“Say it,” I whispered, getting tired of playing this game with her. I twisted, grinding my clit into hers just a little harder this time. We both gasped at the sensation, but I wasn’t giving in. Still she refused. I got back on my knees and licked my way down her stomach. I circled her clit with my tongue and smiled to myself when her legs started to shake. I’d get her right to the edge and then . . .
“Okay, please. Now. Michelle, I’m sorry.”
I had no idea what the hell she meant about being sorry until it hit me. And I mean it really did hit me. Before I could figure out what was going on I was damn near about to explode. He hit me with long deep strokes, grabbing me roughly by the back of my neck and pressing my face down into Ris so I could continue to savor her while I was being fucked hard from behind. I don’t know how I did it, but I was able to concentrate just enough to get Ris back to the point where her legs were starting to shake and tighten around my face, her back arching off the bed. It was all sensory overload. The combination of wet pussy in my face and on my lips and the noises Ris was making only fueled the fire that Keyshawn was stroking up behind me.
One hand still had me by the back of my neck and the other had me by my ass, forcefully pulling me back into each stroke every time he drove forward. The sensations were driving me right over the edge. I couldn’t fight it anymore. I pressed my lips hard against Ris’s clit, knowing exactly how and where I’d send her. Right at that very moment Keyshawn drove one long, deep thrust that hit my “G, H, and damn I didn’t even know that was a spot” and I went into my own free fall. I moaned, cried out, hell I’m pretty sure I spelled the nigga’s name too as I fell forward—my legs, suddenly traitors to my body, no longer offered to support my weight. Waves of pleasure crashed over my body, so intense they were damn near painful.
I couldn’t believe I’d turned down a lifetime of this feeling, a lifetime of dick downs, by marrying a woman. All I could do was lie there temporarily “dickmatized.” That’s when a nigga strokes it so good you suffer from temporary paralysis; all you can do is lie there paralyzed. The room could have burst into flames and the devil himself could’ve jumped out at my ass and it wouldn’t have gotten me up off that bed. Ris was stiff beneath me, still breathing heavy. I lifted my head long enough to offer her a weak smile before letting my face sink back into the warm softness of her stomach.
“Guess I did a damn good job huh?”
Okay, scratch everything I said before. If it weren’t for the fact that my legs felt like Jell-O, I definitely would’ve jumped completely the fuck off the damn bed, ninja style. I looked back in complete and utter shock to see Lania crouching on her knees behind me. She was proudly stroking the head of her strap like it was a real dick. She smiled smugly at my expression. I looked down at Larissa, confusion written all over my face.
“Ris, what the fuck?”
She gave me an awkward smile, wrapping her arms around my neck and pulling me up toward her into an even more awkward hug.
“I’m sorry baby, I kind of lost a damn bet. But I figured, what da hell, you’d enjoy a li’l threesome.”
“Shit, I definitely enjoyed the show.”
My head swiveled toward Keyshawn and Curtis, who were sitting over on a sofa in front of the TV. The back of the sofa faced the bed so now it made sense why I didn’t see them before. Keyshawn’s head was tilted slightly and he wasn’t smiling or looking anything close to his usual self. I hoped I hadn’t embarrassed him by calling out his name. I just chalked up the way he was acting to the fact that he was probably ready to go stroke one out right quick, if he hadn’t already.
“But, Lania, I saw you, I . . . I thought they were takin’ you to a hospital?” What the hell kind of game is this? Is this some sort of bullshit swingers dinner party?
“Oh, that? It was nothing, just too many shots early in the day and really good coke. It happens. I’m fine as you can see.”
Somewhere an alarm was going off. Realizing it was my phone, a special ringtone I’d set for Jim, a sudden chill came over me as all the blood seemed to drain from my body.
“Oh God, where are my clothes? That’s my phone where is it?” I crawled off the bed in a panic, my legs still wobbly and my head pounding. I found my phone and pressed ANSWER.
“Michelle, it’s Jim. There’s been an incident at the house. The children are fine and I’m on my way there now. I don’t want you to be too alarmed, but someone tried to break in and we’re holdin’ ’til you get here. Ain’t callin’ no cops yet. Gonna let you talk to ’em first.”
“Oh God, are you sure the kids are okay? Is it Rasheed?”
“Rasheed?” Larissa sat up in the bed with the comforter pulled up to her chest.
I cursed to myself. I’d forgotten about keeping her out of the loop. Oh, well. It was too late; so much for that plan.
“What da fuck you mean? Is who Rasheed, Michelle?”
There was entirely too much going on with Jim trying to give me details and Ris on the verge of a spastic panic attack.
“Jim, I’m on my way. Larissa, just put your shit on, we have to go now. I’ll explain in the damn car.”
I could see the questioning looks on both Key’s and Lania’s faces, but I ain’t have time to explain. Shit, after what just went down we were way past the formalities stage. They’d just have to fuckin’ understand. My hands were shaking so bad I could barely put my clothes on and bright spots kept flashing before my eyes. I’d bet everything on the fact that Rah wouldn’t try to go after my kids and I was dead-ass wrong. What kind of monster had prison turned him into that he’d try to hurt his own children?
Blood Moon . . . Bloody Money
48
“So when exactly was you gonna tell me you knew for sure Rah was back?” Ris didn’t wait five seconds for the limo to start moving before she started in with the questions.
“Damn, Larissa, I just found out my damn self.”
“You ain’t think I needed to know dat shit? What was you tryin’a do, make friends wit’ his ass or somethin’ before you told me?”
I was not in the mood. I just wanted to hold my babies, make sure they were okay, and get past this new chapter of bullshit as quickly as possible.
“Look, I handled the shit, okay? What the fuck good would it have done if I did tell you, aside from have your ass worried too?” I’d started grinding my teeth so hard my jaw hurt.
“Do you miss him? I mean y’all was togetha for a long-ass time. Ain’t nothin’ wrong wit’ missin’ the nigga.”
She was pushing my damn buttons.
“If I was wit’ a nigga for that long, I’d pro’ly miss his ass. Even after bein’ wi’chu all this time. I can’t even lie. But unlike how you do me I probably wouldn’t lie to yo’ ass ’bout it, Michelle.”
“How many times do I have to tell you I don’t miss that nigga? Stop fuckin’ askin’ me. Stop bringin’ it up. Just fuckin’ stop! And why you ain’t tell me Keyshawn came by the damn house?” I was so pissed my voice cracked.
“He just came by to bring me my autographed ball. Said you weren’t answerin’ his calls. Why you gettin’ so mad if you ain’t got nothin’ to be mad for?”
Her question made absolutely no fucking sense. I didn’t know where it came from but it was there. I felt outright rage. Maybe it was because I was under too much stress, I wasn’t sure. My hand went across Ris’s face so fast her head snapped to the side and still it didn’t feel like enough. All the shit I did for her, everything I bought for her, everything I did, I did to make her ass happy and I didn’t get anything in return for it but bullshit.
My entire world revolved around Larissa and the kids and making sure they had everything they needed. Suddenly it was all too much for me. Ris was staring at me, holding her cheek, disbelief written all over her face at the fact that I’d even dared to hit her. In that moment I didn’t see her as a wife, or a partner, lover, or a friend. She was a possession. I clothed, fed, watered, provided, and she’d take, took, an
d keep taking.
My rationale was nothing like anything I’d ever thought of before, but the fact that she’d dare to question me relentlessly and challenge me and then tonight she would be so bold as to offer my body to another woman as consolation for a bet she lost! Growling like a mad woman I lunged across the limo. There was nothing that I wanted more in that single moment than to just choke the living fuck out of her dumb ass.
“Michelle, what da fuck is wrong wi’chu?” she shrieked, drawing her knees into her chest. Larissa kicked at me, but I just grabbed her legs, digging my fingers into her thighs, purposefully bruising her, trying to hurt her.
“Whoa now! There’s no need fer all that.”
I was grabbed by my shoulders and pulled backward out of the limo. I was so caught up in my anger I hadn’t even noticed that we’d stopped. I gave Larissa one last glare before straightening myself up and turning to Jim. Damn I was gettin’ out of shape. It took me a few deep breaths before I could speak.
“Sorry about that, Jim. Please tell me what’s going on.”
He looked shyly toward Ris, who was now starting to climb out of the car. Her hair was a bird’s nest on top of her head and I’d torn her fishnet top and broken one of her heels. I was so glad Jim already knew who she was, because I’d hate trying to explain why I was but really wasn’t just trying to beat a stripper’s or a call girl’s ass in my limo.
“Well, like I said on the phone I didn’t want to alarm ya. Jackson, over there, works for the Miami PD. He’s already started the forensics so we won’t have any issues.”
“Wait, forensics? I thought you said the kids were fine.” No, I know I heard him say that there was nothing wrong with my babies. I know I wasn’t that damn out of it when we talked. I was shaking my head back and forth, my eyes filling with tears and my heart splitting in half because I was already thinking the words that no mother wants to hear.
“Right. Right. The kids were taken to get somethin’ to eat. We had to get ’em away from here. Didn’t want ’em seein’ too much more than they might already have.”
“Okay, Jim, I need the CliffsNotes version. I can’t take this long, drawn-out shit.”
“Ahhh, well. Blood on the moon tonight. Reckon we should have known somethin’ would be afoot somewhere. Darla was stabbed in the livin’ room on the couch. We have her over there in the truck if you’d like to see her.” He started to walk toward the truck and Ris and I followed him. Hearing that Darla didn’t make it and knowing it could have been me or Ris made me immediately regret how I’d treated her on the ride home. I put my arm around her in an attempt to comfort her.
“I’m so sorry I got that mad at you,” I whispered to her as we followed Jim. It suddenly dawned on me that the “her” he was referring to wasn’t Darla. There was someone sitting in the back of one of the cars Jim approached. I recognized Keith from the highway and exchanged a polite smile with him.
“See now from what we can tell, she swam in from the ocean and climbed up to that third-story window that was left open ’round back. Keith was the first one inside after hearin’ Darla scream, an’ apprehended her. The li’l ones were asleep, didn’t see it happen.” Jim swung open the driver’s side door and the interior light beamed on. Ris and I both stared at the younger black woman in the back seat, but neither one of us recognized her. I shook my head at Jim.
“She ain’t got no ID. Won’t talk either. I was hoping maybe y’all would know who she might be.”
I stared harder at the girl in the back of the car. She couldn’t have been any older than nineteen, maybe twenty, very slender and dark skinned, her hair cut into a edgy, curly Mohawk; nothing like the princess-dancer types Rah messed with back home. She refused to make eye contact with any of us, content with staring down at the floor in the car. I didn’t place her face and couldn’t figure out how or when I would have ever run into her in Florida or Virginia. I’d turned to walk toward Jackson, who was now calling the scene into the police, when I heard a whisper.
“Blood for blood money.”
“What ye’ say there, young lady?” Jim approached her, his head tilted to the side.
I didn’t need her to repeat it. I’d heard her loud and clear and I knew exactly what it meant, but this was so unlike Rah to send a woman to do his dirty work. There had to be a reason why he wouldn’t have come himself.
“Jim, where exactly did you send my kids?”
“Just down the street with David and Jacob. There was a little twenty-four-hour diner where they could get pancakes an’ cocoa while we cleaned up and got the nanny’s body outta the house.”
Panic was coursing through my system. Did Rasheed send that girl here as a decoy? Was she supposed to distract us, or do something to flush us out on purpose so he could get to the kids? I didn’t think anymore, I just took off running.
“Baby? Where you goin’?”
I didn’t answer Ris. There wasn’t any time. I’d explain after I had my kids in my arms. Until I saw that they were okay there was no room for anything else.
My car was blocked in on one side of the driveway by Jim and the other guys’ vehicles. I ran into the house and grabbed Ris’s car keys from the ring beside the front door. I didn’t dare look into the living room. I was too scared to see Darla and all the blood. I ran out into the garage and climbed into the red convertible. It was the only car on the side of the garage that I could get out so the kids would just have to sit in each other’s laps when I picked them up. I’d risk a ticket, fuck it.
I pressed the garage door opener and sped out. Jim and Ris both called after me, but I didn’t stop. I had to get to Trey and Lataya before Rasheed did, or at least if he was already there maybe, just maybe, I could talk him out of whatever he was planning on doing. The diner Jim mentioned was no more than a few blocks away and the sun was just starting to come up, illuminating the layer of dust on Ris’s car. I made a note to get all of the cars washed later.
I could see the sign for the diner and signaled, braking to turn into the parking lot. The kids were coming out with two big guys on either side of them. They looked fine, smiling and laughing, and I smiled for the briefest moment before realizing that the digital gauge on the Benz was accelerating on its own. I stomped the brake pedal with everything I had but the car kept speeding up.
The sun was back in my eyes again and I pulled down the visor. That’s when I noticed the slender, small, feminine handprint in the dust on the hood and I realized what that girl was doing in our house. She hadn’t come for the kids. Darla must have seen her, or caught her off guard when she was trying to get out of the house. I threw up the parking brake.
“Shit.” It didn’t do a damn thing. She must have disengaged it.
Fortunately it was early enough that there were barely any cars on the road on a Saturday morning and I was praying like I’d never prayed before as the car hit eighty, eighty-five, and ninety. I could see Jim’s men in the rearview speeding to catch up with me. My heart felt like a runaway train in my chest; it was thudding so painfully I could barely breathe. At 145 miles per hour I could barely keep the car on the road, and I was coming to an area where I knew I wasn’t going to make it. The turn was too sharp and I was going too fast to jump out.
Squeezing my eyes shut as tightly as possible I turned the steering wheel, praying that maybe, just maybe, I could Tokyo drift or do some kind of donut and keep-it-moving shit I’d seen in movies. For that split second the only sound I heard was my breath as I inhaled what I thought would be my last one. Piña colada air freshener and new car leather would be the last smells I’d ever smell. The tires screamed and the best way to describe the body-jarring effects of slamming into a concrete wall is that it sounded and felt like God Himself put His foot down in the form of an underpass and I’d run right into it. Glass shattered as the passenger’s side crumpled, the car frame bending around me like a tin can tomb.
My life didn’t flash before my eyes. I didn’t relive all my happiest moments. In t
he blink of an eye I went from scared shitless to pitch black.
I Said—Love Is A Helluva Drug
49
“Michelle? Try to squeeze my finger if you can hear me.”
Ugh. Who is this squawking-ass woman in my ear? My head was killing me and my mouth felt like straight yuck. Like I hadn’t brushed my teeth or drunk anything since who knew when. I felt so tired. I didn’t even bother trying to open my eyes. All I wanted to do was drift back into the dark silence that I’d somehow slipped out of.
“I need you to squeeze, Michelle.”
“Scream.” My voice sounded crackly and froggish to my own ears. I could barely speak above a groggy, funky whisper. I tried and, damn it, I couldn’t squeeze shit. But if she didn’t shut the fuck up . . .
“What? Say it again. Use your words, Michelle. Say it to us again.”
Oh my God, I groaned to myself, will she ever stop? I just wanted some ice water and lots of sleep.
“Shut. Fuck. Up. Scream.” It took all the energy I had to get those words out, but whoever the fuck she was left me no choice; she’d refused to let up.
“Well, you are definitely a gutsy one. I think everything will be just fine, Larissa. You can come and talk to her if you’d like; she can definitely hear you.”
“Hey, Chelle.”
God, if I weren’t so tired . . . I tried to say “hey” back to my baby, but I was just so damn weak. It felt like the life had somehow been drained out of me and all I was left with was this darkness. Ris sounded so pitiful. I could her sniffling and blowing her nose, and all I could recall was me hitting her and being so nasty to her.
“I love you so much, bae, an’ I hope you can forgive me.”
I didn’t know what I was supposed to forgive her for when I was the one who acted like a complete fool, hittin’ her and shit. Maybe she just meant she was sorry for her being an all-around bitch for the last few weeks. I smiled in my mind and let myself drift back into that quiet, dark place, praying that Bird Bitch wouldn’t come back for at least a few hours so I could get some rest.
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