by Kat Mizera
“I’ll go back to U.S. As soon as I find out what I want to know. I’m going to talk to Father Georgios if he’s still—”
“Oh, for fuck’s sake, stay away from the church!” Anatoly started walking again, shaking his head.
“What is everyone so afraid I’ll find out? Was it that woman called Irina? Was she a whore? A mobster’s wife? A gypsy? What could be so horrible? Just tell me!”
Anatoly turned to face him, a scowl crossing his rugged features. “KGB,” he said gruffly. “Your mother was KGB.”
“How do you know?” Vlad’s voice was a choked whisper of surprise.
“Because I knew her.”
18
Three months ago
Vlad started having nightmares again the night he proposed to Rachel. It had been a warm June evening and they were on vacation in Rome. He’d asked her to become his wife as the sun set, presenting her with a ten-carat sapphire ring because she’d said she preferred them to diamonds. She’d cried as she said yes and they’d spent the rest of the evening making love as passionately as they ever had before falling asleep.
He must have been calling out in his sleep because the next thing he knew Rachel was leaning over him, her silky dark hair brushing across his chest as she woke him.
“Babe, wake up. You were dreaming.”
His eyes snapped open and he gripped her instinctively. “What is it?”
“You were having a bad dream,” she said softly, running one hand along his cheek. “Do you want to talk about it?”
He let his head fall back. “I used to have this dream when I was a child… I would be the passenger in a car and we would go around a curve too fast. The car would go over the edge and we would be suspended in mid-air. That’s when I’d start to scream…and I guess when I called out. I’m sorry I woke you.”
“It’s okay.” She nestled against him. “And don’t worry, I’m right here. I won’t let anyone drive you off a cliff, not as long as I’m around.”
He wrapped his arms around her tightly. “I love you, Rachel.”
“I know.” She curled into him. “Hopefully, it’s not the thought of marrying me that sent you into panic mode.”
He chuckled, even though part of him had wondered the same thing. “I don’t think so. I have the nightmares sometimes. This is the first since we met, and maybe it’s related to making such a big commitment tonight, but I had one the night before I left for the U.S. for the NHL Entry Draft, too. So it’s a sign of change, not necessarily anything bad.”
“I think it shows you’re nervous.” Her blue eyes burned into his, a strange look on her face. “And we should talk about it.”
“It’s not you,” he said softly. “I love you. No one’s forcing me to be here. No one held a gun to my head and made me propose. Sometimes I just get a little worried about the future because…”
“Because what?”
“Because I feel inadequate. How does a guy who never had a family know how to be in one?”
“You’ve never had a serious girlfriend before, but we’re figuring it out, aren’t we?”
He nodded. “But I almost fucked it up in the beginning…”
“I’m not going to let you fuck it up,” she whispered, kissing him softly. “But we don’t have to get married right away. We can wait a year.”
He frowned. “Why would we wait? Does that get us something? I’d rather get married this year, at the end of summer.”
“How are we going to plan a big wedding in four months?” she demanded.
He smiled. “I’m pretty sure a woman with your connections can figure it out.”
“You’re on board for a big wedding?”
“Of course. Anything you want.”
“You realize we’ll be paying for it ourselves. My dad doesn’t have any money.”
“We have plenty,” he said. “Plan whatever you want. Just tell me what to wear and when to be there.”
“You have to pick your groomsmen and—”
“Brock for the best man and however many girls you’ll have, I’ve got teammates to match up with them.”
She narrowed her eyes. “You have to help me choose the food, the cake, what kind of tux you want… It’s not something you can just show up for.”
He leaned up to kiss her. “Okay. Just tell me what I have to do.”
“That’s it?”
“Did you expect me to argue?”
“I don’t know,” she admitted. “I guess…maybe?”
“I want to marry you. This year. So make plans and I’ll do whatever you tell me. I want you to be happy.”
“I want you to be happy, too.”
“You said yes. That makes me happy.”
She flushed, nestling into his shoulder. “I love you. What would I say other than yes?”
“You could kick me to the curb…”
“Nah. I’ve spent all these months teaching you to speak better English. What if I met some guy from Sweden and had to start over again?”
“Sweden?” He pinched her thigh. “There better not be any Swedish guys on the horizon.”
She giggled. “I seem to have a thing for this Russian blond I met.”
“Good thing.” He pulled her on top of him, kissing the bottom of her chin. “Does this Russian guy treat you good?”
“He’s amazing,” she whispered against his lips. “I adore him.”
“He adores you, too.”
When they got back from the trip to Europe, Toli and Tessa invited them over for dinner. Vlad and Toli had grown close over the last year, but Tessa and Rachel didn’t know each other very well so they thought this would be the perfect opportunity.
When they arrived, Rachel and Tessa disappeared into the kitchen, so Vlad followed Toli out to the patio where he had steaks and burgers on the grill. Toli glanced at him with a grin.
“So you did it—I’m happy for you. She’s fantastic. You’ll be good for each other.”
“I hope so.” Vlad switched to Russian and took a pull from the bottle of beer in his hand.
“Please don’t tell me you’re having doubts about her already,” Toli answered in kind, frowning slightly.
“Not about her,” he murmured.
Toli cocked his head. “You’re worried about…you?”
“In a way. There’s so much I don’t know and not only is she older than me, she was raised in a normal household, even with her parents’ divorce and all that. At least she had parents. What do I know about being a husband, a father? It’s scary.”
“Being in a relationship isn’t a lot different than being on a team,” Toli said. “It’s different, because you don’t treat women exactly the way you treat a teammate, but the basics are there. Treating each other with respect, communication, honesty… aside from sexual intimacy and romance, it’s very similar.”
“It’s still scary as hell.”
“Then why did you propose?” Toli’s voice was light, but his eyes were serious.
“Because I love her,” he replied simply. “She’s amazing. There have been a lot of women since I got to the U.S. but no one like her. I can’t imagine letting her go, so why not marry her?”
“I agree,” Toli said, “but you’re the one who said you were worried.”
“Not worried so much as I want to make her happy, the way she makes me. She doesn’t get cranky about my practice schedule or road trips…” He paused. “She reminds me a little of Tessa, you know what I mean?”
“I do.” Toli flipped the burgers. “But Rachel has a busy career as well, so never take that for granted. She’s patient and understanding, but at some point, probably when there’s a baby in the mix, she’s going to need more. Are you willing to give it?”
“Absolutely.” Vlad nodded. “I’d like to wait a little for kids, though. I don’t think I’m ready just yet.”
“You’ll never be ready.” Toli chuckled. “But waiting a little isn’t a bad idea.”
When they walked inside with
the food, the girls were bent over the table in the formal dining room, where Tessa had laid out dozens of pictures.
“What’s this?” Vlad asked, sliding his arm around Rachel’s waist and pulling her against him.
“I’m making a scrapbook of Toli’s hockey career,” Tessa explained. “I got all these pictures from his mother when I was in Russia last year, but most of them aren’t marked, so I have no idea what year, how old he was or anything, and half the time he says he can’t remember!”
“I’ve been playing hockey since I was six,” Toli protested, holding up his hands. “I played for a different team each year until I was fifteen and started playing juniors. Then I played for the men’s Russian national team, the Olympic team, three teams in the KHL, Colorado, New York, Winnipeg, and now Vegas. I can’t remember what’s in each of those pictures.”
Tessa shook her head. “But you could find out.”
Toli leaned over and kissed her. “Yes, dear.”
She playfully smacked him. “Fine. Be that way.”
“These are great,” Vlad said thoughtfully. “I only have a handful from when I was this age.” He picked up one, frowning slightly. Had Toli played for Coach Novoseltsev? The blue and maroon jerseys were striking and he was about to ask him when Toli’s phone rang and he moved out of the room to answer it.
“Let’s go eat before everything gets cold,” Tessa said, closing one of the photo albums on the table.
“I’d love to make one of these for you,” Rachel murmured against Vlad’s ear. “Maybe we can do some digging around when we visit Russia—”
“When we visit Russia?” He arched his brows.
“I want to know your country and your heritage, so we can share it with our kids. Just because you don’t know who your parents were doesn’t mean that’s not where you grew up. It’s part of you, Vlad, and when we have kids it’ll be part of them, too.”
“Since I don’t have family over there, I have no reason to ever go back to Russia,” he said softly. “But if you’d like to go, to see where I grew up, where I played… I’d love to take you.”
“I want to,” Rachel nodded. “But we can play it by ear.”
“Sorry, my brother was on the phone,” Toli said, coming to join them. “He’s coming to visit next week.”
“I’m looking forward to seeing him,” Vlad said.
“You guys grab plates and let’s eat outside,” Tessa said. “I probably only have twenty minutes or so before the baby wakes up.”
“I’ll get him,” Toli said, pressing a soft kiss to her cheek. “You enjoy dinner.”
She smiled over at him. “I won’t argue.”
“Toli, did you ever play for Coach Novoseltsev? At the Brishna Academy?”
Toli frowned. “I don’t think so, why?”
“There’s a picture in the other room and the uniforms are—”
Toli and Tessa’s infant son Alexei let out a shriek through the baby monitor that made all four of them jump.
“Wow, those are some lungs,” Rachel’s eyes widened. “Can I go get him, Tessa? I love babies.”
Tessa chuckled and waved. “Knock yourself out. I’ll be here eating a steak!”
“I’ll show her where it is.” Vlad got up and led Rachel up the stairs.
Rachel plucked the crying baby out of the crib expertly and nestled him against her chest. “You’re so precious,” she whispered, bouncing him lightly in her arms. She looked up at Vlad. “You want to hold him?”
“Maybe another day.” He grinned. “Today I’m enjoying watching you do it.”
She smiled down at the baby. “I’m not in a hurry to do it, but I think being a mom is the most important job in the world.”
He leaned over her shoulder, staring down at the infant she held. “You look even more beautiful with a baby in your arms.”
“I want one before I’m thirty. Does that work for you?”
“That’s five years,” he responded. “I’ll be twenty-eight, and that sounds like a good age to become a father.”
“But we can spend lots of time practicing in the meantime.” Her eyes twinkled up at him.
He kissed the side of her face. “Hell yes.”
19
Present Day
Rachel had been sleeping for a long time, and as she slowly came awake she found Jamie watching her through half-closed eyes. Sitting in the chair next to her bed, he seemed oddly possessive and protective, though it wasn’t at all romantic. In fact, he was more like a big brother now, someone who would take care of her. Other than Brock, Ashleigh, and the producer of her show, he and Viggo were the only people who knew what she’d been going through, and he’d spent as much time as possible with her. He was busy with rehab, but he’d found a local physical therapist to work with him so he could be with her after the surgery, and she would be eternally grateful.
“Why are you still here?” Rachel’s voice was raspy and hoarse.
“Shut up.” Jamie’s tone was snippy but there was a twinkle in his eyes as he got up and reached for the cup of water the doctor said she could have. He gently lifted the back of her head and held the cup while she took a couple of slow sips.
“Don’t you have to be home tonight?”
“Nah,” he said softly. “Since I found a rehab place nearby, I can do my PT here until you’re better.”
“I’m sorry I’m causing you trouble.”
“Shut. Up.” He shook his head as he gently brushed her tangled hair back from her face, his eyes meeting hers.
“I won’t ever be able to thank you for being here with me.”
“You don’t have to thank me, hon.” He squeezed her hand. “That’s what friends are for.”
“Did you talk to Ashleigh?”
“She’ll be here in a few hours,” he said. “I won’t leave until she gets here, okay?”
“Okay.” She nodded, her eyes fluttering closed. “Jamie?”
“Yeah, honey?”
“Would you hold my hand until I fall asleep? I just—”
“Sure.” He didn’t let her finish, and simply moved the chair closer to the bed, wrapping one of his hands around her much smaller one. With his other hand, he slowly caressed the back of her hand and forearm. She’d been nervous and stressed before the surgery and now she was terrified someone would find out she was in the hospital. She hated this part of being a celebrity, not having any privacy whatsoever, because she didn’t want anyone to see her like this.
“I’m sorry I’m keeping you from home—and from Viggo.”
“If I’m being honest?” Jamie spoke almost guiltily. “It’s easier for me to be away right now. The start of training camp is killing me. I need to be out there with the guys. Instead, I’m in rehab and looking at another surgery because I can’t bend my wrist enough. Being here distracts me from my own shit, you know?”
“Glad I could be of service,” Rachel murmured with a sleepy smile.
“You know I’d be here no matter what, right? Even if Vlad was here, I’d still have come to see you, make sure you were okay. You were there for me, and I’ll always be here for you.”
“I know. Thank you.” She closed her eyes and slowly drifted off again.
Ashleigh arrived an hour later and sank into the chair Jamie vacated when he left. She pulled a book out of her bag and had just opened it when Rachel shifted on the bed. Ashleigh put the book down and reached for Rachel’s hand, squeezing softly.
“Hey, sleepyhead. How are you?”
“Hey.” Rachel yawned, opening her eyes. “What time is it?”
“Eight thirty.”
“How long have you been here?”
“Just got here, sent Jamie home.”
Rachel nodded. “You should go home, too. You must be exhausted.”
Ashleigh smiled. “I’m fine. Bud knows I have to rest but it’s getting better now that I’m in the second trimester.”
“Does everyone believe the gallbladder story?”
“Yu
p. Lots of flowers and baskets of fruit and wine and chocolate will begin arriving shortly.”
Rachel smiled. “That’s nice.”
“Rach?”
“Hmm?” Rachel was dozing off again.
“You should tell Vlad.”
Her eyes popped open and she narrowed her gaze. “That’s a resounding… no.”
“A reporter got pictures of you and Jamie.”
“So? He’s my friend.”
“He’s got his arms around you, helping you into your car, while he gets into the driver’s side.”
“It shows I didn’t feel well and my friend was helping me.”
“If you don’t talk to Vlad, things could go wrong really fast.”
“Like how?”
“Like instead of Vlad being the bad guy, they’ll spin this to say you were cheating on him with Jamie, and that’s why he left you at the altar.”
Rachel shrugged. “I don’t care. I’ll talk to Viggo, make sure he knows it’s not true, and the press can say whatever they want about me.”
“Rachel!” Ashleigh pursed her lips. “You have a career and a reputation to think about. I know you’re going through something awful, but don’t piss it all away because you’re scared and depressed.”
“We can address the pictures, but I’m not talking to Vlad, and I swear, if you tell him, I don’t know if I could forgive you.”
Ashleigh shook her head. “I know you’re hurt and angry, but he keeps reaching out. Don’t you think you should talk to him? Like get on the phone and have an actual conversation? Don’t you love him enough for that? If nothing else, so you get the whole picture and some kind of closure?”
Rachel looked away, her eyes fluttering closed. “I can’t, Ash. Not yet. I’m too scared I’m going to die to worry about why Vlad stopped loving me or decided not to marry me. I don’t want him back because I have cancer.”