by The Queen
“Hey, baby. Did I catch you at a bad time?” I asked when Mandingo answered the phone. Time for my weekly fix.
“Ummm, well, not really,” he responded dryly when catching on to my voice.
“Will you be available later tonight?” I asked.
He answered my question with his own. “I have to ask you a question. Is that alright?”
I didn’t hear any usual seduction in his voice, and he evaded my question. Not good.
“What’s up?” I asked hesitantly. “You don’t sound too happy to hear from me.”
“When were you planning on letting me know you’re Sandy’s sister? You seemed to leave that bit of info out when I first asked where I knew you from,” he responded, annoyed.
“Mandingo, this is just a sex thing. I didn’t feel it was necessary to disclose that,” I replied.
“So do you make it a habit of going around doing your sister’s men?” he asked.
Now I was getting annoyed. How is this whoring motherfucker questioning what I do?
“You know, I really resent your accusation.”
“Ever since Sandy left here a couple of months ago, I have been trying to put it together…” he started before I cut him off.
“Let me get this right. You slept with Sandy a couple of months ago?” I asked as if I didn’t already know, then added, “Well, actually, it was over three months ago when she was in town.”
“Me and Sandy will always have a connection. Just because she married a knucklehead doesn’t mean a thing,” he responded.
All I could say was, “Alrighty! You and Sandy?”
He answered, “You say that like you didn’t know, when actually you knew the whole time.”
“Hell, nigga, I was trying to do your sorry ass a favor. Shit, I thought you and Sandy were done years ago. I didn’t know you currently had something going on with my sister,” I told him. “Funny, your ass kept coming back for more of this knowing your self-righteous ass was still fucking her.”
“Doing me a favor?” he rudely laughed. “Well, since I’m not done with your sister, I won’t be getting with you anymore. Hopefully, I’ll be able to survive without ‘your favor.’ So, this will most certainly be our last conversation.”
“Wait! Wait a minute, Eric. This is getting way out of hand.”
“You’re the one talking about doing my sorry, self-righteous ass a favor,” he chuckled.
“I know. I’m sorry. I take it back. We don’t have to go out like this.” My throbbing pussy started trying to reason. “Eric, who’s going to know? It’s not like anyone’s going to find out. Sandy is way in Denver with her husband. I know you’ve been thoroughly enjoying this pussy and ass, not to mention the way I suck that big dick until you cum. It doesn’t have to end here, you know?” I put it out there, hating to give up his lovely dick at the risk of playing myself.
He was silent for a moment, as though he was giving my proposition some thought.
“Elaine, you might be okay with it, but I certainly am not. So, give it up. We’re done!” he sharply stated.
See, this is why you have to treat niggers like a trick. I get paid for my pussy, and the dumb ass that I gave some to for free wants to act like an ass.
“You know what? No problem, Mandingo. You won’t hear from me anymore,” I said, then hung up my phone.
I don’t know what to say about this. Shit! Shit! Shit! Now I have to be nice to Russell’s ass again. Hell, five tricks combined can’t equal one Mandingo. Damn Sandy! Sneaking her ass over here to fuck Mandingo instead of the jackass she married. I guess that’s why Lewis had plenty of time to impregnate Charise.
Who can I tell this shit to? Where is Harmony when you need her? No, I can’t have Harmony in my business. Renee? No, she already tries to get all the dirt on my sisters and has no problem talking shit to them with whatever she knows. Besides, I don’t want her to know I’ve been blowing Russell off for Mandingo. Never let a bitch have too much ammunition on you. Kelly! I can call Kelly. She already knows I slept with Mandingo.
9
Sandy
“Sandy, where you at? What’s taking you so long? Come on in here before this water gets cold. Hell, you say I never do anything romantic, and now you got me waiting in this damn tub shriveling up like a raisin. Prune. I meant to say prune. Big Daddy’s too big to shrivel up to a raisin. Bring that big ass on in here and warm Daddy up now.”
What am I going to do? I am starting to show, and I can’t continue to hide my pregnancy from Lewis. How do I tell him I’m pregnant but don’t know if he’s the father? I’m fourteen weeks pregnant. That is right about the time I slept with Eric. What was I thinking not taking some precaution? Hell, I’ve always been careful not to get pregnant by Lewis, but lost my damn mind when it came to Eric.
Lewis is going to be pissed off. Then again, I know that bastard slept with Charise. He thinks I’m so stupid. They both do. I called her job that day, and she missed work for the first time ever. I couldn’t reach him or her by cell phone that whole day. Ironically, both of them didn’t bother returning my call until eight o’clock that night. They called about five minutes apart and made up some bullshit story when I questioned what they did with their day. Charise told me she had company, but when I asked for details about the guy, she developed a stuttering condition along with being hard of hearing. Lewis can lie well, but he also did the stuttering thing.
My dumb ass was feeling fair is fair, and ran to the comforts of my reliable old flame, Eric. I didn’t even see Lewis the whole time we were in D.C. I also noticed that every time I tried reaching Charise unsuccessfully, I was unsuccessful in reaching Lewis. Foolishly, I asked Lewis if he cheated on me while we were in D.C., and of course, he denied it. He claims he spent all of his time with his children.
I don’t know why I thought moving Lewis to Denver was going to curb his whoring ways. Denver lacks black women, but has many white women who relentlessly seek black dick. I know with every fiber of my being that Lewis has screwed at least one of those white women. Then the few black women also shamelessly try to get my husband. It’s like a fulltime job trying to keep tabs on him. Hell, I always got my kids trying to keep their eyes on his sneaky ass. They tell me that I need to leave him. I’m ready to pack it up and head back to D.C. At least there I don’t have to sit around like some damn fool.
I don’t know what Lewis will do once I tell him I’m pregnant. Will he try to play daddy of the year, or will he do his normal disappearing act? Even worse, what if he tries to be daddy of the year and it’s not his baby? How did I get myself in this mess? Why didn’t I just give Lewis the boot? What am I going to do with four children? One hundred thousand dollars doesn’t go too far these days. What if this is Eric’s baby? How will he feel about it? I should have stayed with Eric in the first place. He has more going for himself than Lewis.
“Sandy, I’m not going to keep calling you. If I get out of this tub, don’t let me hear you complaining to me again about what I don’t do for your ass. That’s what’s wrong with y’all damn women. You want to complain about what you don’t have, but when a nigga tries to give ya what you want, then y’all wanna act all stupid. You better come on if you coming,” he bitched from inside the large tub he had been waiting in for the past twenty-five minutes.
I walked into the bathroom and looked at that man like he fell and bumped his damn head. “Oh no the fuck you didn’t just compare me to other women! Since you want to compare shit, you do have a fucking raisin compared to some prunes I’ve really had. Now! How you like that shit? And for the record, getting in the bath with you, scrubbing your nasty-ass back, and cleaning the crust from your funky-fucking toes is hardly my idea of romantic. What’s worse is your bullshit idea of making the bathtub a Jacuzzi by farting in the water. It’s fucking disgusting, you scumbag motherfucker! Get a damn house with a real fucking Jacuzzi, ya cheap bastard! Motherfucker, you must not know who you fucking with!” I yelled for Lewis and half of Denver to hear,
taking a page out of Wilhelmina Wyatt-Wiggins’ book. No doubt whose daughter I am.
Lewis stood up in the tub, and somehow, his dick rising up turned me the hell on.
“Shut that stupid shit up and come suck my dick!” he said arrogantly.
I stared at his dick for a moment. “Whatever! But I know you better not try comparing me to some other bitches,” I said much softer while stubbornly making my way over to a waiting Lewis, who stood like Mighty Man with his fists resting on his hips.
His dick was standing at its full ten inches before I could kneel down and take it in my mouth. I hadn’t even taken my clothes off yet, and as good as I was sucking his dick, he didn’t give a shit. Somehow, after it was all said and done, I ended up in the tub washing his nasty back, crusty toes, and was the recipient of his personal Jacuzzi.
This is an example of a typical day in our lives. He talks shit, I have to check him, and then we end up fucking.
That next day while at work, I figured it was about time to tell the family to expect another baby. I decided to call Shawnee.
“Shawnee Wiggins here,” she answered on the first ring.
“Hey, sis, you busy?” I asked.
“Never too busy for you,” she responded. “You sound stressed. Everything okay?”
“If you call being pregnant and not knowing who the father is okay, then I’m wonderful,” I lied.
I could hear Shawnee choking. She put the phone down while she tried to recompose herself.
“Oh my God, Sandy,” Shawnee managed to say when she got it together. “How? Who?”
I laughed at her reaction. I didn’t expect it.
“Well, I got pregnant the old-fashioned way, and the potential daddies are Lewis and one of my old boyfriends, Eric.
I could hear the phone drop.
“Shawnee!” I called out. “Shawnee, are you alright?”
“I’m here,” she finally responded. “This is just a bit much for me. God, I now know how Harmony must feel having to listen to all of our problems.”
“Why, what else is going on?” I inquired.
“Hold on, Sandy. There’s a knock at my door.”
Shawnee put the phone down, but I could hear someone tell her that she had a flower delivery.
She picked the phone back up and said, “Sandy, I’m going to have to go now.”
“I could hear you received some flowers. I see Robert is trying to romance you again. I’m so jealous,” I told her.
“Yeah, yeah, Robert,” she answered. “I have to go now. Kiss the kids for me.”
She hung up before I could get another word in. Something was going on for sure. I still hadn’t found out what happened that day with Charise. Hell, I have my own problems to worry about.
10
Shawnee
I have to go somewhere so I can scream. I’m about to lose my fucking mind. Eric is bordering on stalking now. He’s calling me twenty to thirty times per day. He’s sending flowers almost every day to my job, along with stuffed animals that say “I love you.” His phone messages are erratic. One moment he’s “Baby, call me. I love you.” Then the next moment, he’s “Why the fuck are you doing this shit to us? We’re not done yet.” I guess he missed the rules of Booty Call class: There ain’t any damn love or feelings. We’re just supposed to do what we do and then keep it moving.
Now this is a man who has plenty of women and has been fucking not one, but apparently two of my sisters. Obviously, Sandy is not one of his exes. She’s a current, as well.
I am beyond furious. Let’s see. Two of my sisters are possibly going to have a baby at the exact same time by possibly the same man. Or the alternative to that, my sister is having a baby by the man I have been fucking for almost four months, who has the nerve to be stalking me now that I ended things. Oh, I’ve got something for his ass.
I picked up my phone to call Eric.
“Damn, girl, you finally called me back,” he answered.
“Listen up!” I demanded. “You better stop all these fucking calls. It’s over! Accept it and leave me alone. I don’t want your flowers, stuffed animals, your phone calls, or you anymore.”
“Shawnee, you can’t do this to us.” He sounded as if he were crying. “We belong together.”
I retorted angrily, “Oh yeah, I can see it now: us raising your child that happens to be my niece or nephew.”
“How would our child be your niece or nephew?” he asked.
“Note, I didn’t say OUR child. I said YOUR child! The baby YOU will have within the next five or six months will be my niece or nephew. So again, Eric, I say leave me the fuck alone.”
I was so pissed, tears were in my eyes.
“Shawnee, I don’t know what you’re talking about. I didn’t get Elaine pregnant. We were both protected,” he answered.
“Well, I guess you better figure out which other sister of mine you have fucked within the past four months,” I yelled, forgetting I was still in my office.
There was a long pause before he finally said, “Sandy? Sandy’s having my baby?”
“Yeah, you dumb bastard!” I said before slamming down the phone. Hopefully, he wouldn’t call back ever again.
OOH! Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! Oh my fucking gosh! I just told Eric about Sandy’s pregnancy, and she doesn’t know for certain. What is she going to think if he calls her and asks her? She’s going to know I told him.
My phone rang, and it was Eric. AGAIN.
“What Eric?” I asked.
“Shawnee, are you serious about Sandy having my baby?” he asked sadly.
“No, Eric,” I retracted to save face. “I just wanted you to admit you slept with another of my sisters. Three of us within four months? That is absolutely unforgivable. So now you can lose my number,” I said, hoping he’d actually not call me again.
“Fine. If that’s how you want to play this, I won’t call you again,” he said before hanging up on me.
Now I didn’t know whether to be happy or start worrying. I sure didn’t like the sound of that.
11
Kelly
“You want a glass of wine?” I asked Elaine when she arrived at my house.
“A glass of wine is definitely needed. You might want to find something stronger with what I’m about to drop on you, though,” she responded.
“Uh-oh! That doesn’t sound too good,” I laughed, trying to stay lighthearted.
I poured Elaine a glass of wine, and taking her warning to heart, I fixed myself Hennessy on the rocks. Then I took the bottle to the coffee table in the living room where we were sitting. Elaine looked at her glass and then at the bottle of Hennessy.
“Okay, bitch, you brought a whole bottle for yourself, but only a glass for me,” she said before we laughed.
Upon returning with the bottle of wine for Elaine, I said, “I hope you have an overnight bag with you, sis. You know I’m not going to let you drink a bottle of wine and then drive.”
“You’ll probably put me out before I can finish the one glass, after the mess I’m about to share with you,” she replied.
All I could do was raise an eyebrow. I gulped down my drink and poured another before she could say anything. I did not like the sound of her words already.
“Damn, Kelly!” Elaine laughed. “It ain’t that serious.”
I responded, “That ain’t what I just heard.”
“It’s time for some confessions,” she said.
“I’m listening,” I replied.
Elaine took a deep breath and then a sip from her glass. “Okay, here we go,” she started. “Remember a few months ago I told you I slept with Mandingo?”
“Yeah,” I answered.
“Well, I never ended it the way I said I would. I’ve been sleeping with him on a regular. That is until he just gave me the boot,” she shared.
“Is that what you have been worried about telling me?” I asked, confused.
She made a “poof” noise with her mouth. “Hardly. One thing I
never told you was Mandingo’s real name.”
“Why do I give a hoot about his real name? I never dated him,” I responded, taking a sip of my drink.
“His name is Eric, and that would be the same Eric that Sandy shot into town to hook up with,” she confessed, looking down into her glass.
I choked. “You have got to be kidding me,” I responded when I recomposed myself.
“Unfortunately, I’m not.” She sipped her wine and continued. “Even worse, I met him a few years back when Sandy introduced me to him while she was dating him. Not that it makes it any better, but I didn’t know they were still involved when I got involved with him. You know how Sandy always said she doesn’t go backwards.”
“Bullshit!” I yelled out. “I personally told you that Sandy came here and slept with him, but your freaky ass had to keep sleeping with him after that. I can’t believe you, Elaine.” I took another gulp from my glass before refilling it, now without ice.
“I guess I had that coming, and you’re absolutely right,” Elaine contended.
“But, on top of that, you didn’t end it. You waited until he gave you the boot,” I reminded.
“Ouch!” was all she could say.
“So that would explain the guilt I picked up on while we were all jumping on Charise. Funny, I noticed the same reaction from Shawnee. Does she know the man that had his face between her legs is Sandy’s boy-toy, also?” I asked.
“As far as I know, Shawnee never met him before. We all knew Sandy was involved with an Eric, but I can’t see how she’d make the connection,” Elaine responded.
“Well, I guess none of it matters anymore as long as you promise that you are absolutely done. Shawnee doesn’t need to be involved. It’s not like she’s sleeping with him. Thankfully, she’s married,” I reasoned.
“You know I’m done, and I agree, Shawnee doesn’t need to be involved. Lord knows I don’t need her having eternal dirt on me,” Elaine said with her hand held up to seal her promise.