Meghan was breaking down my resolve brick for brick, and my beast was her ally. She had made me lower my body so that she could kiss me, but that only made me press my pulsing hard-on against her soft, cool flesh and I couldn’t help but move, couldn’t stop my body following his instinct. I don’t know how I managed to control myself when all I could think about was how she felt around me, how her pussy would clench around me like her mouth around my tongue. Then her hands found my face again, making me realize by the way she touched me that, despite my fears, I had managed to stop the shift. All my fear and worries were gone because of the glance she gave me, which was devoid of fear or repulsion.
She amazes me every time I see her.
“I love you, Jay,” she suddenly whispered, were voice thick with emotion.
All I could to was lean down to kiss her as tenderly and lovingly as I probably could. These small words broke every chain I had put on myself. There was no way holding back, not with those words in my ears, knowing she wanted me.
With a slow movement of my hips I entered her, slowly, carefully, and maybe because of that, it felt beyond anything I remembered. I needed this one to be special because I swore to myself it would be the last time. It had to be. I can’t risk her getting pregnant again.
Meghan adjusted herself and met me, pulling me closer, wrapping herself around me. And the way she looked at me, admiring how my eyes looked like right then, was something I wanted to remember forever. Finally, I had managed to find some balance, and, of course, it was all for her, all because of her. Every time I was around her, she put more pieces of me back together, but right then and there, I felt as if I was complete. I wanted to go on like this forever, making love to her, making her body and soul sing to me, etching each line of her body into my mind by touching and tasting it. I didn’t try to compose myself, hold myself back and just enjoy being inside of her, sinking into her, deeper and deeper, not allowing myself a release, and it seemed to become easier the longer I went on like that.
Then, again, she gently framed my face, yet in a way that made me stop and look at her. I could sense that something was bothering her, but before I could begin to worry her lips had brushed across mine before they moved to whisper quietly. “Let go.”
There was an edge to her quiet voice, indescribable need hidden in a fine rasp, close to despair. These two words were just as much for her as it was for me and like that, all those noises and sounds created a whole new picture of desperation.
“Fuck me,” Meghan told me under her breath, taking me off guard because of her crude words, and noticing that she added, needy: “Please,” raking her fingernails down my neck. “Let go and fuck me.”
Her eyes told me everything. She knew me so well; she knew I was holding back because of her; she knew that I was afraid of repulsing her and that I wanted to be gentle because I hadn’t so many times. And now, now she was impatient, pulling at me, pushing me deeper inside her, making me lose my breath. And I could see it glowing, that ring of corroded copper around her irises, that ring that came from me. And then, she made a sound that struck me deep to my core; that traveled right to my beast’s ear: a purr and it was so alluring that it pained me. It sounded teasing, daring and not human at all.
Had I really heard it? I couldn’t lie to myself.
Before I knew it Meghan took over control, grabbed my and turned me around, onto my back. She straddled my lap and like that pushed me even deeper inside of her and then started rocking her hips. There was no decision to make any more. I was lost. I was a slave to her will and body, just like that Then she dug her fingernails into my chest, and I felt that they were stronger and sharper than human ones; they were tiny and unobtrusive claws. It sent a sensation through my body that I had never felt before. As if the beast that she was becoming was addressing the beast in me. And it answered. I gripped her hips tightly, unable to prevent my claws stinging her skin, but her reaction was a moan and an arching of her back, as she pressed her pelvis harder against mine.
How was I ever supposed to resist her when she could switch off any reason with a twitch of her hips? All I could do was watch her with awe, as she rode me with her eyes closed, me barely being able to lay still, as my hips bucked beneath her. I needed more of her, wanted more of her as she sent currents of rapture through my body. And my beast became alive. I couldn’t restrain it; all I could do was sit back drunken and high with lust and pleasure as my beast claimed its turn.
Another growl escaped me and this time it was more primal, or purer, as it came from my beast alone, and yet there was no chance in Meghan, whose head bend back, eyes closed, mouth opened in bliss. It was the most beautiful picture to behold, and yet it wasn’t enough.
I watched myself grab her and a blink later; I was on my feet with her legs wrapping around my waist, allowing me to slide deeper inside her, carefully carrying her A few strides towards a wall, using it to push myself deeper. I had to pause not to come inside her instantly. The feeling was just too perfect. And that was the same reason I instantly continued to move in and out of her, plunging into her in the perfect rhythm that made her moans sound so indescribably.
It had to be the new strength of hers, why she could hold herself with her legs, but, more amazingly, it allowed me to explore her body with my clawed hands, just to eventually dig them into Meghan’s open hair to pull back her head and descend on her neck and throat, changing the pitch of her sounds. Finally, the phrase ‘playing her like an instrument’ made sense to me.
Everything was right, perfect; everything in our little bubble of sweaty, lustful rapture; but as I send her over and felt her clench around me in a sweet, torturing beat, it wasn’t enough. My beast wanted her surrender. My beast was longing for hers to pledge herself to it. As I lowered her onto her feet, I could see my glare reflecting in her eyes and how she loved every second of it. All my senses were suddenly overloaded by her, and my beast turned her around and pressed her against the wall again, but in return she just arched her back, pushing out her buttocks, for me to do with it how I pleased and I leaned forward, melting my body against hers. I slowly pushed my cock between the bulging of her butt cheeks onto her tailbone and she shivered of her own imagination, how deep I could bury myself into her.
She arched her back, even more, pressing her butt towards me and created delicious friction against my cock. A deep growl broke from my chest, and she just purred in return. And that was my undoing. I had never imagined that Meghan becoming a beast would be something to look forward to, but her reaction to my beast was the most precious thing in the world to me.
I slid inside her easily and ground against all the eager parts of her body. Again, she allowed me to play her body and force sounds out of her that only encouraged me to do more. Her trying to meet me perfectly was just the icing on the cake. There was no way that I could stop having sex with her, bury my inside of her. I was rough, pounding into her like the feral beast everyone thinks I am, but I knew I didn’t hurt her.
This needed a night she never forgot, because, in the farthest corner of my mind, I still was determined not to impregnate her, even though I was failing right now. What an irony. But I was sure, that briefly after a miscarriage a body couldn’t conceive. And up and away my concerns went.
I left hand snaked from her hip towards her stomach and then down between her legs, making her moan a melody I orchestrated, that was until my clawed fingers reached her clit. The touch alone made her come heavily, clenching around my cock as if she was holding on for her deal life. And I, I just buried myself deeper, not being able to hold back and allowed her to take her reward. After our orgasms had subsided I turned her around and wrapped my arms around her tightly, not wanting to let her go.
I wasn’t sure if I was going to see her anytime soon, or if my plans would force me to stay away from her completely. I hoped and prayed that despite my inner monolog, I hadn’t gotten her pregnant again. And on top of that, all my worries about the cursed soldiers under my c
ommand came crashing down on me.
Before I realized it, I had started to cry, and I cussed myself. Like that, I couldn’t keep her out of it. I didn’t want to burden her with my worries. But this sex had given me some relief I couldn’t control, no matter how hard I tried. Much to my relief, Meghan stayed silent and just held me. Even more, she patiently allowed me to let it all out and then put some clothes on me and took me to bed and cuddle, still not asking, not even with her eyes.
It made me love her even more.
X X X
I woke up to Clay Sorenson walking into the cage, on the other side of the bars. He just strolled into the place like he owned it, which I knew he didn’t. I was just holding Meghan close to me because I wasn’t sure when I was going to see her again and the last person probably both of us wanted to see was him. But hoping not to see the devil while being a prisoner in hell is kind of stupid.
How I reacted to an enemy walking in on us was no surprise. I jumped to my feet, ready to pounce, shifted into my beast form, claws out. For me, it didn’t make any difference that bars were separating us and from what I smelled, he was quite relieved about that. Dr. Clay Severin is an outstanding actor; he just forgets that your smell always betrays you. You can’t lie to a beast.
While I focused on him, Meghan needed some time to compose herself and get some clothes on. I just sensed it. I knew she would eventually tell me that she was changing, that she was becoming a beast. I didn’t want her to know that I already had figured it out because it would upset her even more.
Clay Severin just stood there his typical expression on his face when he wanted to show that he was in control, even if he wasn’t. I could see his act falter a bit, when Meghan stepped next to me, not being intimidated by him either. I got the message hidden in her action. She wasn’t in need of my protection anymore; she didn’t need to hide behind me anymore.
I must admit, it worried me, because what if she overestimated herself? What if she became something else entirely because she was infected in a natural way?
With that worrying my head and my tormentor and foe standing right in front of me, I was perfectly fine with my beast taking the reins of this situation. And that was also the reason I didn’t shift back or react when I sensed how Meghan touched me.
I wanted this man out of this place right now. I didn’t want him near Meghan. I couldn’t allow him seeing the ring around her pupils and figure out what was happening to her. So, I stood there and glared at him.
“As you can see, Meghan,” Severin explained coolly, getting ready to attempt another manipulation. “Your reunion isn’t a reward or a will of good fate. Ten needs your … care.”
What he said confused and angered me equally. I had been able to restrain myself most of the time, never took a risk on my assignments, so what was this about? Did he want me to be careless? Or didn’t he approve that I had begun spending time with those who were a lost cause to him?
“Obviously,” Meghan shot back in a tone that took both Severin and me off guard, but he shrugged it off.
“Bring him back to his full potential, and you’ll stay together,” he continued after a painfully long and decided to make a threat. “In the upcoming days, the cell next to your room will be converted into a bathroom. If you continue to act this defiantly, I will have the renovation stopped.”
Somehow Meghan struck a nerve by the way she acted, and that made me realize how little I knew about what she was doing, especially when she was alone with this crazy scientist.
“I’m sorry, sir,” she suddenly blurted out and started to fidget with her fingers, casting her glance down.
Was she serious right now? Or was this a well-played act to manipulate the biggest manipulator of them all? I couldn’t tell, and that unsettled me.
After another pause, Severin eventually patronized her: “I now you care a lot about him, so I will let it slide this time. But I expect obedience from all my subordinates, and I dislike backtalk with that specific tone of yours.”
That one word echoed in my head as my mind refused to cooperate: subordinates?
“I apologize,” Meghan brought out as if her voice was betraying her and again she brought her glance to the ground, continuing to fidget with her hands.
A strange vibe was coming from her, which I didn’t comprehend. Was this real? Was she faking it?
All I could do was stand by, glare at Severin and pretend that I was too stuck in my beast form that I didn’t understand a single word they said.
What unsettled me most, however, was that Severin ignored me and my state the entire time, as if I wasn’t even there. His entire attention was on Meghan and how she reacted to him. I sensed something that made me tense even more, and I didn’t know if this was a result of Meghan’s purposeful actions or just happened, but this man wasn’t only fascinated by her but infatuated with her. The realization paralyzed me with worry. I couldn’t believe that Meghan would want that kind attention of that man, and yet, she didn’t seem bothered. Maybe she didn’t know? Could she be that naïve? Thousands of thoughts rushed through my mind, each one worse than the one before. Nothing made sense.
After a while, I realized that I was still there with her in her room and that she stood there waiting for me to shift back into human form, or do anything. But all I could do was turn towards her as all my worries and concerns came crashing down on me. I had believed that she was safe and that Severin didn’t have any interest in her apart from the usual, apart from giving her to me as a reward, and get her pregnant. But now, now I have seen how he looks at her, how sensitive he is to what she says to him how she acts towards him, and it scares me.
There are so many people, so many beasts I must take care of, to whom I must make amends. I thought that she was the only one I didn’t have to worry about and now I must face the fact that she is in imminent danger.
It’s just too much; it’s too exhausting.
Those few minutes in her arms were paradise. I could sleep peacefully at last and now I don’t know if I can even close my eyes when holding her, because I don’t know if Severin will just chance his mind and take her for himself.
“What the hell did you do to yourself?” Meghan spoke, but it was rather a rhetorical question, she didn’t expect an answer, it was rather a scolding that I wasn’t taking care of myself, and she is right about that.
I barely sleep. There is too much to worry about.
Then she reached out and framed my warped face with her tiny hands, and I instantly closed my eyes and let out a long breath. Somehow, I relaxed, at least a bit, but if I would have let go all the tension I probably would have collapsed on the floor. So, she moved closer, close enough so that her scent started to waft around me like a wide cloak of comfort. Her thumbs began to brush across my cheeks before she let her hands slide down my check to wrap her arms around my torso and pull me close, pressing me against her body. Reluctantly, I placed my arms around her shoulders and rested my face against her head. As I did that, she started rubbing my back, massaging the rest of the tension out of my body.
I wasn’t holding her; she was holding me, comforting me without prodding or probing me for explanations or answers. Meghan was just there, saving me once again. I don’t know how she does it, but she gives me this feeling that everything is going to be okay. Everything will be fine. And I believe her. She doesn’t have to explain it to me; she doesn’t have to convince me. I believe her.
Some when I had shifted back while she patiently held me, her ear pressed to my heart, not complaining about the fact that her bare feet were standing on the cold concrete floor.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered, and I was; I was sorry about so many things that I didn’t know where to start.
“Don’t be sorry for something you’re not responsible for,” Meghan responded hugging me tightly, reading my thoughts just like that.
I don’t know how she does that either.
“I’m not responsible for what has happened to you
?” I asked, grabbed her by the shoulders and moved her away to look at her at arm’s length.
“It’s not as bad as you think,” Meghan gave back and turned away to sit down on the disheveled bed, and I followed her, not sitting down so that I could look at her.
“How can it not be as bad as I think?” I answered, and I could feel the tension return into my body.
I tried to keep it under control by clenching my hands into fists and stretching them out again.
“Because Val uses is to engineer a cure,” she answered.
Those words made my legs feel wobbly, so I sat down next to her and tried to digest that information. An anti-virus. Something that could turn us all back into humans.
“Val… as in Valerie Winters,” I inquired, skeptically. “Are you serious?”
“Yes,” she nodded briefly. “And I believe her. I’m sure she can pull it off. She has monitored the progress of my infection, and because of that, she can study the behavior of the virus they have created as if it was a natural one. With that, she is sure to create a vaccine.”
“A vaccine only helps to prevent an infection, not reverse it,” my response was automatic and a remnant of my time as a pre-med student.
“Are you sure that she said exactly that?” I asked softly, as I obviously had hurt her.
Meghan stayed silent for a moment, staring into a far distance, apparently trying to remember the exact wording.
If Meghan had read my diary, she knew that I didn’t trust Dr. Valerie Winters.
“Anti-virus,” she suddenly spoke and nodded, relief written all over her face. “She talked about creating a cure, an anti-virus.”
I reached out and took her hand.
“She explained it to me using these words. She didn’t say vaccine,” Meghan nodded, approving herself and glanced into my eyes, as I gently stroked the back of her hand with his thumb.
“I don’t know if we can really trust her,” I admitted after considering her words. “But I am willing to try.”
The BeAst Of Me (The Beast And Me Book 5) Page 6