Moth and Spark

by Anne Leonard

  He built up the fire in the bedroom, then turned to her. She unlaced his vest and helped him slip his shirt over his head. She touched his chest and shoulders and back and wrists, first with her fingers and next with her mouth, delicate butterfly kisses that seared his skin. She brought his hand up to the soft firmness of her breast.

  Somehow he moved away enough to reach the hooks on her gown and undo them, one by one, all the way to her hips. He slid the dress off her; it fell to the floor in a soft rustle of silk that could have been the flames. He drew down her undergarments and felt her tremble when he ran his hands down the insides of her smooth thighs. She fumbled at his belt. Soon he too was naked, both of them glowing red-gold from the hot light. Shadows flickered across her perfect body. He took her breasts in his hands, and she pushed her hips against him, and he could have entered her then if he wanted to.

  Instead he brought her down on the bed and kissed and touched her everywhere. Her response was sweet and far less timid than he would have expected from a virgin. And virgin she was, even had he not known he would have been able to tell from her little movements of surprise, her momentary uncertainties about how to shift her legs or arms, a tentativeness in how she touched him. She did not know yet what she liked any more than he did. He nibbled one of her nipples, kissed her hip, ran his fingers along the silky folds between her legs. He found the spot that made her shiver with pleasure, then saw the fear of it on her face, and came up to kiss her and comfort her, and slowly her hand came down to his thigh, and he pushed into her before either of them expected it, hard, drawing a short cry from her. Then her hips came up and thrust against him. Her eyes screwed up and her mouth opened in sudden ecstasy. She groaned, and he could contain himself no longer, and everything was white exploding light and then he was falling, falling.

  When he came up she was lying on her side, propped on one arm, looking at him. Her hair was sweat-dampened and her skin glistened in the firelight.

  “Are you back?” she asked.

  “Did I hurt you?” he answered.

  “Yes, but it was worth it. There wasn’t much blood.”

  “I’m sorry,” he said. “I tried not to. It will be better next time.” He sat up and pulled her into a light embrace. “My lovely love, you honored me.”

  “Was it—did you—?” She stopped.

  “You are splendid,” he said simply. He kissed her shoulder, put his hands softly on her breasts, cupped them until her nipples hardened. He slid his palms down her sides to her hips, her buttocks, her thighs. “I want every inch of you.”

  She kissed him and stayed in his arms a bit longer. Then she got up and began to pat herself dry with the edge of the sheet. There was determination in her movements.

  “What are you doing?” he asked.

  “I can’t spend the night, Corin,” she said, reaching for her undergarments. “If I leave now I can be in my bed at a time that is halfway decent. It’s not that late.”

  “Stay,” he said, but weakly.

  She didn’t deign to answer that. He got up and helped her dress, brought her a damp cloth to wash her face. She dabbed at the roots of her hair as well and put her braid back up. He put on his own clothes. She took his hand. “When will I see you next?”

  “Tomorrow morning, early? In the Sun Room? I won’t have time for anything else.”

  They made the arrangements, and he assigned one of the guards to take her back through the private passages. He kissed her on the forehead in full view of them. “I love you,” he said, and let her go.

  CHAPTER TEN

  Tam arrived first, on time, and told one of the servants the prince was coming. That gained her a secluded table by a window and food almost immediately upon it. The table was set with the dragon plates. She realized now that whatever else they were, they were a shout of defiance to the Empire. Once she began to notice dragons, it seemed that they were everywhere. The bread was so fresh it was hot to the touch. The sun was bright, gold on the grass outside and the stone tiles within. It was a much more pleasant place than it had been when she was with Cina. She sipped her tea quietly, looking at the sunny courtyard.

  She had always been rather scornful of people who let their lives fall to pieces because of a lover, but now she understood it better. It was hard to keep herself calm and within the limits of decorum even the next morning. He loved her. Last night she had made it into her room when it was still early enough for other women to be up; she had even played a short game of cards. No one knew except the guards that she had been in Corin’s bed that night. It was a tremendous, wonderful, splendid secret.

  It, or some of it, was not a secret she could keep much longer—the ball that evening would ensure that—but she had to be calm and assured, not silly-giddy about it. She certainly had to behave properly as long as possible. She had not yet decided what to do about her sister-in-law, who would write to her brother immediately, and her brother would write her parents, and her father would come after her at once. He would not doubt her honor, he would simply think she was acting far beyond her place. It was ironic that Corin’s father was apparently far less concerned than her father would be. Of course if Corin abandoned her she might be ruined, whereas if she abandoned Corin it would leave no stain on him.

  The night before last, when Corin stood defiantly on the steps, she had known something was wrong before he swore at her. She said to one of the guards, He’s not drunk. I can’t persuade him to come. She had no confidence that the man would do anything, especially not when she looked like a farmwife, but he had said, I’ll get him, my lady, startling her. Then Corin struck the man and knocked him down with a crack on the head that could be heard from where she stood, and the guards looked at one another, and someone said, Fetch his captain, and she realized it was herself. Her heart was full of dread. The man who came was the same one who had escorted her to Corin’s side earlier that evening, and from the Terrace Room the night before, and she was chilled to realize it had been no mere soldier he had asked to do it. The captain, Bron his name was, went down to speak to the prince but got no more response than anyone else had. He came back and drew her aside. If he won’t speak to me and he won’t speak to you, my lady, then we have two choices besides force: leave him there or wake the king. He was looking at her, waiting for her answer. The doctor was in a corner, tending the injured man. Corin stared outward like a statue. He couldn’t be left there, he couldn’t. Then get the king, she said, looking anxiously for a cloak to cover her muddy skirt while her stomach went painfully tight.

  Some time later, Bron came back with Aram in his wake and a black dog following. Tam hoped desperately Bron had already explained things to him. The king went straight down the steps to look at his son. He got nothing from Corin either. The dog stayed at the top, its ears laid back, its tail swishing. Occasionally it whined. Its hackles were up partway. Aram watched Corin for a while.

  Finally he came up and walked directly to her. The dog was at his side but no longer fierce. The king was dressed plainly and did not seem to have been rudely roused from sleep. That other Tam she didn’t know curtsied and said, Your Majesty. He looked at her. It was Corin’s face and not Corin’s face, older, darker, a different shape to the eyes and chin, but that same intensity of expression. He said, rather more gently than she thought he would, What did he do to himself at the fair? She answered, without thinking, He saw a dragon in a mirror, my lord. With that unchanging gaze Aram said, Did you? She could only manage a Yes. Not accusingly, he said, Why have you stayed? and she said, What should I do, crawl into a corner and cry? I won’t abandon him. Then she remembered she was speaking to the king, but it was too late to take back the words. Before she could apologize, back away, he smiled a little and said, It’s hardly abandonment to leave him to his men. She said, If they push or pull him too hard, something will break, my lord. He put his hands on her shoulders. What do you suggest we do about him? he asked. The
dog nuzzled at her hand with its warm wet nose. Its approval mattered. She remembered her father standing over men writhing in pain, women in agony with labor, and said, Vitriol ether and a few drops of camphor. It could hardly be the answer the king anticipated. Aram looked at her for another long moment and said, He’s going to need you. Then he went to speak with the doctor.

  The doctor glanced up at her. She remembered him speaking to her after Cade died. What might he be thinking now, to see her with the prince?

  She watched nervously as one of the guards went down to drug Corin. No one interfered when she followed them into the guardroom. They slung him on the low bed. There was no chair, so she knelt beside him, arms on the bed. Tiredness began crawling over her. She did not know how long she had been doing this, watching, waiting for the drugged sleep to turn into ordinary rest, when she was tapped on the shoulder. She looked up and saw Aram offering her a cup of tea. By then she was too weary to react. Don’t let yourself get stiff, he said. He gestured toward the bench. Come sit here. I don’t expect you’ll go to bed if even I tell you to, will you?

  She said, Someone has to watch, my lord. Until the drug runs out. She was too tired to realize he had probably already heard it from the doctor. Why? he asked, and she said, In case it was too much. It might stop his heart. She remembered her father saying those very words to her in his surgery. Aram said, There is nothing anyone can do about a stopped heart, and she said, If you watch you can make sure it doesn’t stop. There are signs. Blue lips, slow pulse, cold hands. It made her think to check Corin’s pulse, which she did. Steady and strong. It was hard to put his hand down again.

  Something was in the cup besides tea. Not enough to go to her head, but enough to make her muscles loosen and some of her anxiousness retreat. Aram sat beside her and asked her a few questions, then slipped into silence. Finally Corin inhaled deeply, stirred, turned from his back to his side, and she knew he was in normal sleep. She put the empty teacup down. Her arms and hands were shaking. Aram stood up. She rose quickly, but not before he could take her hands and help her. He’s fine. You’ve done very well. Now go to bed. Do you want to be told when he wakes up? She nodded. He put his hand under her elbow and escorted her out. A guard drew the thick curtain closed behind them. Quite unexpectedly the king asked, How did you meet him? and her imp got hold of her. It reflects rather badly on him, my lord, I think you had better get him to tell you. I want him to still like me. Then she began the all-too-familiar clap of hand over mouth, but he laughed and sent her off with a light push on the back. A soldier walked with her all the way to her room.

  It was obvious now that Aram had known why she stayed but wanted to see what she said. He had no doubt judged her quickly and accurately. That was his business. Afterward he would have found out everything about her. And he had approved, even liked her.

  Although perhaps the only thing that mattered to him was that she had seen the dragon too. She felt suddenly like a child, standing on tiptoes to peer over a wall and watch things she did not understand. Aram must know a thousand things that she did not. She buttered a slice of bread and nearly tore it with nervousness before she could calm herself again.

  When Corin finally came in she could tell at once; the conversations at the other tables went quiet for a breath. She was glad she did not know anyone.

  She rose politely, doing her best to pretend no one was watching. Equally politely, he kissed her hand. “My lady,” he said, a touch of playfulness in his eyes.

  “My lord,” she said, bobbing her head, and they looked conspiratorially at each other as they sat. It was probably obvious to everyone that it was a sham.

  For a few moments they ate without speaking, just looking at each other. The cheese was salty and hard, the red grapes were sweet and firm. Tam broke the silence by saying, “What have you got to do today?”

  “More of the same as yesterday,” he answered. He impaled a slice of pear with his fork. “Coaxing and convincing. Unfortunately I have to do it to people besides you.” He was dressed more formally than she had usually seen him, with a closed-collared shirt and a jacket over it. It suited him but made her less confident of her place. Which was not what she wanted at the moment.

  “There will be plenty of pretty women at the ball who would like it,” she said.

  “Damn the ball!” he said, and she laughed, then looked around to see if it had been heard.

  “Should I plan to just stay in my room and lacquer my fingernails instead?” she asked.

  “Of course not. I promised to bring you and I will. Besides, my mother would kill me if I didn’t open it for her. I told her to find me a suitable partner, I don’t want to be bothered with looking. I’m sorry it can’t be you.”

  “I’m not,” Tam said fervently. She was glad she didn’t have to persuade him of that. “All those people staring, waiting for one missed step and wondering if there’s any significance to your choice.”

  “That’s going to happen anyway.”

  “Not the same as it would for the first dance.”

  “Why ever do they care so much?”

  “Don’t be an innocent,” she said, keeping her voice low. It would hardly do to chide him in public. “You know perfectly well that women want power as much as men, and that is what a ball is about. It’s going to be guessed at all day.”

  He put his hand over hers. When she looked into his eyes, she saw they were more green than blue today. “Don’t ever stop telling me what you think,” he said. At first she thought he was teasing her, then realized he was serious. “Not enough people do,” he said. “They tell me what they think I think, which is downright useless. And half the time insulting.”

  It was hard, looking at him, not to think of the ways he had touched her the night before, the way his body had felt against hers. It would be so easy to let everything else go. She refilled her teacup. It was black tea tinged with jasmine, something that was supposed to be a favored drink of Mycene. She had added the herbs she needed, not without a sharp pang of regret.

  “I’m afraid I have nothing to do myself,” she said.

  “Perhaps you should come and watch the court.”

  “I can’t imagine anything more dull.”

  “Come now, Tam, don’t you want to see me in all my glory?”

  She made a face at him. “I can wait until the ball for that.”

  “Oh, we’re back to the ball, are we. What about you? Have you a gaudy enough gown?”

  “Every fashionable woman travels with at least three ball gowns, even if she is going to spend the night in a smithy,” she said. Then, running over in her mind the gown she intended to wear, she saw a problem. “I’ll need help dressing.”

  “I can take care of that,” he said, grinning.

  “Behave yourself, my lord. But truly, can you find a maid? Otherwise I will have to ask Cina, and whoever she sends will ask all sorts of questions I don’t want to answer. It’ll be no use telling her it’s not her affair; it’s a bad idea to have someone do your hair if she’s angry with you.”

  He touched his chin. “Like being shaved by a barber with a grudge. Yes, I can see that. Dear heart, you can have an entire bevy of household servants if you want.”

  “One maid will do.”

  “Then you shall have it.” He hesitated. “You realize this means I will be talking to my mother, don’t you? You can’t put off meeting her much longer.”

  Her appetite vanished. It was worse than meeting the king. But there didn’t seem much of an alternative. “Why would she want that? I haven’t any political value.” She knew she was being disingenuous, but it was easier than truth.

  “Certainly you do,” he said. “But that’s not what she would be interested in this time. She wants to see you because I love you, that’s all. What about Cina? Will she make trouble for you?”

  She hadn’t wanted to think about that e
ither, and certainly not to inflict it upon Corin. Reluctantly, she said, “I don’t know what to do about her; when she finds out about you she will bring my father upon me like a fury.”

  “I thought he was a reasonable man.”

  “He is. And he expects me to be reasonable too. And that does not include falling in love with the one man in the kingdom I can’t marry.”

  “Love isn’t reasonable,” he said. “Don’t borrow trouble, Tam. If he comes I’ll talk to him. I can be persuasive.”

  “He can be stubborn,” she said, which made him laugh.

  “And Cina, should I leave her to you or speak to her myself?” he asked.

  “Leave her to me,” she answered with a sigh. “It would be cheating for me to hide behind you.”

  “You, my love, are a remarkable woman.” He reached toward her hand, then withdrew.

  She did not want to be praised at the moment. It would be too hard to resist touching him. “You didn’t show me the kitchen,” she said, looking at the food. “Beneath your dignity?”

  “I didn’t take you into the boiler-houses either,” he said. “I’m not allowed in the kitchen. No one is who doesn’t belong there. It’s noisy and hot. You wouldn’t like it.”

  “Don’t tell me you never snuck in and stole some food.”

  “The last time I did that I was twelve. I got caught and was made to wash dishes for an hour. I learned my lesson.”

  “You washed dishes?” she asked incredulously. “Who dared to tell you to do that?”

  “It was my mother’s orders,” he said. “She is a great believer that the punishment should fit the crime.”

  “That wouldn’t happen now, though, would it?”

  “That wouldn’t happen now,” he said. “I can go in and interfere however I like. But the less I tell other people what to do the better. There’s enough work without it.”