by Christina Li
“Thank you, Daddy. I know you tried your best, and I let you down. But Daddy, all of those years, I didn’t really need your expertise. Not that I didn’t want it. You and Mama are the best of the best. I sometimes found it fascinating all the things you’d come share with me, and how you wanted me to have the same love for mitochondria, and DNA, and phenotypes as you and mom, and academics, how I should study hard and strive harder, to win all of those science awards and extra things at school, and I know I tuned you out Daddy, and I wish Daddy, oh how I wish that I followed after you and Mamma harder, and how I wish I did the things you said, oh how I wish I did, Daddy, but all those years Daddy, I didn’t want your structures or lectures, or your directions in an email, or you lecturing me on Skype while you and Mama were half way around the world studying some bug, I just wanted YOU Daddy, I just wanted YOU. I just wanted time with YOU.”
Vanessa was shaking by the time she had finished. She hugged her knees in close, and looked down from the computer screen. Grandma gently rested both hands on Vanessa’s shoulders in a gesture of comfort.
Her mom moved slowly on the screen. She raised her right arm, bringing it to rest on her husband’s right shoulder. Her left came up to her face to wipe away the tears that started rolling down her cheeks. “I’m so sorry Baby… I’m so sorry,” was all she could manage, she momentarily reached out toward the screen as if trying to touch her daughter through it. Vanessa’s left hand came up in reflex toward the image of her mom’s hand, then both mom’s and Vanessa’s dropped, with sighs on both sides when they realized they were still thousands of miles away from each other. Her mom covered her mouth as began to sob, with her husband rubbing her arm and shoulder in comfort.
Vanessa couldn’t remember too many times she had seen her dad get emotional. Every once in a while at church, when he was praying for someone else and the Spirit moved, there might be tears, or sometimes during the preaching when something resonated that was dear to his heart, like stories of redemption from drugs and alcohol, or stories of God’s love reaching into the darkest places. And sometimes Missionary stories. Or Disney movies.
But this was one of those times. He had a look on his face, something so familiar, something she cherished. The look when she was his cute little girl, knee-high to a grass hopper with messy, long, wavy carrot-top curls, playing out in the yard, and he’d come back from the lab, walk out into the back and just watch her for a moment. And before he’d say anything, she’d see that look on his face, that look that said ‘Papa’s home! Come to Daddy! Pappa’s home!’ And he’d scoop her up into his arms and nibble on her cute little arms and they’d snuggle on the couch reading books and she could snuggle up into his lap and feel all safe and secure. Oh how she longed to do that one more time!
Oh how I wish I could have done so many things differently, Robert Bennett thought, “I’m so sorry, my little Nessi-Girl, Will you forgive your Papa?” he said tenderly. Everyone was crying now.
Vanessa nodded, wiping tears from her face with her forearms, still sitting huddling with her knees, her grandma taking her hands from Vanessa’s shoulder’s to wipe away her own. Restoration. God’s way. It felt really good.
Chapter 21
Vanessa wanted to know one more thing before her parents hung up. Grandma decided it best to excuse herself and went downstairs to make some tea.
“Mom, Dad, why didn’t you ever take me with you?”
Their bodies stilled, surprise clear on their faces. “When you were little, it was too dangerous,” said her mother. “When you were older, we thought you didn’t want to go.”
“I did want to be with you, but I thought you didn’t want me.” Her voice became a soft wail.
“Oh, Sweetheart.”
Tears ran down her cheeks. For the first time since she was really little, she felt like she was wanted by her parents. It was like a dam broke and she was being flooded with pure love.
“Your father was hurt that you seemed so uninterested in our work. When you wanted a career in art, we had no idea how to help you. We should have talked about it.”
“I wasn’t the easiest teen-ager,” Vanessa said.
“No you weren’t,” her parents both laughed.
At a slight lull in the conversation, Vanessa took the opportunity to say something heartfelt. “I love you Mama and Papa,” she said.
“We love you too,” said her Mama and Papa.
“Did you know Vanessa means ‘butterfly’? We named you after the most beautiful butterfly in South America,” said her Dad.
Now she could hardly see for the tears again. “I didn’t know that.”
“It also means ‘star’. We thought you were as lovely as any star in the sky,” her mother said.
I think Daniel would agree with that. I certainly made him see stars the first time we met! Vanessa chuckled at the thought.
“There’s also something called the ‘butterfly effect’ where a small butterfly beats her wings and causes a tsunami somewhere in Asia,” her father added.
“I believe that,” she replied ruefully.
“What your father is trying to say is that we think you’re a wonderful gift from God. You have gifts and talents that you haven’t even discovered yet. The Lord wants to use you in a great way.”
“I want to walk with the Lord and follow where He leads. I know I didn’t do that in the past, but I made things right with Him and I want to stay right with Him.”
“That’s wonderful, Vanessa. I’m proud of you and I want you to know that,” her father said.
“I’m proud of you, too,” said her mom.
Her parents needed to go and Vanessa was starting to feel how tired she already was. But it was a good tired. She couldn’t wait to see them. They couldn’t do the last 15-20 years of their life over again, but they sure were going to try to make up for lost time. They were going to start over. They were a family They batted around the idea of having her join them overseas very soon, but Vanessa needed to fulfill her obligations to Violet and keep helping her grandparents. She definitely wanted to work out something so she could go on a trip with them at some point.
Before she fell asleep that night, Vanessa knelt down next to her bed and prayed. “You have restored me and given me my family back, better than it was before. You have given me life and hope. Thank you, Lord. Praise You, Jesus!”
***
Daniel rolled over for the fifth time in as many minutes. No matter how much he tried, he simply could not sleep. Raising himself up on an elbow, he punched the pillow then flopped down. After a few seconds, he rolled over again.
Finally, he gave up. Maybe water would help. He went to the small kitchenette and took bottled water out of his tiny refrigerator. Unscrewing the cap, he poured the cold water down his throat. Then, carrying the bottle into his living room, he sat down on the couch. He didn’t bother with a light.
“Lord, I’ve got a long day teaching tomorrow. Why can’t I sleep?”
The answer hit him so fast and hard, he nearly spilled his water. He fell onto his knees and put his face on the carpet pleading desperately for Vanessa’s safety.
“Lord, I know you hold her in the palm of Your hand. You have every hair on her head numbered. You love her with a great and everlasting love. Protect her, Jesus. Keep her safe. Surround her with Your warrior angels. I don’t know what kind of trial she is about to face, but oh, God, let her feel Your presence and guiding. Let her know that You are with her. You will never leave her nor forsake her. You will always be with her. Your name is a strong tower. The righteous run into it and are safe.
“She laid her burdens down at Your feet today. I saw it and rejoiced. I know she finally tore that wall of guilt down and dropped that despair from off her back. Lord, I saw her get right with You now.”
His voice caught and his hands fisted in the carpet. He couldn’t pray what he knew the Lord was asking.
“Please, Lord, not that. Please.”
He didn’t feel a rele
ase. He had to give up—everything.
“Lord, I don’t want her to die. I love her now more than ever. I don’t want to give her up, Lord.”
Tears dropped from his eyes onto the rug. “Please, Lord,” he tried again.
He still didn’t feel a release.
“All right, Lord. I yield. If she doesn’t live, if it is Your will to take her, please hold her for me. Tell her every day that I love her and I will love her as long as I live. I love You, Jesus. I trust You, Lord.”
He couldn’t speak anymore.
When he was finally spent, he knew he was exhausted enough to sleep. He still hoped that Vanessa wouldn’t die. But, no matter what happened, he would trust the Lord. Jesus often took messes and made them into miracles. As Abraham trusted the Lord with his only son, Isaac, when the Lord asked that he give him as a sacrifice, Daniel chose to trust the Lord with Vanessa. Abraham did receive back his son. Jesus made a way. He would watch and see His Lord work.
Chapter 22
Denny woke up late on Monday morning, as usual, but instead of holding his head and moaning about all the ‘fun’ he had had over the weekend, he grunted, then smiled. Today would be his last day in Chicago. Leonard had worked his magic and he had the gun and bullets all ready. He even got him a license for it, imagine that? He was going to get that vase even if he had to tear apart her house room by room.
In the bathroom he splashed water on his face and grinned at himself in the mirror. Last night had been a wild night, all right. When the bar closed, the party moved to his hotel room. They were so loud, the hotel manager had threatened to call the police. Denny didn’t care. His fun was first priority. Who cared if he made a little noise?
When the hotel manager saw the damage to the room, he had been visibly angry. The bill would be much higher on his credit card. He almost got kicked out, but he assured him he’d pay, and the manager walked away grumbling. Oh well. Today was his last day. He might lose the credit card and not worry about it. Leonard made sure the credit card appeared real enough, but eventually the money faded away.
On the nightstand, he picked up one of leftover needles filled with fun from the weekend. The liquid inside sparkled in the sunlight. He had a bit of revenge in mind for little Vanessa. He would enjoy watching her take flight. Maybe he wouldn’t kill her. He would decide that later. For now, he had a vase to get.
***
Vanessa put the last of her clothes into a drawer and sighed. The rest of her things would go to the attic until she moved to her own place someday. Outside the sound of thunder unsettled her. It had been sunny moments ago. She was glad to be warm and safe at home today.
“Oh, Vanessa,” said her grandmother. “I just got off the phone with the pastor’s wife. Constance Givens, Sam, Jesse, and Ivy’s mother, was in an accident.”
“Is she at the hospital?”
“Yes.” Her grandmother wiped her eyes. “She’s going to be all right, but…”
“But, you really want to see for yourself?”
“Yes, but I don’t like to leave you. I already dropped your grandpa off at the office.” She frowned at her watch.
“I’d go with you, but I really need to start some of those preliminary sketches for Violet. I want to be ready when she asks to see the first drafts. I’ll keep my cell with me and all doors locked and bolted. I’ll be fine.”
“When does Daniel get home?”
“I’m not sure. He mentioned coming home for lunch though.” Vanessa reached over and gave Grandma a hug.
“Okay. It’s 11 now.” Her voice sounded marginally better. “That means he should be home in about an hour.”
Vanessa smiled at Grandma’s overprotectiveness. “Everything will be okay, really.”
Mrs. Bennett finally relaxed. “All right. The Lord can take much better care of you than I anyway.” She found her purse walked toward the side door. “Keep that cell phone with you and lock up after me.”
“I will. Don’t worry.” Vanessa shut the door after her and waved from one of the windows.
As she let the curtain fall back, she chuckled. It was sweet. Actually letting herself be taken care of was nice, and there was the added bonus of not feeling guilty about it. She wasn’t silly enough to think she deserved it, but she was finally willing to allow herself to receive the love that was so freely given.
***
Denny sat out in the cul-de-sac and watched Mrs. Bennett drive away. While the garage was open, he was reassured there weren’t any other cars. Good, Vanessa was probably alone. Even so, her grandfather was certainly no threat and he had no doubt that he could take that wimpy professor guy. A bouquet of white roses lay on the seat next to him. He rubbed his hands together and grinned. This is going to be fun.
Ding Dong. Who could that be? Maybe Grandma forgot her key? Vanessa went to the front door and peeked out the long side window. What on earth? Denny Delaney stood on her front porch holding flowers—roses, white roses! Her eyes widened and her mouth formed an ‘o’.
Seeing her, he smiled and gestured with the roses. Should she open the door? Wouldn’t it be rude not to?
***
Daniel felt sick. It was the same feeling he had had the other day when Vanessa was in trouble. Was something wrong?
Lord? The answer he received made his blood run cold. He needed to get home—now!
Daniel’s class had been canceled that morning because of a computer mistake in room scheduling. He hadn’t minded. It gave him time to get some much needed office work done. He had scheduled a test for the day, so his students weren’t at all upset to have that be postponed. As he gathered up his things, he prayed trying to prepare for whatever he would face.
He jogged through the building, but as he came outside, he ran into Dr. Thomas arriving.
“Daniel, just the man I wanted to speak to. I heard you had a piece of art to donate to the Archaeological Society Auction.”
“Hello, Dr. Thomas. No, actually, I have an art piece of which the artist has donated half the proceeds from the auction to the Archaeology Department Fundraiser Auction. The money will help fund deserving students go on a study in Israel this summer.”
“Oh. Same thing.” She waved her hands in a dismissive gesture. “I want to hear more about this artist. Where did you find him? Is he any good?”
Daniel tried not to grit his teeth. “She is quite good. Recently, she was commissioned to do cover art for one of Violet Givens’ books. She’s a best-selling author.”
“Yes, yes. Commissioned, you say? What sort of piece is the work?”
How could he gracefully hurry this conversation along? His stomach tying itself in knots, Daniel tried to answer her questions. “It’s impressionistic. She did it from the Archaeological Dinner party. It’s a scene from when we were all eating desserts and listening to the string quartet.”
“Oh. Am I in it?” A breeze moved her perfectly concreted hair. She patted it in place.
“I believe you are.” Was she? He couldn’t remember. If not, maybe he could ask Vanessa to paint her in somewhere. Was that hard?
“Well. I can’t wait to see it then. I must be going. See you at the Fundraiser.”
“Good morning, Dr. Thomas.” He held open the door for her.
“Good afternoon, Daniel.”
He gave a tight smile and nodded. As soon as she went through the door, he sprinted for his car.
Chapter 23
Vanessa stood at the door undecided. He seemed harmless enough. He had roses, beautiful, long stemmed roses. Her fingers tingled for her watercolor pencils. They’d make a wonderful sketch in a vase on the kitchen table.
This was ridiculous. She was being overcautious. Surely, he only happened to be coming through Chicago and stopped by to say hi. Probably some art buyers’ auction. They happened periodically in the area. When he crossed his arms and tried to rub them still holding the flowers, she felt sorry for him. The temperature must have dropped as the storm moved in. It could pour any second
.
She opened the door.
“Denny, what are you doing here?”
“Just passing through. These are for you.” He held the flowers out to her. “Aren’t you going to invite me in?”
She didn’t quite feel comfortable, but Daniel would be home soon. It would be all right. Did he know the vase was back? Maybe she could ask. Surely he’d have heard.
“Of course. Come in.” She took the flowers and went into the kitchen to get a vase to put them in. He followed her.
She opened a cabinet and grabbed the first vase she saw. Coming back around, she nearly dropped it. Denny was right behind her. Only, instead of holding roses, he was holding a gun.
“Denny, what are you doing?” This is not the Denny she knew and remembered. She tried to sound calm as she put the roses into the vase. They fit. He was always a little snivelly, prone to temper tantrums, like a little dog that barked at you when it was behind the fence, but would run away whimpering when face to face. Where would be the best setting for a painting with these? She set them on the counter and noticed her hands shaking. It was perfectly understandable. A man had a gun pointed at her.
“Where is my vase?” He stood there smiling, as if it were perfectly normal for a man to brandish a gun.
His expression was so dark. Serious. Changed. Was he on drugs? And what would he want with her parents’ vase? It never occurred to Vanessa that he’d be the one trying to steal it. What for? Maybe he was in some kind of trouble. Had he cut her brake lines? Vanessa started to realize the gravity of the situation.