by Debbie Mason
He looked at her and coughed, a deep, wet sound.
“It’s okay. Don’t worry about it. I’ll just be a minute,” she said over her shoulder as she hurried up the walkway. Before she opened the door, she pinched her cheeks and smoothed her hair. She wouldn’t let them see how hurt she was that they’d all plotted behind her back to send her father away. She couldn’t let them know how angry she was at Griffin for orchestrating the whole thing either. They wouldn’t give her his number if they knew.
Drawing in a deep breath through her nose, she opened the door. Of course the first person she ran into was Jasper. He didn’t notice her right away. He was talking to Simon, nudging the cat away with the edge of his black shoe. She opened her mouth to tell him he shouldn’t be shooing Simon away like that, but closed it in hopes she could sneak by him. She’d make it up to Simon later. Ava turned to head for her cousin’s office.
“Miss DiRossi.”
She swallowed a groan, stopping to face him. “Yes?”
He blinked, an emotion she couldn’t read crossing his face. “Sophie is showing Mr. St. John around. Is there something I can help you with?”
“Thank you, but I’ll just wait in her office if that’s all right.”
“Quite.” He hesitated and then approached. “Perhaps you would like to”—he removed a starched white handkerchief from the breast pocket of his black suit and handed it to her—“clean up a bit. Your mascara—”
“Is it all over my face?” she asked, self-consciously bringing the handkerchief to her cheek. The odd look the cabbie had given her when she’d jumped in his car now made sense.
“No, just…Here, allow me.” He gently removed the handkerchief from her hand.
Ava didn’t know why—maybe because Jasper had never said so much as a single kind word to her before now—but a tear rolled down her cheek. “They took my father away today,” she said as a way of explaining the emotions she couldn’t seem to get under control.
“Yes, I know. I’m sorry,” he said, holding her chin to dab at her cheeks. It reminded her of something her father would have done when she was a child, and her bottom lip quivered as she tried to keep the tears at bay. “Come now, there’s no need to cry. Your father will be home before you know it, miss.”
She gave her head a tiny shake. “They don’t think I can care for him. They think it’s my fault he hasn’t gotten better. It’s my fault he tried to…he tried to kill himself.” She told this man who’d never been a friend what she hadn’t told anyone else. The thing that hurt most. Her father had tried to take his own life. She’d tried convincing herself it had been an accident, a mistake. He was drunk and not thinking clearly. But she’d been fooling herself. Dr. Bishop was right. She’d enabled her father, and now even Gino didn’t want her. At the thought, a sob broke in her throat, and she started to cry.
Jasper drew her awkwardly into his arms and patted her back. “There, there now,” he murmured.
Seconds later, Ava found herself wrapped in another pair of arms. There was nothing awkward about the way this man held her. She should have felt uncomfortable, anxious that a tall, powerfully built man, a man she didn’t know, was holding her so close, so intimately. She didn’t. She felt like she’d come home. And there was only one man who’d ever made her feel that way.
She lifted her head and met her ex-husband’s indigo gaze. “What are you doing here? I thought you left weeks ago,” she said, at the same time thinking she’d completely lost her mind.
Because instead of staring into that beautiful, familiar face, she should be pushing him away, yelling at him for the part he’d played in all of this. Yet she couldn’t bring herself to move from his warm, comforting embrace.
“We can talk about that later. Right now, I want—”
Someone cleared their throat. “Master Griffin, perhaps Miss Ava would be more comfortable in the study.”
Oh God, she’d broken down in the entrance to Greystone, right there for everyone to see. She did a face-plant into Griffin’s chest, making an embarrassed sound in her throat.
Griffin stepped back and put an arm around her shoulders. “Do me a favor and bring a pot of coffee to the study, Jeeves.”
“No, I should go. I have a taxi waiting for me.” Ava couldn’t borrow money from him. She was already in his debt for something she didn’t even want—a debt she no doubt couldn’t afford to pay.
“You mean the cabbie I just paid? He’s long gone.”
She took in his brown leather jacket and boots. The two large, black duffel bags off to the side. He must have come in when she was crying in Jasper’s arms. Heat rose to her cheeks. “Why did you—”
“You were here to speak to Sophie, miss. I’ll let her know you’re awaiting her in the study,” Jasper intervened, reminding Ava of why she’d come here in the first place. Only the man she’d planned to call was standing right here in the flesh, all six-foot-four gorgeous inches of him. She wished he wasn’t looking at her with an expression that softened the strong, chiseled angles of his face. It made it difficult to remember why she was mad at him.
He’d always had that effect on her. They’d be fighting about something, and then she’d look at him, and he’d look at her and say, “Why are we wasting time arguing about this shit? I love you. Nothing else matters.” That’s what it always came back to—they loved each other.
They weren’t them anymore, the boy and girl who thought their love could withstand anything. Back then, the world could have fallen down around them and they wouldn’t have noticed. But Griffin no longer loved her. And right now, it felt like her world had imploded, and he was partially to blame. If he hadn’t confronted her father in the ballroom that day and then made arrangements for Gino at the rehab center, her life would have gone back to normal.
Ava moved away from him and touched Jasper’s arm. “Thank you.” She hoped she managed to convey how much she appreciated his earlier kindness. She glanced at Griffin. “I need to speak with you.”
“Thought you might,” he said as he followed her down the hall. “Rosa called me.”
Ava stopped outside the study door to stare at him. “Why does my aunt have your number?”
“Why do you think?” he asked, a wealth of meaning behind his words. He opened the door, ushering her inside.
“Because it wasn’t enough you accused my father of abusing me? You couldn’t leave it alone.” She took a seat.
He angled the other chair toward her and sat down. He didn’t say anything, just looked at her.
Feeling uncomfortable under the weight of his steady gaze, she crossed her arms. After so many years apart, so many years of loving him from afar, it was difficult not to fall into old habits. She had to remind herself that he didn’t share her feelings.
He leaned over and carefully uncrossed her arms. “You shouldn’t do that.”
“My arm’s fine,” she said, though she didn’t recross them because he was right. The movement had caused a dull ache to travel from her elbow to her wrist.
“Really. So why are you still wearing a brace?”
She opened her mouth to tell him because the doctor said she had to. He stood up, and she frowned. “That’s it? You’re just going to look at me and leave without explaining why you had my father put away?”
He raised an eyebrow and walked to the door, opening it for Jasper. Obviously he’d heard what she hadn’t. It wasn’t a surprise given his training with the SEALs. Griffin was always on alert. He noticed things before anyone else did, the slightest movement and sound, the minute changes in a person’s facial expressions and body language. He was a hard man to fool. Something she needed to remember.
Griffin accepted a silver tray that held a plate of cookies and a pot of coffee from Jasper. “Thanks, Jeeves.”
Setting the tray on the desk, Griffin glanced at her. “To answer your first question, I gave Rosa my number when you and I split up.”
She blinked, the news catching her off guard. When Griffin was done, he
was done. Or so she’d thought. For weeks, he’d tried everything possible to change her mind, and then he’d just stopped. He’d never contacted her again.
He poured her a coffee, adding sugar and cream, then handed her the mug. “Don’t look so surprised.”
“I don’t understand why you would—”
“Don’t even go there. You knew I was still in love with you back then, that I was worried about you.” Taking a seat, he cradled his own mug in his big hands. “I shouldn’t have called your father out in front of everyone. I’m sorry that I did. I can’t take back what happened, Ava. I wish I could. But don’t expect an apology from me for suggesting Doc Bishop look at the rehab center.”
Most of what he said floated over her head. She was stuck on his I was still in love with you. She wasn’t surprised he’d still loved her back then. It was his use of the past tense that grabbed her attention and wouldn’t let go. Which was silly since he’d obviously moved on from her years before.
How many times had she reminded herself these past few weeks that he didn’t love her? Too many times to count. But then he’d do something like buy her shoes, overreact to the bruise on her arm, look at her like he used to, hold her like he had only moments ago. They didn’t feel like the actions of someone who didn’t care. They made her wonder if he still had feelings for her.
And for some reason, the thought that he might made it easier to forgive him. No matter how misguided or hurtful the outcome had been, Griffin had been trying to protect her. He’d always been fiercely protective of those he loved. In his place, she probably would have done the same.
“Honey, are you okay?”
The endearment warmed her, soothing the lingering resentment at what his interference had cost. “I’m sorry I yelled at you at the hospital. You risked your life for my father that night. You didn’t deserve my anger; you deserved my thanks. I am grateful, Griffin.”
He cocked his head and his mouth lifted at the corner. “But…”
“No, no but…Okay, maybe a small one.” He smiled, the dimple she loved deepening in his cheek. “It wasn’t fair that you all went behind my back. I didn’t deserve to be blindsided like that this morning. To have Dr. Bishop, Rosa, and Dorothy threaten to go before Judge Monahan and have my aunt named my father’s conservator if I didn’t agree to their health-care plan.”
His smile faded. “Hold on. All I did was recommend the rehabilitation center and smooth the way for Gino with Adam. What exactly happened today?”
When she finished telling him, he gave his head an angry shake. “No way did I have anything to do with that. It’s bullshit. They can’t—”
“It’s okay. My father wasn’t upset. He wanted to go.” She dropped her gaze, tears welling in her eyes as she recalled the conversation with her father.
She sensed Griffin rising to his feet and heard him placing his mug on the desk. And then he was there, crouched in front of her. He took her mug, setting it on the floor before he gently smoothed the rough pads of his fingers over her cheek. “You know it kills me to see you cry.”
“Still?” she murmured without looking at him.
“Yeah, looks like,” he said, sounding as though the admission cost him.
A tiny flicker of hope ignited inside her. She smothered it, unwilling to put herself in the position of being disappointed. She didn’t think her heart could withstand another blow today.
“I know you did more than smooth the way for my father, Griffin. I don’t believe Gino’s monthly pension checks and insurance will come close to covering the cost. I need to know what I owe you. I doubt I can pay it all at once, though, so maybe we could come up with a monthly payment plan?”
At her suggestion, a muscle pulsed in his clenched jaw, and his eyes narrowed. She was familiar with that look. It didn’t bode well for her repayment plan. And maybe because of that small hope that refused to be denied, she raised her hand to trace his stubbled jaw with her finger. “You know that look always annoyed me,” she said, thinking back to how long it had been since she’d touched him this way.
“Yeah, and you always knew how to get rid of it. Never could hold out against you for long.” His eyes darkened as though remembering their standoffs always ended in bed.
“What are we doing?” she whispered, the heat in his eyes weakening her resolve. She had to know if it was just her imagination. She’d deal with the consequences later.
“I—”
The study door swung open, and her cousin rushed in. “Ava, are—Oh, I…” Sophie’s gaze moved from Griffin to Ava. “Am I interrupting?”
Griffin rose to his feet, and Ava didn’t know if it was relief or regret she saw on his face.
He glanced at his watch. “I better get going. I have to meet up with Sully.”
Ah, so it had been relief after all, she thought, fighting to keep the disappointment from showing on her face.
Sophie smiled, stepping in front of Griffin as he walked to the door. “Welcome home,” she said, giving him a hug. “We’re so glad you took the job.”
“Job?” Ava asked, and there it was again, hope. Only this time it came out in her voice.
Griffin turned with his hand on the doorknob. “Sully offered me a job with the Coast Guard. Thought it was about time I came home.” He held her gaze. “We’ll talk later. If you need me, call.”
Sophie stared at her, openmouthed. “He…You.” Sophie found her voice and looked from the door to Ava. “What did I just interrupt?”
“I’m not sure,” she murmured, glad she was sitting, otherwise her legs might have given out.
Sophie looked at her more closely and winced. “Nonna called. I’m so sorry, Ava. I should have told you. We’ve just been so worried about you that it seemed like the best possible solution for you and Uncle Gino.”
“Maybe it will be. I don’t know anymore. I’m confused about a lot of things.”
Sophie rested her hip against the desk. “When Jasper said you wanted to speak to me, I thought you were going to yell at me or disown me. Nonna and Dorothy are afraid you’ll never speak to them again.”
“I know. I’ll call them later,” she said, her mind occupied with the promise she’d made to her father. She wasn’t sure how she felt about it. Then again, she wasn’t sure about much right now. She felt a little like a rudderless boat lost at sea. Maybe taking over the restaurant at the manor was a good idea. One more change. One more way to anchor herself and take her life back. The added income would be helpful too.
Whether Griffin wanted her to or not, she was paying him back. It wouldn’t be hard to find out the true cost of the rehab center. She took a deep breath, straightened in the chair, and smiled at her cousin. “I have some news I think will make you happy. I’ll take over the kitchen. I’m not promising anything, but if it goes well, I’ll think about leasing the space. We’ll give it a couple months to see how it works.”
Ava frowned when her cousin simply stared at her. She’d expected Sophie to be at least a little excited. It had been her idea, after all. But she looked to be on the verge of tears…or was it laughter? “Why are you looking at me like that? You’re getting your wish, aren’t you? I can cater the bridal fair like you wanted me—”
A man wearing skintight black pants and a silky, purple-and-black paisley shirt swanned into the study. He posed with one hand on his hip and one turned out. “Zee castle is magnifeco. Zee kitchen, comme ci, comme ca.” He moved his hand back and forth. “Zee Helga woman must go. Zee chat too.” As though just noticing Ava, he tossed his dark, heavy bang as if he were in a shampoo commercial. “Qui etes-vous?”
He may be wondering who Ava was, but she had an uneasy feeling she knew exactly who he was. She looked to Sophie for confirmation. Her cousin gave her a pleading look at the same time saying, “Gaston, this is my cousin Ava. She, ah, works at the manor. Ava, Gaston has—”
“Monsieur Gaston St. John at your service. I am zee manor’s new head chef.”
“Does he ex
pect Ava to kiss his hand or shake it?” Colleen said to Simon from her perch on the windowsill in the study. “And what is with the zee nonsense? If that boy is French, I’ll eat my Easter bonnet. What?” she said when Simon looked up at her. “Easter bonnets were quite the thing in my day. I’ll show you my…I don’t like how he’s looking at you, Tomcat. Come on, let’s find Jasper and see if we can get the goods on this Gaston fella.”
Colleen hopped off the windowsill and walked toward the door. She stopped beside Ava. “Chin up, my girl. I’m on the job. I’ll make sure everything works out for you. Griffin is home now. And after what I saw going on between you two in here, it’s only a matter of time before you’re back together.”
She narrowed her eyes at the new chef. “There’s something familiar about you, Monsieur Gaston St. John. My memory might not be what it used to be, but I’ll figure it out. Of that you can be certain.”
Jasper looked up from polishing the round entryway table and sighed. “Not again.” He glanced around as though checking to be sure they were alone. “Madame, you can call off your familiar.”
Colleen snorted. “Witches have familiars, and I’m not a…” She put her hands on her hips. “I don’t find you amusing, my boy.”
“If you’re here to pester me about your memoirs, you can forget about it. I’m not giving them back. They’re dangerous. And no, I didn’t read them. That would be dishonorable, and I am an honorable man. I’ve locked them away for safekeeping.”
“Well, you may have a point. But not where Ava is concerned. She and Griffin are getting closer. If they’re going to make this work, he needs to know about Damien.” Jasper got back to his polishing, ignoring her, which was easy because of course he couldn’t see or hear her.
She blew on the table, smiling when a white mark appeared.
He polished over the mark.
“You’re a hardhead,” she groused. “But your heart is in the right place. I saw you with Ava. You felt sorry for the girl today, and rightly so. She needs our help, Jasper.” He stood back from the table to admire his handiwork. Obviously, she wasn’t going to get anywhere with him. She’d have to recover the book on her own. It had to be somewhere in his room. Colleen started to walk away. “Come on, Simon. We…” She turned at the chef’s approach.