I glanced over at Matt, who was completely amused by the whole thing.
“Did you see her tits jiggle as she waved her arms around?” Matt asked, smiling huge.
I nodded because I caught the sight of those before I watched her ass. “Yeah, that was hot, right? Her ass, too.”
We both chuckled and then Matt started for the door. He stopped right before turning the doorknob. “Look it’s none of my business, but if seeing her with another dude sets you off, there might be something more you’re feeling for her. You don’t give a shit when you see other chicks getting kissed…this shouldn’t be any different.” He shrugged and walked out the door, not even letting me respond. Which was probably a good thing. I didn’t have a response to that. And he had a good point.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Aubrey
DEAR CLARK,
I’m furious with you. I’m so fucking pissed right now. You had no right to do that! I hear you across the apartment, or rather I hear the women you’re with, and I don’t walk in on you. Although you’d probably like that, wouldn’t you?
Of course, you’d like that. You’d love it if I walked in on you with another woman.
I STOPPED WRITING. Why was I so ticked at him? He was probably right. The guy was going to use me and I wanted that. Sarah said I wasn’t really ready to date yet and here I was ready and willing. I’m still craving what my friends have—love.
I flipped to the next page and started over. Maybe I’d rip out that other page. Or maybe I should keep it to remind myself not to pick guys that would just use me.
DEAR CLARK,
As much as I’m cringing to write this, you’re probably right. I knew he was lying to me. Or maybe he wasn’t lying, but he was definitely trying to use his ex as a way to make me feel sorry for him. He told me he felt sparks fly between us. I wasn’t sure if I felt those or not, but…to be honest, I really do want that with someone. Maybe I was willing to see if I’d eventually feel that way with him.
I shouldn’t date yet, but I just want what everyone else in our group has.
This is going to sound so stupid, but there are times where I feel like Uncle Chad put a curse on me. All the things he told me—that I would never be loved for me. He told me that I’d only be loved for my body and used like it should be. And I’m afraid that he’s right. I see it with you. The way your eyes linger all over my body. That’s all you want too. Just to use me for one night. Hell, with you, I’m sure you’d enjoy trying to take more than that.
I want more. I need more.
And I’m terrified I’ll never get…more.
IT WAS a week after the “date” incident. The worst part about that night was that Clark was right. I couldn’t even date without starting to slip into my old ways. Who was I kidding? I wasn’t ready to date, but I wanted to so badly. Just to be with someone. And not for the sex either. It was just to have a conversation with a guy that wasn’t a boyfriend of one of my friends, or my roommate, or my boss. I wanted that connection with someone. To know what it feels like when you meet your soul mate, the talking and getting close with someone. All the things I never had.
That feeling of emptiness only intensified when we were having our monthly girl spa time on a cold winter Saturday. We all sighed as our feet hit the warm, almost hot, water for our pedicures. The discussion of dating and “connecting” with someone kept reoccurring each time we went out. This time, though, I felt even more left out of something.
“You know, when the two of you just connect—that perfect slow sex that just makes you feel completely united with him.” I stared at Izzy describe yet another romp with Z that was heart-stopping, slow. Heartfelt.
“Mmm,” Mel moaned as she sat back closing her eyes and nodded in agreement.
Vanessa also nodded when I glanced around noticing everyone reminiscing. “My favorite is after. You know when you’re both coming down from the most intense release you’ve ever had together. It’s as if you’re both realizing how powerful it was and how close you feel with each other.” Vanessa sighed as she said that.
All three were in their own little dream world reminiscing about their “moment” with their guy. I sat there feeling completely left out. I had no idea what they were talking about. This was odd, because usually when we discussed sex, I was the one giving out pointers—different positions, which vibrators were best. Those were the topics I could advise on. This feelings thing was way over my head.
I felt Izzy’s eyes on me. “You’ve had that with someone, right Aubrey?” I looked down at Myra who seemed like she was trying not to pay attention. Who am I kidding? I’d listen to everyone’s conversations if I were a nail tech.
I shook my head in response to Izzy and glanced back at her. “I don’t think so,” I said slowly.
“Oh, you’d know,” Mel told me emphatically. She sat up to take a drink from her glass of wine.
Izzy’s head quirked to the side. “Not even once? Maybe with a guy you really felt like you loved.”
I shook my head again remembering Gregory. Even after he told me he loved me, thinking back, it seemed he said it because he just came. Okay, looking back, he said it because he just came, but I was too foolish to see the difference and assumed he really meant those three little words. “No. I’ve never had that with someone. And.” I paused and admitted, “I never have sex slow. It’s always hard and heavy. I need the slamming for an orgasm.” I added the last part as a reason to try to explain why I’d never have it slow. And so it wouldn’t look so silly that I’ve never had that with a guy.
“No, you don’t,” Vanessa quipped. “When you’re with that person, feeling everything about them, you can get the most intense release without hard and heavy. It’s incredible.” For the first time, Vanessa was giving me advice on sex. That’s never happened. Ever. I stared at my best friend who was still in her little dream world of intimacy with Matt.
“Well, one day you will. That should probably be the person you marry,” Izzy teased and smiled as if to make sure I wasn’t hurt by what she said. I wasn’t. I was just really sad that I’ve never experienced what they were talking about.
IT WAS PROBABLY a week later that I ran into Gerard. I first met him sometime last year in Houston when I set up one of our new hotels there. I was training the front desk staff on the computer system and helped check him in. I had given him my business card and we emailed a couple of times, but nothing ever came of it.
One of our local hotels was having another glitch with their computer system and I ran over to help facilitate the new system being put in. That night, I’d run into Gerard again as he was checking in. We both recognized each other immediately and grabbed lunch together in the hotel restaurant. The attraction was there—I felt it. His deep green eyes reminded me of Gregory’s. I suppose that should have made me feel uneasy, but it didn’t. It actually reminded me of the good times Gregory and I had.
Our conversation was light and flirtatious. He asked me to go out with him that night since he had to leave town the next day. I immediately said yes.
“WHOA. You look…wow. Different.” Clark complimented me as he looked over the couch at me. He quickly stood up and walked over to me.
I gave Clark a small smile as I let him in on a secret. “Makeup,” I whispered. He was used to me wearing a ton of eyeliner and mascara around my eyes. Tonight, I’d decided to tone it down a little, but still look dramatic.
“But, you look like…I don’t know. Older.” He immediately threw his hands up in defense when I gave him my bitchiest look. Older. “No,” he immediately started to back-peddle. “I don’t mean ‘old’ as in old lady. I just meant, sophisticated. Or something like that. You look…rich.” I was already nervous enough about making a nice impression tonight and then had to hear this from Clark. I was also apprehensive because ever since I told Clark I had a date, he questioned me relentlessly about making sure I keep to my no-sex rule.
I scrunched up my face, completely disgusted w
ith him. “Rich?”
“Well, yeah.” He shrugged. “You look like you come from money.”
I shook my head and grabbed my purse, unsure if my date tonight would like this “rich” look that seemed to throw Clark off so much. Just then, there was a knock at the door and Clark raced to get there first, much to my annoyance. He opened the door, crossed his arms over his chest and took some sort of alpha stance. I pushed past him, knocking him slightly off balance.
My date was exactly what any woman would dream of—tall, dark and handsome. I have no idea where they made him, but he was definitely worth the extra time I’d spent putting on my makeup. I gave my sexiest smile when my date stretched out his hand for mine. I, ever so gently, extended mine and watched him bring my hand up to his lips. He kissed my hand in a way that made my heart skip a beat and my breath hitched. Jackpot. I finally found a guy that was going to turn my world upside-down and hopefully bring me that “close” feeling the girls were gabbing about.
“Where are you taking her?” Clark asked breaking my thoughts and forcing me to remember he was standing next to me. I scowled at him, praying he wouldn’t try to chase away my date. I realized I hadn’t introduced them and it probably looked odd to Gerard that a man opened the door. I should tell him Clark’s my brother. The way he’s acting so over protective it would be believable.
“Clark is my roommate, Gerard,” I explained quickly and slightly exasperated. Gerard nodded, but ignored looking at Clark.
“The Magenta, of course. It’s the best,” he said softly, dripping with sexiness. His gaze never left mine with a sensual smile as he slightly squeezed the tips of my fingers creating another surge of excitement through me.
“Actually, it’s not the best restaurant,” Clark started in. His stance was still in full bravado mode and he tried to make his voice even more deep and protective. “Everyone thinks so, but if you head down toward First Street, there’s this little Italian place with better ambiance.”
Gerard turned to Clark and gave a slight smile. “Thank you. I guess that will be the restaurant I’ll take Aubrey to for our second date.” Second date. I might even let him have a second date the way he was sweeping me off my feet. “I don’t believe I’ve told you how exquisite you look tonight.” His beautiful emerald eyes sparkled as he complimented me. I swallowed, but gave him a small smile, unsure of how to respond.
Clark scoffed, making my smile fade slightly as I turned to him and gave him my best “shut-up” glare. He shrugged, stepped off to the side and then scratched his temple. “You’re taking her in a limo, I suppose.”
Gerard’s deep gaze bore into mine, again making my heart speed up. I have no idea how he can do that with just his eyes, but…wow. “Actually, it’s a beautiful night. I thought we could walk the few blocks. It might make it a little more romantic.” I think my panties just dropped to the floor as his eyes grazed my body slowly. “Unless you would prefer I drive us there, considering your beautiful heels.”
I swallowed, barely choking out, “No that would be fine. Lovely to walk. There.” Gerard guided me out the door, leaving Clark standing at the door as if he really were an over protective brother. I was glad he didn’t add anything else to embarrass me further.
I was wrong as I heard him mutter before closing the door, “Actually, only an asshole would make their date walk four blocks in heels. Dick.”
GERARD and I walked toward the restaurant and with each step my heart sank. It was quite obvious that Gerard was out to impress me. The facts and figures he recited were too similar to what I knew of Gregory’s competitors. Questions kept popping into my thoughts about each piece of information he was providing. Nothing made sense. Every moment he opened his mouth, I wondered who the man accompanying me really was.
By the time we arrived at the Magenta, I was unsure if he would even be able to pay the bill based on all his lies. Damn. Me and my lousy judge of character. And wouldn’t Clark be happy right now? Wouldn’t he just love to help poke holes in everything Gerard had said? And why is it that every date, he feels the need to make sure I see any fault in the guy?
“Did you want to check your coat, Aubrey?” Gerard asked bringing me out of my argument with Clark in my head.
“Hmm? Oh, yes, please,” I said and removed my wrap. I watched the guy at coat check eye my attire with approving eyes. The power my body has over men always turns them into puddles. Too bad I can’t find the right man to appreciate me along with my body.
Gerard held out his arm for me. I took it and decided that maybe I should give him a second chance or at least just try to enjoy my evening. If I had to pay for dinner, I was going to be a little more than pissed. I’d never been too fond of this place. Everyone boasts about it and yet, it really wasn’t that great. My mind wandered to the restaurant Clark mentioned and suddenly I craved Italian food. Figures.
We sat down at our table. Gerard stretched his hand across the table. My first reaction was that he was going to grab my purse, but then I quickly realized he was reaching for my hand. I debated at first but then realized I didn’t want to be rude so I let him caress my hand. It felt good. It was nice to be appreciated instead of just heading out on a “date” for sex. Maybe I should ignore his lies and just try to enjoy my evening.
The vibration of my phone tickled my arm. I shrugged, pretending to be embarrassed so that I could check my phone. A text lit up my phone. I chuckled and acknowledged I was actually happy it was from Clark.
Clark: Bored yet?
Me: A little. I looked back up to Gerard, if that’s really his name, and he smiled.
“Where do you see yourself in five years?” he asked as he took a drink from his glass. It seemed like an odd question for a first date. Was he trying to see if I would tell him I’d like him to be there in five years? I decided to make it more fun for both of us and go for gold.
Thinking of the oddest thing Clark would come up with, I went ahead with it. I was a little more than bored with his lies on the way over and if he opened his mouth, I was sure anything else he said would just annoy me.
With a straight face, I told him, “Married to a rich man. I was dating a real estate tycoon, but that kind of fizzled out when I saw his wrinkled up balls.” Gerard practically choked on his water. Good. At least I can make this a more interesting night for both of us.
“You’re not serious are you?
“Of course, I am.” I looked him in the eye. Those green eyes that seemed warm yesterday were now full of lies. “Isn’t that what you’re doing right now?
“What do you mean?” He sat back, his expression was one of amusement. Was he laughing at me? We’d see who got the last laugh. Maybe I was wrong, but I wanted to go ahead and call him out. What did I have to lose at this point?
“Well, I just caught you in about two lies and if you open your mouth again I’m sure you’ll go for a third.”
He exhaled and looked to the ceiling. He leaned in and lowered his voice. “All right, so I don’t really own anything. I’m actually trying to be an actor and was visiting my agent down here.” He sat back and looked a bit relieved. “New York is brutal. I keep going on all these casting calls. I came down here because a buddy of mine lives here too and is friends with a director back up in New York. He was going to give me some tips tonight. But then you were at the hotel and I remembered how sexy you were last time we met. I thought a little practice and hooking up would be perfect to boost my confidence.”
I had so much to say but at the moment, I was too stunned at the gall of this asshole. In perfect timing, my phone chimed.
Clark: Want to meet me outside?
Me: Yep.
“Excuse me, I have to use the restroom,” I told him as I stood up, grabbing my phone and purse. He stood like a gentleman. Maybe he’d get a role as a gentleman at his next audition.
“Should I order for you?” he asked politely.
I barely turned to him as I began walking and called out, “No, I’ll order when I
get back.”
Out of sight from our table, I handed the coat-check guy my ticket. I took my wrap from him and slipped him a twenty. Leaning in, I allowed him to get an eyeful. Some habits are hard to break. “Can you please tell the guy at that table that I’m very sorry but an emergency came up and I won’t be returning. Thank you.” I smiled as he nodded, accepting my money.
Clark stood outside looking handsome as he always does. The guy was just born beautiful. Too bad his mouth didn’t have some sort of filter on it. He smiled at me and then pulled something from behind his back. I beamed as I eyed shoes from my closet with lower heels. They sort of matched this dress, but they weren’t going to stab my heel as I walked any more.
I placed my arm on Clark’s shoulder and began to put on my new heels as Clark nodded his head to the restaurant. “What happened with dick face?”
“He was lying the whole time. He was quoting stuff from Gregory’s company that I knew cold.”
A triumphant smirk appeared on Clark’s face. He shook his head. “I knew the guy was too good to be true for you.”
“What does that mean?”
“A guy like that would have had a limo, that’s all. At least I would have thought so.”
I shrugged. “Gregory and I used to walk to places. It’s not that uncommon.”
“When you’re dressed up like that?”
The times that we had walked, we were dressed casual and heading out for coffee or lunch at a nearby bistro. Anytime we’ve ever gone out to a nice restaurant, he drove or we took a limo. “You’re right.” I shrugged and finished slipping on my other heel, holding Clark’s arm for stability.
Clark nodded in the direction we were headed and we began walking together.
“You’re not going out tonight?” I asked, wondering what would prompt him to meet me out. I glanced over to see him shrug.
“Nah. I didn’t feel like it. I figured that guy would be an ass anyway.”
“And what made you think that?”
Alluring Promises Box Set (Books 1-3) Page 109