“But how?” I asked, remembering how the wolves had managed to create a full moon over London. “You never told us how you do it.”
“A secret satellite is currently in orbit above the earth,” said Claw, pressing a button. “Actually, satellite is rather a grand term for what is, in reality, nothing more than a big mirror.” On a video screen in front of us I could see a large satellite dish floating in space.
“Of course!” I gasped. “You reflect sunlight onto the moon …”
“… and depending on the angle and focus of the mirror, you can direct that beam down to anywhere at all on earth,” Fangs finished.
“Brilliant, isn’t it?” said Canis. “Although it is a tad on the expensive side. Still, we won’t need it after we began to harvest Miss Brown’s rather special fur…”
“But if you just want to kill vampires, why not focus the sunlight directly onto the earth?” I asked, changing the subject quickly. “They’d all fry.”
Fangs shifted uncomfortably. “Don’t give them any ideas, Puppy.”
“I admire your thinking, Miss Brown.” Claw smiled. “But cold-blooded murder isn’t quite our style. Besides, this way, we give the vampires a fighting chance to survive. A very slim fighting chance admittedly.”
“You know, we can focus the light of the full moon anywhere,” said Canis. “Even all the way down here, under water.”
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“Well,” said Claw, smiling wickedly, “we do have to fill the time while Londoners breathe in the wolf DNA somehow, and I have to pay Agent Enigma back for delaying us getting your fur… So, what say we have the first battle between the vampires and the werewolves right here?”
Canis clapped her hands, excitedly.
Claw pushed a joystick forward. I watched on the computer monitor as the orbiting dish caught the light of the sun and then lit up like a firework. I had to shield my eyes against the single, powerful beam that bounced off the moon and down onto the earth below. It looked like a pure white laser beam slamming into the sea halfway between Britain and Ireland.
Then light shot in through the windows of the secret base.
Lucien Claw, Scarlet Canis and the two technicians fell to the floor, crying out in pain as their werewolf transformations began.
And so did I. Claw had triggered my transformation as well!
Every cell in my body exploded at the same second. My fur began to retract, leaving behind smooth, pale skin. My snout shrank, and my ears slid down from the top of my head. And my tail was getting smaller and melting into the base of my spine. Blonde pigtails flopped down over my ears, and I looked down to discover that I was wearing a yellow, checked school dress.
“Wha–? Where am I?” I groaned, my head spinning. I could remember the transformation, but nothing before that. “Who are you people?”
Someone dressed in a smart shirt and long, black cape crouched in front of me. He looked familiar, but I couldn’t place him. “Puppy,” he said. “It’ll be OK.”
“Puppy?” I repeated. I’d heard that name before – but it wasn’t mine. “No, you’ve got it wrong. My name is Poppy.” I clutched my dizzy head.
“OK, Poppy,” said the stranger. He took my hand and squeezed it. “You’re perfectly safe, just try to remain calm.” He smiled, showing sharp teeth. Sharp teeth … black cape. I started to feel very sick. This man was a … a … vampire!
“AAARRRGGGHHH!”
I screamed and pulled away from the vampire. Then I realized there were other creatures in the room as well – furry ones with pointed teeth and claws. They were … WEREWOLVES!
This had to be a nightmare!
“AAAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHH!”
Friday 1804 hours: Wolf’s Lair, Below the Sea
My name is Special Agent Fangs Enigma, and I was forced to take over the narration of the assignment at this point as my assistant, Agent Puppy Brown, had, well … she’d changed. By all accounts, she became trapped as a werewolf during her first transformation, only changing back into a human at the full moon. Claw’s full moon triggered her change on the submarine.
She hid behind a sofa in the werewolves’ secret underwater lair, begging to wake up from this nightmare and crying like a little girl. Mind you, that might have been because she was a little girl.
How did I react to her transformation? Why, I jumped to my feet heroically and sneered at the werewolves. I could tell it had the desired effect. Claw and Canis shrank back in fear. They both gasped at the sight of my rugged manliness.
“Nobody upsets my friend,” I snarled, fixing Claw with a steely glare. Then I sprang into action, because I’m just that kind of guy.
I snatched up a decanter of milk and hurled it at the joystick that controlled the orbiting mirror. It was a genius idea, and one which I’d already employed to destroy the Shave-o-Matic, so I knew it would work.
POW! FIZZ!
The jar smashed against the control panel, sparks fizzing as the milk short-circuited the controls inside. Unfortunately, the werewolves had set their systems out in a completely illogical order, and I hadn’t hit the computer that controlled the mirror but the one responsible for the ballast tanks that kept the lair on the bottom of the sea. Shorting the controls had set them running in reverse! Gallons of sea water began to flood into the control room.
The water was freezing and took my breath away. Lucien, Scarlet and their two goons were splashing about in the rising water, doing the doggy paddle (ha!). Puppy − or Poppy, as she now preferred to call herself − clung to the back of the sofa, sobbing as the icy water rose around her.
I swam with all the elegance of a dolphin and the speed of an electric eel over to the two technicians and hauled their hairy faces above the surface of the water. “You two,” I yelled. “Get in the cargo hold of the nuclear sub now, and I’ll see that MP1 treats you fairly!”
They nodded eagerly at the offer – and why wouldn’t they? Surrendering meant they didn’t have to face the awesome power that was Fangs Enigma.
“You cowards!” Claw bellowed as the pair began to splash their way towards the air lock. “Clang! Kill Fangs Enigma now!”
I’d forgotten about Clang! No matter. He was no match for me. I pumped my strong arms and swam in a circle just in time to see the henchman aim his crossbow and fire. The wooden stake shot towards me. I was forced to execute an impressive backwards somersault to avoid its strike. I even took a moment to gulp down some of the milk that had floated out of the broken decanter in mid-spin.
Unfortunately, the stake ricocheted off one of the computer consoles and sped back towards me. It clipped my arm and cut a deep gash that I knew was going to need stitches. I didn’t mind, though. Chicks dig scars, and this one would be a belter!
Clang’s face fell as the stake continued on its flight path and struck him hard in the chest. The point did not pierce his tough terracotta hide, but the force of the impact was enough to slam him back against the wall of the lair.
CRASH!
He shattered into a thousand bits.
“You need to get yourself a better goon,” I said, spinning round to make sure my quip wasn’t lost on just anyone. “This one keeps going to pieces.”
Claw obviously has no sense of humour because he swung out his fist and hit me on the jaw. Years of MP1 training has taught me how to deal with pain, so I wasn’t actually hurt (although I may have yelped like a baby kitten just to fool him into thinking he’d done some damage).
The punch knocked me back into the water. I dived beneath the surface and then swam across the control room to surface beside Puppy, er … I mean Poppy. The computer panels were beginning to spark and fizz as the water reached them.
Then Scarlet Canis managed to activate the emergency pumps and the sea water began to recede. Less than a minute later, we were all flat on our backs on the floor, soaking wet, but still alive.
“No more delays!” roared Claw. “The transformation of the British public starts now!” A
fter dragging himself across to the banks of computers, he slammed a hand onto a big, red button.
A robotic voice rang out. “Missile launch activated. Launch in ninety seconds … eighty-nine … eighty-eight…”
I grabbed Puppy by the shoulders and forced her to look at me. “You have to listen carefully…”
Friday 1837 hours: Wolf’s Lair, Below the Sea
“You have to listen carefully,” the vampire said. “I know you can’t recall much, but you must remember me. My name is Enigma. Fangs Enigma. I’m the good guy here.”
“But you’re a vampire!”
“And you’re a werewolf. You just don’t feel like yourself at the moment.”
I stared down at my skinny arms. “I don’t look like a werewolf.”
“You’ll change back,” Fangs assured me. “As soon as the light of the moon is moved away from this undersea base, you’ll be your old, hairy self again.”
I shuddered. “And the other were-were-wolves, are they g-g-good guys too?” I stammered.
Fangs shook his head. “They’re planning to hurt a lot of people, and I need your help to stop them.”
“My help? But what can I do? I’m just a kid!”
“You’re a secret agent,” Fangs said with a smile. “And a computer genius, too. If anyone can stop that missile from launching, you can!”
Over the vampire’s pleading came the sound of a computerized voice reading out a countdown. “Forty-eight … forty-seven … forty-six…”
“Me?” I said. It all sounded so bizarre, like I was trapped in some weird, scary dream. “What do I have to do?”
“Just get to the computers and find one that’s still working. Then you need to stop— GLARK!”
Fangs’s voice was cut off as the female werewolf reached over the sofa and wrapped her paws around his throat.
“Go!” Fangs croaked. “Go now!”
Shivering with a mixture of fear and the effects of the cold water, I crawled out from behind the sofa and looked around. Everything was in disarray and soaking wet. Bits of broken pottery covered the floor and all the furniture and paperwork had been overturned. Two of the werewolves had disappeared inside the submarine, so that just left the one called Claw and the one who was trying to strangle Fangs.
Except she wasn’t trying to strangle him now … she was trying to kiss him with her huge werewolf lips! A voice at the back of my mind told me that this would be a very bad thing to happen – but I couldn’t work out why. Something to do with her lipstick, I think…
“Fifty-seven … fifty-six … fifty-five…”
The floor lurched as the base shifted on the seabed. I jumped at the nerve-shattering sound of metal grinding against rock.
SCREEECH!
Suddenly the bright moonlight that had been flooding the room disappeared.
“Scarlet!” yelled Claw. “I’ll have to secure the moorings. The water has damaged our position. Keep our guests under control!” He climbed a ladder that was bolted onto the wall and disappeared through a hatch in the roof of the submarine.
“Now, Pu-Poppy!” the vampire called Fangs cried. He was still fighting to escape the clutches of the female werewolf. “Get to the control panel!”
I was still very confused by what was happening, but Fangs had been kind to me, and I wanted to help him. I jumped to my feet and raced across the room to the nearest computer. Thankfully, it didn’t seem to have been damaged by the water.
“Thirty-two … thirty-one seconds to missile launch…”
I picked up a chair and sat down at the keyboard – but I had no idea what I should do next! I’d done a few computer classes at school, but that was just basic programming. My teacher hadn’t explained how to stop a missile packed with werewolf fur! I was going to have to guess how to—
OW!
The ends of my fingers burst open and long, yellow claws slid out. I wanted to scream but – for some reason – I felt happy that this was happening. Maybe Fangs was right. Maybe I really was a werewolf secret agent. I scratched the fur on the back of my hands and tried to concentrate on the computer in front of me.
Wait a minute! There was fur on the back of my hands, and all up my arms! And it was starting to spread across my face, as well. The weirdest thing of all was that it felt pretty good!
And suddenly I knew how to operate the computer. I tapped in a few keywords. If only I had my own laptop, I’d be able to hack into the system and—
My laptop! I remembered my MP1 laptop – and Cube. I remembered Cube! My tail wagged happily as memories flooded back.
The countdown to launch continued. “Twenty-five … twenty-four … twenty-three…”
GRR! ARG!
Fangs was still wrestling with the werewolf, even as she changed back into human form.
“Hold still, Enigma!” she cried. “It’s time for a snog and a snooze!”
“Not if I wipe that smile off your face first,” sneered Fangs. Then he pulled a kitchen sponge from his pocket – the one I remembered Cube giving to us – and wiped it hard across her mouth. Her lipstick disappeared, leaving her lips pale and free of anything dangerous.
And then Fangs kissed her. He kissed her long and hard and when he finally released her, her eyes rolled back in her head and she collapsed to the floor.
“She’s out cold!” I exclaimed.
The corners of Fangs’s mouth curled up into a smile. “She’s not the only one who’s good at kissing! I’ll bring her round when we get back home.”
“That’s where you’re wrong, Agent Enigma,” snarled Claw, re-emerging through the hatch in the floor. He too had reverted to his human form. “Neither of you will be going home!”
I turned back to the computer. My claws whizzed across the keyboard as I searched through the list of computer commands, trying to find the one that would abort the rocket.
“Nineteen … eighteen … seventeen…”
“Fangs!” I cried. “It’s not working!”
“Get away from there!” Claw grabbed me by the scruff of the neck and pulled me off my chair.
“Leave her alone!” Fangs growled. He punched Claw in the jaw.
Claw flew back across the room and crashed into what was left of Clang, grinding the already broken pottery pieces to dust. There was no way anyone could glue the henchman back together again this time.
Fangs helped me back into my chair. “Are you OK?” he asked.
I nodded. “I’m fine – but I need to get back to work.” I glanced down at the nearest monitor.
Fangs grinned down at me. “Nice to have you back with us!”
Suddenly, there was a roar and Claw hurled himself at Fangs, knocking him off his feet. The vampire and werewolf fought – and then Claw produced a wooden stake from his pocket and aimed it at Fangs’s throat. He must have found it among the rubble when Fangs had punched him!
“Fangs!” I cried, leaping from my chair and trying to snatch the stake from Claw. The sharp tip was already pressing against the skin of my boss’s neck.
“Don’t worry about me. Just stop the missile, Puppy!” Fangs croaked. “If the humans in Britain turn into werewolves, the vampires will attack them and start a war.”
Fangs was right. Saving humankind must always be our priority. Reluctantly, I sat back in my seat and tapped in command after command desperately trying to find the one that would stop the missile launching. It wasn’t easy to concentrate with the sound of Fangs struggling for his life behind me.
“Six … five … four…”
With a final stab at the “Enter” button, I heard the command:
“Missile launch aborted… Missile launch aborted…”
There was no time for a sigh of relief, though. The people of Britain may be safe, but Fangs wasn’t!
“And now, Agent Enigma, you die!” said Claw. I turned to see him kneeling over my boss, the wooden stake raised above his head, ready to plunge it straight into Fangs’s heart.
“Funny, really,” sai
d Fangs.
Claw paused, the stake still clutched in his hands. “What is?”
“Stakes,” Fangs replied. “They’re the only thing that can kill vampires, you know. Although we can be seriously burned by garlic. I hate the stuff, myself. And of course, there’s sunlight—”
“What are you prattling on about?” demanded Claw.
“But why garlic?” Fangs continued. “No one ever says, ‘The zombies are coming! Quick, get some potatoes!’ or ‘We’re being attacked by trolls. We need to throw bananas at them!’ Strange, when you think about it.”
Claw snarled. “You are SO annoying. I can’t wait for you to die!”
But that wasn’t going to happen. Fangs had distracted Claw long enough for me to creep up behind him. With a snarl, I brought the AnyBook down on the back of his head.
Claw collapsed, unconscious, on top of my boss.
“I always said reading was good for you!” Fangs quipped.
Then he hugged me hard.
Friday 1954 hours: Nuclear Submarine, Irish Sea
Fangs Enigma tapped a series of commands into the navigation computer and prepared to guide the submarine back home. “This is Wolf One calling Her Majesty’s Naval Base in Clyde,” he said.
“This is HMNB Clyde. Come in, Wolf One.”
“Good to hear you,” said Fangs. “I believe my bosses at MP1 have arranged permission for us to dock there.”
“They have indeed, Wolf One. You are cleared to arrive in your own time.”
“Roger and out!”
Puppy Brown entered the bridge deck of the submarine and sat in the seat beside Fangs.
Project: Wolf World Page 5