“Colton!” Lauren sat up. “Cut it out. I’m serious!”
“Lauren. Listen to me. If I was bored or wasn’t happy, I wouldn’t still be here. You’re not a boring person, Lauren. You’re not a shallow person. I learn more about you every day. I’m only just going to meet your parents this weekend. Lauren, I love you. And I’ve never loved anyone in my entire life.”
“Colton…” Lauren grabbed him tight. “Thank you.”
“Thank you. It’s true.”
“Beth and Stephanie still can’t believe it. They keep calling me the Annette Bening to your Warren Beatty.” Lauren laughed.
“Yeah…and I still have no idea what the fuck they’re talking about.”
Lauren smiled. “Yes, you do. Because I’ve explained it.”
“I have selective listening,” Colton said, half-joking and then slapped her ass. “Let’s go, Princess. You’re going to be late.”
“Mmmmm…make me late.” Lauren laid back on the bed and opened her thighs.
And Colton accepted the invitation.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Lauren always got nervous on the night of performances, especially a role like this, such an important role, a role she connected to so deeply. Each show of the seven-performance run was sold out, and she wanted to show her parents that she’d made the right decision choosing her school.
She looked upwards to talk to Shelby, like she always did before performances. “I love you, Shelby,” and she closed her eyes and swore she could hear her laughter. She laughed a lot. And smiled. Even when she was sick. In her heart, Lauren felt Shelby there with her. Somedays, she even felt, somehow, Shelby had a hand in finding Colton. It was a silly, fairy-tale thought, but Lauren held onto it just the same. Whatever had brought Colton to her, she was forever grateful to have found him.
Behind the stage, the cast gathered to hold hands and say a little prayer they’d created, and finally said, “Break a leg!” The director stepped front and center stage to say a few words to the audience, and then, the curtain opened.
Before Lauren knew it, the production started, the singing commenced, and her solo was upon her. She let herself go there, let herself feel, let herself experience each note, each word. Tears streamed down her face to a full house as she emotionally invested herself into the character.
She saw Colton, ten rows back in the center, and her friends, too, even Brian. Her parents sat just a little off to the side in the left-hand orchestra seats, and the applause lasted so long after her solo that the orchestra’s band director had to keep holding up his hands to tell them to hold off a little longer before they continued playing.
And when Lauren found Colton’s eyes, she swore they held tears in them, just like hers did. She never wanted a day to go by where he wasn’t in it.
Lauren hated to judge herself and, even more, hated congratulating herself on a job well done, but if the crowd was any indication of how she did, even she couldn’t deny that she’d nailed it.
She left the stage rather exhausted, thinking she owed a lot to Professor Blake for pulling her out of her comfort zone all those months ago, for getting her to really tune into what acting is all about, how it’s not just about singing a song, but becoming the character.
Her castmates hugged her when she came off the stage and told her she was incredible, and the whole night was like a dream of hers since her earliest memories.
When the production was over, and the actors took the stage for the final bow, the entire theatre stood on their feet to applaud. Lauren could see Colton and her friends now, and her parents too, and she knew that she was loved. And she knew that she was loved for being nothing other than herself. And that felt pretty damn good.
When she came off the stage, she leapt into Colton’s arms, and he kissed her, long and hard, and only stopped because Lauren’s father cleared his throat, forcing Colton to drop her back down on her feet.
Lauren giggled a little. “Hi, Dad.” She hugged him and then looked to her mom. “Hi, Mom,” and kissed her on the cheek.
Things had been tense between Lauren and her parents. Though they had talked, neither party was really willing to go where they needed to go, except to tell each other they loved one another, that they were sorry, and that each day, things would get better. And that was a start for Lauren.
“Mom. Dad. This is Colton.”
Lauren’s dad took Colton’s hand in his, and her mom opened her arms to give him a hug, and it was like the earth and the moon and the sun and the ocean and everything in between was lining up in some cosmic perfection. It almost frightened Lauren.
“Miss Percy?” A gentleman Lauren didn’t know interrupted them. She looked over his head to see a frantic Leslie waving and a Professor Blake holding his hands up in the air, clapping in Lauren’s direction, before she focused on the man standing in front of her.
“Yes,” Lauren said, smiling as if he was ready to take her picture. I wonder what newspaper he’s from?
“I’m William Rothenstein, director of the Drama program at Juilliard.”
Lauren froze. She recognized that name, having written an essay and application just for him before pulling it. “We accept a very limited number of transfer students every year into our elite program. And we offer one of those slots on full scholarship based purely on talent. If you’d like to apply, we’d like you to.” He passed a packet to Lauren’s trembling hands. “That has everything you need in there. I enjoyed your performance very much tonight. We hope to hear from you.”
When he walked away, Lauren struggled to look into her parents’ eyes. She struggled even more to look into Colton’s. She shuffled her feet before her mother broke the silence. “Lauren. This is your choice. But I’m not sure you know. Greg’s left the school. He couldn’t keep up his grades.”
Her mother paused for a moment, and Lauren noticed, for the first time, how blue her mother’s eyes were. And Lauren thought to herself, Just like mine sometimes.
Lauren’s mother continued, “It’s always been your dream, Lauren.”
Lauren whispered, “I know, but…” She looked to Colton. “I love it here.”
Colton stepped into Lauren and grabbed her face. “I’d never forgive myself if you didn’t take this opportunity, Lauren.”
“Colton…”
Lauren’s dad piped up. “Look, we have reservations at the little Italian restaurant you told us about in about”—he looked at his watch— “a half an hour. Just meet us there. Or not.” He grabbed Lauren’s mom’s hand, and Lauren’s mom kissed Lauren’s forehead, and they left Colton and Lauren alone.
“New York is so far from here, Colton,” Lauren said, looking into his eyes, hoping he’d tell her to stay.
“I know it is, Lauren.”
“Come with me,” Lauren blurted.
“Aaah. See? So you do want to go.”
“I’m just saying that you’re more talented than I am. Their program for music is the best in the country. It might do you well to get out of Florida, Colton.”
Leslie came over to hug Lauren, almost knocking her over, oblivious to the fact that Colton and Lauren were having a serious conversation about something. “You were amazing, Lauren. God. I was bawling my eyes out.”
Stephanie and Beth came from the other side and also hugged Lauren, and Stephanie sized up Colton. “S’up, Masters?”
Colton just chuckled.
Even Angela was there but just waved before exiting the theatre as did Brian, who never quite warmed up to the idea of Colton and Lauren.
“Your ex was making out with Will all night in the back of the theatre,” Stephanie continued. “Guess Tiffany replaced ya.”
“Give my condolences to Will,” Colton said. “I’ll be in my car waiting for you, Lauren. Take your time.”
The girls stayed and gathered Lauren’s things. They went backstage and congratulated the cast, and Lauren’s head spun. She didn’t dare say a word to anyone.
Colton slammed the doo
r to his car and pounded the steering wheel with his fists. Fuck. He knew he didn’t deserve to be this happy. But Lauren did deserve it, to be happy.
Colton had seen the love Lauren’s parents had for her, because it was the same love he had for Lauren. It was unconditional. And if he didn’t love her so much, he’d be jealous.
He felt like crying, but he had already done that once watching Lauren perform. He couldn’t remember ever crying until he met Lauren. His father never let him. Jesus.
No matter how much it hurt, he’d be damned if the girl with the all-things-Juilliard bedroom wouldn’t reach her dreams. He’d be damned if he’d be the one to hold her back.
When Lauren finally got to the car, Colton said, “I’ll drive you to eat with your parents, but I’m not staying.”
“What? Why? Colton, don’t you dare. Colton, do not do this.”
“Lauren. It’s over. I’ll not hold you back from Juilliard. I will not. And I’m not applying there just to be with you. My home is here. For as fucked up as my family is, it’s all I’ve got. My mother needs me. I have a life here. I’ve made a career here. I’m staying.”
“Colton, I’ll decide if I want to go to Juilliard or not. I’ll decide!”
“Well,” Colton started the car. “I’ve just made it a little easier for you.”
He pulled up to the restaurant and leaned over to open the door for Lauren to get out. “I’m proud of you,” he said to Lauren and kissed her cheek. “Really proud of you.”
“Colton…even if I did go, even if I decided to go, we could make it work.”
“Get out, Lauren.”
“Colton. Please!”
“Now, Lauren. Before I get angry.”
“Colton, there’s Facetime and internet and Skype and phones and I could fly down and you could fly up.”
“Lauren, it’s Juilliard. You won’t have time for that. You and I both know it. Look at me.” He grabbed her face. “I fucking love you. Do you understand that? This is how much. I’ve never loved anyone like you. Hell, I’ve never loved anyone period. But I love you. And you will go, because if you stay, you’ll never see me again. Now go.”
“Colton!”
“Go!” he screamed, and she jumped out of the car, holding her belly against her hands tight, and he knew he had to drive away as fast as he could…or he wouldn’t.
“What happened?” Lauren’s dad came running over to her side when he saw Lauren limping into the restaurant. “Where’s Colton?”
“We broke up.”
“What?” It was Lauren’s mother now at Lauren’s side as they both brought her over to sit down, flagging a waiter over to pour her some water.
“I don’t know what to do!” Lauren said.
“About what? Him? Juilliard?”
“Both!”
The waiter came back over and poured her some water and quickly ran away, looking uncomfortable.
“Look,” Lauren’s mother said. “You love this school you’re in, and you’ve done well. But you know you’ll move to New York someday. You know that’s where the work you want is. This is a dream you’ve always had. If Colton loves you, he’ll love you after this is all done.”
Lauren looked up into her mother’s caring eyes. “You always wanted this for me too, Mom. Somedays, I wonder if that’s the reason I want it.”
Lauren’s dad interjected. “Lauren, that’s not fair.”
“No, it’s okay, Tom,” Lauren’s mom said. “Lauren. I only wanted that for you because you wanted it. And I didn’t want to fail again as a mother. I couldn’t get Shelby what she wanted. I was helpless to do anything right with Shelby. You were my one chance to do something right with my daughters.
But maybe you’re right. Maybe I went too far. The fighting with the school about your GPA, not accepting the truth about Greg and who he was, overprotecting you. All of it. But no matter what I may have said in sadness or fear or anger, you are my real daughter, Lauren, and you’re all I have left. I love you. And I don’t care if you stay here in Florida or go to New York. I just want you happy.” She stood.
“Mom. Mom, I’m sorry. Please sit back down,” Lauren pleaded.
“I’ll call a cab. Stay with your father. I’m not hungry.”
“Mary,” Lauren’s dad called to her. “Come back.”
“No, Tom. You two stay and enjoy yourselves.”
Lauren put her head in her hands and the tears plopped down onto the table like rain. The waiter saw and slowly turned himself back around.
“What a mess,” Lauren said at last.
“You’ll figure it out, pumpkin,” her dad said. “We’ll figure it out.”
“On my own,” Lauren whispered.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
The end of the semester and the school year was upon them, and Lauren had been officially accepted into Juilliard on full scholarship, and she had another week before she committed.
Though she and Colton did talk, he hadn’t been to any more of her performances, and their talks were small talk at best. It was hard to believe how much they’d shared with each other.
Stephanie was planning the party to end all parties, calling it Lauren’s party, but of course, Lauren knew Stephanie loved excuses to throw parties, whatever the reason. It took Lauren a long time to accept the break-up; in fact, she hadn’t really accepted it at all.
“Do my eyes, Beth, like you did that first time?”
“You mean, I don’t even need to sing to get you to do it?” Beth said, trying to cheer Lauren up. “They’re so blue right now. Last time, they were so green. I’ll try something new this time.”
Beth put on her music, and Lauren tried to smile.
“I’m proud of your GPA, Beth. You’ve done a really good job.”
Beth spun around like a ballerina. “Didn’t think I had it in me, did ya?”
Lauren laughed. “I did!”
“Well, I didn’t. But you know what? It feels good to earn something.” She lifted up her shirt. “And look at these abs. Sober for seven months straight now. I’m in such damn good shape.”
“You look damn good, too, Beth.” Lauren jabbed at her ribs in a joking manner. “Steel.”
“You know it,” Beth said. “I don’t miss it at all. I can honestly say, I feel so much better, and I actually like myself a lot better too.”
“I like you, period,” Lauren said, trying not to become too emotional. “You’ve been a really good friend, Beth.”
“So have you, Lauren.” Beth stood back and held up the mirror for Lauren to see. “Masters doesn’t stand a chance tonight.”
Lauren looked like a different person. “How do you do that?”
“I’ve got the perfect canvas,” Beth said, matter-of-factly, stuffing her make-up back into her cosmetic bag.
Lauren whispered, “You really think Colton will be there?”
“I do,” Beth said equally matter-of-factly. “So hair down this time. And…” She opened her closet. “You’re wearing this.” Beth produced a beautiful electric blue dress. It was revealing and was going to be short, but it sparkled, and it bounced, and Lauren loved it.
“Oh my god, Beth!” You bought this for me?”
“We all did. Leslie. Stephanie. And…”
“And…who?”
“Angela.”
“Angela?”
“Yup.”
“Wow.”
“Now go try it on. This with your eyes tonight? Masters is doomed.”
Lauren hugged Beth. “I love you.”
“I love you too, sista from another mista.”
Beth turned around so Lauren could slip on the dress in front of their full-length mirror. Lauren ran her hands down it and turned around to see it from the back. It fit her perfectly. Maybe too perfectly, hugging and accentuating every curve.
“Can I see!” Beth asked, impatiently. “This is your last college party here in Florida. You’re going out with a bang, girl.”
“Yes,” Lauren said tentative
ly. “You can turn around.”
“Oh. My. God.” Beth squealed. “Holy shit. It looks better than we thought it would.”
Lauren giggled. Hard. She hadn’t laughed in weeks, and she felt so grateful to have friends.
“You know, Beth. I haven’t fully decided on Juilliard. I may not go.”
“Uh-huh. And I love studying.”
“You have come to love studying!” Lauren said.
And Beth laughed. “Well, okay. That didn’t work!” Beth laughed harder. “But no. I do not love studying. I just don’t hate it anymore.”
“Okay. Okay.” Lauren conceded, really taken with the dress to care of much of anything else at that moment. “Let’s get going?”
“Now that’s the spirit!”
*****
The Uber was there within moments, and the girls were whisked off to the party. Lauren felt a little overdressed, but Beth kept reassuring her that she was the guest of honor, and that it was Stephanie’s idea to begin with.
When Lauren entered the house this time, her nerves were all over the place but for different reasons. This time, she wasn’t hoping Colton wasn’t there; she was praying he would be there, because if he wasn’t, she may never see him again.
The house wasn’t as intimidating as it was the first time Lauren had been there either. Its bark was much bigger than its bite. It didn’t scare her anymore, and she realized, college wasn’t about fitting in. She’d learned that college was about finding what fit her. And she walked a little prouder and a little surer, and if she did or didn’t drink, it wouldn’t matter one iota.
“Holy shit,” Will said to Lauren upon opening the door.
“Hi, Will,” Lauren said a little more confident than she would have just months ago, but Tiffany was on his arm within minutes, pulling him away.
Stephanie waved from the kitchen and then ran over to them, twirling Lauren around, saying, “I knew it. I knew it. I knew it! Fits you perfectly. It’s exactly how I envisioned it looking.”
“I love it, Stephanie,” Lauren said. “It was very thoughtful of you all.”
Play Only For Me: (A New Adult Romance) Page 16