by Combs, Sasha
“William, before I got into politics, I served in an elite unit...Special Forces. I never said anything because I never thought it was pertinent. When I decided to come here, I packed like I normally would. You never know what you might need in secluded places so it’s always wise to be prepared for the worst.”
“Why valium Frederick? Did you really need to drug her?”
“I cut a five milligram tablet in half, so the dose wasn’t that much. Perfect for a girl her size. As for her emotional state...”
Frederick looked at Morgan as he described her behavior.
“William, she was distraught. Half the time her head was buried in her pillow and she refused to look at me. When I tried to get her to relax, she would say if that bear had succeeded and killed Pam, you would have never forgiven her. She was blaming herself for almost causing you to lose your wife and the baby. That’s some strong guilt. To much for a young girl to torture herself with. Look...I don’t know what happened up here but based on what we saw, your daughter paints a pretty clear picture. Which is the reason she’s kicking herself senseless with guilt. From the second she found out that you and Pamela were married, she’s been a terror on wheels, then she ran away from home. She isn’t a dummy, which is the reason she knows that much of what happened could be blamed on her.”
Frederick didn’t need to say another word because now William understood what his campaign manager had been tasked to deal with. While he’d been out checking the bears tracks to ensure that she wasn’t near the cabin, his campaign manager had been drying Morgan’s tears. In some strange way, William thought this had been good. If Morgan was feeling as guilty as Frederick claimed, it would have been to difficult for her to face her father. Maybe the tranquilizer is what she needed. He was hoping that the drug would do the trick.
“I’ve never needed anxiety medication. How long will the drugs affects last? William asked.
“She’s exhausted William. More than likely she’ll sleep until sometime late tonight. Actually, I wouldn’t be surprised if she sleeps clear through until morning. Frankly, I’m hoping for the latter. She has a lot on her mind to deal with, and right now, her dreams are better than anything I could ever give her.”
William understood. He pulled out the chair, to take his turn watching her, but Frederick stopped him.
“William...I can stay here. If Morgan wakes, I promise I’ll call you. Right now, it’s Pamela that needs you. She’s the one that needs the handholding.”
He couldn’t argue with that, but he hated having to leave his daughter.
“Thanks Frederick. Be sure to give a holler when she wakes. I don’t want her blaming herself and I’m sure Pamela will agree with me on this point.”
He nodded, then returned to sit on the floor beside her bed.
As William climbed down the ladder, he found himself thinking about some of the things Frederick had shared. His stint in Special forces would explain many things. The laptop computer and cellular phone that always picked up a satellite signal, and batteries that never seemed to wear out. Not once had Frederick complained about their surroundings, in fact, he looked at home, setting up his office wherever this journey landed them. William couldn’t stop himself from wondering what other secrets Frederick safeguarded. Then he wondered if he should really care. The man had been more than an employee. During these past few days, Frederick had been his friend and not once had he browbeat him over the choices that now threaten his campaign.
When William stepped away from the ladder, he looked around the room and there was no sign of Michael or Pamela. He walked towards the kitchen, then the open door leading to the bedroom. Right away, he spotted Pamela laying on top of the blanket. There was a woolen throw draped loosely over her shoulders. When Michael spotted him coming into the room, he stood, making his way towards the door.
As the two men passed each other, Michael leaned in to whisper something in a hushed voice.
“I couldn’t get her to go to sleep. Her eyes are closed but she’s just resting them.”
William nodded, then thanked his friend for all he’d done.
“I’m beginning to feel stretched.” William said in a tired voice.
“You can’t be with both of them at the same time William. Even you have limitations.”
William chuckled. This line had been a private joke between them; originating from the night he’d won his seat in the senate. While on the road crisscrossing his state on a bus with his campaign workers, a woman had presented him with a difficult question. The solutions would have required countless man hours to research, even then, he still wouldn’t be able to guarantee a positive outcome. When William looked at the middle aged single mother, he’d wanted to give her a truthful answer. He’d been schooled by his campaign manager at that time to avoid answering the difficult questions, but in this woman’s eyes William could see the heart of every person living in his home state. He wanted to be honest, so in his answer and in front of the cameras, he stated that as a senator, even he would be limited with what he could accomplish. The soundbite had ran on every cable and network news station. William’s campaign manager had been furious and he threatened to quit because William had not responded as he’d been directed. On many days after that question, William wished that he would have accepted his managers resignation because the rampant reporting of his truthfulness had been the turning tide in the senate race. People admired his honesty and after that, William led in the polls...all the way to the final election. He remembered Michael’s telephone call on the night that the first news station had run his famous comment. Michael had nothing but positive words for him and he’d cautioned him never to lose his moral compass. This is the person who was looking at him now. This is the man who’d been his friend for most of his life and he didn’t want to lose his friendship.
“Michael...” he said, in an asking tone.
Michael waved his hand in the air, smiling all the while he did this.
“We’re good man.” Michael said. “Go sit with my daughter...she needs you now.”
William’s tight smile hid the full extent of his joy. He nodded, then stepped back from the door. He turned around, then he heard the click from the turning chamber. Michael had closed the bedroom door. They were alone now, in the quiet of the bedroom. As William crossed the floor, he saw her body when she moved. Pamela was attempting to sit upright in the bed.
When her eyes fell on his face, a steam of tears flowed from her eyes like a faucet. She extended her arms, begging him to hold her. William rushed to her side, pushing the throw from her shoulders. He didn’t want anything getting in their way.
William could feel the heat of her breath as she nuzzled her head on his shoulder. Her arms wrapped tightly around his waist refusing to relinquish her grip. William soothed her by holding her with one arm while his free hand stroked her hair.
“There, there... You’re safe now. Nothing’s going to happen now that we’re here. You were brave darling, and what you did took guts.”
“It was foolish. That bear could have killed her all due to me. I didn’t even have the telephone on me like you’d instructed me.”
“Pamela...the phone wouldn’t have changed anything.”
“William...nothing I’ve done so far has changed anything. We’re in this mess because I continued to visit you long after the funeral. Even then, I knew what I was doing was wrong. Then to make matters worse, I slipped up by allowing myself to get pregnant.”
This argument was a dead duck, yet William understood her reason’s for revisiting the topic. Blame had to be placed on someone and she and Morgan each wanted to blame themselves.
“William, this entire idea of mines to stay here alone with Morgan could have ended with disastrous results. I cannot believe that I even suggested this to you. I’m even beginning to think that us running off getting married was a mistake.”
This time, William released his hold, allowing him to look her square in the face. He would
n’t have her sullying their decision to get married.
“Pamela, what’s done is done. And don’t forget, we were in love before the baby and before we got married. Eventually both of those events would have happened. For us, the timing was off but the outcome is still the same. I love you. I’ve loved you for a very long time.”
Pamela could still feel the residual affects from the adrenaline pumping in her veins, giving her courage to admit so many things.
“William, we never even talked about alternative options when I told you that I’m pregnant.”
For William, this was the last straw.
“Pamela...with your upbringing, I cannot believe that you would even suggest anything that might harm you or the baby.”
Pamela knew that she would never end her pregnancy, but her point still remained. Not once did they talk about their options. Instead, they did the first thing that entered their heads. They stood in front of a judge, signed a few papers and that was that. Legally, the documents claimed that they were a married couple. On so many levels the ceremony itself was absurd. She wasn’t opposed to marriages, but Pamela had dreamed that her special day would hold real meaning. Not the ache that blamed her for all their worries.
“Pamela...” William needed her to snap out of it. He needed her mind in a safe quiet place.
“Darling...you’re right. I should never have left you here alone to deal with Morgan. That was my mistake. But anything else involving us and our baby...sweetheart, those things are not mistakes. You and Morgan are my life and I need you more now than ever. Honey...I’ve made an important decision. I’m pulling out of the race. Right now, I need to devote my time to you, Morgan and soon to our new baby.”
Fear shot through her like a bolt of lightning. Much like the fear she’d experienced when she noticed the bear, tottering through the brush from the trees. The feelings were eerily similar.
“William...you can’t do that. The senate...it’s your life. You’re good at your job. The country needs you. Massachusetts needs you. They will never forgive you if you step down without real reason.”
“You and Morgan are my real reasons. Honey...I cannot put a timeline on the relationship that I know one day will blossom between you two. It was crazy of me to think that in two days you could persuade my daughter to stop being a complete brat. Especially since giving you hell had become her favorite pastime. Morgan has given both of us a whole lot of attitude. But none of that matters. I’ve made up my mind and the decision is final.”
He smiled, then leaned forward, placing his lips on her forehead.
“William, you’ve worked so hard, just to throw it all away, on my account. I can’t allow you to do that. I won’t let you.” She said defiantly.
“So, now...whose being the brat?” he smirked and Pamela didn’t take the bait. She was deadly serious.
All afternoon they talked like this until William finally persuaded her to join him in the kitchen with Michael. But this time, her father played chef instead of her. Frederick had been right about Morgan. She slept like a log and only moved twice, to turn over to reposition herself in the bed.
When it got late, William tried to persuade Frederick to trade places with him because he didn’t want Morgan monopolizing his time. But Michael had offered to be the one to switch out with Frederick and share the Morgan watching duty. Without actually saying it, they each wanted William to spend his night with Pamela. The couple was dealing with a plate load of problems and they needed their combined support if they were to survive.
Practically all night, Pamela and William debated. She tried to persuade him to allow her to go away for a while, leaving him free to continue his campaign. William sternly stuck to decisions made while he’d been away at the other cabin. No matter what she said, Pamela did little to change William’s mind. This went on for a long while, with neither of them knowing the route their sounds would travel. Frederick had fallen asleep once his head hit the pillow, and the same could be said for Michael. What no one knew was that, somewhere around midnight, Morgan woke. She smiled when she saw the shadowed form of Michael laying wrapped in his sleeping bag near her bed. She wondered if he’d lost the coin toss, landing him on his current guard duty. As she fantasized about this, Morgan strained to hear what sounded like voices talking. She eased from her blankets, walking over to the wall farthest from her bed. The vibrations from the room below her echoed perfectly in between the beams of the structure. The pulsating sound was completely clear, but she knew who was talking and she understood the gist of their conversation. Morgan couldn’t peel herself away from the wall, which meant she heard practically every word spoken in the privacy of their bedroom. When their murmurs ceased, instead of voices she heard the sound of heavy breathing. At this point, she tiptoed back to her bed, careful not to wake her Uncle Michael.
Morgan eased the woolen blanket back in place, tucking her bandaged chin beneath the warmth. She didn’t fall back to sleep because the medication that Frederick had placed on the tip of her tongue had worn off. She’d been grateful for the chemically induced slumber, but now her brain toiled over all that she’d just learned. She needed this time to understand the meaning and how she figured into the big picture.
_________________________
Chapter 10
Reunions & Revelations
William had been thankful for small miracles because Frederick’s prediction had not come true. When the clattering sound of noise could be heard in the kitchen, followed by a light tap on his bedroom door; Pamela and William woke to find everyone was up and preparing for their journey. Michael had divided the remaining breakfast bars, bottled water, nuts and energy snacks for each camper. By the front door, Frederick had lined up their backpacks for quick inspections. Even Morgan was helping out. Her job had been to restock the travel first aid kits. They didn’t waste time, preparing a hot meal before leaving. Instead, William instructed everyone on what needed to be done to lock up the cabin.
Since Michael and Frederick had already gone through this drill before leaving the other cabin; they fell instep, completing their task in record time. Frederick chemically treated the outhouse, while Michael dug holes to rid the cabin of any garbage. They removed all the linen from the mattresses, returning it to the sealed storage areas. Later, Miguel and his work crew would return to clean and restock the place. With everyone chipping in, it took them half the time to complete the work and not one person complained.
Once they were finally on their way, every couple of hours, Frederick would insist they stop. His insistence was worse whenever they dared to skip one of their hourly breaks. He did this to ward off the threat of over exertion. He understood everyones desire to hurriedly get back to Barn Wood Hudson, in so many ways their feelings mirrored his own. He didn’t mind the hike but the memories that he conjured up were thoughts that he’d prefer to keep buried. In the Special Forces, Frederick had been involved in countless clandestine missions that were best described with two words, life threatening. On those missions, he would psych himself up by using his family as his reason to live. Running through a barrage of bullets, or swimming in snake infested waters was idiotic but he’d done these things. For the cause of his country, Frederick had risked his life. It was obligations like this that made him respect William and the difficult position he found himself in. It was also William’s concern for his family that made Frederick know with certainty, he would accept whatever choice William made. He would not argue nor would he attempt to change his mind because in the end, it would be William’s family standing by his side supporting him no matter what. Frederick could respect this because he had been faced with similar choices.
The trip back to the main house had used up all the day’s light. When the smell of wildflowers, daisies, chrysanthemums and dahlias wafted in the air; they knew that they were nearing one of the compounds gardens. This aroma was an energetic jolt, that infused a fresh new energy in all of them. Once they approached the tree line that s
urrounded the house, it was Morgan who took off running; wanting to be the first to announce their return.
When they all gathered in the mudroom, removing soiled boots, jackets and backpacks; Wallace cheered them on as if they were mountaineers returning with their Sherpas. While her husband congratulated them, Mildred instructed the kitchen staff to prepare a hot meal while the other servants removed their discarded travel gear, packing their things away in the basement storage room. After the shaking of hands, hugs and kisses, everyone disappeared to their suites, to get cleaned up by showering and changing into a fresh set of clothing. They were all to tired to sit through a formal dinner, so their laps held their plates instead of the dinner table. Voices pitched in varying modulations, often followed by comical laughter. It was clear they still weren’t ready to be separated so they avoided their individual bedroom suites by lingering in the sitting room longer. LaShawn used crafty courtroom tactics to needle bits and pieces, telling her what occurred while they were away. She noticed how defensive Pamela would become whenever her questions strayed in the direction of Morgan. From the moment they all arrived back at the house, no words had been said to suggest a peace settlement had been brokered; but there wasn’t any arguing, nor were there outward displays of anger or distrust. A steady even feeling hummed all around them. The emotion was felt most while they sat in the sitting room, laughing and talking quietly in small groups. When the false surge of energy was depleted, and physical fatigue kicked in, it was LaShawn who’d suggested they all retire to their rooms for the night. No one voiced resistance to the idea because by then fatigue had set in. When they traveled to the second floor paired up according to their room assignments, William drew his daughter into a hug. He kissed Morgan softly on the side of her face, whispering plans about a shared breakfast in the morning. She smiled while saying yes to the idea. As he stepped back from her, he noticed when a glance was shared between his daughter and Pamela. He still had not asked Pamela if misunderstandings had been cleared up, or if perhaps a shared agreement had been reached. Morgan’s restrained manner had been noticed by everyone in her company, yet he’d spotted her peering at Pamela whenever she thought no one was looking. William wasn’t sure if he should say anything because he saw no signs that would indicate Pamela and Morgan had completely recovered from their bear incident. He couldn’t talk about one thing without mentioning the other, and he didn’t want to prod for information, which left only one other course of action. William would have to wait until they each were ready to talk about those events.