by J. H. Croix
“I’ve already learned,” Cat chimed in. “I can teach her, and I don’t even have my license yet.”
“When is your driver’s license test?” Daphne asked.
Cat pulled out her phone and scrolled through her calendar. “In two weeks. Please don’t make me drive a stick shift for the test. I’m pretty good at it, but I don’t want to screw up.”
“You can take my car,” Daphne offered. “It’s an automatic SUV. Let’s make sure you get some practice in that for the next two weeks.” Daphne’s eyes slid to Flynn. “Give her a break on driving stick shift right now.”
It’s not like Flynn would say “no” to anything Daphne asked, so he quickly nodded. “Of course. You can be in charge of practice until she tests.”
Cat waved as she left the kitchen and headed to the private apartment. “Be right back, just wanna drop off my bag.”
The group gradually filtered apart until it was me, Flynn, Daphne, and Nora. Cat joined us again to eat, but she was busy voice texting with a friend, which was basically a phone call, but not really. Sometimes I felt ancient.
“You better get ready,” Nora commented.
“Get ready for what?” I countered.
“Your sister. Last time Harley was here, she had like three potential brides lined up for you. They were all her friends. You don’t think she’s going to bring one, do you?”
I groaned, leaning my head back. After a deep breath, I looked toward Nora. “How would I freaking know? She might try to get on my case about it, but she wouldn’t bring somebody with her without talking to me about it first. They’d need a place to stay. As it is, she’s taking Elias’s old room.”
“About time he cleaned that room out,” Daphne said with a soft laugh. “When’s the last time he actually spent the night here?”
“I can’t remember the last time,” Flynn commented.
“Yeah, he’s full-time with Cammi. I couldn’t be happier for him,” I offered.
Nora gave me a considering look. “What about you? I always figured you’d be the first to fall. Honestly, I’m surprised you don’t have kids already. You’ve got family guy written all over you.”
Flynn nodded. “That’s what I said.”
I shrugged. “Maybe someday.”
Nora grinned, a sly look entering her eyes. That’s when I knew she had another point. “What about Gemma?”
A vision of Gemma flashed through my thoughts—flushed, her lips swollen from our kisses, and her eyes hazy with need. The other night it had taken all of my discipline not to take her completely. I wasn’t about to share that with Nora. “What about Gemma?” I countered.
“Delia told me you took her to dinner the other night, and we all know you took her out for a flight,” Daphne chimed in helpfully.
Of course, I should’ve known they would all find out. Not that I minded all that much. “I like Gemma,” I said simply.
Flynn, who probably knew me better than anybody at the table, chuckled. “Diego takes things at his own speed.”
At that moment, the resort phone rang, Daphne stood, hurrying across the kitchen to answer it. The group slowly filtered apart. I was left with Flynn at the table as I finished my coffee. “Thanks for letting Harley stay here,” I commented.
“Of course,” Flynn replied. “She’s family, just like you.”
“You might regret saying that, depending on how long she stays,” I replied with a chuckle.
Flynn shook his head. “I won’t. She’s good people.” He regarded me quietly for a beat before offering, “You know, your habit of playing things casual doesn’t really suit your personality.”
“What do you mean?” I returned.
“Just that. I know your ex burned you, with what happened with your parents’ money, but you are a family guy. I’d hate you to miss out on that because you’re a little cynical.”
I shifted my shoulders and let out a sharp sigh. “Said by the guy who used to take cynical very seriously. Daphne’s really softened you up.”
Flynn shrugged easily, not even bothered by my observation. “Maybe that’s what I needed. Maybe you should think about what you need.”
Chapter Thirteen
Gemma
I was leaving my last yoga class for the day, driving home and looking forward to spending some quality time grooming Charlie. I found that to be a soothing activity. The dashboard in my car lit up with an incoming call. My older brother’s name flashed on the screen.
I tapped the button to answer the call. “Hey, Neal.”
“Hey, sis. How’s Alaska?”
“Beautiful. I hope you can come up for a visit sometime soon.”
“I’m planning on it. I’d like to make it before the snow flies.”
“How’s life treating you?”
My brother was one of my favorite people. He was smart, kind, and funny. He was also a kick ass attorney and handled cases specifically relating to environmental issues, his big passion.
“Life’s good. Busy with work.”
“What else is new?” I teased in return.
Although I couldn’t see him, I could feel his shrug and hear his smile in his voice. “Fortunately, I like working. You got a minute to chat?”
“Of course. I wouldn’t have answered if I didn’t. I’m in my car, just finished teaching my last class for the day, and I’m headed home to take care of the horses.”
“All right, then. I wanted to give you a heads up before you heard from anybody else.” Neal’s voice became somber.
An anxious foreboding slid like icy water down my spine, spinning around and tightening in my chest like a cold fist. “What’s up?” I asked, my voice sounding tense to my ears.
“The DA just filed charges against Coach Winston. It’s all over the news tonight in Portland.”
That cold fist clenched more tightly in my chest and a familiar sick feeling coated my belly. “What?” My lips felt numb as I formed that single word.
“They filed federal charges against Coach Winston. It’s a whole slew of them, some related to university code violations, and others criminal, including sexual assault against minors. It’s a big case. I wanted to warn you before you heard about it on the news,” Neal explained, his voice carefully level.
“Holy shit,” I said slowly.
“I told you my contacts let me know they were working on an investigation. If you want to talk to somebody, you could give them a call. There might not be any charges related to your case, but you could be a corroborating witness.”
My brother paused, and I sensed he was waiting to see how I would respond. I didn’t know how to respond. I took a deep breath, trying to quell the anxiety spinning inside.
“You don’t need to do anything,” he added. “I thought you might want to know that’s an option. They put a call out for any other victims to contact them. If you want my support, I can reach out to attorneys that represent victims like you and put you in touch with one. I’d be happy to do that.”
My brother’s calm and measured tone let me know he was worried. It also reminded me yet again that I was the one in my family everyone worried about. I hated that.
I took another breath, finally replying, “I’ll think about it. I never expected this to happen. I honestly can’t believe it.”
“What happened to you in high school, and the reports you and Janet filed did get the ball rolling. Even if it didn’t feel like it at the time. He’s been under scrutiny since then. Things like this take a long time. What can I do to support you?”
“You always support me, Neal. Just letting me know this was coming is huge. I’ll think about what I want to do and talk to you before I do anything.”
“Okay, call me when you’re ready to talk on it some more. Should we talk about the weather now?” he teased, mentioning an old joke between us. Whenever things got tense, we tried to talk about the weather.
I needed that just now. “It’s beautiful here today. I still haven’t gotten used to the
long days.”
“What time does the sun go down there?”
“Close to my bedtime,” I replied with a laugh.
My chest was still tight, and I felt a little sick, but I didn’t want to process my feelings with my brother at the moment. He knew me well enough to know that.
“Send me a picture of the sunset one of these days.”
“You got it.” I turned onto the road where I lived. “I’m almost home, so I need to go. I’ll talk to you soon, okay?”
“Of course. Love you,” my brother replied.
“Love you too.”
The line clicked off, and the music from the radio filled the speakers again. I took stock of how I was feeling. I felt strange, a little scared, and a little relieved at the same time.
As I went through my evening rounds of feeding the horses, I was grateful for the activity. I needed something to ease the restlessness threatening. It had been years, and I’d done a lot of work to get to a place where I was calm and steady most of the time.
Yoga helped, spending time with the horses helped, and trying to find my own fresh start helped. Yet, there was one thing I could never do—erase the past. I wasn’t trying to run from my past. I knew perfectly well that wasn’t possible. But still, sometimes I wished some things had never happened.
I’d never expected my former high school softball coach to face charges. And yet, apparently, he was. I couldn’t help wondering if he would slide out scot-free somehow. He had gotten away with his actions for years.
I had loved my team and loved softball so much. I didn’t even realize I was being groomed. That was a word I learned after the fact. Coach Winston was charming and funny, and he coached my high school team to two state championships.
He was also the first man who kissed me. The twisted saving grace in that situation was I wasn’t the only student he targeted. When I walked in on him with his pants down around his ankles and my friend with her face turned away, I’d been simultaneously struck with fierce anger, shame, and relief. The relief came from realizing it wasn’t just me, that I hadn’t been singularly responsible for what he did.
My friend and I agreed to tell our parents together. Our parents had collectively reported everything to the school and to the police, but nothing happened. Nothing. Happened.
Well, unless you counted the school hiring an additional assistant coach and establishing new rules that none of the coaches for any of the sports teams could be alone with any of the students at any point. Aside from just what a mindfuck it was to have a man who I trusted and admired violate me that way, the nothing that happened to him resulted in bitterness and an almost suffocating sense of powerlessness.
After that, my promising softball career that might have resulted in a collegiate scholarship crashed and burned. Although I thought it was crazy in hindsight, I had actually tried to stay on the team for my senior year. I got injured, and that was that.
That injury led me to yoga classes and eventually to what I was doing now. All along, the specter of what happened with Coach Winston was there. He never took things too far. It had only been three incidents. If there was such a thing as only in a situation like that.
I tried to act like a normal teenage girl. I tried to date. It wasn’t horrible, but I felt so out of place. I never felt like I could relax with anyone. I went on to college and still dated here and there. Sex was a mechanical exercise of going through the motions.
And now, years later, Coach Winston was arrested. After his high school coaching career, he’d gone on to greater glory with a college team and another championship. I wondered if he would somehow escape justice again and slide out from accountability. With the increased scrutiny in the media of mostly men in power abusing that power in sexual ways, I remember thinking none of it surprised me. Despite the alleged greater awareness in our society around these issues, I had little faith genuine change would happen.
I gave Charlie a last stroke along the side of his neck before going to check on Shasta. With the other two horses owned by others, I took care of feeding them, but that was it. Charlie and Shasta were owned by the owners of the barn, and they’d asked me to spoil them accordingly. I loved it.
“Hey, Shasta,” I said when I stopped in front of his stall.
He leaned his head over the stall door and nudged my shoulder with his nose. I stroked his forehead and slipped a treat out of my pocket. When I held it out on my flat palm, he nibbled it up. After he returned to chew on his evening hay, I made sure everything was put away for the night.
“Good night,” I called as I left the barn.
When I closed the barn door behind me, I stopped for a moment, absorbing the sounds of night falling. The swooshing sound of wings beating in the trees nearby, followed by the call of a raven, and an owl hooting in reply. There were no crickets in Alaska, which I thought was kind of amusing. I hadn’t expected to miss the sound, but I did.
My footsteps crunched on the gravel as I crossed the parking area over to the house. Scanning myself, I checked to see how I felt considering the news my brother had shared. I was surprised to discover I actually felt okay. The specter of what happened years before was something I had wrestled with already. Maybe, just maybe, I’d moved beyond it.
As I puttered in the kitchen, making tea and settling in on the couch to watch some television, I contemplated offering to be a corroborating witness if they thought it would help the case. I wasn’t ready to make the decision yet, but I was standing at the edge of it.
I returned to the kitchen to get some honey for my tea. Opening a cabinet, I was suddenly struck with the realization that this very place on the counter was where Diego had sent me flying. He had done what I thought impossible. He’d made me forget myself.
Chapter Fourteen
Diego
“Oh, my God,” my sister said, placing her hand over her heart for emphasis. “This is incredible, Daphne.”
Harley, my youngest sister, took another bite of Daphne’s concoction for the evening. She’d made this subtly spicy Thai stir fry with rice noodles, marinated chicken, and veggies. It was one of our staff evenings, and Harley’s arrival was well-timed.
Daphne smiled at her. “Glad you like it. Diego is my best assistant after Cat. Do you like to cook as well?”
Harley shrugged. “I could take it or leave it. I’m pretty good at it, because our mom made us all learn, but I’m definitely nothing compared to you.”
I chuckled. “None of us can compete with Daphne’s cooking. We all consider ourselves lucky that she fell for Flynn and decided to stay here.”
Harley smiled between them. “I’m so happy for you, Flynn. You seem a little less cranky.” It didn’t matter who it was, my sister was direct.
Nora almost choked on the sip of water she’d just taken. After she took another swallow, she smiled over at Harley. “I forgot how blunt you are. I love that about you.”
My sister laughed, brushing her almost black hair off her shoulders after she set down her fork. Her eyes whisked around the kitchen. “This place looks great. The last time I was here you guys were still finishing up some of the work.”
“There’s always work, but this main building is completely done,” Flynn replied.
“How long do we get the pleasure of your company?” Nora asked.
Harley let out a small sigh. “I don’t know. Joe and I broke up, which is definitely for the best. I’m a little betwixt and between with life. Most of my work is handled online, so I don’t need to stay in any one location. I figured I would come here and try to make sense of what I want to do next. Please tell me if I’m imposing.” She did transcription and translation for medical companies and loved it because she said the tedium helped calm her down.
“Absolutely not,” Nora said firmly.” Just like Diego, you’re family. Stay as long as you need. That bedroom doesn’t belong to anybody anymore.”
“What’s the scoop with Elias?” Harley asked, glancing around the table.<
br />
“He fell in loooove,” Cat chimed in as she walked into the kitchen, catching that question.
“Elias?” Harley’s eyes went wide. My sister knew all these guys, and Elias, of course.
“True story,” I said before reaching for my pint glass of beer and taking a swallow.
“Well, if Elias can fall in love, then so can you,” Harley said, her eyes lasering on me.
I bit back a groan. “Don’t start with that right away, please,” I muttered.
Nora giggled, her eyes glinting with mirth as she split her gaze between Harley and me. “Diego went on a date.”
I glared at Nora. “Is that necessary? If you keep this up, I’m not gonna consider you family anymore.”
My sister smiled widely. “I’ll grill him about that later. I have to be strategic.”
“Fuck my life,” I said, glancing to Tucker who sat beside me.
He snorted. “Dude, you shoulda seen this coming. Last time she was here, she was trying to sell you on a few of her friends.”
Fortunately, conversation moved along. I always loved these nights where we could kick back in the kitchen and relax. Although being a bush pilot in Alaska was considered a risky job, it felt pretty low-key to me. After being on active duty in the Air Force, being able to hang with friends and know my biggest worry was related to the weather and how it might affect our flight schedules kept stress low on my radar.
Later that night, after those of us who stayed in the new staff house had decamped to the living room there, Harley filled me in on her messy breakup with Joe, her college boyfriend who she’d stayed with for no reason other than convenience as far as I could tell.
“I couldn’t believe it. I literally walked in on him fucking Janine,” she explained with more annoyance than hurt in her tone.
“Would you like me to kick his ass?” I countered.
Harley shook her head. “No thanks, bro. It’s not worth the plane ticket to Texas. I threw my keys at him and scratched his ass with them. I didn’t mean to, but it was still funny.” She rolled her eyes and leaned back into the cushions on the couch. “Enough about me. Now, tell me about your date.”