I was staring at her like some crazy weirdo, but I couldn’t take my eyes off her. I felt like I had to say something and break the awkward silence.
“I bet it’d be great to fuck up here.” Okay, so that wasn’t so subtle, but for some stupid reason I couldn’t think of anything else. She chuckled and I was relieved. She was so rarely in a joking mood these days. “So, as odd as it sounds, do you come here often?” My heart caught in my throat when she rolled her eyes playfully and gazed at me. The spark in her eye was something I didn’t know I was missing until right then.
“There’s no other woman up here, so you’re reduced to trying to pick me up? Is there ever a time when you’re not picking up women?”
I smiled, knowing how much I missed her playful banter. This was the woman I picked up at Mel and Flynn’s wedding. This was the woman who matched me in stamina in the bedroom that night. And this was definitely the only woman I wanted to pick up. Well, tonight at least. “Well, I need to keep on top of my game. I’ve never picked up a chick on a rooftop.” The cute way she laughed and then flicked her eyes to my lips, shot blood pumping straight to my throbbing cock.
“Never? How is that possible, Mr. Clark Kent?” She teased. Her eyes turned back to gaze at the city skyline. The rise of her chest as she inhaled the night air made my heart race again. Crap. Why am I feeling this? I wanted to laugh at myself. She’s up here because she probably wants to kill herself and you’re thinking of fucking bending her over the concrete wall and drilling her hard. She’s in therapy and crazy!
“I come up here because it’s so calming. I’m away from the world, but not really.” The sound of her chuckle and what she said brought me out of my scandalous thoughts. Almost. “If you want to know the truth, I came up here one night and thought I would jump off.” She picked at her fingernail polish. “I was able to talk myself out of it that night.” The corner of her mouth turned up and it took everything I had not to grab the back of her head and pull her to me. Instead, I swallowed and looked down to the sidewalk below. It’d be a long ass drop, that’s for sure.
“Looks like it would be pretty painful.” It was my turn to give her a smirk. “I’m glad you didn’t.” What the hell am I doing? I’m flirting with a woman who just tried to kill herself. Then it also dawned on me that Tina was downstairs in my bed. Asleep. At least I hoped she was. Or did I? I wasn’t even sure how I felt about her anymore.
“I…just need calm,” she tried to explain and then leaned over the wall looking down to the nightlife below.
The sincerity in her voice overwhelmed me. She’d mentioned the ‘calm’ thing before.
“Calm? You can’t get that just lying in bed?” I asked and leaned on my forearms. The cold concrete wall was a little refreshing since I’m getting so hot just thinking about Aub.
She turned back to the skyline, her teeth tugged at the corner of her lip. “No, I’m pretty much a restless sleeper.” Dammit. I knew that from when I walked in on her having a nightmare way back.
“The nightmares? You get them a lot, don’t you?” I paused a moment before asking what I really wanted to know. “What are they about?”
Her eyes peered at me from beneath her long lashes, ones that weren’t covered in all that black stuff for once. I noticed her swallow as the reflection of the moon shined in her eyes showing me the glint of tears welling up. She turned away quickly. Her voice was hoarse when she whispered, “It’s not an easy thing to talk about.”
My jaw tightened immediately. “But it has everything to do with your uncle dying, doesn’t it?” My stomach churned just from asking that.
“Yeah,” she whispered.
I watched her bottom lip quiver. I hadn’t even meant to ask about all this. A few seconds ago, we’d been flirting with each other and now she was about to lose it. Dumbass. I needed to fix it.
“I know I act like an asshole sometimes, but I’m always here to talk. And listen. I can listen really well. Or if you want to write it to me, I’d be…” my voice trailed off. I had no idea what else to say or how to say it. I hate talking about this crap, but I really did just want to try to understand and maybe even help her. I felt like I needed to do something. Anything. “I’m here for you, if you ever wanted to talk. That’s all.”
She quickly swiped a tear that ran down her cheek and sniffled. Those lips of hers trembled and I really wanted her to talk to me instead of bursting into tears.
We were both quiet for a while, staring out at the city skyline. I couldn’t help but wonder what she might be thinking. I wanted to ask, but I wasn’t sure if this was one of those moments everyone always yells at me, telling me I should just shut-up.
Without thinking, I placed my hand on top of hers. My pulse raced as I entwined my fingers with hers while I let the air hang between us. Quiet. I can be quiet.
I was as still as possible enjoying the warmth of her hand under mine. I couldn’t resist strumming my thumb back and forth over the soft skin on her hand. Maybe I was trying to coax her into telling me something. Or maybe I was actually enjoying the silence like she seemed to be. I took a deep breath and turned to look at her. Facing each other, seeing her warm brown eyes with such hurt reflecting in them, I wanted to hold her hand forever.
“So, how’s therapy going? Are you getting better?” Why the hell did I ask that?
“I’m getting better,” she said with a small smile. “I’m learning a lot about myself and why I did the things I did.” She swallowed. “I’ll be cooling off my dating. Sarah said I should take it easy unless someone really catches my eye.” She stopped for a moment and then jumped back into her words. “No sex or anything like that. Just date. If I do date,” she stammered.
The word ‘date’ from her mouth did weird things to me. My blood pumped in a different way than before from just being turned on by her. I stood there feeling like steam was coming from my ears and tried not to show how ticked off I was. I wanted to say something, but other than tell her that she shouldn’t date anyone ever again, I couldn’t think of a thing to say. And I didn’t think she’d appreciate that.
Her words cut through my thoughts in the cool night air as she promised me, “I won’t try it again. I’m much better now, Clark.” Her eyes flicked back to the skyline. “I’m sorry for what I put you through.” Her voice could barely be heard over the city sounds, but I knew I heard the sincerity behind her apology.
The wind picked up, blowing her black hair behind her shoulder. The lights of the city danced on her face and I couldn’t stop staring at her. I needed to say something. Again, the quiet just nagged at me, but I still couldn’t stop my gaze at her. I cleared my throat hoping that would make me snap out of whatever trance I was in. “I’m sorry I yelled at you when you were…watching me. I just didn’t understand.”
“While we’re making apologies, I’m sorry I watched you without asking.” She threw me a small smile and admitted, “I guess it could be a bit creepy.”
I smirked. “A little.” The cold air freshened my lungs as I inhaled deeply. “But, I guess, if you need to for some reason, I can understand.”
“Thank you for the journal. Well, for saving me too. I guess I never really thanked you for that either. I’m sorry.”
“Full of apologies tonight, aren’t we?”
A corner of her lips turned up as she rolled her eyes. Her gaze turned back to the skyline. “Where’s your date?” My heart sank thinking about what I’d done with Tina earlier tonight. I’m not with Aub or anything, so I should actually feel guilty for leaving Tina alone while I’m up here with Aub.
“Asleep.” My answer was clipped as I leaned over, resting my forearms on the cold concrete wall again. I had no intention of talking about Tina when I couldn’t even figure out how I felt about her. Not that I ever could.
We both seemed lost in our own thoughts as we watched the lights of the city dance around us. It was too quiet and I couldn’t keep it that way much longer. The silence seemed to just make me feel fart
her apart from her. Considering I was standing right next to her, feeling that way seemed really strange.
“I decided on a new rule.” My voice cut through the silence making me feel better.
“What’s that?” Her eyes lit up for a moment. Just a moment and then she frowned. I wasn’t sure what that was about, so I went ahead and told her my new idea.
“From now on, if you need to watch me sleep you have to lie down next to me. At least that way, I won’t feel like someone’s going to kill me or something weird.”
Aub’s mouth turned up as she chuckled. “That’s your rule?” She swallowed and then looked away. “Tina’s here.” My heart sank to my stomach hearing Tina’s name on her lips again. “And I noticed last time you locked your door,” she admitted to me. I smiled. For some reason knowing she’s tried to come to my room sent some weird thrill through me.
“Tina is leaving tomorrow for several weeks for some photo shoot. And when you watched me, I was a bit freaked out at first, but Vanessa had to talk some sense into me.”
Again her eyes twinkled as she chuckled. “You thought I was a vampire.”
“You’d make a really hot vampire, you know.” I couldn’t help but pull my brows up as I smiled.
“You think?” She teased.
Just picturing her in a tight sexy dress got me all excited again. “Oh hell, yeah. Maybe we could make that a new rule too. You have to wear some tight black dress when you need to watch me.” Fuck, I was hard as a rock just thinking about her lying on my bed dressed like that. Shit.
She shook her head laughing and seemed full of relief. I thought back to what I said before the dress thing and that’s when I realized she was probably at ease because I told her she could watch me again.
Without thinking, I wrapped my arms around her tiny waist and pulled her close. The surprise on her face threw me off and I remembered quickly what she was going through mentally. I wasn’t going to be the one to screw her up like that Greg guy had done. I realized right then I really wanted to be the guy to help her through this.
I swallowed, ignoring my strong desire to press my lips to hers. I dropped my arm from one side of her waist and began walking toward the staircase. “Let’s go watch some movies until you fall asleep.”
Her eyes questioned me as she asked, “And Tina?” I had already forgotten about her again.
I shrugged and looked toward the door. “I’ll slip back in there before she wakes.”
“Can I ask you what’s going on between you two?” She asked just as we reached the door. When I pulled the door open, I gestured for her to step through. From here on out, I decided I would be completely honest with her. If I wanted her to be honest with me, I should do the same.
“We’re back on for now. Until she leaves me for her boyfriend again.”
“And you’re okay with that?” Her words seemed to echo through the stairwell.
“Yeah, I guess. I like having her as a part-time girlfriend. All the benefits and then when I get sick of her, she leaves.” Why the hell did I just tell her that when it’s not really how I feel? At least it’s not anymore.
“Does she know? About what I did?” She asked nervously when we reached the landing.
“No,” I immediately answered. “And she doesn’t need to know as far as I’m concerned.”
She nodded and gave me a timid smile. “Thanks.”
“WHAT’S she doing on the couch?” Tina asked as we walked into the living room to leave.
Man, it had been a long night. I couldn’t wait to drop Tina’s ass off at the airport. I wished I could head back home and go back to sleep, but had to head to work right after. Maybe I’d try to leave early since I was so exhausted.
I had slipped back into bed with Tina about an hour before her alarm went off. It was totally worth it, though. Aub had her head in my lap the entire night while she tried to fall asleep. I turned on a replay of a basketball game figuring it would bore the hell out of her. It also allowed my thoughts to wander without having to concentrate on a movie. Running my fingers through her silky hair also put me to sleep. My neck was killing me and the oddest part is, I wouldn’t have changed it for the world.
“Clark!” Tina hissed.
“What?”
“I asked you a question.” She wasn’t even bothering to whisper and I cringed not wanting her to wake Aub. I grabbed Tina’s suitcase and her elbow and pushed both through the front door.
Tina’s expression matched how I felt. “What was that?”
“I didn’t want you to wake her. She has trouble sleeping and likes to watch TV to fall asleep.” I found it odd I had no trouble lying to Tina when just last night I was making every effort to be completely honest with Aub.
I started walking toward the elevator not wanting to get into a fight with Tina. I hoped my actions told her to drop the subject of Aub, but knowing Tina, she’d probably start up in the elevator. I was prepared to kick her ass to the curb. It wouldn’t be long anyway before she goes back to Hank. Oddly enough, that thought didn’t tick me off like it used to.
“I don’t want to fight.” Her tone did a one-eighty from before as did her actions. She wrapped her arms around my neck and pressed her body to mine. I didn’t bother responding and just pretended to agree with her.
I took her to the airport, like a good part-time boyfriend would. I was actually a little relieved she was leaving and kind of hoped to spend some time with Aub again.
I parked the car at the curb and got out Tina’s bag. Placing it on the curb, I stood in front of her, anxious for her to walk into the airport.
“I’ll see you in a couple of weeks, right?” Tina asked and then pressed her lips to mine.
I patted her ass and grabbed her hand. “Yep, just let me know your flight back. Unless it’s your boyfriend’s turn,” I added my jab in.
She had spent the entire drive telling me she chose me and when Hank gets back she’s telling him it’s over. I’d believe that when I see it. But did I even want to see it anymore? She sounded sincere and I’d always thought I wanted her to leave Hank for me, but now I wasn’t sure and I wasn’t sure why. Was it because I’d almost lost Aub for good? Or was it because I was just tired of the back and forth with Tina?
“Cute,” Tina remarked at my jab. “I love you. You,” she stressed as she kissed me hard. I’d never doubted her love for me. It was the love she still had for her boyfriend that always annoyed me. “I’ll see you soon.” She flashed me a smile and another quick kiss. I licked my lips. Her taste lingered, filling me with mixed emotions.
I WAS JUST LEAVING work when I received a text from Matt letting me know where we were all meeting out for dinner. I’d thought about Aub all day long. I guess the time up on the rooftop with her affected me more than I thought. I got there just as everyone was ordering.
“Where’s Aub?” I asked as I looked around the table. I hadn’t meant it to come out so anxious, but she’s supposed to be with one of “us” at all times. So whose turn was it to watch her?
“She’s meeting with her old boss, trying to get her job back,” Vanessa answered. “I didn’t know she quit. I wished she had talked to me before doing that. I’m sure having all that time on her hands didn’t help her.” I realized then that Aub still hadn’t told her best friend what happened with that Greg guy. I made a note to continue keeping my mouth shut about that. The table fell silent after Vanessa’s summation. At least now I knew what happened with her job.
“Who’s playing me in pool tonight? I need to be kept occupied,” I announced.
“I’m in,” a familiar voice announced. Aub appeared and grabbed a chair from a nearby empty table and placed it next to mine. We all started making room for her as she set down her purse and removed her jacket. She flashed me a smile as she sat down and for some damn reason my heart jumped.
“Well?” Vanessa asked.
“I got it!” After the table died down from shouts of ‘Congratulations,’ Aub continued, “And, the
y promised they wouldn’t take advantage of me like before and I wouldn’t have to take all the assignments and can choose like everyone else.” She tilted her shoulders back and forth. “Kenny said they realized how much work I really did after I left and that he was sorry. I even got a little raise!”
“Wow, that’s great,” I told Aub. “Congrats.”
She flashed me her beautiful smile as our eyes locked for a moment. Or maybe that was in my mind. “Thank you.” She held my gaze, which caused another skip of my heart. Her brown eyes had this gorgeous sparkle to them, probably from the excitement of getting her old job back. A round of congratulations was said by all, breaking our mini-stare. The conversation changed to what we decided on for dinner and what we were going to do for fun tomorrow.
Throughout dinner, I couldn’t ignore the thrill that shot through me every time Aub accidentally brushed her body against mine, or the way my blood would spike whenever she would smile at me or say something to me. By the time dinner was over and we were walking to Allure, I stayed closer to Aub so I could get more of that feeling.
“You seem really perky. Anything else happen other than getting your old job back?” I teased Aub as we played another game of pool. Her bending over the table added a throbbing in my dick, not just in my heart. I probably should have talked Tina into another round of sex before she left. Maybe I was just horny.
“Mmm.” Her lips were pressed together as her eyes did that cute thing. She looked up and over, but the glint in her eyes was…sexy and playful. “I have a date.” She said as she shimmied her shoulders back and forth. I felt a stabbing in my stomach and wondered if I ate something bad at dinner. I managed to press a smile to pretend to be happy for her. Even though I wasn’t.
“A date?” My heart plummeted and it annoyed the shit out of me. I tapped her ass with the pool stick while I made my way over to take my shot. “I thought you said you were going to take it slow and not hook-up anymore,” I reminded her as I leaned down, trying to appear as if I were asking that as a concerned friend rather than out of some sort of jealousy.
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