I closed my eyes and tried to take a calming breath. It’s Ari. I’ve known her since the day she was born and I’ve always been there for her.
When she was much younger, a little boy teased her at school calling her a boy and it upset her. I had a talk with him. Benji and Corrina had no idea. Like hell if I was going to let her get hurt by anyone. Turns out the little boy had really liked her, but the only way he knew to give her attention was picking on her. We’d had a heart to heart about how to talk to a chick.
Now, I was listening to Ari cry over a guy because she wanted to have sex with him. I was ready to go beat the piss out of him. Anger flared with every second I sat there while she was hunched over shaking from crying so hard. I needed to just step back for a second before I could console her even a little. I stood up quickly and walked over to the window and stared out as I tried to gather my thoughts. I saw Aub in the reflection of the window wrap her arm around Ari, consoling her.
I inhaled deeply as I tried to regain control before talking to her. Dragging her back to her parents and letting them go off on her was my first thought, but Ari had come to me. She trusted me. I knew what that guy wanted to do to her. So did Benji. It was a wonder he let her go out on a date to begin with. She’s sixteen, I tried to remind myself. Of course, she wants to date. She’s a normal teenager with raging hormones. I closed my eyes and all I could see was that sweet little girl missing her two front teeth, skinny as a rail with hair always in tangles—a tomboy in a tiara. That thought actually made me want to smile until I opened my eyes and watched her in the reflection of the glass window.
“You said to come talk to you before I do it and…” She trailed off the moment I turned around to stare at her. She seemed to cower as our eyes met and then I remembered her birthday party. I’d made her promise to talk to me first. And here she is.
She’s fucking sixteen. She shouldn’t be having sex even though I knew that was a double standard since I had at her age. I dragged my fingers through my hair as I realized she had come to me for advice, not to be told she couldn’t. I hate this shit. Fuck.
I sat back down on the couch and rested my arms on my knees, attempting to calm down. I tried to keep my tone even, but damn it was tough.
“Did you bring up sex or did he?”
She sniffled a couple more times and looked up at me as she swallowed. Her fingers shook as she swiped at the tears on her cheeks. “He brought it up.” When my expression changed to murderous, she quickly added, “But I had mentioned that I wanted it too.”
Anger probably wouldn’t be the word that I felt. If that kid, Neal, had been in front of me I was pretty damn sure that little fucker wouldn’t be alive and I might be headed to jail.
I stood up again. Being so pissed off wasn’t going to help the situation and I really needed to calm down. I paced the kitchen for a moment trying to focus on the white tiled floor as I took in deep breaths.
“But he loves me!” Ari’s voice was shaky as she tried to convince me of the stupid lie that all guys use to get into a girl’s pants. Hell, I’d even used that when I was a teenager.
Whispers between the two brought me back to reality, but I still wasn’t calm enough to talk rationally to her. With one last deep breath, I walked back to the living room knowing what I needed to say to Ari. Aub was probably going to laugh at me, but I couldn’t care less what she thought of me. Ari came first.
I sat down still choosing my words carefully. “Ari, you don’t need to have sex in order to be a good girlfriend. A girlfriend is caring and listens…”
“And has sex,” she interrupted me. My eyes shot to hers. There was intensity in her stare as if she wanted me to understand where she was coming from. Except she forgot, I’d been there. There was nothing but hormones raging through a teenager’s body.
I shook my head and inhaled deeply. “Not necessarily.” I paused for a moment hoping to try to talk some sense into her. “What’s your hurry?”
I was glad she responded without thinking twice. “He’ll leave me if I don’t.” I knew it. That little fucker was pressuring her.
Reigning in every bit of anger so that I wouldn’t thrash out, I let her know the truth. “Then he’s not worth it. If you can’t do it because you want to, for you and not to please him, then you shouldn’t do it. That’s not respecting you. He’s just out to use you, in that case. You’ll just be a receptacle for him to place his dick in.” Yeah, a bit blunt, but I figured if she’s thinking about it, maybe I could shock her into not doing it.
Her eyes rested on the floor and then searched the apartment, as if that would provide her some response. I sat there hoping she’d just accept what I said and be done with it, but I knew that wasn’t the case. She’s a teenager and I remembered all too well all the thoughts swimming through her head. “What about all the girls Dad says you had sex with?”
I blinked and tried to remain calm. I might have to kill Benji…“What about them?” I asked, hoping she hadn’t overheard the conversations between her father and me.
“Well, are they just a receptacle?” She shot back.
I inhaled deep, this would probably hurt Aub, but Ari had to hear it. “Um, sort of. The girls I sleep with, they...” I quickly glanced over to Aub and she gave me a head nod. I took a deep breath and looked back to Ari. “The girls I sleep with just want sex. They know my reputation and understand I won’t do a relationship.” Her eyes caught mine, confused that I was so blatant with her. “That’s not you, Ari. You need to have more respect for yourself.” I grabbed her hands, as I looked her in the eye. “You’re better than that. Don’t let him use you just so he can go around school saying he tagged you.”
She shook her head emphatically. “He wouldn’t do that though. He’s not like that!”
I laughed as I looked at the ceiling, unsure of how to explain this to her without her feeling silly. “Ari. He’s a guy. A teenage guy full of hormones. It’s ingrained in you to just do it. But you need to think with your head and do what’s best for you. You say he loves you. That’s great. I hope to hell he does. But if he really does, he’ll wait until you’re ready.” She still wasn’t buying it.
“Sabrina says it’s not that big of a deal,” she said. She started biting the inside of her cheek and I knew she was at least thinking about what I said.
I laughed. “Of course she thinks that.” I shrugged. “That’s fine for her. That’s not you though, Ari.” I huffed. “Look. Sex is sex. It’s not going anywhere. It’s up to you who you’re going to let be your first and on your terms. If he’s pressuring you, saying he’ll leave you, then he’s not worth it at all.”
I took a deep breath and I knew she still wasn’t getting it. I lowered my voice and was as serious as possible so she’d hopefully understand. “Ari. Don’t let him use you just so you can say you finally had sex and he can run off telling all his buddies about you. Have respect for yourself and if he’s really such a great guy, he’ll understand that. If he leaves you because of that, then you’ll really know where you stand.” She looked away, tears brimming again in her eyes. I brushed one away with the pad of my thumb just as it spilled. “I know you’re going to have sex one day. Just do it for you and not because some guy tells you he’ll leave you if you don’t. Okay?” She nodded as her tears began to fall more and her body fell to mine. I held her while she hugged me and let her tears go. I glanced to Aub, who was giving me an appreciative smile as she patted my shoulder.
“Do you want to spend the night here or do you want me to take you back home?” I asked Ari as I squeezed her tight. She pulled back and wiped away her tears without answering me yet. “How’d you get here anyway?” The thought never occurred to me until just now.
She swallowed and gave a small laugh. “Taxi. I used the money you gave me for my birthday.”
I shook my head as I took out my wallet and handed her some money to replace it. “I’m going to call your dad and then take you back home, okay?” Her eyes grew wide and
she started shaking her head. “You need to talk to them. I’m sure they’re worried about you, Ari.” Her shoulders dropped in defeat as I took out my phone and dialed my cousin’s number. “It’ll be all right. I promise,” I reassured her.
AFTER DROPPING off Ari and having a quick chat with Benji about what Ari told me, I got back to the apartment. Aub’s door was shut, but I wasn’t sure if she was asleep or not. I rested the palm of my hand on her door debating on knocking. I had no idea what I would say or even if she would want to see me after what happened between us before I left for Allure.
I cringed when I recalled what I told Ari and Aub had to sit there listening. Besides thinking I’m a total hypocrite, I was sure it didn’t feel great hearing all that ‘respect yourself’ stuff. I wasn’t sure what I’d say to her about that and it also made me nervous about how I’d explain myself. I decided to call it a night and head to my room.
Gripping the silver doorknob in my hand, I pictured Aub lying in her bed. Thank fuck, it wasn’t the vision of her when she tried to take her life. No, this time it was the vision of her restless when I had watched her during her nightmare. Did she still have her nightmares? Now that her uncle was dead, did he still haunt her sleep? I hoped not, though a part of me wouldn’t mind if she needed to come sleep with me. But maybe she didn’t need that anymore. Maybe the rooftop was now her new calm.
My jeans fell to the floor and I stepped out of them as I walked toward my bathroom to brush my teeth. As I stared into the mirror I took off my glasses, still annoyed that I was coward enough to keep wearing them. It’s a crutch for me. These glasses had always helped me feel like no one can see my real feelings. If I stopped wearing them, I was pretty sure the chicks at the bar would ask why I no longer needed them. Rinsing my toothbrush under the cool water, I realized how stupid all of this was. Dumb lies. And for what? It was a stupid thing that started when I was young that helped me after my mom left.
I tumbled into bed and pulled the cool sheet over me. Staring at the ceiling, I closed my eyes and thought about Aub. Was she gazing at the white plaster above her head, too? Was she thinking about our kiss earlier tonight or the discussion I had with Ari? My eyelids felt heavy as I began to drift off.
My eyes popped open when I felt the mattress dip. I exhaled my startled breath as I turned to see Aub lie down next to me. A faint smile swept across her lips as I watched her resting on the pillow next to mine. Her silky black hair fanned around her, the moonlight peeking through the slats of the blinds created a halo of sorts around her. My fist tightened into a ball to resist the urge to touch her soft cheek.
“You’re supposed to be asleep,” she whispered with a small chuckle. My eyes darted to her full rosy lips and again, I fought another urge. This one was more of the primal type.
“I almost was.” I swallowed as I contemplated what to say next. “Can’t sleep?” It was the only thing I could come up with. Original, right? I guess that was better than attacking her without speaking.
“I never can. I thought since you and Tina aren’t together your door might be unlocked. I’m glad you left it open.”
“I was hoping you’d try out our new rule.” My eyes scanned her body. The same moonlight that created a halo around her head also surrounded her thin top and boxer shorts. They didn’t hide her shape whatsoever and I felt my cock harden wondering if she wore panties under the boxers. “You’re not following the rules though. I thought we agreed you should wear a tight Vampiress dress,” I teased.
I could barely make out her smile as her hand skimmed over her cami and shorts. I was pretty sure I liked this outfit way more than some other dress. The moonlight hit her curves, especially the outline of her breasts, just right. My fingers itched to reach over and skim her hard nipple. I was glad I at least had the sheet over me so she wouldn’t see how hard I was and think I’d take advantage of her coming to me.
Unless she wasn’t here to watch me sleep.
Aub let out a soft chuckle. “Yeah, I still haven’t shopped for that. You think you could help me paint my nails to match the outfit?” She asked.
Why the hell would she ask that? Then I remembered she was talking to Ari. Dammit. “Ugh. Did Ari tell you? She wasn’t supposed to tell a soul. I made Corrina give me her bottle of nail polish remover before I left the house.” I couldn’t help but laugh. Ari had been so proud of her artwork that day. I couldn’t let her see me take it off, but there was no way I’d stop at a store with bright pink nails.
“I think it’s sweet,” Aub whispered. The huskiness in her voice made my heart speed up and I inhaled deeply hoping to avert my initial desire to maul her body. The quiet that filled the room didn’t help either. I turned my gaze to the ceiling, hoping to get some control over my thoughts. With any other girl, I wouldn’t have cared. With Aub…I didn’t want to chance messing it up with her. Messing what up?
“About earlier tonight…” I began.
“You don’t have to say anything,” Aub whispered, interrupting me. Again, the silence covered the room like a heavy blanket surrounding us. I wasn’t sure what else I should say to her. Was she hurt by what I said to Ari or with what I tried with her earlier? I felt like such an asshole. And an even bigger one for being so damned hard for her right now.
Hoping she wouldn’t notice, I rolled to my side to face her. Propping my elbow on my pillow, I rested my head on my hand. I thought about how Tina always got mad at me for never doing pillow talk with her. A chuckle escaped my lips before I could control it.
“What’s so funny?” Aub asked, her voice soft in the dead quiet of the room.
“Nothing. I…um.”
“Who’d you sleep with tonight?” Aub asked interrupting the apology I was trying to get out. Her question surprised me. But I could understand why she’d think that’s what I’d done after leaving the apartment earlier tonight.
“No one,” I answered with pure honesty. Again, it was quiet between us.
She lowered her head onto the pillow, but kept her hands under her head.
“Would you have been upset if I had?” That was a stupid question. Of course, she would have been. Why the hell did I ask that? “Nevermi…”
“Yes.” Her reply was quick and seemed to echo throughout the bedroom. Yet that one response from her made my heart pound. Was it fear or excitement? Fear because she might want a relationship I could never give her? Or was it excitement because she might want that with me?
After a long silence, I dared myself to ask, “Why?”
“I’m not sure. I just know I would be,” her voice was back to barely a whisper. The huskiness was overshadowed by slight insecurity. Timid. Something I hadn’t heard from her before. The need to protect her, to care for her was overwhelming. I reached over and pulled her to me, holding her close to my chest. I felt her sigh and nestle her body into mine. I knew I’d get hot during the night. It was the reason I always pushed Tina away when she begged to cuddle after sex, but with Aub it just felt…right.
Before I knew it, my fingers thrummed through her hair feeling the silkiness over my skin. I pulled her closer and kissed the top of her head. I closed my eyes realizing how much I really enjoyed this.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
Aubrey
I WOKE up early the next morning as the sunlight’s rays lit up the room through the slats of the blinds. Soft snores were the only sounds in the room. Clark’s arm was wrapped tightly around me. I’d never slept with a man without screwing him first, let alone had a man ever hold me through the night.
I was more than willing to stay in his warmth, but I knew it would be awkward when he woke. What would we say? I determined it would be easier to face elsewhere in the apartment, so I slid out from his hold and managed to stand at the edge of his bed without waking him.
Suppressing a giggle, I continued to enjoy the view. Just as always, the form of Clark’s body under his sheet was a sight to behold. With his legs spread wide and the other arm that hadn’t held me draped acros
s the rest of the bed, he enjoyed taking up all the space. My eyes lingered on his maleness that defined the term “morning wood” so very well. It made my mouth water and it took everything I had not to wake him with my mouth wrapped around his hard cock.
His tousled brown hair was just begging me to sift my fingers through it. I pressed my lips together as my eyes grazed over his chiseled jaw line with the perfect amount of scruff. Feeling the blood surge through me just from taking in every inch of him made my nipples harden and a strong need in my sex blossom. Watching his tongue sweep across his lips caused me to groan inwardly. Just the thought of tasting his mouth again sent a flurry of erotic thoughts through me.
As much as my desire wanted to take over, I managed to leave his room with just my fantasies. Crossing that line and possibly ruining our friendship was not something I wanted to do. I wasn’t sure if his feelings for me went any further than me being a good friend he wanted to sleep with again. I just…didn’t want to chance not having him in my life anymore because I couldn’t keep my legs closed. Not to mention his little talk with Ariana last night. Listening to him talk to her reaffirmed what my therapist and I had discussed. Respecting yourself and choosing a partner because he cares about you more than for just a one-night stand was a concept that I needed to grasp.
After throwing on some yoga pants and a top to conceal a little more than my thin camisole top I’d slept in, I walked into the kitchen. I decided a nice little breakfast might break the ice for both of us. Or at least that was what I was hoping. I couldn’t help but wonder if he would act differently around me now that I’d taken him up on his offer to lie down with him instead of just watching him sleep.
“She barely eats, but she cooks,” Clark’s morning voice startled me. Smiling at him, I stirred the eggs a little more.
“I eat. Maybe you’re just never home when I stuff my face,” I teased, happy that it wasn’t uncomfortable between us. He reached over and nabbed a piece of cooked bacon from the plate. I could feel his eyes on me. Maybe I was wrong to assume it wouldn’t be weird this morning.
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