by Nicole Dykes
hat vapid bitch, Tiffany, brushes by me as she leaves Shriller’s hospital room like nothing happened. I know I shouldn’t have eavesdropped, but I didn’t want to interrupt, and I was curious how that little twit was going to handle a real adult situation.
I wait a beat and then walk inside of the room and see Shriller sitting up on his bed. I’ve known him for years. He dated Brooke when we were all in high school, and I dated his best friend off and on for a few years around the same time.
He’s a cocky asshole, but so are most of the men in my life. It kind of fits with my personality.
When he sees me walk in, he groans loudly, “Shit, please tell me you didn’t hear all of that.”
“Well, I definitely didn’t hear that little dumbass freak out about having to actually care for her boyfriend.”
“Alex…” he warns.
I’m not one to sugarcoat things, but I do try to add a little joke to lighten the mood. “And don’t worry, I didn’t hear the part about the amazing things you do with your mouth.” His eyes meet mine, clearly not entertained. I walk closer to him and hand him his coffee. “She’s twenty-two, trust me I don’t put much stock in her opinion of what’s mind-blowing in bed.”
I expect some cocky comment about just how amazing he is with his mouth or something, but he just takes the coffee and thanks me.
I sit down on the small couch I had the pleasure of sleeping on last night and stare over at my friend who looks totally lost. “Really? You’re going to let this get to you?”
His head snaps to where I’m sitting. “Which part, Alex? Fucking up my entire body to where I don’t know the next race I’ll make or if I’ll ever race again? Or getting dumped by my girlfriend? Or losing a friend who was Cassie’s age?”
Okay so maybe jokes and sarcasm aren’t going to help right now, but I refuse to coddle him. That’s not at all what he needs. “I’m sorry about your friend, I really am. It’s incredibly sad. As for your body being “fucked” it’s not your whole body and you will heal. You just need to listen to the damn doctors and do what you need to do. You will race again. Finally, seriously, I think calling her a girlfriend is a stretch. Let’s call it what it is shall we?”
“And what is that?”
“She was a chick almost ten years younger that you were banging. Nothing more than a good time.”
He takes a sip of his coffee, hissing from the hot liquid squelching his tongue. “That’s bullshit. We were dating, Alex. Hell, she was living with me. If we were just having sex, do you really think I would have let her move into my house?”
The truth is I’m not sure what he saw in her other than the obvious. We all figured he was sick of going out every night and playing the game to find a different girl so he just found this play thing. I’m starting to think we were all wrong.
I ponder that as I pull up the website for American Airlines on my cellphone. “You’re right. I’m sorry. Maybe there was more to it for you. I mean, as far as I know, you were faithful to that little skank for the entire six months. That’s like a record for you.”
He lifts the coffee cup to his lips, this time casually blowing into the lid before taking a drink. “I didn’t cheat on her, and I thought there was more. I’m not an idiot, Alex. I knew she liked dating me for who I am out on the track. I just thought there was more to it.”
I scroll through the website finding a flight for this afternoon as I listen to his brutal honesty. Truth is, I hate what Tiffany did to him. I can’t stand to see any of my friends in pain, and Shriller has really been through the ringer in the last twenty-four hours. The thing that sucks is I’m kind of like the guys when it comes to emotions and real feelings. At least tough situations like this. Feelings are more Brooke’s forte.
Shriller is literally staring out the window when I feel his gaze land on me. “What the hell are you doing? You know you can go now. I’ll be fine.”
I book a flight and set my phone down. “Aren’t you sick of saying that by now? I feel like I’ve heard, ‘I’m fine’ a hundred times since yesterday. You aren’t fine. You aren’t fooling anyone.”
I meet his eyes across the room and take in his beat-up appearance. Shriller has always been a good-looking guy. He’s not huge, but he’s toned and lean, and no one would say he was small by any means. His dark brown hair has grown out a little over the years on top, but is still trimmed and neat. Not a hair out of place. I study the bandage over what must be a significant cut above his right eye, and his lip is split open. His right cheekbone is bruised, and he looks like he went ten rounds in the ring last night.
“Alex? Good God woman, you’re engaged for fuck’s sake, and yet you’re still sitting here ogling me shamelessly.” He playfully shakes his head.
I snap out of my surveying and roll my eyes. “Please.”
He cracks a small smile. He loves to joke around, and it’s actually nice to see his playful side. “So, you didn’t answer me.”
“I was booking a flight back to K.C.”
He nods his head, thinking he’s won. “Good. I mean, I appreciate you staying last night and all Alex, but I’m ready to get back home and I’m sure you are too.”
I laugh at that, not letting him go any further. “Shriller, I booked a flight for both of us. You really think I’m letting you fly back to L.A. today on your own?”
His face drops, and he scratches the stubble that’s forming on his chin with his left hand, the only one that is free at the moment. “Alex, I’m not going back to Kansas City. I have a life in L.A.”
“Oh yeah? What exactly is waiting there for you, Shriller? No girlfriend.” He winces, but I go on because I think he needs to hear this even if it’s hard. “Racing is off the table for the moment. Modeling probably is too until you heal up. You need to be around people who can help you out.”
He looks like he is about to object and I hold my hand up, silencing him. “I know. I know. Adam Shriller. Lone wolf. You don’t need anyone’s help, ever. No matter what. Blah, blah, blah. I’ve known you for a long time. You do need help this time. Come home, be around your friends and stop being a pain in the ass.”
He snorts at that, smiling, “Damn Alex, you sure are rough on a guy.”
“I’m not trying to be, but the doctor was right, you are in denial.”
He scratches the back of his neck as he mulls all of that over. “All right. I guess I can rent a place for a couple of months. Wouldn’t hurt to be around you guys, just in case.”
I send Brooke a quick text to let them know what’s up and that they should book a flight home also. Then, I turn my attention back to Shriller. “You can stay with me at my apartment. I have an extra room.”
“That’s not happening. Your fiancé hates my guts. No way would he be cool with me shacking up with you two.”
Stephen and I have been together for a few years. We broke up a little over a year ago, when he proposed and I freaked out. But then we got back together when I woke up and realized what an amazing guy he is.
He is the total opposite of every guy I’ve ever dated. He’s seven years older than me and actually acts his age. The biggest obstacle we’ve had so far is he doesn’t quite fit in with my friends and doesn’t really like to be around them. “Actually, I think it’s the other way around. You and Jax torment him.”
Shriller scoffs at that, “Please. We’ve made a couple of jokes.”
I roll my eyes at that as I text back and forth with Brooke. “A couple? You’re delusional. You’ve both made it very clear that you don’t like him.” After Brooke tells me they booked a flight on a different airline and are leaving soon and I tell them to have a safe trip, I slip my phone in my purse. “It doesn’t matter. He doesn’t live with me and I have a spare room.”
Shriller looks over at me, confusion written on his face. “No, I remember you guys moving in together.”
“He moved out”—I hold up a hand before he can say anything to that—“Don’t. It’s not a big deal, it just di
dn’t work out.”
His eyebrow quirks up and he just can’t help himself. “How did I not know that?” He looks stunned and then asks, “Hold on, you’re saying that you are marrying this guy, but you guys can’t live together?”
I sigh. Not really wanting to explain this to him. It was hard enough explaining it to the rest of my friends. “You’ve been busy. He hated my apartment. He just didn’t like its location, and he had kept his, which is right by his office where he could walk to work every day. Anyway, after about a month, he decided to move back.”
I grit my teeth, knowing he isn’t going to let this go. “So you guys are really going to live apart when you are married?”
“No, of course not. We are going to buy a house together for when we are married. We’ve already started our search. I don’t want to talk about this. The extra room is yours, okay?”
He has the same look that everyone else had when I told them and I can’t stand it. Yes, I know it’s weird that we couldn’t even live together for a month, but I’m sure it’s just because of the location, like Stephen said. We’ll be fine when we buy a house of our own that we can both agree on.
Luckily, he seems to drop it, but asks, “So he’s okay with me staying there when he isn’t?”
I nod my head, “We discussed it last night and he understands. He cares about me and knows that you are my friend that needs help. He just wants you to get better.”
There goes that damn eyebrow upward again. He’s going to be an asshole and ask another personal question or make some comment about Stephen, but then it’s like he talks himself out of it. “I appreciate it, Alex, but it would be weird.”
I shrug my shoulders, “It’s not weird and it’s happening. It’s the perfect arrangement for a few months. I own my own business, so I can drive you to appointments, no problem. And Stephen has been insanely busy lately, so I have free time. He’s never at my place, if that’s what you are worried about.”
“Isn’t he an accountant?”
“Yes.”
“So, why is he so busy. Tax season just ended.”
“Accountants are busy other times than tax season, Shriller. He works for a large firm and has a lot of important clients.” I feel the need to defend Stephen all of the time with my friends.
He holds up his left hand in surrender. “Sorry I was just asking.” He scrubs his hand over his face in frustration, “You don’t need to do this.”
“I know. I want to.”
Finally, I see it. Shriller gives in and succumbs to the fact that he does need some help. Hopefully we can get through this without killing each other.
Chapter 4
Shriller
W
e arrive in Kansas City that evening, and although I’m fucking glad to be out of the hospital, I’m not sure about this arrangement with Alex. She’s a great friend, but I’m pretty sure this won’t end well. The woman has no patience for bullshit, and I’m a known bullshitter.
Not to mention she’s engaged to a douchebag that I can’t stand. Seriously, what kind of man is cool with his girl moving in a guy she isn’t related to? Don’t even get me started on the fact that they can’t live together, yet remain engaged. What the fuck is that about? I didn’t want to push it with Alex earlier when she told me that, but seriously? It’s really hard watching my friend with a guy that seems totally wrong for her. It’s been a topic of conversation for years, but we all have strict orders from Brooke to leave it alone.
The cab driver helps me into the wheelchair I got from the hospital, and Alex steps behind me as I pay him. She went out and picked up some loose basketball shorts, to slip on easily over the cast on my knee and a couple of t-shirts before they discharged me. Luckily, the cast isn’t bulky and eventually I may be able to get a pair of jeans on over it. I fucking hate shorts. The nurse helped me dress, and I’ll tell you what, none of this shit has been easy on the ego.
Alex slings her bag over her shoulder, grabs the crutches I was sent home with, and goes to push my wheelchair inside. I quickly grip the wheels with my left hand to push myself toward the door, but realize my right arm is useless right now. She mumbles something under her breath and grips the handles of the wheelchair, wheeling me inside her lobby.
She lives in a nice, old building in downtown Kansas City. We make our way over to the elevator, and I’m grateful an older building like this has a working one. When the doors open, we both move inside. Alex presses the button for the fifth floor.
There are only two apartments on each floor, and when we get up to her floor, Alex pushes me to her door. She pulls her keys from her purse, and we go inside.
I do a quick scan of my new surroundings. It’s a cool, loft style apartment that screams “Alex,” with old brick walls and hardwood floor. “Nice.”
Alex closes the door behind me and sits her purse down on the bar that separates her kitchen from her living room. “It’s not much, but I like it here. You can make yourself at home.”
She stops the chair next to her couch and as gracefully as I can, I scramble to a spot on the oversized sofa. “How have I not been here before?”
“We usually meet up at Brooke and Dylan’s,” she answers before sitting in a chair next to the couch. “Okay, so I don’t fucking cook, and I’m not a maid, nor do I employ someone to pick up after me, so don’t be a slob.”
I chuckle at that. It’s no secret that Alex doesn’t cook and I’m not surprised about the maid part. She’s fiercely independent. “Yeah, I’ve known you for over a decade, Alex. I don’t expect you to take care of me.”
She nods her head, satisfied and then stands up to go over to a pile of takeout menus on her counter. “So what do you want for dinner? Chinese? Pizza?”
I’m thinking it over when there is a knock on the door. Alex walks out from behind the counter and heads toward the door. “That should be Luke. I asked him to bring over some clothes for you to borrow.”
She opens the door and sure enough, Luke strides in with a duffle bag. “Well, well, well. Shriller is back in K.C. Nice.”
I laugh at that and then say, “Yeah, well not for long.”
He places the bag next to the couch. “I just packed a couple of pairs of shorts and some t-shirts. Didn’t think you would want any of my underwear.”
I shake my head, “Nah, thanks though.”
He just shrugs his shoulders. He’s really grown up these last couple of years from that young star struck kid I first met. “No problem. Jax and I are heading to L.A. in a couple of days still, so if you want, we can pick up some of your stuff.”
“And make sure that skank has vacated the premises,” Alex adds.
Christ. Does she have to tell everyone about my embarrassment?
Luke smirks over at Alex, not surprised by what she said so I’m guessing the whole gang knows. “Sure thing.”
“We were about to order some dinner, Luke. You gonna stick around?” Alex asks him while scrolling on her cellphone.
Luke holds his right hand up, “No. Thanks though. Hannah is on her way home so I better get going.” He nods to me, “Feel better. See ya around.”
“Thanks.”
He leaves and Alex orders Chinese food for us to eat. When the food gets here, I grab one of the crutches and place it under my left armpit, propping myself up to make my way to her dining room table. This shit is going to take some real getting used to.
Alex puts two plates on the table and pulls a chair out for me, which I gratefully take. My broken ribs are screaming in pain.
“It will get easier, you know,” Alex says as she fixes herself a plate and I dig in.
“Yeah, I know. I’ve actually never had to use crutches before. Or a fucking wheelchair.”
“That’s hard to believe with all of the dumb shit you’ve done over the years.”
I laugh, thinking about that fact. “True. I’ve mostly just had sprains and cuts.”
We both start to eat, and she unexpectedly starts laughing. “
Oh my god, you remember when you thought you could handle that steep ass hill out at Otter Creek our senior year? You totally ate it and busted your pretty face all up.”
“Oh shit. I totally forgot about that.”
She laughs even harder, clutching her chest. “That was so funny.”
“Thanks, Alex. I’m glad you can find pleasure in my pain.” I smile over at her from across the table even though she’s laughing at a really embarrassing moment in my life, I’m grateful for a break in the shitty day. I give in and laugh with her because she’s right, it was kind of funny.
I was such a cocky kid and my friend, Evan—the one Alex dated for a bit—dared me to take on that hill. There was no way I could say no, especially around the girls. And I had no fear back then, either. I went down it and nearly had it, but I hit a rock and flipped, my face taking the brunt of it.
That shit hurt like a son of a bitch. It was nothing compared to this wreck. I stop laughing when my thoughts go back to the track and Billy actually dying. It’s all so surreal, and I feel like tomorrow I’ll wake up to it all being a dream.
If only.
Chapter 5
Alex
S
hriller’s face goes from happy and laughing to dark, and I’m not sure he wants to talk about where his thoughts went. I know he has to be in hell. Uncertainty is awful and that’s where he is stuck right now.
I thought that reminiscing about high school and other times he had been hurt would help, but I think that backfired. It’s amazing how many of my memories include Shriller.
When we both finish eating, I clear the table and then walk back over. “Okay, grab your crutch and I’ll give you a tour.”
I know he has to be in some serious pain and probably just wants to go to sleep. He stands up and casually tucks the crutch under his one good arm. I don’t miss the slight wince from him when his broken ribcage stretches.
We walk into the kitchen first, and I gesture to the room, “Okay, so obviously this room doesn’t get used very much. I do go grocery shopping about once a week though, so if there is something that you want me to get, put it on the list.” I motion toward the notepad on the counter.