I walked into the club and went about my usual routine. I’d cleared the first three safes before I noticed a pile of coats on the floor on the side of the stage. Somebody musta been in here gettin’ some ass after hours las’ night.
Derrick walked out of the kitchen with a plate of leftova wings from last night.
“You know, Big Shirley was pro’ly savin’ those for her warm-up tonight.” I was referrin’ to Shiree, one of our top earners. This bitch had the phattest ass, the thickest Coke-bottle shape, and she ate like her ass had its own mufuckin’ stomach! Playfully, I named that monster ass “Big Shirley.” She would walk by and ya boy would be like, “Hi, Shiree, how ya doin’, Big Shirley?” I done seen Shiree stab a hole in anotha bitch back wit’ a stiletto ova some damn onion rings.
“They ain’t fa me, an’ she told me I could have ’em. We been waitin’ for the last two hours, nigga. What happened to thirty minutes?”
I was ’bout to remind Derrick who the fuckin’ “captain” of this ship was, but I was still stuck on the “we” part of his sentence. “What the fuck you mean, ‘we’ been waitin’?” I saw movement out of the corner of my eye by the stage and was ’bout to make my way to the office for my burner.
Derrick walked toward the stage. “Big Baby said he wandered in las’ night right after we left.”
It wasn’t until then that I saw the li’l scrawny kid who had apparently been sleepin’ on a pallet made from old, unclaimed coats. He cautiously approached us, crusty-eyed and still groggy. He was wearin’ Rocawear blue jeans and a Coogi polo shirt. They were a little big on him, but people who neglect their kids don’t dress ’em from head to toe in name-brand labels.
“What the fuck, D? Why ain’ somebody take him to a shelter or the police station? What, this look like Daddy Day Care to y’all niggas? That ain’t a fuckin’ puppy, it’s a kid, now get him outta here!”
I started to walk toward my office. I wasn’t expectin’ to hear any objections. I was shocked when Derrick walked over and blocked my path. His tone was angry and he had the nerve to grit his teeth as he spoke. Like he ain’ know a mufucka would snatch him up and straighten him the fuck out quicker than hummingbirds fuck.
“Nigga, his momma sent him here. Danita. Nigga, she locked up an’ ain’t got no one else to watch out for him. She promisin’ she won’t talk if you’ll look out for her only son. Given y’all’s history an’ the shit she know ’bout our operation, at this point I think it’s fair to say we can’t shut her up. If she decide to talk, too many of the blues we pay off scared to do any favors an’ we got no way of gettin’ to her, so let’s jus’ make her happy and find the li’l nigga a spot.”
Somethin’ told me I shoulda killed that bitch. Now she was makin’ demands? I ain’t even know she had a son. I didn’t like ultimatums and I damn sure didn’t negotiate. But I was a calculatin’ mufucka. If Dee’s son was under my care, it was pretty obvious she wouldn’t dare breathe a word ’bout anything to anyone.
“Li’l nigga.” I walked toward the boy who was watchin’ us intently. I was sure he’d heard our convo. He knew what was up. As I approached him, I felt some of my edge soften. He had to be ’bout eight, scrawny as hell, with curly black hair. Hell, I had a son too, and he reminded me of Trey.
“Li’l nigga, what’s ya name an’ how old are ya?” He looked up at me and my breath caught. He had her light brown, slanted eyes, thick, dark lashes, square chin—he was his momma’s son. I almost felt ashamed of what I did to her face after seein’ it reincarnated on him. But what’s done was done.
“So you ain’t gonna ans’a me?” He was still silent, starin’ at me blankly. I was on the verge of gettin’ pissed. . . .
“Five. Sir.”
I could barely hear his shaky reply.
I was six four and he stood almost to my waist. I woulda sworn he was older. I felt myself calmin’ down. It was bad enough he had a ho for a momma, some trick he pro’ly ain’t even knew for a daddy, and now this.
“D, he stays wit’ you until we figure somethin’ out, so go ahead and send word to his momma.”
All Closed Eyes Ain’t Sleep
16
I’ll tell you what, a nigga’s work ain’t neva done. After Derrick left with the kid, I placed a few business calls. Looked like there wasn’t gonna be a count today. Apparently sales were down due to those bad batch scares and anotha one of my niggas was picked up afta one of the damn fiends who got a bad hit decided to drop dime on who sold it to ’em. I put my cell down on the bar and looked aroun’ the empty club. This was my empire. I’d made a lot of money. Maybe it was time I got out while I was still on top. Not quit, jus’ retire. My phone lit up. It was Honey.
“Hey, daddy, I miss you. I gotta work tonight? Are you gonna pick me up, ’cause I need to grab some things from the house.”
I forgot I’d left Honey at the damn hotel. Yeah, she really needed that car, ’cause a nigga was not feelin’ a drive ’cross town and back. I cleared my throat.
“I got a betta idea. How ’bout you take tonight off an’ we go shoppin’, maybe grab some food or see what kinda Jacuzzi that hotel workin’ wit’?” Jus’ then Michelle beeped in. “So, go get ready, I’ma be there in a few.” I switched over to Michelle. “Hello, sleepin’ beauty. Glad to see I ain’ put ya ass in a coma.”
Chelle laughed and I could hear Trey in the background yellin’ for me. Suddenly all I wanted to do was be home with my family.
“I’m cookin’ lasagna tonight. Maybe you can skip workin’ an’ come spend some time with me an’ Trey?” She sounded so hopeful.
I had a flashback to our shower and her lyin’ on the bed in the sun. “Baby, Derrick had to go handle some biz so I’m runnin’ the club tonight. Let me jus’ get us open an’ I’ll be there soon as I can get a nigga in here to close it down for me, okay?” I could tell she was disappointed with my answer. I knew I couldn’t fuck up right now; a nigga was on probation.
“Okay, Rasheed. I’ll just see you when you get home.”
I hung up and called Big Baby as I started walkin’ out the door. He was gonna have to run this ship tonight. There was a car dealership that ran money for me when I needed clean bills. We also had product stashed in the door panels of a few cars for out-of-state runs and dry spells; that’s when good shit gets scarce in the area. This was gonna work out perfect. I could give Honey one of those to drive and we would be even without me eva breakin’ bread. I hit my boy Roman and let him know I was on the way.
I pulled up at the hotel and called to let Honey know I was outside. I didn’t get an answer. While I parked the car I thought, Why it feel like I’m always fuckin’ or fetchin’ somebody? I was outside Honey’s room and was ’bout to knock, but heard her on the phone.
“I wish I could come help you too, but he on his way to get me now. We goin’ shoppin’.” She paused and giggled. “Well, I guess you gon’ have to put some ice on it then, huh?”
Who the fuck was she talkin’ to? I ain’t want anyone to walk up on me eavesdroppin’ outside her door, so I knocked and listened as she lowered her voice. “He here. Text me, okay?”
Honey opened the door, excited to see me.
“Hey, daddy!” She jumped toward me for a hug and circled her arms aroun’ me.
I didn’t hug her back. “I called to tell you I was outside, why ain’t you answer?” I swore on my life, if this bitch was fuckin’ anotha mufucka . . .
“Huh. Oh, I was on the phone wit’ my girl.” She walked over to the bed and started gatherin’ up her purse.
I walked up behind her and grabbed her roughly by her shoulders. I knew I was fuckin’ up. My jealousy was gettin’ the best of me. I was showin’ too much emotion.
“Don’t fuckin’ lie to me. Has anotha nigga been in here?” I looked at the messed-up bed, at towels on the floor, everything looked suspect.
“I swear, Rasheed, no one was here. I’m not seein’ anyone. I told you, I love you, baby. You are the best thang that’s e
va happened to me.”
There were tears wellin’ up in her eyes and I thought, Why get so upset? Calm down. I was jus’ with Michelle anyway, so even if she was lyin’, fuck it. Now we even.
I let go of her shoulders and pulled her toward me. I hugged her and inhaled, tryin’a detect cologne or anything masculine. My mind was semi at ease when all I could smell was that warm vanilla scent that was all her. Time for damage control.
“I’m sorry, baby, I be gettin’ worked up ova nothin’. It’s jus’ hard fa me ’cause you so fuckin’ fine an’ I’m worried one of these younga, betta-lookin’ niggas is gonna come snatch you up one day.” I leaned down and kissed her softly on the lips. She poked her bottom lip out in a cute pout and then kissed me back. I already knew where this was gonna go if I didn’t stop it, so I broke away from the kiss and placed my lips on her forehead.
“Let’s go get this car, okay?”
* * *
The dealership was only a ten-minute drive from the hotel. Pullin’ up, I saw a jet-black Impala with dark tint and chrome accents. It had a huge red ribbon tied ’round it. My boy Ro was good. We got outta the car and I walked Honey over to it. Her eyes were the size of saucers, and I could tell she wanted to ask me if this one was for her but didn’t wanna seem overly anxious, or like she was aimin’ too high.
“Dawg, how you been?” Ro called out as he walked toward us. Roman was a short, midnight-black, chubby li’l nigga. We used to call him Magilla Gorilla in school. Derrick was the one who realized he could be of use a few years back when a few major suppliers went down and it was next to impossible to move shit in or out of the area wit’out bein’ flagged. I always did all the deals and Derrick always handled the product supply once we got it. He saw one of those trucks that carries cars to the dealerships and thought of Ro. This nigga was always on our dicks in school; tryin’a help with this, or askin’ ’bout that. He’s what I called a fairy tale hustla, and we the closest he would eva get to actually doin’ any real hustlin’. It was easy: I paid the overhead for Ro’s dealerships and, in return, if we needed to move supply, we simply loaded up a truck with hot cars and shipped ’em over to a sister dealership where one of my boys would unload and hit the street. Nothin’ to it.
“What up, Black?” I reached out and shook his hand. “Dis is Honey, wifey.” I smiled over Honey’s head and gave Ro a wink. She was grinnin’ from ear to ear, too excited to stand still. Ro looked at Honey like he just ate an entire double chocolate cake and she was a tall, ice-cold glass of milk. She’d had her suit dry cleaned at the hotel and was lookin’ like a million.
“Hi, Mr. Ro, nice to meet you.” Honey reached to shake Ro’s hand and he grabbed it and placed a kiss on the backside.
“A’ight, Casanova, that’s enough, nigga.” I put my arm aroun’ Honey’s shoulders. “Let’s get my baby the keys so she can get a feel fa her new whip.”
While Ro went inside to get the keys, I decided to get Honey’s opinion of the car—not that I needed it.
“Wha’chu think, baby, is it what you had in mind or betta?”
She had her face pressed up against the glass, lookin’ at the interior. Her phone was buzzin’ in her purse, but she didn’t budge a muscle. “Daddy, I ain’t got words right now, I’m so fuckin’ happy. Oh my gosh!”
It felt good to make her happy. My phone started vibratin’. It was Derrick.
“Whatup, daddy daycare, you good?” I could hear a lot of noise in the background.
“Rah, yo, this li’l nigga trill!” Derrick was laughin’ in the phone. “He playin’ the Xbox an’ he lovin’ it. I hit the club, but they said you weren’t there. I got a drop scheduled tomorrow a.m. I figure we need fresh prod’ for the streets, but I ain’t gonna be able to get it wit’ the kid.”
I actually forgot all about the li’l nigga. Ro was makin’ his way toward me. “D, lemme think on it an’ I’ll hit you in a few, a’ight?” I hung up jus’ as Ro handed Honey the keys. She looked at me to see if it was okay to take ’em and I nodded. That was all she needed. Honey unlocked the driver’s side door and hopped in. I looked over the roof of the car at Ro.
“We good on that paperwork?” I was referrin’ to the fifty pounds of coke hidden throughout compartments in the car.
“Yessuh, we square as bricks.” I laughed at Ro attemptin’ to talk hood.
“Nigga, bricks ain’ square, they rectangle, a plain ol’ yes woulda did jus’ fine.” I looked into the car. “Baby, I got some work to handle. How ’bout you drive ya’self home an’ get whatever you need for the rest of the week an’ meet me back at the hotel. Might as well work your shift so you can earn some gas money.”
Honey was so caught up in the car she barely answered me. I needed to work somethin’ out to cover this drop in the A.M., get back to Chelle before I fucked up again, an’ somehow get back outta the house to see Honey at the telly later. I got into my car and headed home to surprise Michelle.
Smooth Criminal
17
I couldn’t help feelin’ déjà vu as, once again, I pulled into an empty driveway.
“Okay, what the hell is goin’ on roun’ here?” My words went unanswered in the empty house. I walked into the kitchen. The lasagna was covered and sittin’ on the stove, and a half-empty bottle of wine was sittin’ on the counter. I pulled out my cell and speed dialed Michelle’s number, listenin’ to the entire chorus of “Love All Over Me” twice before her voice mail picked up. I tried one more time. No answer. A nigga wasn’t even hungry anymore. I turned on the TV to see if any games were on and sat down in my leather recliner, starin’ at the screen but not really seein’ it. I texted Derrick to let him know I’d handle the drop, and asked him to call and check on Big Baby at the club. His reply was word. He musta been ova there tryin’a childproof his bachelor pad or figure out how to cook SpaghettiOs.
Wheneva I couldn’t think somethin’ through, or I needed a moment of peace, a shower always helped me refocus. I poured a glass of Merlot thinkin’ that lasagna was pro’ly on point ’cause Michelle’d used half a damn bottle in the sauce. I walked into the bathroom and started the shower. I called Honey while I sipped on my wine and waited on the water to get hot, but hung up before she could answer—she was pro’ly at work already.
I stood completely under the showerhead and let the hot water run through my hair and down my body. So, Danita had a kid and I needed to find his ass a home. He couldn’t stay wit’ D forever. Figured the first and best thing to do would be find the li’l nigga’s daddy. How the fuck was I gonna do that? I didn’t even know where to start lookin’.
Dee knew my drop rotations. She could testify ’gainst my whole operation, even drop me on a few bodies and close some unsolved cases. I was lost in my thoughts. So lost, I didn’t hear the door open or hear Michelle slide in the shower behind me, similar to the way I’d slid in on her. Before I could turn or speak I heard her draw in a sharp breath. She was eye to eye with the passion marks on my neck and back.
I didn’t have time to block the first slap that landed hard against the side of my face an’ ear.
“Nigga, you said you were workin’. I let you fuckin’ touch me an’ you been fuckin’ anotha bitch?”
Michelle was yellin’ and a nigga ear was ringin’. I was tryin’a think extra fast. I turned to face her and grabbed her by the wrist.
“Yo, Chelle, calm the fu—” I sidestepped to avoid her knee. The bitch was tryin’a hit a nigga where it counts, and you know what they say: don’t eva fight a nigga when he naked. Som’n ’bout that shit make a mufucka go ninja on ya ass, blockin’ shit, weavin’, and counter attackin’. The shower was too confined for me to fully defend myself and one of her wet wrists slipped from my grip. I caught anotha slap across my chin as I tried to maneuver out of the shower.
“Why, Rasheed? I can’t believe I let you fuck me. Did you wear a condom; do you even know if that bitch was clean?” Michelle was livid.
I mean, a nigga done fucked up before, but sh
e ain’t neva actually seen physical evidence or caught me out there. It’d always been hearsay.
“Baby, stop an’ jus’ listen to me for a sec.” I looked her in the eyes and let go of one of her hands to grab a towel off the rack. I know it wasn’t nothin’ but a towel, but it still helped a nigga feel just a li’l more secure. My mind was spinnin’ a thousand stories for my mouth to give her, but not one made any sense, and I damn sure couldn’t tell her the truth. Honey wasn’t worth me losin’ my home, my family, the only woman who eva loved me jus’ for me.
“Baby, I ain’t wanna tell you ’cause I ain’ wanna scare you. Somebody tryin’a kill me. I got attacked by some bitch in my office las’ night.” Ladies an’ gentlemen, this nigga is a genius. Chelle’s forehead creased and I felt a new storm comin’.
“Rasheed, do I fuckin’ look like I’m stupid to you? A bitch came in yo’ office an’ clawed up yo’ back an’ . . .” She turned and stormed out of the bathroom. “Fuck this shit, Rasheed. I’m done.” She was in the bedroom tryin’ to pull her jeans up over her wet skin.
“Michelle, where you goin’? I ain’t lyin’ to you!” Michelle paused long enough to grab the alarm clock off the dresser and hurl it in my direction.
“Nigga, jus’ stop talkin’ to me!” she yelled at me through her tears.
All the noise musta scared Trey, who started cryin’ in his room. Michelle pushed past me. I followed her to Trey’s room and stood in the door while she picked him up and kissed his tears, tellin’ him it was okay even though she was still cryin’ herself. It felt like this was gonna be the end of us. I looked at my “should be” wife holdin’ the “would be” heir to everything I owned, and felt my eyes get hot as tears slid down my face.
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