Trained for Seduction

by Mia Downing

  What scared her most was his accusation that she’d spent the day with Jake the day after the debriefing.

  Chase had given her too much time to think after her injury, leaving her all alone, and she had needed some closure on the Emma side of her life. She’d been deep undercover, breaking every rule they’d put in place concerning her new identity. Chase the rule maker, the rule follower, would be pissed as hell if he knew.

  She tucked her hair behind her ear. “What are you talking about? I have never slept with Jake or anyone else but you. Just you.”

  “Do you love him?” he repeated, louder, a little more anxious.

  “Yes, but not like I love you. You love him, too, so don’t be pissy about it.”

  “Fuck.” He closed his eyes and seemed to count to ten. “See? This is why I think I have shitty luck. I have waited over a year to hear you love me, and it’s in conjunction with loving him.”

  A year. He’d waited a year… “You told me I couldn’t love you. I would have said those words long before today if you allowed it. But you didn’t. That’s not shitty luck. That’s poor judgment or bad planning on your part. Not luck.”

  “But you love him.”

  Anger fed off his holier-than-thou tone. “Yes, and like I said, so do you, so you should get it. He’s my best friend. I didn’t have friends when I was Emma, so meeting Jake was like Christmas morning for me, every day. You were Mr. Popular in high school. I was a virgin for you because I spent every day in the lab or with tutors. I didn’t have the opportunity to meet a boy, never mind have sex.”

  “Do you want him, then?”

  Good question. Did she? “Not like I want you. You are like sexual crack for me, especially these last few weeks when you wouldn’t touch me. I crave you. And yes, Jake was the last person to make me come, but I don’t want him to take care of this horrible need I have.”

  His jaw set, just like Jake’s. The two were closer than even they realized.

  She blew out an exasperated breath. “What I did with Jake doesn’t change how I feel about him sexually. He’s an attractive man, and it’s exciting that he’s wanted me.

  “But you need to remember that I could have had Jake first, long before I even knew who you were. I didn’t, because stupid Emma fell in love with a certain businessman who took her to third base the night before her twenty-fifth birthday.”

  Chase’s stance changed, the tension oozing from his shoulders.

  “Jake is a special, wonderful man. He saved my life, for you. And yes, I think I owe him something—you owe him, too. And if having a threesome with you and Jake kills two birds with one stone, then so be it.”

  He studied her and she knew his mind was whirling a mile a minute, even if it didn’t show in his eyes. “If you didn’t fuck him the day after the debriefing, then where did you go?”

  She had to tread very carefully. “How do you know I went anywhere?”

  “I tracked your phone to the house, but when I came home to talk to you, you were gone. Your phone was on the counter. You had no calls, just the texts I’d seen from Jake and Charlotte. So you used your second phone to call someone and do something all day. And when I questioned you that night, you froze, like you were guilty.”

  “A deer in the headlights,” she whispered.

  She had thought she was over feeling that way with him when he stared at her like that. She didn’t question the fact that he’d snooped at her phone. She knew he had on several occasions, and she had nothing to hide. The second phone he must have seen when she dropped her purse that night when he questioned her. Guilty as charged, except not how he thought.

  “A guilty deer in the headlights,” he amended. “When I went and tracked Jake’s phone, he was at the club. I did some digging, and he’d been there all day. He told me once that when he found that special girl, he was booking a room and fucking her for eight hours straight. You were gone, so…”

  “Maybe he has a girlfriend now.” But Jake didn’t do girlfriends. She wasn’t with him, but she couldn’t admit to Chase where she’d gone, either. Chase had enough ammo against her. “I swear to you, I’ve never slept with him. Never. And any thought of sleeping with him has only been in conjunction with you.”

  “Then where were you?”

  Leave it, Chase. Please. “It was personal. Maybe I’d have to tell you if this were work because I broke a whole bunch of rules and the boss part of you would be pissed as hell. But you—I’m nothing to you. I’m not your girlfriend, I’m not your lover. I don’t exist or belong.”

  His eyes glittered dangerously in a body carved from stone. “You want me to pull the boss card? Is that what you want?”

  “What would that solve, Chase? You’d still hate me.” She stared out at the shooting range, remembering how he had expanded her shooting skills. He’d been the boss then and she hadn’t even known it.

  She sighed. “The funny thing is, if you were just my boss, this would have been over a long time ago. You would have called me into your office, bitched me out, then you would have made me run, just like everyone else.

  “And as much as I have hated you as a boss, I think right now I would prefer him to the judgmental bastard you’ve become. The boss made it quite clear he would destroy any shred of innocence I had left.

  “You—you look at me like I’m a whore because of what work made me do with your best friend. And then you kill me quietly, with your silence.”

  He blanched, as if she’d slapped him. “You think I’m judgmental?”

  “Yes. I do.”

  The armor slipped and she caught a glimpse of the depth of his suffering. It tore at her heart because she didn’t want that. She just wanted to love him.

  “Chase, this doesn’t have to ruin us. You don’t understand how I love you. My love for you is all-consuming, complete, and it kept me alive and running when I should have fallen and died. What I feel for Jake is nothing compared to what I feel for you. He’s a second cousin I’d fuck if you’d let me, but you…I gave you my soul. I told you I was yours. All yours.”

  She had his attention. He stared and swallowed, and she knew she had to press on, to lay down the last card that showed exactly how much she loved him. “I would die for Jake. I almost did. But I would die for you first. That’s how much I love you.”

  And he said nothing, his emotions so tightly in check as he still stared.

  And the knife twisted in her heart. She pushed away from the bench and took out her phone.

  “What are you doing?”

  “Texting Jake to come get me. I’m going out with him for a bit. He’s my best friend, and I haven’t seen him since the debriefing. I need to start looking for a house, I think, and he said he would go with me.

  “Unless you open up, unless you start giving me something other than this mask you wear, we’re done. I can’t live like this, with your silence and anger, thinking I’m nothing better than a whore. I did that with my father, and you know how that ended.”

  “I don’t think that. You’re not a whore.”

  “I wouldn’t know what you think. You haven’t talked to me at all. Not as my boss, not as my lover.” She sighed. “I can’t tell you what to do as my boyfriend. You made it clear I’d never be your girlfriend. You didn’t want one.”

  She assessed him, knowing this would be taken way out of line. She would deserve to be punished for this, but she had to tell him.

  “But as my boss, you dropped the ball. I needed you. I needed to talk to you, I needed to know if what I did was right, and I needed you to be there for me when I faced your uncle at the debriefing. But you dropped the ball, and Jake had to step in.

  “So. How lucky am I? I’m really lucky because when the man I love chokes, his best friend is there for me.”

  “How long will you be gone?” he asked, his voice hoarse.

  “A few hours. You can think during that time, and make a decision. If you want me to come back, for good, it will be as a girlfriend. I can’t be
nothing. And that’s what I am. I’m nothing to anyone, except Jake. I am the second cousin he’d like to fuck. How sad is that?”

  She bit back the tears, hating the cold face staring back at her. Damn him. Damn him straight to hell, where he resided anyway.

  “If you decide you want me, then I expect you to make love to me, properly. And if you don’t want a threesome, fine. But you need to say you’re sorry to Jake, for being an asshole.”

  “And if I don’t want to?” He was so sexy, even as sullen and cold as he was. She hated her attraction to him. Hopefully that would die along with her love when he turned her away.

  “Then it’s over. I’ll transfer somewhere else, if the powers-that-be will let me. You know I can run and hide, and I could do that, too. I’m prepared.

  “Honestly, I don’t see us working. Jake said you loved me, in that cell. And I don’t believe it. Maybe you loved me as Emma, but there is no way you love Kate. Because if you loved me…”

  She wiped a tear from her face, not caring if he saw them. “I would die for you, and I feel like I already have. When I almost died, I went to that place where you said you’d be, where you would wait if something bad happened. I feel like I woke up from the hospital, and that’s where I still am. In that place. Waiting. Only it hurts.”

  She turned away, and then she looked back at him one last time, his hands in his pockets, every inch dark and dangerous.

  She said softly, “I’m done waiting.”

  Chapter Nineteen

  When Kate left, Chase went back out to the range with a rifle. He shot sniper-style, prone on the cold ground, motionless for what seemed eons, picturing Jake consoling Kate before he loaded the bullet and took the shot.

  Funny, he wasn’t as accurate when Jake’s face loomed in his mind, especially when Kate was right about his best friend. Right about all of it. He sighed, cleared his mind from the self-loathing and then went back to the deadly accuracy he was accustomed to.

  He could easily take Jake out of the equation—a crowded room, a busy street. He’d done it many times over in his past life and no one would even suspect him. A part of Chase knew he was being an ass. It was his mission, he had asked Jake to partake. But damn it, he had gone too far, as far as Chase the friend was concerned. Chase the boss—he sided with Jake.

  So yes, he could kill Jake. But then he’d be out a best friend, one that he owed his life to for saving Kate, and Kate would be pissed as hell. The guilt would eat him alive.

  So that left him two choices. He could grow up and realize Kate was right or she would walk away forever and he would continue to suffer like she was suffering, in that place she said she had waited for him.

  He understood how she felt because she had put perfect words to his selfish misery. She had said she was done waiting, and the look in her eyes told him she meant it.

  He shifted on the cold ground, his bad knee throbbing. Ignoring the problem had been just as bad as losing control, and he ached to hold Kate again, to have her back in his arms, his life. He was just so damned jealous and felt less than a man, letting his best friend take her to the brink of hell and back while he sat back and commanded it all.

  Then the accusations, what an ass on his part. He could have manned up and asked her, and he had tried, but she hadn’t been home the day after the debriefing and he’d assumed the worst.

  Her admission of loving Jake did make him squirm. Yes, she loved him. He’d deal with that somehow because he loved Jake, too. More than he’d admit to anyone unless they planned on dying. But fuck, a threesome? He shoved that aside to deal with later.

  If she wasn’t with Jake the day after the debriefing, though, where was she? She hinted of rule breaking, and that gave him a shiver of apprehension. The stuff she’d told him so far made him want to vomit. That the bomb was hers, how she escaped, how many languages she knew. She was her own special brand of time bomb, waiting to go off unless someone kept her under control.

  Control. He snorted. Fuck control.

  He loaded another bullet and took aim, the shooting calming his nerves, clearing his mind so the flow of thoughts made some semblance of sense.

  It was hard to admit Kate was right, about all of it. Definitely about Jake. As mad as parts of him were, Jake was his best friend. Jake had saved his life, too. And Jake would never cross the line Chase had drawn when it came to Kate, not unless he thought they were dead ducks.

  He slung the rifle over his shoulder and trudged back to the house. What hurt the most, though, was the fact that she’d accused him of being a bad boss.

  And she was right. He had let her down. He should have kept one of the appointments she had made to see him at the office and let her know she had been just as amazing as Jake had said she’d been.

  Though parts of him were jealous and angry, the boss in him was proud beyond belief. She had done exactly what he asked, down to the last cross of the t, dot of the i. Even Jake wasn’t that amazing.

  Chase banged the mud off his boots and entered through the mudroom off the back. She had discussed a threesome, with Jake, and a part of him was terrified of going there, maybe because she wanted it, too, and that took away some of his control.

  He’d never shared a woman he cared about with Jake. They only had one-night affairs, set up for mutual fun. He wasn’t so sure about sharing someone this important to him. But watching her with Jake in the clearing had given him one hell of a raging hard-on. The two of them could give her so much pleasure…didn’t she deserve that?

  Part of the reason he liked threesomes was that it gave him a chance to be with Jake as well—not sexually. But they also shared a special closeness, and he understood too well how Kate felt after Jake saved her life. A threesome should enhance that bond they all shared, shouldn’t it?

  Chase went downstairs, stowed his rifle, and went back to the kitchen. His phone dinged, and he looked. Jake, which surprised him. Jake had gone silent in the texting department after the debriefing, and Chase knew damned well why—because Chase was an asshole.

  If you don’t want her, then let me know now. She thinks she can handle facing you again, but she can’t. So just let me know, and I’ll come get her things.

  Chase sighed and reread the text. The devil in him pictured them in a hotel room, her curled naked against Jake’s chest.

  But he knew where they were—in that damned coffee shop Jake loved, her crying, him holding her hand. She had been so brave, facing him. Braver than he had been. Jake was a good friend to step in, again, and clean up his mess. It was over. He would be a man and make amends, with both of them.

  And hopefully, she’d stay.

  You can bring her home. I’m done being an ass.

  I may not be good enough to pull off a crowded room, but I can do a busy street.

  Yes, Jake was good enough, and the warning was very clear. Fuck this up and Chase would pay. I care about her. I’m an asshole. I’m sorry.

  As badly as Chase wanted to text I love her, he couldn’t. He didn’t want to proclaim his love and then have her even more devastated when a ménage with Jake didn’t work out. He still feared she’d run, screaming, if he took her to the club or brought Jake to their bed.

  It took a minute for Jake to respond. Your girl doesn’t like lattes.

  Chase laughed, erasing the tension. No, his girl liked plain old coffee with cream and one sugar, just like he liked it.

  That one text meant the world to him. Jake had basically said he accepted his apology, and that Kate was all Chase’s. He’d apologize again, in person, but it was a start. Bring me a coffee?

  With or without arsenic?

  Chase knew that came from Kate, reminding him of her perusal of the periodic table when he had said she couldn’t come. He laughed again. She can poison me later if she doesn’t like my apology.

  Done deal. See you in thirty.

  Chase felt better about his choice, lighter in his heart than he’d felt since he waited with Jake in the waiting room f
or word if she was still alive. If he wanted them both, Jake and Kate, he had to give in and allow the unknown to grow into whatever it would be.

  Jake was always allowed on the inside of the mask, but he had to allow Kate in, too, to see the man he really was if a relationship was going to work. He had to trust his gut.

  His mind made up, he began to make plans, phone calls. That’s what he did best. He searched the fridge and pulled out food, enough for an army, hopefully enough to please her.

  ****

  A half hour later Chase heard the crunch of gravel and went to the window to watch as Kate and Jake got out of the car. She laughed at something Jake said as she pulled her purse over her shoulder, so at ease, so beautiful it made him ache.

  Jake went to her side of the car and said something else, reaching for her hand, and fear crossed her face. She glanced at Jake, then at the house, and Chase felt the impact of her pain, her terror, in his gut.

  She went to get back in the car, and Jake stopped her, grabbing her shoulders, whispering something earnest. If he didn’t know them better, he’d guess Jake was conning her into his bed, convincing Kate to leave.

  But Chase knew them, knew Jake. His friend was convincing her to take the last steps to the door, to close the distance between them, to find out if Chase wanted her, after all.

  Chase knew he was such an asshole. What man deserved a best friend like that? Not him. He turned and went back into the kitchen, to finish his plans.

  Kate closed her eyes and rested her head against Jake’s chest, knowing if Chase looked out of the window right then, it was over. At this moment, Jake was the only thing keeping her in the driveway, in Chase’s life. But Chase would see it as something else, something sexual that crossed the line. Jake was her friend. She only wanted Chase.

  “C’mon, sweetheart. We’re almost there.”

  His voice reminded her of their escape through the woods and how he’d urged her on. Since that day, he’d dropped the darlin’ and called her sweetheart. She knew he had changed, too. “I can’t.”

  He kissed her temple. “You fought your way out of a compound of madmen with a gunshot wound, and you can’t go up those steps to see the guy you love? Chicken.”