by T. Rudacille
***
“Did you hear that Donovan died last night in his sleep?” Rachel asked me the following morning.
“I did.” I stirred the pot of water boiling in front of me, showing no discernible emotion in response to that piece of news.
“They're saying he was just injured too severely.” Tony, another one of my friends said, “He went peacefully. Didn't deserve it, if you ask me. And I know if I ask you, you’ll say the same thing.”
“No. He did not.”
I looked towards the end of the room where James was playing a game of cards with Frank, Quinn, Tony’s boyfriend, Tom, and the rest of security detail. They were not making another trip to the campsite that day and the little farm work they had volunteered to do had already been finished. We were chopping, mincing, stewing and baking the fruits of their labor.
James's eyes met mine several times throughout the morning. In them, I saw a recognition, a suspicion that would be voiced at the earliest convenience. That night, I was sure he would question me about Donovan's death.
I could not understand how most people found it so difficult to act coolly and rationally after taking a life. My face did not betray the slightest indication of what I had done. I did not jump nervously or flinch upon hearing the news of Donovan's death. I simply acted as I always did. I simply emptied my mind of what I had done.
Above all else, I felt no guilt. Because of that alone, I should have worried. I should have acknowledged then that Adam's assessment of me was correct. I should have begun trying to morph my frigid heart into whatever it had been before. But then, it had always been so cold.
“So, did you do it, Brynna?” James asked me that night.
I screwed up my face in mild confusion and continued to brush out my wet hair.
“Did I do what, James?” I asked calmly with a high note of curiosity in my voice that was only just convincing enough.
“Did you kill him?”
“Who? Donovan?”
“Yes.”
“No, but I wish he had. He died in his sleep.” I replied easily, “You know that if I were to kill him for what he did to Penny, there would be nothing left of him.”
“Are you lying to me?”
“That is rude, James.”
“Maybe so. But are you?”
“No.”
“Are you sure?”
“God or Gods, yes!” I exclaimed in frustration, “How can you even ask me this? How can you even suspect me of doing something like that?”
“Because Donovan was a disgusting excuse for a human being, and he wronged you when he went after Penny. That's how.”
“I was here with you all last night. I was asleep. Nature just took its course with him. What I find so very odd is that we cannot accept that. We are so used to strange and unsavory circumstances that we cannot accept that a man met his death in his sleep.”
James sat down beside me and grasped both of my hands.
“I know you weren't here with me last night. You were gone for an hour.”
My heart plummeted, but I did not show even a hint of that new discomfort on my face.
“So, let me ask you again: Did you kill him?”
I stared at him for a long while. After several minutes had passed, I shrugged in apathy. I was not sorry.
He nodded and broke his hold on my hands.
“That's what I thought.” He muttered as he laid down in bed beside me.
“So, what now?” I looked over at him and awaited an answer.
“Now, we can only hope that they don't find out. Otherwise, we're out on our asses. We're going to be feeling around in the forest, looking for a place to live where they can't get at us. You didn't think this through at all, did you?”
“I did. More than you could know.”
I crawled up behind him and wrapped my arms around his middle. I kissed his shoulder and laid my head down.
“Everything will be fine. I covered all the bases, as they say. Given their lack of a forensic investigator, they will never know that I was there. Even if we had an entire crime scene investigative team, they would find nothing. Alright?”
My hands were rested on his chest. His came up to grasp them.
“You're sure?”
“Positive.”
“Alright, then.”
“You're alright with this?”
After he had turned over to look at me, I saw a steely ice hanging about in his normally warm brown eyes.
“If it had been you, I would have destroyed him. There would have been nothing left of him.”
I smiled slightly and climbed on top of him. My hair was hanging in my face, and he moved it away as I leaned down to kiss his lips gently.
“I know.”
Nothing more came of Donovan's death.