The Lanier of past weeks had been bubbly and full of life, acting as if she were ready to shower the world with glee. This evening’s Lanier had turned moody, dark and distant. The icy chill he’d felt in the vehicle had come directly from her. Instead of stealing covert glances at her every couple of minutes, he’d made it a point to keep his eyes on the road. Otherwise, he knew he would confront her about it, which would only serve to make matters worse.
“Want to take a walk? Mom says it’ll be an hour or so before dinner is on the table. We have plenty of time to stroll down to the nearest lake.”
“Sounds like a good idea. The aromas coming out of the kitchen are making me hungrier by the second.” Forcing a smile to her lips, Lanier took Dallas’s hand, and her present mood didn’t keep her from thoroughly enjoying the magic in his touch.
The couple stepped off the porch. Unable to stop smiling, Dallas tossed his arm around Lanier’s slim waist. “You feel good. I love looking at, touching and tasting you.” Dallas chuckled. “If we were alone, I’d invite you to skinny-dip with me. You’re beautiful in and out of clothes.”
As Dallas thought about Lanier and him naked in the lake, his heart thundered and his cheeks glowed with warmth. His hard sex had him wanting to slip away with Lanier and glide his way inside her. Dallas knew he’d go to any lengths to try to cheer her up. “If we were swimming in the lake, out of the way of prying eyes, would you give yourself to me?”
“Of course,” she said huskily. “But I don’t know how much swimming would take place.”
Conjuring up a vivid picture of him and her making love in the water, Lanier wished they were alone at his place, where they could use the pool and the Jacuzzi. But they weren’t, she quietly told herself. Chuckling inwardly, Lanier thought of how quickly her bad-girl persona had responded to his challenge. It had also cheered her up.
Coming upon a grassy knoll, Dallas dropped down onto the thick patch of green, pulling Lanier down to nestle on his lap. She felt the hardness of his manhood through his shorts. Turning him on was a pleasant feeling, though it wasn’t something they could do much about at the moment.
Desperate to shake her dark mood, Lanier covered Dallas’s mouth with hers, kissing him passionately. Teasing him with her tongue made her hot with physical yearning. “I want you.”
Dallas sighed. Lanier’s mood was changing for the better, and he fervently returned her kisses.
His fingers stroked her face. “Think you can hold your desire in check until later?”
Laughing, Lanier shook her head. “I can barely wait another minute.” Even though there was nowhere on the property for them to go and make love, she was happy he physically desired her. Thoughts of Dallas making love to her helped ward off her dark moods.
Lanier was dressed in all white in a tunic top and jeans that hugged her bombshell frame. On her feet she wore white sandals.
Dallas threaded his hand through her long hair. “I like what you’re wearing. Those jeans are getting a real workout on your body.”
Lanier didn’t tell him she’d put on an outfit her mother had chosen for her and then had taken it off. If she started talking about her mother, there was no doubt in her mind that a foul mood would return.
Not sure if his eyes had focused properly, he took a closer look at her tresses. “When’d you get your hair colored?”
Lanier was elated he’d noticed the change. “Couple hours after you left this morning, I went into the salon. Like the highlights?”
“Yeah, they complement your mahogany complexion. I love it. Why did you only do streaks?”
“Highlights,” she scolded softly. “I didn’t want to completely change the color of my hair. I thought about getting it a bit lighter than this, but I chickened out. This is the color I was left with.”
“It’s beautiful. I can imagine how you might’ve felt if I hadn’t noticed at all. It really glows when the sun hits it.” Dallas ran his hand through his hair and shook his head. “Maybe I should color mine,” he said, laughing.
Lanier laughed, too. His laughter was as contagious as his charming smile. “I’m thrilled you noticed. You’re good at paying attention to me.”
Lanier had already checked out Dallas from head to toe. He looked so handsome dressed in black denim jeans and a black Western-style shirt. He loved Texas as much as anyone but didn’t routinely wear Western gear. He had gorgeous Stetsons in several colors but only wore them for special events. Most Texans wouldn’t be caught dead without hats. During the city of Houston’s yearly rodeo and livestock show, Dallas usually dressed the part of a proud Texan. He’d taken Lanier to a rodeo and its concerts two years running.
“We probably should go back inside. We don’t want them to eat without us.”
“We haven’t been gone long, Lanier. Are you hungry?”
“Now I am. I’m not sure I would’ve eaten much if I was still in a bad mood. I know you noticed. I’m sorry I put you through it.”
Dallas got to his feet then helped Lanier up. Bringing her into his arms, he kissed her passionately. “I don’t like your dark moods, and I don’t always understand, but I’m here to help you find your way out of them.”
Lanier wrapped her leg up around Dallas’s thigh. “Thank you for being here. Seeing my mother earlier upset me. The visit just didn’t go well.”
Dallas raised both eyebrows. “Your mother came to the house? Did you know she was coming?”
“She came…and no, I didn’t know about it. I was stunned.”
Dallas didn’t know what to say but felt he had to say something. “Listen, you can’t allow people to control you. If you didn’t want to see your mom, you should’ve told her. Take some responsibility for yourself, Lanier. Instead of saying it was bad timing, you punished yourself. She was insensitive by showing up without calling. When will you get it?”
Lanier heard the anger and frustration in his voice and it stung. He was right, though. “I thought I had it. I know I have to do better.”
“Yes, you do, much better! People walk over you ’cause you allow it. Every time someone upsets you it affects our relationship. I’m tired of seeing you in a bad mood that someone else is responsible for. You have to control your moods—not others.”
Lanier couldn’t argue with the truth. She was sorry that she’d caused yet another tiff in their relationship, and she hoped it wouldn’t ruin the rest of the evening.
“Come here, you.” He brought her head to his chest. “I shouldn’t have come down on you so hard. Sorry for the anger. Until you understand that you’re leaving your happiness up to perfect strangers, biological or not, you’ll remain unhappy. Live the life you want, and stop dwelling in the misery that life’s circumstances has forced upon you.”
Lanier lifted her head and frowned. “It sounds so simple when you say it. Why can’t I move on? Why can’t I forget?” She shrugged.
“Only you can answer those questions, Lanier. You owe yourself that much.”
Wiping away an errant tear, Lanier nodded. “I’m the only person I owe something to, but that’s not how I live. I feel like I owe the entire world because my parents abandoned me and other people had to take care of me, even those who did a lousy job of it.”
“Is that why you got into the foster care business?”
“I’m sure it had something to do with it in the beginning. I wanted to give back and do much better by the kids living at Haven House. The girls have brought so much joy. I can hardly wait to help out other kids in need.”
“You’re good at what you do, and you don’t do it because you feel you owe somebody. It’s what you dreamed of doing as a foster child. If you never take in another needy child, you’ll still be the same person I’ve come to know and love. Give yourself a break.”
“So, are you saying highl
ights don’t help the changes I’m trying to make?”
Dallas laughed. The look on Lanier’s face was so pitifully cute and innocent. All he wanted was to brighten her mood and hear her laugh. Picking her up, he swung her around. “Lighten up, will you? You are still the same beautiful you.”
Lanier had thought the highlights might make her appear bolder and more daring. Instead of trying to explain it, she laughed at herself.
Dallas felt rewarded by her laughter. “Let’s go eat. I’m ready to stuff my face.”
“I could do some serious damage myself. Did you see those homemade tamales Kelly had her Mama Tillie make?”
“Mom ran me out the kitchen right after I peeked into a pot of refried beans. I’ve got to be supercareful. I can’t afford to gain an ounce of weight before our season ends.”
Lanier scanned his body, loving all of what she saw. “You’re perfect, Dallas, just the way you are. I’ll put you in check if you run into trouble.”
“Thanks. I might need your help,” he joked.
As soon as the family was seated, large platters of meat and huge bowls of vegetables were passed around. They had a Tex-Mex feast of grilled beef brisket, tri-tip steak, chicken and beef fajitas, cheese enchiladas, red beans, refried beans and homemade tortillas. Several types of salads were served, and the favorite was a spicy taco salad.
Lanier thought about all the times she’d been at a Carrington table. She loved how they came together to make family dinners happen. Houston was this evening’s host, but all family members and guests had contributed to the feast in one way or another.
With Dallas seated right next to her, Lanier had the urge to reach under the table and squeeze his thigh. Another man would’ve left her a long time ago, but he did his best to understand her past trials and deal with the things she still put herself through. Dallas was the right man for her.
Am I the right woman for him?
It was a question she asked herself often but could never answer honestly. Dallas deserved no less than the very best woman as a lifelong mate. Ashleigh and Austin were an ideal couple, and Houston and Kelly followed in their footsteps. The parents’ marriage was a model one. The Carringtons were a loving family, but she wasn’t sure if her troubled background had a place among them.
Dallas dipped up a spoonful of red beans and held it to Lanier’s mouth. “Try these. You’ll be missing out on something delicious if you don’t.” Dallas knew Lanier wasn’t a big fan of beans because she’d been fed them on a regular basis in foster homes. She’d sworn off beans once she was out on her own.
To keep from drawing any attention, Lanier accepted the food. She tried to swallow the beans without tasting them, but she couldn’t get it all down at once. Then she nodded, raising her eyebrows. “Maybe I need to rethink my aversion. These are delicious.”
Austin stood and asked for everyone’s attention. “I won’t keep you from your plates too long.” He reached for Ashleigh’s hand. “We’ve got good news to share. My golden girl and I are pregnant again. In about seven months, we’ll have a brand-new Carrington. We’re making sure this one isn’t born on a cruise ship. It was kind of exciting, but we’re sticking close to home.”
Congratulations came loudly from all around the table.
Ashleigh already had the special glow most pregnant women sported. She got to her feet and planted a passionate kiss onto her husband’s mouth. “Kelly, we won’t mind if you’re around to help deliver the newcomer. In fact, we’d be honored. We’re leaning toward having the baby at the ranch with a midwife. We’ll keep everyone informed.” Smiling broadly, Ashleigh reclaimed her chair.
“That’s it, family. Continue eating, drinking and be merry,” Austin enthused.
Dallas clapped and the others followed suit.
Lanier was so happy for Ashleigh, but she was disappointed that she hadn’t moved on like her best friend had.
Would I ever announce a pregnancy? More important, would I ever be Dallas’s wife?
Lanier loved him so much, but she had to be further along in changing her outlook on life to be the best person for him. Dallas deserved a happy wife, not a burdensome one. At that very moment she thought of her mother and father. Lanier couldn’t imagine Barbara holding a baby, and she wasn’t sure she’d ever trust Joseph to cradle any child belonging to her. She closed her eyes and tried to stop the negative chatter inside her head.
Kelly walked up to Dallas and briefly took his hand. “You were brilliant in the last game. Houston nearly lost his mind when you hit that last home run. Keep up the good work. I’m proud of you, D.”
Grinning, Dallas bent his head and kissed Kelly’s cheek. “Thanks. It looks like we have a shot at the big showdown.”
“It’s more than a shot, D. People have already put money on the Hurricanes.”
Dallas nodded. “Thanks for the encouragement. Will you make it to more games?”
“Whenever it’s possible. Thanks for including me.”
Dallas smiled. “You’re my future sister-in-law. By the way, have you two set a wedding date?” Dallas hated sneaking in that question, but if he could end Houston’s misery, it’d be well worth it.
Kelly shuffled her feet. “Not yet. I’m trying to give Houston plenty of time to get used to the idea of being married. I’d marry him today if I was sure he was ready. When we walk down the aisle, I want it to be forever for us.”
Dallas smiled again. “You really are someone special. Having you looking out for him means a great deal to Houston, but he can hardly wait to take the walk of his lifetime. Houston is ready to marry you. You can take that to the bank.”
Kelly looked pleasantly surprised. “You said that with such strong conviction. Has he told you something he hasn’t shared with me?”
“I just know what I know. Houston is ready. Trust me.”
Houston would kill Dallas if he thought he had been pressuring Kelly. If his brother took issue with his technique, he could explain himself.
“Everyone, please get together for a minute,” Angelica requested. “Dad and I brought a video of the boys when they were younger. Who wants to see it?”
“I do,” Kelly shouted.
“Me, too,” Ashleigh chimed in, even though she’d already seen it umpteen times.
“Guys, is it okay?” Angelica asked her sons.
“It’s fine, Mom. Set up the video in the family room whenever you’re ready. We can eat dessert while watching,” Houston responded.
Angelica loved showing tapes of her boys in action, and no one would’ve turned down her request. Angelica had been the top team mom in every sport they’d played, and Beaumont had usually volunteered to assist coaches or had taken on a job as one.
“Come into the family room when you’re ready,” Beaumont said. “We’ll be waiting.”
Chapter 7
While driving Lanier home, Dallas kept his eyes on the road. She was still in a good mood, but he wasn’t. Seeing so much love pouring from the television screen in Houston’s home had brought back so many incredible memories. That Lanier had been denied the same kind of love bothered him. She had been treated like garbage by people she had trusted. What had happened to her might ruin her chances of ever finding real happiness. That was more painful than anything he could think of. If she couldn’t find happiness with herself, she’d never find it with him.
Lanier reached over and put her hand on Dallas’s thigh. “Are you tired of me?”
“No,” he readily responded. “What makes you think that?”
“I just wanted to know. Since you’re not, is it okay if I go to your place for a while? I’m not sleepy yet.”
A huge grin swept across Dallas’s lips. “I’d love to take you home with me. I’m surprised you asked. Don’t you want to be alone?”
“I don’t want to be without you. I was sulky a good bit of the evening, and I want to make it up to you.”
“Lanier, you don’t have to do any such thing. I know what you’re going through. After you told me your mother had dropped in on you, I understood your mood.”
“Okay, I won’t try to make up for anything. But I still want to go home with you.”
“I want that as much as you do. We’re on our way.” He made a quick U-turn to head back in the direction of his home.
Cranberry-scented votive candles burned brightly in crystal holders on the coffee table in the spacious family room. The recessed lighting was dimmed to its lowest capacity, and the electric fireplace was glowing. The white window shutters in the family room were thrown open, providing a panoramic view of the largest lake on the property. Autumn was Dallas’s favorite season, and he loved cooler temperatures.
Dressed only in one of Dallas’s white silk shirts and a pair of his athletic socks, Lanier was comfortable and fully relaxed seated on the sofa beside Dallas. She smoothed his waves with the palm of her hand and looked into his warm eyes. Lately, she often found herself wondering what he was thinking.
Over the past month, Dallas appeared to be deep in thought more frequently. It could be baseball playoffs or it could be something more personal and private. There was so much unsaid between them. She blamed herself for the unspoken words that desperately needed to be voiced. While she knew what she’d like to say to him, she fell short on courage.
Lazing his forefinger down the side of her face, his eyes connected with hers. He wanted to tell her more often how much he loved her, but he didn’t want to scare her, so he tried to control his feelings.
“Are you warm enough, sweetheart? If not, I can turn down the air conditioner.”
A lazy smile formed on her lips. “Hot is more like it. I always feel overheated when I’m with you. I know you get sick of hearing that.” She placed her finger on his thigh and made a sizzling hiss to show him the effect touching him had on her. “Does that answer your question?”
Tempted by a Carrington Page 9