I shrugged. He came after me then, his hand raised to hit me, but I didn’t flinch. I thought about how bruised the boy in the trunk had been and figured I could take just this one for him.
But then he stopped. I don’t know why. And then he stared at me like he could see right through me—to this day, I believe he could but Bish told me I gave him too much credit. But at that time, I just kept thinking about what Dad said, to put up a shield to protect you from your enemies. How I had the evil eye amulet in my pocket.
He cursed, stormed across the porch, intent on opening the trunk and then the trunk and that’s when I heard the shotgun echo in the front yard. The big Indian froze and I knew Dad was sending him a message...
I swear I could feel the boy in the trunk praying. The big Indian finally left, shaking a fist at me. He’d been as silent as I was—worse though, because for all his strength and size, he never made a sound coming or going.
When I let Bish out, he was shaking, but the tears had stopped. I handed him the amulet—he still has it to this day—but I also tattooed it on him, just in case, about five years later. I grabbed the salt and, with Bish there, I made the sign of the cross on the ground with salt. I was already signing with one hand, like Bish could understand me.
He did.
“And then what happened?” Jessa asked.
After that, Bish stayed for dinner. And overnight. And for breakfast. And he basically never left, not for very long anyway.
That’s when I finally stopped typing and looked up at Jessa. She had tears in her eyes but she said fiercely, “You’re a good man, Mathias. You were born that way. So was Bishop.”
I kissed her, letting my mouth linger on hers for a second with a kiss that was more of a thank-you than anything. But the passion flared between us the way it had from the start.
Chapter Thirteen
So we cheated and we lied and we tested
Jessa
The next morning, Bishop brought me and Mathias breakfast. The first thing Mathias did when Bishop entered was to sign something, but Bishop was already staring at me when he said, “You think I can’t tell that she knows? Look how she’s looking at me.”
I blinked and realized I must’ve been wearing my heart on my sleeve for both of them, but Bishop didn’t sound angry, merely resigned. And then the subject was dropped and that was it. I knew, probably part of a very small group who did. And the three of us ate together, with candles instead of generator-powered lights.
“Defiance conserves as much as they can,” Bishop explained. “They’ve got a system worked out.”
Rain pattered the roof, but it was a regular rain and nothing like the storm from the other day. But it was still damp and cold and I was grateful for the heavy sweatshirt and jeans Tru had left. There were other clothes for me as well, and as I’d gone through them this morning I’d wondered how long I’d be staying here. But I didn’t want reality to continue rearing its ugly head and ruining things for me. Not when I had good food, good coffee...and not when I’d woken up next to Mathias.
There was a quick, decisive knock at the door and then Caspar was opening it without waiting. He walked across the room in his heavy black boots and asked, “You okay?”
It took me a second to realize he was asking me. I was taken aback, because even though I knew he was nothing like the head of the Lords, it still surprised me. I managed to nod, afraid I couldn’t find my voice. Plus, he looked scary, and even though it was in that movie-star bad-boy way—especially with the scar on his cheek and the icy blue eyes—I knew that he was as lethal as the men I sat with. And I also knew he had the authority in Defiance to turn me over to Keller or the LoV or my parents.
Mathias squeezed my thigh under the table as if he knew what I’d been thinking, then signed to Caspar who said, “Understandable.”
I guess Caspar understood sign language because Bishop didn’t translate. I didn’t ask what Mathias had said about me, because the look in his eyes was warm when he did so.
Mathias signed again and Caspar nodded, then said to me, “I’m going to talk to Charlie now. It would help if you’d listen in when I do, let me know if he’s telling the truth or lying. He won’t know you’re there, unless you want him to see you.”
Charlie was always in the back of my mind. I wasn’t worried about him, but rather, I was worried about what would happen if Defiance cut him loose. I was worried that the Secret Service would break the gates down to save him and destroy the only place I wanted to be. “I’ll listen, but I don’t know if I want to talk to him myself.”
I’ll stay with you, whether or not you decide to talk to him. Mathias’s words, Bishop’s voice. Mathias’s hand was still on my thigh and I reached out to hold it when I said, “Okay. But what are you going to do with him...I mean...?”
“Know what you mean, Jessa,” was all Caspar said, and motioned for me to follow him. I did, with Mathias and Bishop at my sides, until we walked back into the old warehouse.
It was bustling now, not quiet like the other night. But being here still gave me the same sense of peace.
Caspar left the door to the room where Charlie was being held partially open and Mathias and I stood behind it. I wasn’t ready to see Charlie again and the way my body reacted—a giant shiver—just on hearing his voice told me I’d done the right thing.
You’re okay, Mathias mouthed to me, just as Charlie bit out, “Where’s Jessa?”
“I’m askin’ the questions.”
“And who are you?”
“Name’s Caspar. I’m president of the Defiance MC.”
“Good for you. I’m the next president of the United States,” Charlie shot back. “Maybe now you can unchain me and we can talk.”
“Talkin’ now.”
I stared at Mathias, who in turn stared at the door like he had X-ray vision. If he’d gone in there, there would’ve been more fists than conversation.
“Did you not hear who I am?” Charlie demanded.
“Know who you are. Also know you were selling Jessa to Keller’s mafia.”
“They drugged me. I didn’t know what I was saying,” Charlie protested. “Where is Jessa? What did you all do with her?”
There was a long pause on Caspar’s end and Charlie spoke again. “Dammit, tell me if she’s okay.”
“Tell me what’ll happen if we get word for your father to come get you?”
“What do you think? I’ll tell them I was kidnapped. First by the Lords of Vengeance, and then by you. You need to contact my father. If it’s money you want, he’ll pay.”
“I want to know why you’re in bed with Keller and the LoV.”
“Jessa and I were kidnapped by that gang.” Charlie’s voice held just the right amount of anguish. “Look, please, is Jessa okay? I’ve been worried.”
“She’s fine.”
“I want to see her with my own eyes. That’s the only way I’ll believe it.”
“You’re not callin’ the shots. And I’m not callin’ your father,” Caspar said.
“Then what?” Charlie asked. “You can’t just keep me here.”
“Kinda can. Kinda will.” Caspar was so wholly unimpressed with Charlie. That rarely happened. In fact, this might actually be the first time someone didn’t get taken in by his charisma or be so scared of his pedigree that they’d agree to anything.
But that hadn’t happened with the LoV. Which was odd, because no one from that motorcycle club seemed as sure of themselves as Caspar was. Which meant Charlie hadn’t been trying to escape.
Which meant...
“Did you tell the LoV to call your father too?” Caspar asked.
“Of course.”
“How’d Keller get involved?”
“I don’t know.”
A strange sensation began in my
belly. At first, it was a small pit and then it grew until my entire body trembled. I looked up at Mathias and mouthed, He knew. He planned the whole kidnapping.
Mathias turned to gaze at me sharply. His mouth opened a little and then he nodded in agreement.
“Why?”
Mathias mouthed back, Ask him.
But Caspar was a step ahead of me, asking Charlie, “You really think paying the LoV to kidnap you would work? Hell, politicians and the mob’ve been in each other’s pockets for years.”
“My family will take you down—with Keller’s help. I saw everything,” Charlie shot back. I could only imagine his face when he realized what he’d said...and how that made him a liability to everyone. Including himself. “Where’s Jessa? I want to see her.”
“Not sure she wants to see you,” was all Caspar said before he left the room and shut the door behind him.
Insane in the brain
Mathias
Caspar hadn’t needed Jessa to know that Charlie was lying, but he’d wanted her to see it for herself. It was an effective plan, and it rattled her badly. But hey, better to rip off the bandage quickly. The other choice was to let her continue to think that, up until Charlie’d tried to sell her, he hadn’t been in on the whole damned thing.
I hadn’t believed that for a second.
Caspar wisely didn’t question Jessa at all, but rather told her, “We can talk about it later. Mathias and Bishop, walk her back, okay? I’ve got some other shit to take care of.”
Jessa had nodded woodenly and Bish and I walked with her back to the guesthouse. She walked slowly, like she had the weight of the world on her shoulders. It was only once we were back inside the guesthouse that she asked, “Why is Keller so important?”
He controls a lot of shit. Food. Gas. Bish translated for me, then added, “Basically, he’s got us over a barrel.”
“But he’s gotten along with Defiance up till now?”
“It’s complicated. Has to do with the former leaders and the businesses Defiance is in. But the old leader—his son promised Keller a bigger cut in return for Defiance’s protection techniques. Caspar didn’t want that. Keller’s pissed,” Bish explained.
“Could he cut off Defiance’s food and gasoline?” she asked and I nodded. “And I brought this on a lot faster than it might’ve been.”
You brought on nothing. The fierceness of my feelings came through with Bish’s words. You’re not taking the blame for a feud that’s been brewing forever.
I could tell she didn’t believe me though, not fully. There wasn’t much I could do to change her mind as of yet.
* * *
Two hours later I was back with Caspar, signing, I want to tell Keller.
“Figured you might.” Caspar rubbed his hands together as he watched me carefully. I’d left Jessa sleeping, with Rebel watching the house, and I’d called for a meeting with Caspar. “You think it’s better that way.”
So do you.
“Tellin’ me how I feel now?”
I nodded and behind me, Bish sighed and muttered, “Dangerous ground, brother.”
No other way to live.
“And after you go tellin’ what you both did to his men—and the LoV’s men—what’re you plannin’ next?” Caspar asked.
I’ll take the consequences. It’s not Defiance’s fault. It’s mine.
“Shit, Mathias, you’re not in this alone,” Bish told me.
I know that. But Keller’s getting suspicious. We’re their next stop. Might as well take advantage of it.
“You think I’m selling you out, fuck that,” Caspar told me. “But you’re right—there’s no reason to keep hiding the inevitable.”
I had no doubt that Caspar had been planning for this—he knew how my mind worked.
“So we invite them in,” Caspar continued and I nodded.
Keller doesn’t know Charlie survived. And he never has to, unless we need him to.
It was Caspar’s turn to nod. “I guess we’re due for a fight. I’ll invite the Kill Devils too. Kian’s in town anyway.”
Whether Caspar called Kian in for backup specifically for Keller or if it was a coincidence entirely that he was already there, we wouldn’t know. But hell, the more people on our side when the shit went down, the better.
I shook Caspar’s hand. He looked at me like he wanted to say something else, but he didn’t.
I knew what it was—he’d stopped asking me and Bish about joining the MC a while ago. We were still here, and that bothered the older generation, but not as much as the fact that Caspar had taken over Defiance. If we allowed ourselves to be initiated in, that would go a long way in proving to that generation, and to the rest of Defiance, that we were behind them as a whole and that we weren’t just Caspar’s rogue team.
Bish and I walked out the back of the clubhouse and headed over to the small clearing that overlooked what used to be Lance’s house. There was a small spotlight over there, since it backed up to the diner also, and we stopped and sat on the grass for a while.
I was going over the upcoming fight in my head already, even though it was days away. I’d do it constantly until the minute the fight actually happened.
“There’s another fight tomorrow over in Cumberland,” Bish said finally. “Good practice.”
We both knew I didn’t need the practice as much as I needed to blow off steam. I also needed the money and so I nodded. Set it up.
“I will.” He paused and then told me, “Comes down to this—if you want to keep Jessa safe, we’re better off staying in Defiance and getting initiated into the MC.”
I stared at him for a long moment. He was right, I knew that, but I also knew he hated being backed into a corner as much as I did. I was the one who pushed you to come here.
“It was a good choice, Mathias. I know how you feel about staying in one place though.”
I didn’t want any more attachments. I had to give that shit up because of the Chaos and I never wanted that level of attachment again.
“What the fuck am I?”
That’s different.
“How?”
Because you’re me.
Bish stared at me and smiled. It was true, somehow. We were connected, like twins born to different mothers. He knew me better than he knew himself and vice versa. When he got hurt, I could feel it. Just like I could feel his attraction to Luna.
Just like he could feel mine for Jessa.
Chapter Fourteen
Try and test that, you’re bound to get served
Jessa
The storms were starting again and the Defiance compound was getting that strangely deserted feel. I looked out the window of the guesthouse and rubbed my arms as the wind picked up through the half-opened window. Even though it was cold outside, I liked the feeling of knowing there was still an outside. That’s what three years of living underground did for someone.
I’d been here for four days, so I hadn’t expected to feel like I was a part of this club. But I’d wanted to feel a part of something, and that familiar ache hurt less than I’d expected it to. Probably because, around Mathias, I didn’t feel like an outsider.
I shut the window and locked it, moved to the center of the house, where the bed was, protected by strong walls and no windows, and prepared to wait out the storm alone.
I was wrapped up in a blanket, reading by candlelight—Tru had left me several romance novels and they reminded me of home, but in a good way. I used to find them in the back of my mother’s closet. She’d only put out the books that people deemed important, but they’d never looked as well used, or well loved, as her paperbacks.
There was a brief knock and Mathias was inside before I could call out, “Come in.” He was soaked, stood dripping on the floor.
“I
thought maybe you were fighting again,” I said lamely.
Not tonight, he mouthed and signed simultaneously. His pinkie was still bandaged and I saw the thin white bandages still above his left brow.
Bishop came in behind him. Mathias signed and Bishop translated. I figured you might not want to be alone.
“I didn’t.”
“I’m not staying long. But I brought food,” Bishop added, holding up a box covered in plastic to protect it from the rain. He and Mathias stripped down to their underwear so their clothes could dry and we ate on the bed, listening to the storm.
I didn’t mind having Bishop around at all. He was a part of Mathias and I liked how close they were. They made me feel comfortable at a time when nothing else was. And Bishop didn’t seem to judge the fact that Mathias and I had formed a quick and solid bond.
Time moved slowly post-Chaos. There wasn’t an awful lot to do anymore, nowhere to rush, no cell phones or Twitter to take up all our time. It was like someone came in and shut a switch and for a while, it was like living in a zombie state. It was so quiet—for some, too quiet, I noticed—but I actually didn’t mind it. Except for the noise in my head, it would’ve been perfect.
At least that’s what I told myself. Now, I realized how much I’d missed having people around. How much I’d missed that for most of my life, having grown up in the quiet of properness.
Sure, there were scandals and parties, especially on Charlie’s end, but wealth and privilege bought a lot of silence. I didn’t get in trouble a lot, because who my father was going to become was drilled into me. And then, after my first suicide attempt, I was homeschooled, which solved a lot of potential publicity problems for them.
The last time I’d tried to kill myself had been the most serious. One minute, I was recovering from slashing my wrists and the next, I was being considered for Charlie’s wife. It meant I’d have to be groomed. It meant that the medicine the doctors gave me would be too heavy for me to fight anything.
“At some point, we’re going to pull this all together,” my father told me during the most serious sit-down we’d had to date. “You’re not only securing your own future, but ours as well. There’s no more elections—the president and I will stay in office indefinitely, and you and Charlie will be groomed to be the next in line. But you’re going to have to do things differently, Jessa.”
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