by Tina Wells
“You need to fix it, Zee,” Ally advised. “Jasper’s one of your best friends. You don’t want to mess that up.”
“You’re right!” Zee said, more determined than ever to make things with Jasper right again. “As soon as we log off, I’m going to make time for us to work on the project together.”
“You’re welcome!” Ally called.
Zee blew a kiss at the computer screen. “Love ya!”
* * *
I’ve been trying to understand
The way I feel when I hold your hand.
I’m so sure yet I’m so confused.
When you’re away I don’t know the truth.
* * *
13
Mind Over Matter
“I realized that the most successful project will be the one that the judges find accessible and directly useful,” Jasper told Zee later that afternoon. She had arranged to meet him at his house, and he was catching her up.
“So I designed an experiment that could be used in virtually any classroom. It tests whether taking exams while listening to classical music can improve students’ test scores,” Jasper explained.
“Cool beans!” Zee said. “I feel bad that I didn’t really help with the idea.”
“Actually,” Jasper began, “you did.”
“Really? How?”
“Remember when we were riding our bikes to school with Chloe, and you said that everyone likes some kind of music?”
A smile crept across Zee’s face as she began to catch on.
“You also mentioned that music affects mood,” Jasper continued. “That made me wonder—”
“—if it affects mood enough to make a stressful situation better—like taking a test!”
Jasper pushed his glasses higher on his nose. “Exactly!”
“How do we prove it?” Zee asked.
“Well, since that is just the hypothesis, I am not sure we will prove it.”
“Got it. So we have to get a bunch of students to take an exam with classical music playing and other students to take it with no classical music playing,” Zee said. “How are we going to do that?” Zee wondered aloud.
“We have a test coming up in Mr. Zona’s math class. He has several seventh grade math sections, so I have asked him to play music for some of his students and not for other students.”
Zee caught on. “So he’ll give the tests to some of his students with no music playing and to some of his students with music in the background,” she said.
“Precisely!” A huge smile spread across Jasper’s face. It had been so long since Zee had seen him smile without looking nervous. She started to get that feeling in her stomach that is sort of a combination of what you feel when you’re watching a scary movie or opening up a present. In other words, it was a completely confusing feeling.
Zee snapped back into science mode. Ally was right—Zee did not want to ruin her friendship with Jasper, no matter what happened between the two of them.
“We need to figure out what other factors might affect results,” Jasper continued, “so we can exclude any variables.”
“Like whether students take the test before or after lunch?” Zee half asked and half suggested.
“Exactly!” Jasper wrote Zee’s idea down in his notebook. “Let’s come up with some other variables.”
Jasper responded enthusiastically to all of Zee’s ideas. But the more Jasper told Zee her suggestions were “magnificent,” the more Zee wondered if Jasper was saying those things as a science partner or a friend. Zee knew he’d been thinking about this project a lot more than she had.
“We’ll need to give Mr. Zona very clear instructions on how to administer the tests to make the process as standard as possible,” Jasper said.
Hoping to keep her mind off of her feelings for Jasper and on science, Zee volunteered to work on instructions. “Right!” Zee agreed. “I can write those down for him, so we can just give him a list.”
After Zee had written a few lines, Jasper pointed to her notebook. “Didn’t you mean to write ‘It is necessary’ here rather than ‘It is not necessary’?”
Zee looked at the item where Jasper pointed. It is not necessary for every student in each group to take the test at the same time. “Uh, yeah,” she said. “I guess that wouldn’t work—unless it was Opposite Day.” She laughed nervously and crossed out the word not.
Jasper tapped his chin with his pencil. “Should the music begin before students come into the classroom or right before they begin the test?”
“Before they come in. That way, Mr. Zona can talk to them about it before the test starts if they have any questions.” Zee was pleased that she had a good reason for her choice.
“Brilliant!” Jasper said.
Zee wrote, Begin to play the music after students enter the classroom.
“Oh, look,” Jasper said, pointing to the word after. “I think it’s another Opposite Day instruction.”
“Sorry,” Zee apologized, replacing after with before. “I guess I need a break from science.” It was clear that Zee was not going to do a very good job as long as Jasper was sitting right beside her. She began gathering up her papers and notebooks. “I’ll work on this some more at home and put it in a Bluetopia doc for you to check out before we send it to Mr. Zona.”
“Are you sure you need to leave straightaway?” Jasper looked as confused as Zee felt.
“Yeah—I’m . . . um . . . not really thinking . . . clearly. I’ll work on the list for Mr. Zona and share it with you later today. I promise.” Zee headed toward Jasper’s front door.
“And I will outline the different ways that the data can be analyzed and presented,” he called behind her.
Zee knew Jasper’s work would be perfect. She just hoped her contribution would be worthwhile, too.
* * *
Oh, Diary.
All this talk about music and science just reminds me about how much I miss The Beans. I mean, I get to see each Bean practically every day. I even see them practicing together a lot.
But I miss playing with them. Even if (when?) I get the lead in the show, will it be as much fun as it is with The Beans?
And what if I don’t? Have I messed everything up with everyone who’s important to me? I know that they say it’s all OK. But I’m just not sure.
Mom
I told her I would plan her Baby Blast and have done practically nothing.
Dad
Have I created a monster?
Chloe
I feel like I don’t know how to talk to her anymore.
Missy
She’s doing so much for my mom, and I’d like to be better friends with her—but I’m so busy, I don’t know if that can really happen.
Landon
Now that I don’t have a big crush on him anymore, I worry that he seems kind of lonely. (At least he has Chloe as his science fair partner.)
Jasper
I need to figure this out—fast!
Help!
Zee
* * *
14
Science Test
As soon as Zee got back to her house, she spread her books and notes out on the kitchen table, opened up her laptop, and got to work.
Ding dong!
The doorbell rang before Zee even had a chance to write down the first instruction! As she raced to the front door, she saw her mother slowly waddling down the staircase, gripping the banister tightly.
“I’ll get it, Mom!” Zee called. She opened the door to see Chloe and Missy standing on the porch.
“Hi!” Zee said, and then stepped to the side so they could come in the house. “Did you forget something from the sleepover?”
Chloe shook her head. “No, we’re here to work on the Baby Blast.”
By now Mrs. Carmichael had made it down the stairs. “Hi, girls,” she greeted Zee’s friends.
“Hi, Mrs. Carmichael,” Chloe and Missy said together.
“We’re going to put the final touches on the
menu and decorations today,” Mrs. Carmichael explained to Zee. “Do you have time to help us out?”
“You’re working on the Baby Blast?” Zee said, surprised and a little upset she hadn’t known about their plans. Of course, Zee wanted to help, too. She peered into the kitchen at the work spread out across the table. Could she put off working on the science project for just a couple of hours longer?
About to tell her mother yes, Zee turned back to the group—and looked directly at Chloe. It’s awesome that she clearly likes him. Chloe’s words from the sleepover repeated in Zee’s head. Zee had given Jasper a clear message: she was going to make up for all the work she hadn’t been doing on their project. She had to prove to him—and herself—that she would stick to it.
“No,” Zee told Mrs. Carmichael. “I have a lot of work to do on my science fair project with Jasper.” Then she turned to Chloe and Missy. “Thanks for being substitute daughters for my mom.”
Missy smiled. “We could never be your substitute!”
“It takes two of us to fill in for you,” Chloe joked, throwing her arm over Zee’s shoulders.
Mrs. Carmichael and Zee’s friends worked in the TV room, and Zee could hear practically everything they were saying as she worked in the kitchen. They laughed as they decided what games to play and picked out baby pictures of Zee and Adam to display at the party.
It was difficult for Zee to concentrate on science when her friends were having so much fun with her mother.
That evening, Zee typed the last answer to the last question of homework, printed out the assignment, and put everything away in her messenger bag for the morning. Then she flopped down between her parents on the comfy couch in the TV room and closed her eyes.
“Tired?” Mrs. Carmichael asked.
Zee looked at her mother. “I’m way past tired. What’s more tired than tired?”
“Exhausted?” Zee’s father asked.
“Keep going,” Zee said, shutting her eyes again.
“You should probably get to bed, then,” Mr. Carmichael suggested. “I arranged for an acting coach to come to the house at seven tomorrow morning to work with you.”
“You mean ‘tomorrow night,’” Zee corrected him sleepily.
“He couldn’t come in the evening, and I didn’t want it to interfere with school.”
What? Zee tried to reason with her father. “But I won’t do well if I’m too tired.”
“If you fall asleep now, you’ll get a full night’s sleep.”
In a few moments, Zee had gone from tired to awake to worked up. She couldn’t believe this! “Don’t you think you’re going just a little crazy? Right, Mom?”
Mrs. Carmichael put her hands up in the air as if to surrender. “Remember? I’m letting you and your dad handle this.” She patted her belly. “I’m managing a different situation right now. But I will say—” She paused as if she were choosing her words very carefully. “All I want for all of my children is for them to be happy. And your dad wants the same thing. If you don’t want to do this anymore, just say the word.”
“Your mother is right,” Zee’s father agreed. “I want whatever you want.” He pulled out his iPhone. “I can cancel tomorrow’s appointment.”
Zee grabbed Mr. Carmichael’s arm. “Wait!” she said. Then, more calmly, she asked, “Can’t you just postpone it until later this week?”
“This was really his only time this week, Zee.” Her father looked at her.
Zee weighed the risk. “So I might not get to work with him before the next audition?”
“Yes, but I’m sure you’ll be fine.” Zee’s father began typing a text.
Zee’s mind flashed to all of the girls waiting in the lobby before her audition. Until that point, she had been pretty sure she would be fine, with or without extra coaching. But all of those Zee look-alikes had a lot more acting experience than she did. Zee knew she wanted to do whatever was necessary to get the role. If that meant waking up early for an acting lesson, that’s what she would do.
“I better get to bed!” Zee announced, standing up. “I need to get up early!”
* * *
Hi, Diary.
Any idea when the glamorous, FUN part of my Hollywood life is going to begin? OK, I know there has been some fun stuff, but so far, no designers have asked me to wear their clothes, no paparazzi have tried to take my photo, and no one has asked me to ride in a limo (which I wouldn’t do because limos waste a lot of gas, but still, it would be nice if someone would ask).
I know that’s not really how things work and there’s really no such thing as “overnight success.” I just wish that the show was a sure thing, so I knew I wasn’t spending all of this time chasing something that might not even happen. What if all of the hard work doesn’t lead to anything . . . at least, not right now?
I’m usually not a competitive person. Does being famous—or at least, getting famous—mean I have to be? I don’t want to be, but do I have a choice? Someone has to lose. I just don’t want it to be me.
Zee
* * *
Little fingers. Little toes.
Fluffs of soft hair. Button nose.
When you sleep and when you wake,
I’ll watch over each breath you take.
* * *
15
Special Delivery
“What’s up, Brookdale?” Ally’s face lit up the computer screen.
“Please don’t make me smile,” Zee said. “It hurts to smile.”
“Why?” Ally asked.
“I spent about a hundred hours with a diction coach this week.”
“What’s a diction coach?”
Zee wished she could remember a time when she didn’t know what a diction coach was. “A diction coach is someone who tells you that you talk wrong and makes you repeat things over and over until your mouth hurts.”
“You talk wrong?”
Zee shrugged. “It was a shock to me, too.”
“Sounds awful. I talk just like you. I must talk wrong, too.”
Zee tried to look stern. “Repeat after me: The jolly collie swallowed a lollipop.”
“No, thanks,” Ally said.
Zee laughed out loud. “Oh my gosh, Ally. You always know how to make me feel better.”
“That’s what I’m here for,” Ally told Zee. Then she asked, “Is everything ready for the Baby Blast tomorrow?”
“Yes! And I can’t wait! It really is going to be the best baby shower ever.”
“Take tons of pictures!”
“I will. Over and out.” Zee waved good-bye.
“Over and out.” Ally said.
Both girls signed off.
Zee had woken up early on the day of the Baby Blast so she could enter the latest results from Mr. Zona’s exams into the Bluetopia docs she shared with Jasper. Both Zee and Jasper had worked really hard all week. Zee wanted to make sure she got as much as possible done early, since she’d be spending most of the day at the Baby Blast.
Zee got a glass of orange juice from the kitchen, sat down at her desk, turned her laptop on, and began typing. Still not quite awake, she reached for a piece of paper, and before she knew it, her hand hit the glass of orange juice, and the drink spilled all over her desk.
“Ohmylanta!” Grabbing the towel that was lying on the end of her bed, Zee tried to soak up all of the juice. She was happy to see that her laptop was hit with only a small amount. She quickly wiped off the keyboard, hit “Save,” and closed her computer.
I’ll work on that later—when I’m more awake, Zee told herself.
Later that morning, the doorbell rang practically nonstop. The caterers and servers came early. Then Zee’s girl friends arrived to help set up. Even Kathi and Jen helped hang the homemade decorations and organize the materials for the games.
Mrs. Carmichael sat on the couch and watched the activity around her. “I’m sorry I’m not very useful,” she apologized. “I suddenly feel so tired today.”
Zee and Chloe slid a
n ottoman under Mrs. Carmichael’s feet. “Don’t worry about it, Mom,” Zee said. “We’re good.”
“Besides, you aren’t supposed to be helping out, Mrs. Carmichael,” Chloe added. “This is your day.”
Mr. Carmichael leaned down and kissed his wife good-bye. He and Adam were off to play tennis during the party.
“Have fun, girls!” Zee’s dad called. Adam grabbed a piece of shrimp off the table as he followed his father out the door.
As soon as the door shut behind Zee’s father and brother, the guests began to arrive. Chloe’s and Missy’s mothers arrived first, followed by Mrs. Chapman, then a few of Mrs. Carmichael’s friends who lived on the block.
The next pair of women was unfamiliar to Zee, although they recognized her immediately.
“I’d know those freckles and red hair anywhere!” one woman announced. “You’ve had those since the day you were born.”
Although Zee liked to stand out in a crowd, she liked it to be because of her musical talent or her fashion sense. You forgot to mention my flat chest, Zee wanted to say. I’ve had that since the day I was born, too.
“I’m Joanne O’Neill and this is Monica Flores,” the first woman through the door said.
“From New York City!” Zee cried, realizing who these guests were.
“We’ve known your mother since we were your age,” Ms. Flores put in.
Zee looked across the room at Chloe and Missy and smiled, certain that they would be at Zee’s baby shower one day, too.
After all of the guests arrived, Zee joined the other girls in serving refreshments. Kathi and Jen wove through the groups with fruity drinks. Worried she would end up tripping and spilling the glasses all over the guests, Zee volunteered to carry the trays of finger sandwiches.
“Are you having fun, Mom?” Zee asked as she offered Mrs. Carmichael a sandwich.
“I’m having a wonderful time. This is the perfect shower!”