by Mari Carr
“Hardheaded. Every last one.” JD stared at each person around the table in turn. “I went to the doctor for you today. Now hear this. No more tests. No more poking, prodding or wasting what time I’ve got to spend on earth. You have something to call it now. The end result is the same.”
Lucy piped up. The nurse in her refused to be cowed by her father-in-law’s mandate. “There are plenty of things we can do to improve your quality of life in the coming months.”
“I don’t think I have that long left in me.” JD shrugged. “But if it won’t keep me from doing what I need to around here, training these kids to run the place, I’ll listen to what you tell me. You’re the expert, okay?”
She nodded.
“Sometime tomorrow I’d like you to lay it on the line for me. How’s it going to go down? I need to be prepared.” He didn’t flinch from the truth.
“Oh God.” Lucy’s mascara ran along with the trails of her tears. “I love you, JD. I won’t lie. This is going to be…brutal.”
Both Silas and Colby edged closer, cradling her between them.
“Think of me like one of the horses. Your pa was one hell of a vet. He destroyed animals he loved a hundred times over. You’re strong like him. Separate your job from the rest. We’ll do just fine. And if it’s too much, that’s okay too, girly. There are other—”
“Never. No one else will care for you. The hardest part for you won’t be the pain or fear of the unknown. I know you, JD. It’ll be the loss of dignity that challenges you most. No one else will see it. I swear. We’ll deal with this in the family.” Lucy reached across the table for his hand when he didn’t respond. “All of us, together.”
“Sawyer?” Vicky looked to Sam.
“He doesn’t know. His assignment started yesterday. It’ll be eight weeks before he’s done.” He squinted toward JD. Did they have that kind of time? “I think we should have the Coast Guard airlift him out.”
“Absolutely not.” The head of Compass Ranch rapped his knuckles on the table as he laid down the law. “That boy’s been working toward this for a long time.”
“It’s not your choice, JD.” Sam tried again. Sawyer had a right to know. He should be here. He would opt to come home.
What if Sawyer never had a chance to say goodbye? Would he ever forgive them? It had seemed unfathomable this morning, but the reality stared Sam in the face now. It was a definite possibility.
“Quit sizing me up. I’m not going to keel over. Eight weeks you say?” JD gritted his teeth. “I’ve got that in me yet. I’ll fight for every one of those damn days. Mark my words. Give him a chance to do his thing. I’ll still be here when he’s done.”
Sam knew if anyone could defy nature, it’d be his dad. At least for a little while. He never did anything half-assed and his will shone through the pain in his eyes. Besides, if things deteriorated, Sam could always make the call then.
“Somebody better grab that chicken.” JD motioned with his chin. “Smells like it might be burning.”
They all let Sam pretend he hopped to because he was hungry. He dried his tears on the kitchen towel, which draped over the handle of the oven door, before he removed the roasting pan. Savory steam blasted him. Instead of making his mouth water, it turned his stomach. Even his mom’s awesome secret recipe couldn’t stir his appetite.
Dinner sat in his gut like a brick when Vicky rose. “Would you kids mind dish duty?”
“Of course not,” Colby answered first, and they all concurred.
She bit her lip as she stroked Sam’s hair.
“I’m not going anywhere,” he promised. “We can catch up in the morning, Ma.”
“It’s a date. You, me and blueberry waffles. Your room is all ready for you.”
“But how?” He frowned.
“She always keeps it like that.” JD clapped Sam on the shoulder hard enough to draw a grunt from him, then trundled off toward his and Vicky’s bedroom.
The couple leaned against each other, taking it slow but steady. Murmurs trailed behind them, too soft to decipher. The last thing Sam saw as they rounded the corner was their fingers.
Laced together.
Chapter Five
Cindi shook her head as Seth helped his brother up the stairs. She didn’t have to be introduced to recognize the man who’d ridden in with the southern charmer. Another one of the infamous Compass Brothers had returned.
Magnets from the four corners of the country, not to mention several places around the world, pinned pictures of Vicky’s heartbreakers to the refrigerator in the main house. Even without the recent headshot of one of New York’s top traders, she’d have had no trouble identifying JD’s offspring.
Sam had inherited his father’s build and the easy flow of his movements. Something about him called to her even more than the other potent Compton men. Maybe it’d been his sophisticated style, his understated yet quality clothing or his classic haircut, which highlighted his handsomeness more than his ruggedness.
In person, he blew away the photo she’d drooled over when putting up leftovers. Damn.
“Careful, sweetie.” Jake approached from where he’d been tinkering with a piece of equipment. He wiped the grease off his hands onto his jeans before trailing his index finger down her neck. “You’re looking like you might swallow that talented tongue of yours.”
“Jealous?” She lifted a brow.
“Maybe.” He shrugged. “Can’t imagine a Compass Brother sharing his girl. That’d be a mighty big problem. For both of us I’d reckon.”
“You do realize Silas has sex with both Colby and Lucy, right?” She adored the blush that enhanced his deep tan.
“That’s different.” He shook his head. “You know what I’m talking about. Or if you’ve forgotten, maybe I could show you. Pretty sure Duke, Johnny and Levi are finishing up inside. We’ll make you forget you ever saw that kid. Pussy city-slickers like him don’t have anything on real men.”
“Not tonight, Jake.” For the first time, the idea of a romp in the hay with them didn’t appeal. Usually an invitation to be embraced by their group inspired a shiver. Not today. “And don’t talk like that, okay? It doesn’t improve my opinion of you.”
“Really, Cin?” He retreated a step or two as though she were one of her beloved barn cats, hissing and slashing at him with sharp claws. “Is that how it is? I always thought you didn’t care about a man’s standing as much as his open arms. We’ve made you part of our family, given you what you needed. The second you see some rich prick you’re going to throw us over? Hell, you’ve never even talked to the guy.”
“Don’t you think you’re getting ahead of yourself?” She chuckled. “All I’m doing is standing here, enjoying the evening air and the scenery.”
“I’ve seen that look before.” Jake came closer. He crowded her against the wall, but she didn’t flinch. He’d never hurt her.
When he bent his head and stole a kiss, she added enough heat to the brief glide of her lips to reassure him.
“I like it better when it’s aimed at me,” he whispered in her ear. “Have your fun. I’ll be ready to pick up the pieces.”
“What do you have against Sam?” She tilted her head as she studied the tightness in Jake’s jaw. He was one of the most relaxed, easygoing cowboys she’d ever met.
“It’s hard to respect a kid who doesn’t appreciate his good fortune.” Jake shook his head. “I’d have killed for the kind of folks he has, the support he threw in the garbage. All of the Compass Brothers.”
“Didn’t they leave right after high school?” That’s what ranch rumor had to say about it, anyway.
“Yeah. All of them lit out of here like their asses were on fire, the moment they turned eighteen. Silas… Of all of them, I get how that situation could fuck with your head. Maybe.” He kicked at a rock. “The rest, well, I don’t fucking understand.”
“You can’t judge what they did as teenagers, Jake.” She snagged his hand and squeezed. “You’re older. We both
know how important these kinds of connections are. They were lucky. They didn’t have a clue what it’s like to be totally alone, like us. Never will probably.”
“I hope you’re right.” The cheerful mask he typically wore drooped a fraction, and Cindi couldn’t resist their bond. Jake had provided a safe haven for her when she needed it. Tonight seemed like a bad night for him. “Wouldn’t wish that on anybody.”
She leaned toward the open door, tugging on him gently. “Your offer still stand?”
“Why?” He peered from beneath the brim of his dark, dusty hat.
“I think I changed my mind.” She walked backward, drawing him into the barn.
“I ain’t interested in a pity fuck, Cin.”
“Shut up already, cowboy.” She cut her criticism with a soft smile. “I have better uses for your mouth.”
“Hell.” He groaned when she slipped her fingers into his waistband and led him toward the three men leaning against an empty stall, shooting the shit.
Several hours later, Cindi sat behind her desk in the barn. A soft lamp illuminated the paperwork she’d been distracted from earlier. Okay, so maybe she really needed an excuse to avoid letting Jake or any of the other guys drive her to the cute cottage she’d claimed. It sat on top of a hill blanketed in wildflowers, which overlooked a pond on the ranch’s property. JD had told her it’d belonged to one of his aunts back in the day.
When she’d first seen it, she doubted it would ever be habitable again.
Jake, Colby, Duke, Johnny, Levi and no less than a dozen other cowboys had lent their strong backs to help her renovate the place. JD had allowed her to manage the ranch’s office in exchange for room and board. Their community had built her sanctuary, infusing it with their generosity and hospitality. To protect her standing, she hadn’t allowed a single visitor since she’d moved in about two years ago. Except for Vicky, who would stop by for a cup of tea on occasion, or JD. But she didn’t have any secrets from them.
Most of the time, the hands knew better than to beg to stay the night. Jake had grown a little clingy lately. She refused to give him false hope. She would never choose only him. Monogamy didn’t suit her, and she wasn’t the kind of woman who’d cheat on her man.
Besides, she couldn’t risk anyone spying on her retreat if she had any hope of protecting the life she’d built here. Sacrificing her unofficial family was something she wasn’t willing to do.
Twenty minutes, tops, would guarantee her lovers had drifted to the bunkhouse in a sated daze to hit the hay and she would stroll in the moonlight along the path etched into her soul. Relaxed, her body humming, assured of her place in the Compass Ranch universe, she couldn’t wait to snuggle into the mountain of pillows on her bed and drift off with the chirping of the frogs in her pond for a lullaby.
She stifled a yawn.
A rustle from the main area of the barn had her dropping her head into her hands. She had hoped their physical sharing would be enough. Putting Jake in his place wouldn’t be pretty. Or easy. She couldn’t explain the difference between what she needed and what he had hinted he would like to try.
Shit. If things turned ugly she might have to take drastic measures.
Moving on from Compass Ranch could kill her.
Better to cut it off at the head. She hooked her fingers through the loop on her Coach wristlet, then strode from the space she’d carved from the working barn. She looked left, then right, up and down the aisle of stalls. Jake was nowhere to be seen. Still, the scuff she’d heard had sounded more like boots than the clomp of a restless horse or even the scurry of a barn mouse.
“Hello?” she called softly, goose bumps rising on her arm.
She’d never had one moment of fear in this place despite countless long nights organizing the books. JD had done his best before she’d come onboard. Still, there’d been a ton of room for improvement. The darkness had never seemed so quiet. Too still.
Someone was out there.
Someone was watching.
“If you don’t show yourself I’ll scream my fucking head off. Seth and Sam Compton are in the main house tonight. They’ll probably land a few good shots before JD makes you wish you were never born.”
“Uh, actually.” A smooth, low voice stroked over her more intimately than the caresses she’d shared with Jake not long ago. “Sam Compton is in the barn. He didn’t realize anyone else was still awake. And then once he figured it out, he didn’t want to frighten you, seeing as you’ve never been formally introduced.”
Cindi sucked in a breath when he emerged from the shadows carrying one of Tweety’s kittens. Though the litter had grown like weeds this last week, the furball looked like a speck of fuzz cupped in Sam’s broad, callous-free fingers.
“A pleasure to meet you.” He tipped his hand until the kitten sank her claws in and stuck like Velcro to his tight, navy blue T-shirt. It wasn’t a ratty one with some tractor brand plastered across it, but a high-quality designer variety that hugged his defined pecs.
He extended his palm in her direction.
She met him halfway.
“Likewise. I’m Cindi Middleton.” Their gazes collided as he engulfed her fingers with his gentle squeeze. Pale green irises mesmerized her.
A plaintive mewl broke the moment. Cindi scooped Peaches from Sam’s chest before the kitten did damage. Her knuckles brushed Sam’s warmth. The languor permeating her bones didn’t prevent her from snapping to attention at the instant current that arced between them. Before she realized what she intended, she’d rubbed her free hand over the tiny pinpricks in the soft fabric, erasing the disturbances in the weave.
“Hmm.” Sam purred louder than the kitten.
Her stare whipped to his. She took a giant step back. “Sorry. Wasn’t thinking.”
“Damn, me either.” He shook his head, then massaged his temples. “It’s been an insane day. Pretty much the worst of my life if I’m honest. I came here for some space to think. I’d better go.”
“No, wait!” Cindi didn’t mean to shout. She blushed. “I was heading home. I didn’t mean to intrude. Stay. It is your place after all.”
“Is it?” He tilted his head, glancing toward her refuge. “Seems like you have more of a claim staked than me.”
She bit her lip. Dangerous territory with a brooding man.
The late hour, stress and a lack of sleep blurred their judgment.
Still, she couldn’t ignore the desolation in his tone. “I’ve only been squatting here. Compass Ranch is in your blood. Whether you were gone a minute or fifty years it wouldn’t matter. Hell, not a day goes by I don’t hear about the antics of those crazy Compass Brothers. Your mark is all over this place. Forever.”
“None of those stories are true, I assure you.” He smiled for the first time. The white, even span of his teeth brightened his entire face. The dark stain of his five o’clock shadow seemed scandalous by comparison.
She swallowed hard. “Not even the good ones?”
“Hard to believe there are many of those. Trouble has a way of finding four wild boys.”
“Well, Levi told me about the time Snake’s sister went into labor. Rumor has it everyone was out in the west pasture and Vicky had run into town. He said you answered the call. Even though you were only eleven, you jumped on Dee, galloped out there and drove Shelia back to the main house.” Cindi cuddled Peaches against her chest. It was easy to picture this dashing man as the brave, young kid she’d heard all about. “The doctor didn’t make it, but at least Lucy’s dad had reached the house by the time you returned. If you hadn’t met him there, who knows what would have happened.”
“Shelia still sends me a Christmas card every year.” He sighed and nodded. “I can’t believe how big Danny is.”
“He’s a nice boy. JD let him drive a tractor for the first time last week.” She didn’t realize she’d rocked the kitten to sleep until Sam’s eyes tracked her soft swaying. “He’s been talking about applying for his learner’s permit as soon as he c
an next year. You’d have thought it was Christmas around here. Plus he did all the tilling for Jake.”
“Holy shit, that makes me feel old.” Sam laughed.
The rich baritone caused a flutter in her tummy. “Yeah, right. You’re ancient. I mean you must be twenty-four at least.”
“Twenty-five.” He held up two digits on one hand and all five on the other.
She buried the urge to take his index finger into her mouth. Was she a nympho on top of an exhibitionist? Jesus.
“Cindi?”
“Hmm?” She focused her attention on his face once more. Had he gotten even more handsome in the ten seconds that had stretched into an awkward silence? What had he said? Twenty-five. Right. “Old man. You have me by a couple years. I’m twenty-three.”
“A babe.” A quick wink accompanied his joke. At least she assumed he was joking.
What the hell was she doing standing here flirting with Sam Compton, the last man on earth she should screw around with? “I’d better be heading home.”
“Could I ask you something first?” He looked over his shoulder and didn’t wait for her to politely decline. “Which stall is Dee in these days?”
“She’s next to Couper and Rainey.” Cindi crooked her finger as she headed for the prized horses. An easy enough request. She ignored the part of her that had hoped he’d solicit something inappropriate. “Right over here.”
Before they’d made it to the gorgeous horse, the mare turned in their direction and scented the air. Cindi often fed her carrots while she took her breaks. Of all the barn residents, she enjoyed Dee the most. JD had encouraged Cindi to take the horse for long rides when the mood struck. Afternoons roaming the ranch never failed to calm her mind.
Dee’s nostrils flared and she neighed, rousing the other horses. Cindi crooned to them as Sam jogged the last few steps to his mount.
“Hey, pretty lady.” He slid the door open and leaned against the rope stretched across the opening. The horse investigated, huffing as she passed her nose over his face and chest. For an instant, Cindi found herself jealous of the mare.