by Paul Kater
do."
Rebel materialised in the cabin and stared at the purple couch. "Whoa. That's... retro."
"No, it's a couch," Hilda said. "What's up?"
Rebel kept staring at the couch. "The ship decided to move away from the rock and I wanted to let you know that we're going to eat so maybe you want to join us."
The witch and the wizard exchanged looks. "Yes. Food would be a good idea," Hilda said.
"It's so cool," said Rebel, "the way you can talk to each other without talking. Really froopy. Want me to pop us over to the mess?"
"Sure." Hilda shoved Grim on her shoulder and got up. William got up too, Obsi on his arm. Rebel held out an arm, they took it, and a moment later they were in a large hall. It was not a room, it was a hall. All the crew of the Mimosa was there, Maurizio was there, and even with the three of them added the hall was barely in use. There were several dozen of very long tables, all laid with white tablecloths and what looked like silver cutlery. On either side of the immense lengths of table were chairs.
"This place can harbour too many people," William stated as he looked over the overgrown seating arrangements.
"We suspect it fits three thousand," Maurizio said, who had joined them. "So far we have not managed to tell the Mimosa that fifty is more than enough. Come, follow me, I will show you the - ehm - kitchen."
They walked over thick red carpet towards a brown door that seemed to open and close by itself as soon as someone got near it. The two cats went on their private expedition, while Hilda and William followed Maurizio and Rebel into what they called the kitchen.
A room, more a small hall welcomed them. Everything inside it was so clean it would be the envy of a hospital. And the hall was large.
"Is it me or does this look larger on the inside than from the outside?" Hilda asked William as they tried to understand the concept.
"You're right and my mind is revolting against it," William agreed.
The disabled witch nodded. "Good. Then it's not just me."
Maurizio offered Hilda his arm. She wrapped her arm around William. The captain smiled and nodded. "Perdonne," he said, "I would like to show you around. And please try to ignore the size of our kitchen, it will play tricks on your sanity."
"And it got to him," one of the sailors said as he passed them with two plates of food in his hands.
Hilda looked at the food and wiggled her nose. "Looks like you get to do some home cooking, William, I don't think I like what's served."
Maurizio laughed out loud. "Please come, my friends," he said as he led the way, Rebel in his wake. To their left there was a large column, dark wood at the bottom and painted white from roughly four feet up to the ceiling which was white also. To their right there were large cupboards with plates, cups, forks, spoons and more things that would serve well for a meal.What the cupboards were made of remained a mystery in white and light blue. Hilda and William stared at some cupboards that held things that they had never seen before, and they also could not even guess at what these things would be used for.
Rebel and Maurizio took some of the more recognisable items so the magical couple followed their lead. "Now come," Maurizio said again. "We will show you how you can obtain your food." He led the two to the central column which on two sides had small brass sliding doors, some strange panels, a few clusters of buttons and a display in the wall. The display at each spot was dark.
Rebel opened the small slide door and put her plate in it. She pushed a green button that lit up for a moment, then said something nobody understood.
Maurizio explained that Rebel used to order dishes from her own time. "This thing listens to what you want to eat and then makes it." By the time he had said that, the green button that Rebel had pressed extinguished. She opened the sliding door and took her plate. It was filled with something that looked as ominous as it smelled.
"What went wrong?" Hilda asked as she scowled at the stuff.
"Nothing," Rebel laughed, "this is good!" Hilda was glad Rebel took the gruesome wobblies away. It did a lot for the smell.
Maurizio popped his plate in the machine, punched the button and rattled something Italian. William caught 'ravioli' in that spray of words and Hilda just shrugged. Out of the machine came a plate of food that looked a lot more appetising than what Rebel had carried off.
"Hey, that smells nice, can you tell it to get me that too?" Hilda asked. Maurizio was glad to oblige, rattled his Italian again and handed Hilda the plate.
She then opened the slide door and looked inside. "There's magic here, William," she said. "There's nobody in there."
"It is a food replicator," said Maurizio. "It's automatic, not magic. You tell it what you want and it will make it."
"So how does it know all that?" William wondered.
The captain, who was already eating, shrugged. "I don't know. But it works. Try, Mr. Wizard, please."
"You can call me William," said the wizard. He popped his plate in the machine. Button lit up green. "Beans, mashed potatoes and a steak."
"And you can call me Moro," the captain said.
William looked happily at his plate.
"William, don't drool. Come, let's go and eat," said Hilda. Moro and William looked at each other as the witch marched out of the kitchen. The wizard grinned.
Hilda found a place at the table where Rebel sat. That was good. She got to sit opposite the woman, which was less good as that offered her a premium view on the strange mess that Rebel called food. Hilda wasn't even certain that everything was dead. She missed her magic. That would have helped her ignore the sight on the other end of the table. She saw William and Maurizio walk into the large mess and look for seats. Hilda glanced along the table which was fully occupied.
If William sits somewhere else, I am going to sit there too, she told herself. She had no qualms about being impolite: some things didn't change. But her magic was gone. She missed the feeling, the familiar tingle. And she missed the contact with her wizard.
Maurizio and William walked around one of the tables, when Maurizio stopped dead in his tracks as if he heard something. William was not prepared for such an abrupt end of their walk, so he bumped into the captain, spilling the contents of his plate partly over the man and partly over the floor. Magic prevented food from getting on the wizard.
"Oh, drat," William muttered as he whisked the mess away. Hilda watched it, nearly chewing her lip. Then, to both their surprises, Maurizio tossed his plate to the side and ran off.
"Not that again." Rebel didn't even get up, she just disappeared.
"Not what again?" the witch wondered.
Xander, one of the sailors, shrugged. "We never know either. We just wait until we nee-"
A sharp sound that all the makings of an alarm, including its effect on the sailors, went off. The sailors jumped up, chairs falling over and being ignored, and the lot hurried out of the mess.
Hilda, still sitting, looked at William. "What a mess."
9. A strange meeting
"Do you think we should go outside also?" William asked his witch, looking at the door through which the sailors had left. He was feeling robbed of his food.
"I am sure they'll call us when we're needed," said Hilda confidently. "Best that you go back and get some more food. And hurry, will you, it's sort of stupid to sit at this big table alone."
William grinned, drew his wand and cast a small spell. The table split in two parts, a huge part and a small part with Hilda at it and two lit candles on it. "I'll be right back, sweetwitch."
When he came back, Hilda stared at the lump on his plate. "Now what in the names of all witches I have known is that?"
The wizard sat down with his plate. "A burger from Sloppy Joe's."
Hilda's eyes seemed glued to the bits of bread, the blob of charred meat between them and the goo that seeped from it all. "And you are going to eat that?" If her face had not made it absolutely clear that she was abhorred with the prospect, the tone in her voice would have eradicated all
traces of doubt.
"Uhhuh!" said William, bringing the droopy hamburger in position for the first bite.
Rebel appeared. "I think you are going to love this," she said. When she disappeared, the witch and the wizard disappeared with her. The hamburger fell down, missing the plate. The result was one that Sloppy Joe would have been proud of.
William stared at his empty hands. "Holy Bejeebus, what-" Then he noticed the light.
The entire ship bathed in light. It was not your average run of the mill light. It was bright without hurting the eyes. It also was everywhere, no a spot was unlit. The light gave every shadow a shock.
Hilda tapped the wizard's arm and pointed. "Look." Hilda was not often so short on expressing herself, so this had to be something extreme.
Next to the Mimosa hung a white pyramid, its sides smooth and without any markings or visible openings. Black sailing ships and smooth white pyramids are a strange mix, and seeing such a chance encounter in space made it even stranger. The top of the pyramid seemed to be made of gold. The golden top seemed to reflect the ship-enveloping light from somewhere unseen. The whole thing was incredibly large. William estimated that the pyramid of Cheops would fit in there nicely. About fifteen times.
"What is that, and who put it there?" Hilda wanted to know.
"It's a pyramid, and apart from that it is big I don't know," said Maurizio, who had joined the slightly malfunctioning magical couple. "It is what made the ship sound its alarms though. And with reason. We can't seem to break away from