He stopped and drew up the chair Mary had left for him. He sat in it with his arms folded across the back, facing a still noncommittal audience. So much for the introductory notes, he thought; now to jab them a little.
"Some say there is no proof that there is a God" He detected small nervous stirrings. "An alleged proof of God's existence offered as logical is this reasoning: everything in this world depends on something having happened before it. If we imagine something that did not depend on a previous occurrence—the first thing that ever existed, that thing is God.
"The atheist answers 'Baloney! Where did this god come from?' to which the believer answers, 'He was that first thing.' The atheist replies, ' The hydrogen atom was all that initially existed,' and in dreary repetition, the believer trumpets, 'and where did that hydrogen atom come from? Why from God, of course!'
"There is another proof, if I may use the term unscientifically for a moment. That is when an individual points to the magnificence of the heavens and asks if the disbeliever really thinks all of this just happened? The boundless universe certainly presents an awesome spectacle of godlike powers. While not proof in the accepted sense, I think we will agree it is a stirring argument.
"However, it then raises the equally logical question that if a God exists who is capable of such gigantic creations as billions of suns, what special interest could such a god have in a self-destructive environment, destroying creatures like human beings?"
He looked at his audience and saw their interest. He practiced the technique of successful speakers and fed the fires with more of the same.
"I feel sure you have all heard of the 'God is dead' concept." Nods of agreement. "Such a concept as God dying presupposes that God must have been born; therefore, From what and When?
"Another intriguing visualization of god is that he is much like the caretaker of a golf course. He is concerned with a huge lawn in which there are countless blades of grass. To improve the whole he might cut out a bad patch. In so doing, he injures or destroys perfectly innocent individual blades within the bad grass. When he mows his lawn it is for overall effect and many blades that may not have needed mowing are injured. Some thinkers describe such a god to explain the suffering of innocents or the untimely death of good people."
He rose from his chair and stood closer to his audience. "There is a concept of humanity that may be growing in popularity along with our current concern with ecology and environmental problems. Those who ascribe to this theory look upon humanity as no more than a sort of fungus that has spread across the earth's thin crust and which, like many unstable growths, will flourish violently and die off quickly. Humanity, as they see it, is another dinosaurish variant that is mere incident in a mindless evolutionary process. Humanity has no significance, except to itself, and will, through its inability to adjust to its environment, destroy itself."
He stopped and enjoyed the rapt expressions on the faces of his audience. The teacher's greatest reward&,dash;opening new channels of thought. God, how he loved it!
"The ideas I have been tossing around are neither new nor revolutionary. They, and countless others, have been juggled and debated since earliest times. They are part of our intellectual heritage and they are concepts with which the knowledgeable should be familiar.
"I could give you many more but there are undoubtedly other areas of religious background that are of interest to you, so let me open the floor for questions or comments."
He added with careful sincerity, "Let's remember that we are dealing here strictly in ideas and are not interested in attacking anyone's personal beliefs or preferences. Ours is an objective discussion; we are searching for information. Some of it may be useful. Much we should recognize as mere hokum. We are, in a sense, engaged in mental gymnastics on the subject of religion. It is good exercise for the mind, but let's also be careful to weigh our arguments and points of view on a sensitive scale before we announce that ours is the one and only word or the one and only way.
"The words of a professor I studied under many years ago ring true in my ears. He contended that the study of religion is a long and complex one. If you study hard enough you will undoubtedly become an atheist. If you stop there you may remain one, but if you persevere you will, in good time, discover a belief based on knowledge rather than the blind acceptance of youth. Your belief in a supreme being will then be unshakable.
"So let me stop and open now for questions or ideas. What have we got?"
Obviously a number of students had been waiting their chance to question for hands shot up throughout the audience. Troop picked one, an intense young man he enjoyed in his history classes.
"Wilmer?"
"Mr. Troop, haven't human beings always, as long as we have recorded history that is, believed in some kind of god or gods, and isn't that continuing belief in itself a sort of proof of god's existence?"
"Well, Wilmer, I doubt we would think much of the earlier forms of worship. Perhaps we should think of them as a searching for explanations of things not understood. Isn't it possible that man created gods to explain the unexplainable and to have someone or something to blame when things went wrong?
"To answer your question more directly, I doubt that endurance of an idea is proof of validity. For example, our ancestors thought the earth to be the center of the universe until relatively recent times. Now we recognize it as a minor planet of a minor sun. The point being that those thousands of years of acceptance were wrong. Still, it is curious how human minds insist on there being a god. Anyone have any thoughts on Wilmer's question?"
"Yes, Mr. Troop, I have."
"Shoot, Sylvia."
"I'd just like to point out that it is easy to claim God doesn't exist mainly because his presence is so immense our frail minds simply cannot comprehend him. The idea you brought up, Mr. Troop, about something having always been as proof of God? Because we can't imagine something having always been doesn't change the fact that there just had to be something that began it all and that therefore always was."
She stopped, scratching her head and said, "Well, I know there were a lot of always was's in there, but you get the idea."
"I got it all right. Did everybody else?"
"Mr. Troop, every time we get together somebody gets us into an argument over whether there is or isn't a god. I'd like to talk about something else for a change."
"Ok, Fred. What's your interest?"
"Well, I was wondering if you could give us a really condensed philosophy concerning religion that would give us something to think about and talk over. You know, some concept that we haven't had before. Something other than the Catholic versus the Presbyterian we usually get."
Troop thought a moment, searching through the files of barracks discussions, books read, and his few courses in religion, stored but unfiled in his memory.
"I can't know exactly what ground you've covered, but here is a two-ended reasoning that might interest you and it certainly can be argued effectively either way.
"In earliest times, humans believed in many gods. There was a god of fire, another of wind, one of water, a god of about everything. Animals were at times felt to be gods, as were natural phenomena such as the sun or violent storms.
"In time, human knowledge eliminated these gods. Our forbearers began to understand about fire, and god was driven from the elephant, for we learned it was just another animal, merely greater in size. In time the Zeus's and Apollo's were discredited and the concept of one god came into favor. Most great religions are now based on a single god concept.
"In a sense then, God has been driven from the mountain and from a home in the sea. We no longer consider him living in the wind or on the sun. Our space probes fail to locate heaven anywhere out there and, in most recent times, heaven has been moved from a few thousand feet straight up into what is now generally known as 'another dimension.'
"We have driven God out of most things. We have then narrowed his presence and perhaps pushed him further away.
"From this point we can diverge in two directions, one side argues that with our increased knowledge we have more clearly defined God; that we have rid ourselves of false knowledge and are approaching the 'real God' more closely all the time. Further evidence for this school of thought will be displayed when the world religions accept one God for all of us. Many believe that such consolidation is inevitable and held back mainly by man's insistence that his course is right and the other guy's is all wrong.
"That is one ending to the idea of removing god from the winds, the beasts, and the skies. The other is as readily grasped. It holds that the idea of god is being narrowed as knowledge increases and that we have already forced that ridiculous idea into outer space, and as we continue to learn, the concept of god will be driven from every crevice and hiding place until even the most dull-witted has to admit there just isn't any such being and that there never was a god."
Hands shot up all over the library. Voices rose in excitement or protest. Troop laughingly held up his hands requesting control and attention.
"Look, people, I threw that theory out as grist for your own mills. As Fred pointed out, we are again back at the god questioning stage. Suppose you work it around in your own groups at your leisure and let me toss another concept at you."
He strode to the window and back to his chair, conscious of their gazes and organizing a concept he believed they would enjoy. Ready, he captured their eyes and allowed them to reason.
"An overwhelming majority in our county are Christian. Therefore, all of us are closely concerned with the Christian faith. Now, in that faith there are four gospels. We know them as Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John. My proposition to you is this:
"Should these gospels be accepted exactly as they are, as God's exact words? Or should we use the gospels as sort of guidelines while we as individuals form personal gospels made up of what we as thinking, reasoning beings come to believe as true and right?"
He let them mull the concept for a moment, and as ideas and answers began to form and hands rose he again sought their attention.
"Ok, now work on it among yourselves. Listen to the other's reasoning and try not to overpower anyone with your own. Learn from your group and don't try to force your reasoning into becoming their reasoning."
They accepted the plan with relish. Almost greedily they grasped at anything thought provoking, Troop noted. He had never ceased to wonder at the pleasure derived from discovering new things. Thinking—imagining—how good they were!
He moved from group to group listening to the discussions, inserting a comment here, settling a point there. He watched the clock and when a few moments remained, called them together and asked for their thoughts. Had they progressed, was there anything the entire group should attack, and could he give them a final thought or two?
''Yes, David, what have you got?"
"Mr. Troop, whenever you give us an idea you don't tell us whose idea it was. You know, what book it came out of, or who was the author, or what great man said it. How come almost every other teacher does and you don't?"
"Well, sometimes I do, Dave, if I'm concerned that you remember who said it. Sometimes in history class I identify quotations because we are studying people and their ideas.
"But you are right. Ordinarily I do not give you an idea bracketed by quotation marks and supported by a great name. The reason is that I want you to consider the statement on its own merits and not be influenced because of who said it. If I pop an idea at you such as, 'a man can become a slave to his own possessions,' you can evaluate it based on your own thinking and experience. But if I preface that with 'Henry David Thoreau said,' could you look at the question as objectively, judge the statement as honestly, or evaluate it as clearly? My thinking is that you might not. Clear enough?"
They exchanged a few more comments and he let the students go. The committee hung behind to thank him and engage in a few more remarks. The night custodian was waiting with deliberate impatience outside the library door. No doubt his favored schedule thrown out of kilter by the evening meeting. Troop appreciated his feelings and with a "Good night", headed homeward himself.
Outside the school a small knot of students had gathered, still debating a point. He broke them up with insistence that they get home before parents began calling Mr. Boden to find them.
Off they went, voices still too high for adult acceptance . . . chattering back and forth, arms waving, whoops and laughter rising above the general hubbub.
Ben Troop walked to his car, got in, and drove to the welcome stillness of his apartment.
+++++
Germany, 1954
They sat silently, slouched comfortably against a common tree. Each carefully observed a different field of fire. Together they controlled a wide avenue of forest. Little could pass unseen by one or the other. Their rifles were cradled across their thighs, one muzzle to the left, the other pointing to the right.
Andy tested the wind direction, wetting his finger with his tongue and holding it upright to feel coolness on the upwind side where the tiny breeze evaporated moisture. "Wind's good! They should come through all right. Think I'll grab a smoke while I can."
No answer was called for and Troop gave none, remaining still, except for his right hand which lightly caressed the highly polished walnut of his rifle stock.
Andy lit a Camel and closed the lid on the Zippo with caution, lest the metallic sound alert the woods around them. He cleared leaves from a small area to his left and, using a twig, dug a small hole into which he could quickly grind his cigarette and safely cover it with ground. It was an old trick, common among combat soldiers. Having dug a thousand like it on two continents and a few islands, he made the preparation without conscious thought.
Of course this wasn't combat. It was a quiet German forest and in 1954, peace reigned over all. Over all meant Capt. Anderson's military police company. Instead of clumsy M-1 rifles or ineffectual .30 caliber carbines, he and First Sergeant Troop rested handsome sporting weapons across their laps. Instead of greasy combat fatigues, they wore the woods green popular with the European forest masters and particularly the German Jaegers.
Andy Anderson liked it a lot better peaceful. Let people claim what they would, no one desired war less than the soldier. Andy didn't like it at all; neither did Ben Troop, slouched beside him.
Friendship had developed between Captain Anderson and his first sergeant. It was partially a common background. Both considered themselves fighting men. It was also athletic interests. Although Anderson had never matched Troop's boxing championships, he played most sports.
Then there was the hunting. Both men enjoyed the woods and the fields. They were exceptional marksmen and genuine sportsmen. They hunted now for the grand trophy or at least for the difficult shot. They often returned gameless, for they achieved no satisfaction in merely executing another animal.
Andy considered their friendship a good thing, although a little unusual. Generally, commissioned officers avoided off duty relationships with non-coms and Andy agreed in principle. Familiarity with subordinates usually compounded problems. It made an officer more vulnerable. He had in two wars known officers who prided themselves on buddying with their men. To Andy's thinking, it had been bad for all concerned. Calling your commanding officer "Charlie" helped no one when improbable missions were handed out. Familiarity increased the possibility that someone would tell "Charlie" where he could put his orders.
First Sergeant Troop was to Anderson a rare exception. He never took liberties because of their friendship, and within the unit, Troop's rock-steady dependability and competence commanded at least as much respect as that granted Captain Anderson. Andy valued Troop both as a soldier and a friend.
In most areas, Captain and First Sergeant remained impersonal. They enjoyed their hunting and regularly battled through exhausting matches on the handball court. They spoke little of their private lives and never visited the other's quarters or hung around together. Andy did
not know which brand of onion soup Troop consumed and Troop did not inquire into the captain's female preferences. The friendship had endured two years of occupation duty but was soon to be terminated. It was that way with military friendships. They grew and blossomed with the assignment and usually ended with the transfer of one or both persons.
Captain Anderson had a special fondness for Ben Troop. In his top sergeant, he saw unusual ability being wasted or, at best, only partly used. Troop had never shown any inclination toward becoming a commissioned officer and now, with eleven years of enlisted service under his belt, he doubted Troop's desire to alter his Army career.
"Seen a copy of my orders, Ben?"
"Yeah, captain. Got a copy from message center yesterday about 1100."
"For Christ sake, I didn't see them till after work. Aren't there any channels around this place?"
Troop chuckled, "Only sure one I know runs from the main gate to Schultz's Gasthaus."
There was silence between them for a moment. "I'll miss this outfit, Ben."
"Not for long, captain. You know the old saying: There's only two good outfits in the Army; the one you just came from and the one you are going to . . . but when you get to looking around, most are about the same."
"How much longer you got, sarge?"
"About nine years."
"No, I mean till you rotate,"
"Oh, thought you meant until I retire—about a year. I may extend though. Still, maybe not. I'd like to get an Alaskan assignment."
"Look me up in a year. I ought to be settled into the Pentagon pretty solid by then. Maybe I can cut a little tape for you."
"It's a deal, captain. Wouldn't mind a tour in the cold country yourself, would you?"
"Jesus, would I like that! Now that's real hunting! God, I'd like to level down on a big Kodiak." Then more soberly, "I don't know about this Pentagon assignment, though."
"Got to take the bad with the good, captain. Say, about time the drive started, isn't it?"
"Yeah, ought to hear the horn anytime. Today, I'm going to shoot the biggest boar in all Germany."
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