by Villano, Mia
“He’s called and left voicemails, but I haven’t talked to him. I don’t ever want to talk to him again.”
The last time I saw Anthony was the night he asked me to marry him and I refused. It was the worst night of my life. That was three years ago before he moved to California. I heard he was back in town to take over the family funeral business since his dad was ill. I hoped to God that I would never have to look at him again.
“Are you dealing with what he did to you?” Avery and Anthony knew what happened that night that scarred me for life.
“I don’t know. I still have dreams and wake up yelling. I went through a lot of therapy and I just stopped. I mean, how many times can I go over that and talk about it? I had enough talking about it to the doctor. I’m so afraid of anyone seeing I was weak and asking me what happened.”
“If you find the right guy, he will love you no matter what. You have come a long way, Izz. You’re not weak. You’re a strong, independent woman that got lost for a minute.”
“I hate having to go through the whole night and bringing up the memories. Since I found out he has been home, I started having nightmares again. They aren’t bad; I just wake me up sweating and, of course, he’s usually chasing me.” We sat in silence for a few minutes, both in our own thoughts of that night.
“Don’t you think you should see a doctor again? Since he’s home I’m sure it’s making you stressed out and that is what’s causing the nightmares.”
“No, I don’t want to have to start talking about it all over. I think I have it under control. Let’s change the subject. I don’t want to think about him right now.”
“Want to go out tonight?”
“No, I’ll stay in. You said you have to study. I have a lot of thinking to do, especially a about whether or not I’m going back to my job on Monday. Let’s just hang out and watch that new movie we were going to order last week and fell asleep.”
“That horror one where he drives nails into his victims head? Yes, I could use a good scream. And about your job, I for one would go. What have you got to lose?”
“My head.”
“You won’t lose your head. Just have fun. That’s what life is.”
For Avery, life was daisies and sunshine every day.
“Want to go shopping in the morning?” I asked.
“Hell yeah! Let’s get some sexy lingerie for you in case you change your mind.”
I rolled my eyes and slapped her on the butt. She was right though. I would change my mind.
“Watch it. My ass is sore from the spanking Miss Barbie Doll gave me.” She turned and winked at me.
“You’re sick.” I laughed.
Chapter 7
Avery and I woke up early Saturday morning and went shopping before I reported into the family at the restaurant. We spent insane amounts of money at the mall, as we usually did. I splurged and bought some new lingerie and a new pair of heels. Saturday afternoon I went to the restaurant to help. They weren’t expecting me, but anytime I came I was welcomed to pitch in. My mom and I loaded the stock room, and I helped Marco make raviolis. It was a nice day and I was grateful I had my family when I needed them. My sister and I decided before I left to go get our nails done. Of course, she had to tan as well, but it was nice to spend some time with her.
“You’re tanning too much, Sophia,” I said. The nail tech smiled at both of us sitting side by side getting our usual French manicures.
“There isn’t enough tanning. I love being this dark. You should get a little color,” she said, as she inspected me up and down.
“No, thanks. I want to keep my skin wrinkle free and I don’t want melanoma at forty. I like my bronzer when I need it.”
“Please. That’s a lie. The beds are good for you. Aunt Gigi had all this information on how beneficial tanning beds were to your skin.”
“I’m sure she did. You could cool it for a day or week.”
My sister, unlike me at her age, had not had sex, at least that’s what she said. It’s not because of her looks; she's beautiful, even with her extreme Jersey Shore looks. Sophia is private and would rather spend time alone than with friends or family. She had dated many guys, but when they want to get in her pants she gives them the heave ho and moves on. I’m not sure why she was like that. None of us are.
Danny is the biggest player in the family and has a different hot blonde on his arm all the time. He’s the oldest and named after my dad. He turns thirty this year and still has no need to settle down. His choice in women is questionable. Some look like he ripped them right off the pole, as my mom says.
Marco, twenty-eight, is quiet and has dated a few but tends to keep them forever. Change or a surprise can send Marco in a tizzy. He’s been with the Gia for two years now and we are waiting for the ring to come out. He likes to act cool around his brother and my dad, but this is the girl for him. We loved her and she was forever with the family. Gia is Italian and my parents are thrilled.
I, on the other hand, have had a few men, a steady relationship with Anthony, and a few hookups here and there that only I know about. I love men and I love sex. I have been this way since I lost my virginity in high school with the bad boy named Dino Vabrizio. He was the boy that smoked in the restroom, skipped class, and looked fucking hot in his jeans and leather coat. He dumped me after we did it five times but what the hell. I’m glad he was my first.
After our nails, and a quick lunch, I dropped my sister off at home. I left and went back to my house. I was exhausted, confused, and needed some time alone. I figured I needed to make decisions on what I wanted to do. I was ecstatic to walk into my home and find it quiet. I took the opportunity to take a long bath with a glass of wine.
I couldn’t relax; Monday was right around the corner and I had to try to decide whether to go back to my job. Did I want that? Obviously not or I would have quit earlier. No, I didn’t want to quit. I wanted to work with him. I wanted to be alone with him. I should have gone to dinner with him. No, I needed to be calm. I needed to get through the weekend, clear my head, get started at my new position with a positive attitude, and see what happened.
It was after midnight and I just got off thinking of him using my vibrator. I may even have yelled his name when I came. I had to in order to get some rest. I was in need of an orgasm and the thought of his cock pressed up against me helped it along. I was in bed, half asleep, watching my favorite show. I was startled when my phone buzzed with a strange number sending me a text.
Thinking of you.
Who’s this?
The Frenchman
How did u get my #
I have ways
Creepy. How can I be sure it’s you?
That caramel tasted wonderful on ur finger.
It’s u.
Dinner with me tomorrow?
Dinner with the family
Go for coffee with me
Maybe
I will be there at seven
I said maybe.
Maybe means yes.
I will text you my address
I have it
Creepier
See u tomorrow. Sleep well beautiful.
I rode to the house the next afternoon to have Sunday dinner with my family. My dad was up and cooking with Marco. I already told myself I was not going to eat much. I was nervous for my date with Fabrice and I didn’t want to look bloated, although they would notice when I passed on the bread. Sunday was a big deal and we ate all day. It was nothing to have up to fifteen people at the table. My dad’s sisters, their husbands, and my cousins would pop in anytime. When we were younger, it was mass in the morning first before anything. Now that we are older, my mom and dad go alone. My dad was cooking homemade spaghetti with meatballs, homemade antipasto, and chicken parmesan. He tied a scarf around his head and had on his favorite apron with the Italian flag on the front. Frank Sinatra serenaded us as I was tempted to grab a hunk of bread and dip it in the sauce.
“Izzy! How is my beautiful girl tod
ay?”
I walked over to the coffee pot, grabbed a cup of coffee, and left the bread.
“Great, Dad. Glad to be home with you guys.” I walked over and kissed him on the cheek. His cheek was rough with stubble, and I smelled his familiar aftershave he’s worn since I could remember.
“Glad you’re here. How’s the job?” I didn’t want to bring it up. I didn’t want him to see the look on my face when I said Fabrice.
I discussed the first two weeks working for the Attaché of France while we sat around our huge dining room table and ate. My brothers and cousins thought it was hilarious that I had to work for the Attaché and not the handsome Ambassador. They would have something to joke about for days.
“Ha, only you, Izzy, wanting to switch jobs so you could work with the hot guy,” Marco snorted. I threw a piece of bread at his head.
“All right you two, that is enough!” barked my dad. Marco and I were always in trouble together and mostly while we ate.
“Do you know where you are going Monday? Did the other woman accept the bribe?” asked Marco trying not to laugh.
“Yes, Marco, I’m going up your ass with a bat. I didn’t bribe her,” I said.
“Izzy, please not while we are eating,” my other chided. “Your cousins don’t need to hear that talk. Izzy, why are you not eating? Are you feeling all right?
I was waiting for that. I knew she would notice I ate salad and nothing else.
“No, I’m not sick. I had a big breakfast. I’m learning so much and what is involved in working for the government.
“I don’t know why you couldn’t have worked for the Italian Ambassador. Those French can be a pain the in the ass,” said my dad.
“Well, Fabrice isn’t, Dad, and the Attaché is pretty cool for an old guy.”
“Attaché- isn’t that like a bag?” asked Marco.
“Yes, it’s a bag to put your balls in, Marco! Shut up,” I said.
“Isabella Annamarie Piori, that’s enough with the language! I don’t want to think about your brothers balls while I’m eating. Sister Marie would roll over in her grave if she heard you talking like that and on a Sunday!” yelled my mom. Clearly my mom thought the nun reference would guilt me into acting like a classy lady.
“Mom, she would be rolling around every day if she knew some of the things I said and did.”
“All right, enough of this. I’m trying to eat.” My dad was not open to me talking like one of my brothers. I have for years and it made him uncomfortable.
“You watch that weasel, capiche? I know how those French can be, ambassador or not. If I have to, I will set him straight. You just let me know if he gets out of line. I’m surprised he hasn’t already.” My dad was shoving bread in his mouth, covered in sauce and talking at the same time.
“I’m twenty-five years old, Dad. I know what I’m doing.”
“Twenty-five or fifty-five, I don’t care. I will wipe the floor with his puny French ass if he isn’t upstanding.”
I tried not to laugh. My two uncles decided they would back my dad up if they had to by agreeing with him. It was like eating with the Soprano’s.
My mom was serving dessert when a sense of fear swept over me and I smelled why. The obnoxious smell of his cologne brought instant fear. Anthony was near me and I became irritated, shocked, and pissed off. My body began to shake uncontrollably inside. The sound of his voice made me want to vomit. He hadn’t been to our house since our breakup three years ago. Since our house was so big, we didn’t lock the doors and people we knew walked in, especially on Sunday. Anthony still thought he could do the same. I was afraid to turn around. I didn’t want to look at him. I hadn’t looked at him since that night.
Marco was the first to notice him.
“Anthony. What are you doing here? I thought you lived in California?
“Hey, Marco. I moved back to help my mom with my dad. He’s not doing so well with his MS. I wanted to see if Izz was here. The door was open, and I thought it would be okay to say hi.”
“She is but you don’t need to see her. Is there something I can do for you?
“Come on, Marco. I want to talk to her. I haven’t seen her in so long.”
My safe place was invaded by this idiot. All those nights I stayed in to avoid him seemed useless since he was standing in my parents’ house. I got the nerve to look behind me. He was wearing his basketball shorts and a t-shirt. He was tanned as usual, pumped up from lifting, and of course his barbed wire tattoos peaked out of his shirt sleeve. His hair was still in the blow up style. Looking at him, I don’t know what I saw in this guy. He was so immature and just like all the other guys I grew up with. I couldn’t see his eyes because they were hidden behind his usual sunglasses, which he wore all the time. My brothers came out from the kitchen as I walked up to him nervously.
He smiled as soon as he saw me. I on the other hand did the opposite. I couldn’t show any emotion to him. If I showed fear, which he loved, he would pick up on it. If I showed happiness, he would do or say something to make it go away.
“Hello, Anthony.”
“Izzy, you look beautiful.” He bent in to kiss me and I moved away from him. He would not kiss me again in his lifetime.
“Can we go somewhere and talk?” he asked.
“No. Whatever you want to say, you can say it here. I’m not comfortable going anywhere with you.”
He didn’t like that answer by the seriousness his face became. He was lucky I didn’t tell my family what he'd done to me.
“I’m taking over the funeral home. I wanted you to be the first one to know.”
“I really don’t care. How could you think I would give two shits what you’re doing?” Everyone looked at me, including Anthony.
My brothers kept a watchful eye on us. I told them bits and pieces of our relationship. They knew he liked to drink, humiliate me in public, and he cheated. I didn’t want to upset them with what happened that night. I hid it well.
Standing in his presence brought up that night I had worked so hard to forget; the night I almost died because of him. I was not going to go back two steps after I moved forward. I refused to let this asshole think that I forgot what he did to me. He was not going to think he could march back into my home and my life like nothing happened.
“You look beautiful. I heard you’re working for the government.” Of course, he heard. He was monitoring me and I was scared.
“Yes, I am.”
I didn’t know what else to say. With him standing in front of me, I wanted to leave. My fear of him was beginning to turn into hatred and anger.
“Izz.”
“Don’t call me that anymore.” I hated how he called me Izz.
“What are you too good for Izz now?”
“I prefer Isabella. That’s my name. I hated Izz and you knew that.”
He laughed that laugh that told me the insults would be coming soon.
“Listen. I have things to do. Tell you mom and dad hello. Please leave me alone from now on. I don’t have anything else to say to you.” I turned away from him and walked out of the room.
“Anthony, let’s go. I don’t like that you’re making Izzy uncomfortable.” Danny had his arms crossed to make them look bigger.
“Don’t you mean, Isabella?” Anthony laughed.
My dad heard him and came out from the kitchen wiping his hands on his apron. He, unlike my brothers, wasn’t as nice.
“What the fuck is going on here? Anthony, I thought I told you to stay the fuck away from Izzy and this place.” He loved Anthony before I told him how he cheated and how obsessive he had become of me.
“Sorry Mr. Piori. I wanted to tell Izz, Isabella, I’m taking over the funeral home.”
“Well, you did that. Let’s go. I’ll walk you out myself.”
My dad grabbed his arm and started heading to the door. My brothers and uncles started to follow, but my dad put his hand up to stop them. They were outside for quite a while and I heard him peel out of
the parking lot.
My dad came back inside and his face was bright red. I could tell he was pissed off. He walked into the living room where I sat with my mom and sister.
“Izzy, I want you to tell me if that fuck bothers you. I want to know if you see his car or anything that is his anywhere near you. Let’s start locking this goddamn door! I’ve been asking you to do that for years and no one listens to me.”
I was visibly upset, though I tried my best to hide it. My mom knew better. She asked if I wanted to go for a walk and get some fresh air. We did and I felt somewhat better. We talked about Anthony and she knew there was more to the story. I just couldn’t tell her yet. Seeing Anthony brought back that horrible night. It was one of the worst nights of my life. It was a day that ripped me apart when I had to relive it. I just wasn’t ready to relive it yet.
***********
I left close to four and raced home as fast as I could. Avery was cleaning her room when I walked in.
“Hey, girl. What’s up?”
“Nothing. What are you up to? Cleaning is so unlike you.”
“Ellen is in charge of the battered wives charity event and asked if I could get some clothes together to give away. You know how I hate to part with my things.”
“I know, but it’s for a good cause. Plus, you get new things every day. I may have some clothes too, so let me know before you take it.” I sat on the edge of her bed.
“So, how’s the family?” she asked.
“The same as they were yesterday. Anthony stopped over and walked right in the house.”
She stopped what she was doing and took a sip of her water.
“Fuck. Did your parents wig out?”
“My dad did, escorted him out the door. Avery, he was so creepy. He had the look on his face he had that night. I started shaking and my mom and I had to go for a walk. Christ, I don’t want to ever see him again.”
“I wish he would have stayed in California. No one wants him here.”
“I need to keep away from him. I think he was drinking. He smelled like beer, but enough about him. I have a coffee date tonight with someone, so I’m going to get ready.”