I glanced up at Z and noticed his gaze upon me from across the room. He seemed like he was trying to gauge my feelings. I gave him my best scowl, which seemed almost comical considering his lustful gaze made my insides swirl deliciously in my abdomen.
If I were to go with my instinct, I would sprint across the bar. It would be as if I were in some dramatic love scene, bounding into his arms with my hair flowing behind me, as he carried me into the shadows of the night.
I quickly tore my gaze away from Z before I started to giggle at my silly fantasy, making sure my hair draped over my face so he wouldn’t notice the change in my expression.
Leave. I needed to get out of the bar quickly to try to understand what just happened.
A silly expression popped into my head from when I was little. The guys at the bar used to tell me how women “fish hook” them–digging their lure hard into their hearts to reel them in. I giggled remembering the expression but started feeling like that’s what Z has already done to my heart in such a short time. He has some sort of hook digging into my heart. I felt as though I need to remove that hook before it sinks any deeper and tears me apart. Would it tear me apart? I asked myself as I quickly grabbed my purse and headed out the door.
I tried to answer the question by putting myself in his position. Sheila had probably just tore some stupid hook out of his heart when she cheated on him. So really, Z just has a hole that needs to be filled right now. Because right now, Z only wants a rebound and after what Sheila did to him, I couldn’t blame him.
Is that what Z would be to me? The question still hung over my mind from the other day. When he threw the question at me with Clark standing right there. “Is that what you want to do to get over your ex?” I replayed his husky voice dripping with sexual innuendo when he asked. Not to mention, his deep intense stare as if it were daring me to say ‘yes.’ I was so close to saying yes just so I could be with him. To go ahead and take the chance, thinking maybe we both need to be each other’s rebound to get over our exes.
Mark. I thought of our phone conversation as I picked up my pace toward the townhouse. He called me to ask me if I wanted to run tomorrow with him. I felt bad about the fight, but even worse that I made out with Z in the back room right after flirting with Mark at the bar. I agreed to run with him more out of guilt than anything else.
Did he get into a fight with Flynn over me? Why did Flynn care about what I do with Mark?
A strong, but gentle hand grabbed my bare upper arm. I knew the touch immediately because his touch shot an electric current to my core. I spun around to stare into the most perfect, caring blue eyes speckled with amazing grey flecks. My heart raced as my belly rolled with anxious pleasure by seeing and being touched by this man.
“Hey, didn’t you hear me calling you?” He was out of breath. He obviously doesn’t run or at least I didn’t think he ran, guessing by the way he was trying to catch his breath.
“No, I guess I was deep in thought.” I hope he didn’t hear the breathlessness in my voice. I crossed my arms across my chest, more as an attempt to calm myself to keep from throwing my arms around his neck, so we could continue our make out session from the office.
“You’re not angry with me, are you?” He cocked his head to the side and smirked. “I didn’t knock the shit out of him,” he teased.
I wanted to giggle at his adorable attempt to make light of the situation. “I don’t know what to think.” I tried to keep my voice quiet and even, but my heart raced, making me feel anything but calm.
At first, he tried to avoid my eyes looking past my shoulder. Then he quickly glanced back gazing into my eyes and asked, “Is it me or do you also feel our connection?” I watched him as he stuffed his hands into his pockets and then tilted his head to the other side, giving me a cute grin.
I was stunned by his sweet admission. I grinned back at his adorable boyish charm, bit my lip and glanced away quickly–knowing that we do have a connection, but unsure how to respond.
I took a deep calming breath as I tried to regain my senses. I gazed back into his gorgeous eyes as I tried to reason things out and decided to try to find out if he wanted to use me just to get over Sheila.
“Is that what you think it is? You kissed me when you were drunk and another time when you were jealous. I don’t want to be your rebound just so you can get over Sheila.” My heart beat fast knowing I had just laid it all out there. I looked to the ground, awaiting his response, unsure of what he might say.
I glanced back up as his eyebrows pinched together, “You’re not a rebound, Izzy. I’ve never wanted you for a rebound.”
My breath hitched as I swallowed. “I…” Something caught my eye across the street. My heart stopped with fear as I strained to look over Z’s shoulder. Was that the same guy I saw when I was out with Melanie at Spike’s? No, he couldn’t be…my mind was playing tricks on me again. Cars sped by the street as I continued to try to search for the person I thought I saw.
“What’s wrong, Izzy? You just went white. Are you okay?” Z looked behind him, searching the area I just studied.
I blinked and he was gone. At least I think the person was a he. I don’t even know what I saw. I faintly heard a question from Z. “What?” I asked as I shook my head and looked back at him.
“Did you see something? Was it your Ex?” Z asked as he searched for whatever I might have seen. By that time Flynn walked up and heard Z say “Ex.”
“Where the fuck is her ex?” Flynn asked as he examined the same area.
Glancing back across the street trying to find that same shadow from my memory. I shook my head. “No…,” I stammered. “Nothing. I didn’t see anything. Just my mind playing tricks again.” I swallowed hard. “I…I need to get inside. It’s just been a long night, that’s all.” When I glanced over at Flynn and noticed his lip was bleeding and swollen. “Oh God, Flynn! You need some ice on that.” I turned and proceeded to walk up the stairs. I looked back when I realized no one was following me. They were both staring at me with confused expressions on their faces. “What? You need ice on that,” I stated as I turned back around and continued to walk inside.
I grabbed a baggie, filling it with ice and then turned around to Flynn handing it to him.
Z watched Flynn tap the ice bag to the corner of his mouth, still giving me an uncertain look. Z studied me. “What’d you see out there, Iz?”
“Nothing. It was nothing.” I tried to sound convincing, although I knew I failed at my attempt. I turned to grab a beer out of the fridge.
Mel was on the couch watching TV and turned when she heard Z’s question. “You saw someone again, Iz?” She asked apparently concerned.
“No,” I insisted. “Can we just drop it? It’s just my mind playing tricks on me again.” I tried to give a small reassuring smile to convince them.
He wasn’t going to have me followed, would he? I frowned as I drank from my beer. I turned away from the guys and walked to the couch in an attempt to change the subject.
I lowered my voice and asked Melanie, “How was your date?” I forced a smile. I heard Flynn huff, clearly pissed off as he grabbed a beer out of the fridge. I mentally scolded myself yet again for asking Melanie about another guy in front of Flynn.
“It was good. We went to a great restaurant and he was so much fun to talk to.” Shit, why did I ask her this? She stopped abruptly. I could tell she finally realized Flynn was right there. “Hey, did you know we have a pool table here? I don’t think I ever really gave you a good tour of the place. How about a game?” Melanie jumped up excitedly.
“I had no idea.” All this time I could have played to help clear my thoughts. I beamed as I followed Mel to the back of the townhouse and to the right. There was another huge room, basically behind the kitchen. It had a gorgeous, mahogany wood regulation pool table with green felt. The Tiffany light fixture only added to my thrill as I watched the lights reflect off it, creating colorful sparkles around the cream colored walls.
&nbs
p; We started a game while I listened to Melanie tell me a little more about her date. The good parts she increased the volume on her voice to make sure Flynn heard her in the kitchen. The rest she giggled and lowered her voice, probably trying to make him think they were intimate discussions or something.
Flynn stalked into the pool room, clearly angry, followed by Z. I was still trying to figure out what Z meant by his comment before we came inside earlier. If he doesn’t want me as a rebound maybe he wants something else? I shook my head. It’s a competition thing, I kept trying to tell myself, as I tried to concentrate on what Melanie was telling me.
“Holy shit. What happened to you?” Melanie asked, concern laced her voice. Stepping over to where he was, she studied his bloody lip.
“I got into a fight,” He answered turning away.
Melanie questioned me with her eyes. “He got into a fight with Mark,” I told her.
“Who the heck is Mark?” Melanie asked. Oh yeah, I hadn’t told her about him yet, had I?
“A guy I met on my run who was interested in me until Flynn and Z decided to pick a fight with him,” I told her while glaring at Z. I was still trying to figure out why Flynn got into a fight with Mark.
“I didn’t get into a fight with him, Flynn did.” Z shot at me giving me another boyish grin. That adorable look melted my insides and I had to bite my lip to stop from grinning stupidly.
“Well, wasn’t he fighting Mark for you since you decided to pull me into your office so you could make out with me?” I asked, still not knowing exactly how the fight started.
Melanie held her hands up. “Wait a minute. What happened? Flynn got into a fight so you could make out with Iz again?” Melanie looked at Z with her brows pulled together trying to sort it all out. I was glad she was just as confused as I was.
“Izzy was flirting with him and he seemed to be checking out the girls Flynn brought over. I was just saving Iz from being disappointed.” Z shrugged as he glanced away from Melanie.
“That doesn’t even make any sense. He wasn’t checking them out at all until Flynn brought them over.” I turned to Flynn and asked, “So, why did you start a fight with Mark?”
“He was an asshole. He shoved me and like hell if I’m going to let some asshole touch me, so I punched him. It went on from there.” He shrugged his shoulders and took a drink from his beer. His eyes averted my questioning look. “He’s a douche,” Flynn muttered under his breath.
I glanced back and forth between both of them not really knowing what to think. “Why would Mark shove you for no reason?”
Flynn shrugged and took a drink from his beer. He gave a slight head nod toward Z. “Maybe he didn’t like that Z brought you to the back, what do I know? He seemed like an idiot to me.”
I kept replaying the evening in my head. Z was hitting on other girls. If he really felt some connection with me, why didn’t he say something sooner? Why did it take me flirting with Mark to get him to take me to the back?
I glanced back at Z. “Why do you care if I was flirting with Mark anyway? You had your entourage of girls for the night.” It was a simple question, but the look on his face seemed as if I asked something personal as he glanced away and walked up to the pool table. He rolled a ball under the palm of his hand back and forth on the green felt. I continued to watch him, waiting patiently for his answer.
“He…umm, just seemed like a dork. You shouldn’t date someone like that Izzy,” Z said sheepishly as he shrugged and continued to examine the ball, still rolling it with his palm.
“What do you know about what I need? You’re in the same boat I am, just coming out of a relationship, but I’m not going up to your group of girls and pushing them aside or getting into fights with them.” I shook my head not knowing what else to say.
I felt anger well up in me and I wasn’t sure I could remain calm. I started walking back to the kitchen to throw my bottle into the recycling bin. I remembered one of my many lessons from him—when feelings are involved, always keep your voice in control and keep calm; acting reckless and expressing your feelings were punished. I learned that lesson very early in our relationship; it came in handy until the very last night when I couldn’t control it.
The air was tight and I immediately felt Z before his arm even touched me. The moment he did, a thrill shot through me, leaving me breathless in its wake.
“I’m sorry. You’re right. I was dick tonight. I shouldn’t have done that. I just think you deserve better. That’s all,” he admitted.
He barely knows me. How does he know what I need? As intense as our attraction is to each other, I continued to wonder his true intentions. Was he just jealous that I was trying to move on to something new? It didn’t make any sense since he had a group of girls surrounding him.
I attempted to keep my anger out of my voice and tried to keep it even and calm as I told him, “I don’t think that’s why you did it. Maybe you’re still pissed off about Sheila and maybe you still want everyone to be as miserable as you. I didn’t walk over and interrupt you and your girls. Maybe next time you could just stay out of my affairs.” I turned and went up the stairs, hoping I did the right thing by cutting him off. It didn’t feel like the right thing to do in my heart, but it was probably the best thing to do for now at least.
I changed into my pajamas and got into bed listening to Melanie yelling at both of them for being jerks for chasing Mark away. Then I heard Z leave the townhouse, the door not really slamming shut, but it definitely wasn’t closed quietly. Of course, then Flynn and Melanie got into an argument about her dating someone right under his nose.
I tried to get some sleep, but instead tossed and turned thinking about Z. Thinking about the way he touched me, kissed me. It was more intense than just kissing—but what was his real reason for making his move? Was it really because he likes me? Or was it because he was jealous of me trying to move on to someone new after my relationship.
Relationship…was what I had with him even considered that? I guess not many people would call it that. Was it really as bad as I remember it to be? I mean, our type of relationship wasn’t what most would define as “boyfriend/girlfriend,” but it was more than I had ever shared with anyone…well, except in college if I had let any of the guys I dated go any further.
Having a ‘real’ relationship was something I had always craved. I had saved myself for Brad, which was probably another reason I turned down all the guys in college when it came down to sex. That and I didn’t want to become a whore like my mom. Sex became something that I wanted to only do with someone I loved.
Brad was someone I deeply loved, but since he didn’t love me the same way, I turned to him when it came time for sex.
He didn’t love me, but for some reason I felt that if I gave myself to him, gave him my virginity, gave him myself entirely, that he would love me. That turned out to be a huge mistake.
The tears flowed as I tried to examine my relationships, ones that I wish I had known would never turn into what I had wanted. Learning everything the hard way, I resolved that I would take back my love life. I’d make sure that I wouldn’t fall for the same trap and only be with someone who loved me. Period.
I WOKE up the next morning remembering I had a “date” run with Mark.
Although I wondered if I really gave Mark a fair shot before being swept away by Z’s passion. After an odd relationship of two years, I probably wasn’t the best judge of character. I decided I was going to give Mark a chance and just see what happens.
After a quick shower, making sure to shave my legs and put on my “cutest” workout clothes. I added a little makeup, which I never do when I run before heading downstairs. Melanie and Flynn were gathered around the kitchen island. I overheard them discussing the fight Flynn got into with Mark as I stepped onto the landing.
“Off for another run,” Melanie asked when I reached into the fridge to grab a bottle of water.
“Yes, I am,” I said, probably a little too cheerful.
>
“Why’d you take a shower?” she asked curiously as she eyed my hair and clothing.
“Umm…I’m meeting Mark for a run.” I looked away quickly trying to avoid Flynn’s shocked expression.
“You’re meeting that asshole after the fight I got into with him? He’s a dick, Iz! Why would you want to date a guy like that?” He snapped at me, the look of disgust on his face said more than his words.
“Look, I don’t know what happened between you two, but I’m sure it didn’t really happen that he shoved you for no reason. Anything else you want to tell me about what really happened,” I asked as I stared at him, trying to keep calm, knowing there was more to the story than he was telling me.
He scoffed, “No! He’s a dick and felt the need to shove me. You don’t want a guy like that!”
Pursing my lips and furrowing my brows, I shook my head knowing he was lying because he couldn’t even look me in the eyes. I walked up to him, keeping a calm tone. “When you can make sense of your love life, let me know and I’ll let you determine who I date. Until then, it’s my business only.” He shook his head and was about to say something when I headed out the door. I walked across the street and down a couple blocks to the trail.
Mark was waiting right where we had agreed to meet, at the beginning of the trail. His bright smile reached his eyes when he saw me. Immediately I noticed a cut under his eye, which was red and puffy. “Oh no! Are you alright?” I asked, reaching to touch his cheek. He caught my hand squeezing it a little and held it.
“Fine, it’s fine, I promise–doesn’t hurt. Wow, you look amazing,” he exclaimed as his eyes quickly roamed over my body.
I blushed and couldn’t help but do the same to his body as he did to mine. His running shorts showed off his extremely muscular legs and the fitted t-shirt he wore, left little the imagination. I could see his rippling muscles through his tight shirt and somehow the cut under his eye made him look more masculine and rugged. I glanced back up to search his bright green eyes. My heart skipped a beat a. At least, I could try to make myself believe that.
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