hotel. The size of it made her feel so alone in the space. Nancy was no longer there, but her voice echoed in the crevices, urging Virginia to make the call. Virginia had wanted to make t
he call, but she wasn’t at all sure what it was that she was going to say once she heard his voice. She didn’t want to be turned down again, or worse, to find love over such a long distance.
Virginia searched through her phone for the number of the agency that Dmitri worked at. Without considering the time difference, Virginia held her breath and dialed the number.
After the second ring, a familiar voice answered.
Virginia didn’t know what to say at first. She waited for the third hello before speaking.
“Dmitri?” was all she could think to speak.
“Yes, this is he,” he didn’t recognize her voice, but his was unmistakable. The playful way he spoke and the unique way his accent shifted from Russian to almost Australian. She had to admit even to herself that she missed hearing his voice. It shocked her that just being on the phone with him left her feeling so vulnerable. She had to know what that meant.
“Hello Dmitri, it’s…”
“Ahhh, Virginia.”
She could hear the smile in his voice when he realized that it was her. That made her heart skip and her stomach flutter up to meet it.
“Yes it’s me.”
“Are you back in Russia so soon?”
“Oh. No, I’m not. I just wanted to call you. I wanted to see if everything with you was well,” she felt stiff. She didn’t know how to be without looking into his piercing dark eyes. The emptiness she had been feeling all week had resurfaced. It pushed the butterflies in her stomach back down, and now all she could feel was longing.
“Everything is fine. It’s a good thing you caught me. I was just about to leave for the day. Are you well?”
“Yeah, I’ve just been crazy busy here. A lot of shows and a lot going on.”
“I’m happy to know you had some time to get in touch with me,” Dmitri said. He was so sweet. She would spend the whole morning and afternoon on the phone with him if she could, even if she was at a loss for words.
“I really liked our time together. It was brief, but I had such a good time.”
“I liked spending time with you as well. I still reminisce from time to time. What was your favorite part?”
“To be honest, my favorite part was being in your arms,” Virginia said boldly. This sounded more like her. Letting him know how she felt may have proved to show how vulnerable she was prepared to be, but it also reminded her that she was always able to let someone know what it was that was on her mind.
“We share the same favorite paintings and favorite moments then,” Dmitri said after some time. Virginia couldn’t look at his face to even guess what it was that he could be thinking. She hoped that the long pause was because he was smiling, or searching for the right words to say to her. She wanted him to be as seemingly flustered as she had been whenever he had spoken to her and taken her breath away.
“I actually have a lot of work to do,” Virginia said, trying to casually play off the moment. She was giddy, almost intoxicated by the thought of being near Dmitri again. “But I have a few launches and shows coming up. You could maybe come to New York and take a look into my world. It’s the least I could do for having been allowed the chance at having a brief glimpse into yours.”
“I would like that very much Virginia, but I’m afraid that I can’t. I have a lot of work of my own. My agency wouldn’t allow it.”
“Maybe you could transfer to an agency over here,” Virginia didn’t care how silly she was sounding now. She knew she wanted to see him again without it having to do with work. She wanted to get to know him, and she could feel that he wanted the same thing.
“If I try to leave over the next year, then I’ll be fired. I am under a contract. As good as it would be to see you; I’m not sure that I can live off my paintings alone. I need this job to sustain myself. I wish they were more lenient, but I know they won’t be. Thank you for the invitation, but the only way I could be allowed to stay in your country without my work permit would be to get married,” he said.
Dmitri’s voice wasn’t as pleasant as it normally was. It sounded the way Virginia felt…defeated. The only bit of sunshine in the way that he sounded was at the prospect of marriage. But there was no way that he was serious…was there?
“Oh? You’d need to marry an American and your contract would be over?” Virginia asked more to herself than to him. It was such a far leap from where she was expecting her thoughts and the conversation to go. The idea of marrying someone she barely knew sounded so far fetched, but the idea of being close to Dmitri sounded like a dream coming true.
“Yes, that’s how it works. It’s quite a tricky situation. I wish there was more that could be done. A chance to be around you would be lovely,” he was flattering her.
They spoke politely for a few minutes, but neither of them pressed the issue of wanting to be close to the other enough to consider getting married. They were both feeling it, and they knew that the other was too. It was a different sort of happiness mixed with a different sort of pain. They were at an impasse, and neither was sure just what the other one felt or what they were willing to do in order to be closer to each other.
Virginia had so much in her life going for her, but the one thing she wanted most was eluding her. She had a gorgeous face and figure, unusual hazel eyes, beautiful chocolate skin, a personality that everyone wanted to be around, a warm smile, her own growing business, and all the money in the world. But right now, none of that mattered. None of it seemed important. The only thing she felt was worth offering were the stories she had to tell, and the world she could share with the only someone that she had a genuine connection with.
“I’m so sorry to cut this short, beautiful Virginia. I was on my way out when you called, and I can’t take up the company line. I’d like to keep in touch. I can take your number, and we can chat when we’re both free…and when we’re both awake,” Dmitri chortled a bit at his joke.
“I’d really like that,” Virginia said. She took down Dmitri’s number, and gave him hers as well.
“Goodbye Dmitri.”
“Good morning, Virginia,” he sang into the phone. “Thanks again for reaching out to me.”
“I’m glad I did. It’s so good to hear your voice,” Virginia said. She didn’t want the sound of his voice to go away, but he had said one more goodbye and hung up the phone. After all of that effort, she only felt a little better. It was as if she had dipped her finger to taste test the icing, but she would never know what even a slice of the actual cake was like.
She knew what she had to do. It was time to go back to burying herself in more work.
*****
Virginia had spent the last two days without interacting with anyone. She came into the building early and met with fellow designers and clients, and then later locked herself away in her office to finalize some important deals. She normally went out for lunch, but for the whole week she decided to order some food and stay locked in her office. Her excuse was that she was too swamped to have time for anything other than all the work that she needed to do. Even though that was true, she also wanted to avoid other energies in her space. She was only prepared to handle herself and her own thoughts now. There was already too much going on around her, and now so much going on within her that taking on anything more would make her want to spend the rest of the week at home. She’d just let her team know that she would be working, and she knew that she would be; she was a workaholic after all. But today she wanted to take on just as much as she could and no more. She needed to relax her mind so that she had a chance to process everything that was going on around her. She wanted to be able to think and really focus on her work. She didn’t know what doing a bad job meant. It was either give it her all or…no, there was no other option for a woman like Virginia Maxwell.
“Sorry to bug you, V.”
Virginia was so enthralled by the work she was doing that she didn’t even notice Nancy had stepped into her office. Nancy had a cup of coffee in one hand and some papers with designs and color
palettes on them. Virginia didn’t mind that there was more work to be done. It was more things for her to tackle without having to think about Dmitri.
Virginia held out her hands so that Nancy wouldn’t have to put the pages on the desk. She had been working diligently, and she was sure she would get all of this work done by the end of the day. Nancy handed her the papers and set the coffee down on the desk. Nancy bringing coffee in the afternoon meant that it wasn’t decaf, which also meant that they were in for a long night.
“So, how did it go with Dmitri?” Nancy said. Virginia frowned. Normally they would joke about Nancy purposely walking in for one thing when she was really there to get some juicy gossip, but Virginia’s mind was elsewhere, and she really wasn’t in the mood. Nancy frowned too when she saw the look on Virginia’s face.
“It’s obviously something that won’t work out,” Virginia said.
“Wow, V. This guy must have really done a number on you. I’ve never seen you get this upset over someone before. Did he hurt you? Do I have to fly there myself and kick his ass?” Nancy had walked around the desk to comfort her boss and best friend.
She was right. Virginia didn’t remember ever feeling this way from rejection before. There was something about Dmitri that made her think about him all the time.
How was it that she felt so strongly about someone after just one day together?
Virginia responded with a weak smile. She shook her head to let Nancy know that Dmitri hadn’t hurt her, but she was still hurt nonetheless.
“He’s under a contract. I wouldn’t be able to see him for another year unless…” Virginia paused. She wasn’t sure it was wise to talk about something so ludicrous.
“Unless?” Nancy urged her to continue.
“Unless we get married,” Virginia said. She closed her eyes when she spoke the words and did a sort of wince. She didn’t know how Nancy would react. The fact that she was even contemplating it made her wince last a bit longer.
Take My Hand: BWWM Romance Page 20