Her nipples hardened without any attention on my behalf, and I could feel them press into my chest. Her panties were already soaked as I could smell the wetness before I grabbed both her wrists with one hand and brought the other sliding around her waist pressing her read clit against the bulge of my cock. She let out a huff of frustration when all I did was cupping her pubic bone, but I took the chance and slid my tongue into her mouth, all the while guiding her backward to our bed. It was then when I rubbed one of my fingers against her, making her gasp that I stopped so that I could watch her expression and smile softly, while I took her captive with my glare. I could feel the corners of my mouth twitching slightly as I felt what that action alone did to her. She was losing all self-control just because of me. And I failed myself.
I had pulled off her shirt and taken off her bra; before she could wake from the spell that I seemed to have put on her, she already was getting ready, lying on her back. I kissed her gently and woke her as my lips were still lingering on hers while my hands were already working on her pants. All she had to do was lift her hips and invite me in as she lay there naked beneath me.
I looked at her with the glance of the beast, and yet I felt as if I was still myself. Sometime in between now and the days before I found myself in the beast and became one with it, I managed to enter the state in between, being both human and animal.
She just looked at me in awe, and I didn’t want to let this moment go to waste. I couldn’t, quite honestly. I took my chances and lowered myself between her legs. First I only kissed the soft skin of her thighs slowly moving towards her center, and then softly nipping her most sensitive skin. It was so surreal until her sounds reached my ears, making me realize that I really was tasting her, sucking on her flesh, tormenting her with ecstasy. I wanted to continue this for all eternity, but there were more important things to take care of. I had to continue, slowly, but couldn’t take as much time on her body as I wanted, because we still had a secret agenda.
When I finally reached her clit, she seemed to instantly be ready to go overboard. As always, I couldn’t let her go just like that without teasing her just as patiently while licking, kissing, and nipping her tender flesh, first circling thoroughly before starting to explore her clit as if I didn’t know what to do with it.
Meghan’s frustrated growl and her bucking, writhing body was my signal to rub my tongue across her clit and then pushing it inside her, which brought made her tense so hard, her body started twitching, and all of that just because of my tongue.
That all changed when I pulled away my tongue and watched her while I pushed my index finger inside her, ever so slowly, while continuing to work on her with my tongue. A groan erupted from her with every movement of my hand, becoming louder, often, and more desperate with the second and third finger I pushed inside her, gently. It was the third that made her beg for more and say my name. The way she said it made me feel it all over my body and it threatened to break my patience. I could see how much she was enjoying feeling my fingers move in and out of her and as I added my thumb, pressing against her clit and drawing circles, she couldn’t look at me anymore. Her eyes shut and her body arched, and she leaned her head back, mouth open in rapture her. I could watch Meghan come every day. It was the most beautiful thing, especially when I could prolong this with continuing to rub my thumb against that sweet bud of nerves.
Usually, I would have waited for her to recover, but not this time and I can’t really say why. Maybe it was the stench that was lingering on her, which I had to eradicate, maybe it was because she had teased me, maybe it was because of the end coming closer – it will be in just three weeks – I can’t explain it, and it doesn’t matter. It didn’t matter to me, right then and there.
“Ready?” I asked huskily and looked down at her.
It had been a rhetorical question, a warning to brace herself because I didn’t give Meghan the time to answer. I grabbed her wrists and placed them above her head and then slowly lowered my hips, guiding myself inside her, savoring inch per inch.
Again, her body reacted wildly, with her moaning in a mix of pleasure and pain. She had to be oversensitive without getting a break from her last orgasm, which made her tense tightly around my cock. So, when I started to move, sliding out and then all the way in again, I took my time, reveling in the feeling of her around me, tensing, twitching, moaning, bucking. That was until she opened her eyes again and looked at me. Her expression was amazing, and I could watch and feel her come once more, once, twice and then I stopped counting. She made me come with her, but it wasn’t enough, because as soon as I did, her motions, her sounds, made me hard all over again. Which was absolutely crazy, but my mind was messing with my body, because I somehow knew that this was the last time and I didn’t want it to end.
Somehow, Meghan managed to pry her wrists from my hand and brought her hands up to frame my face. With a gentle pull, she brought me closer and gently pressed her mouth against mine. She was burning, just like me, and our lips merged perfectly together. The moment they touched I could feel one last orgasm explode inside of me and I couldn’t stop my erratic movements, prodding into her deep and hard. Feeling me come made her follow me over the edge just a blink of an eye later. And all with our lips still connected and our eyes still closed.
I collapsed on top of her after there was nothing left, managing to still hold some of my weight up with my arms. All I needed was having her close right then. I didn’t want to think about our plan to leave this place, but it came crawling back into my head every time I pushed it out.
After today, Meghan will act even more detached from me to lure Severin even closer, which means that we will stay away from each other and not have sex. At least not like that, not out in the open. People must believe that she doesn’t want me anymore. I hate that plan, but it’s the only way to get what we need.
I just wish she hadn’t told me at all, no matter how important the information was, it wouldn’t have made any difference, but Meghan had to tell me about Wheeler, and what happened three days ago, in his cage. Especially since she believes that we now don’t have to worry about him, because she put him in his place, but I can’t stop worrying now. Because I don’t recognize this man. Meghan told me a lot about him and their sessions, just as she talked about Torres. All things which weren’t giving away our plans, because that happens in a different way, but ever since Daniel Wheeler became a beast, he seems to be a different person, a real beast. And I can’t imagine that he can be trusted if he was willing to rape her.
“Or, maybe, White knows what we are trying to do and simply tries to unsettle us,” Meghan suggested as she told me; and she might be right.
I don’t understand how she can be so calm about it. Maybe I should just trust her in this. She seems so certain that Wheeler will follow her lead, but she’s not the one who has him on the team.
“I told you because I don’t want White or Daniel to tell you, when it’s not helpful,” Meghan continued. “I’m not happy about what he was trying to do, but I managed the situation, and he will follow orders. You can confront him later.”
Meghan was lying in bed with me, whispering all of this while we were pretending to fall asleep. Like that, I could hide my beast trying to break free, tear down the door, find Wheeler and rip his throat out.
We weren’t cuddling, as planned, but she still touched my back under the sheets, trying to help me stay calm.
Meghan has so much control; it’s astonishing, or maybe – and that seems more like it – her beast hasn’t come out yet. I hope it never will. I hope she will take the injection, the anti-virus before that happens.
Day 237
I shouldn’t write anything down until it’s over and, to be honest, I don’t really have the time to write either because otherwise, I might have written more. Simply to clear my head. I know Meghan doesn’t write anymore. She is too tired after her sessions with Torres and Wheeler, and after her meetings with Severin. I’m worried that
all of this is taking its toll on her, that the pressure is simply too high. She sleeps a lot, getting to bed early and out of bed late. It must be the virus, what else could it be?
When Meghan came ‘home’ for lunch today, she was clearly upset, but she tried to hide it, because of the cameras that were always watching us. I could read it off her face that she needed to talk, but there was no chance that we could without raising suspicion. And the usual way we used to exchange information directly is out of the question, now that Meghan must act as if she has a crush on Severin. We used to shower together to talk.
“You were right,” she suddenly spoke, her head tilted downward so that the cameras couldn’t catch it.
So, I pretended as if she hadn’t said anything at all and continued to eat. For the cameras, we were simply eating in silence, which had become more often.
“About Val,” Meghan added and, again, I did my best not to react with my body. “I shouldn’t have trusted her.”
Hearing that unsettled me. The only time she spoke to me now was when something was up that could threaten our plan. The last time it was Wheeler, which Meghan now claims to have under control. And now it was Dr. Valerie Winters, whom I didn’t trust, to begin with.
“They don’t plan on letting us go,” she continued and then shoved something in her mouth to chew on, allowing me to let that information sink in before she added. “All of this is supported by yet another organization. They want to gather all of us together, allegedly allowing the ones that can control their beasts to have a normal life, and lock those away who aren’t.”
I didn’t know what to say to that, just that I wasn’t really surprised and yet it made everything worse.
“But we will pull through,” Meghan nodded once as if to reassure herself. “We just have to make sure that the cars don’t have any trackers. We’ll find a way, right?”
She looked directly at me: “Are you okay?”
“Yeah,” I answered and nodded, because what else could I have said?
I wish things could have been different. I wish that I could believe in what Meghan believes in. She is so certain that nothing will go wrong, that we will be able to control everything, but the fact is: we can’t.
I never intended the wild beasts just to leave this place. I did my best to control them and to a certain amount I can, but it’s not enough. I can’t just free them and I sure as hell won’t allow them to be captured again.
Meghan doesn’t know it but she did me a favor. Now, the decision is even easier to make, even though she will not forgive me. Maybe in time. I am sure that the anti-virus Valerie is creating will be able to reverse what happened to her. Peter told me that it looks good and that she will have enough for two injections. One for me and one for her, but I doubt that it will work on me and that one injection will be enough for her. She must take both, and this curse will end with her.
But I know I can’t let anyone of us go. I can’t allow another organization to pick up this insane experiment. All our suffering, Meghan’s, mine, and all the cursed beings under this roof, would have been in vain, and it would just continue. I can’t just take an anti-virus and change back, and not be sure that the others will be changed back, too. There is no way that I can trust another organization to keep that promise.
I made my decision a long time ago; I must admit that but what Meghan told me today just proved my right. I must end this. We all are supposed to be dead anyway.
Peter
There is only one person that betrayed everyone, and that is you, Lieutenant Jay Flynn.
Day 14
Peter told me that I’ve been in a coma for two weeks. I’m not sure if that means 14 days or more; it doesn’t matter. He gave me my diary and told me that it’s vital I remember what happened. I don’t know why that is. Maybe it’s part of the healing process. My hand is shaking while I write so that could be an explanation. But I don’t know what I should write, especially if he chooses to read my diary. Then again, what does it matter?
I am alive. He is alive. And that’s all I know.
He wants me to remember the day I betrayed everyone. As if that is something I would forget, even after being buried alive beneath tons of steel and concrete.
“Tell me, what’s the last thing you remember?” Peter asked. “Tell me, and then write it all down, every bit of it,” he insisted, and that felt off.
That’s when I realized that he hadn’t sat down next to me so that we were eye to eye. That’s when I saw that he was seated in a wheelchair. That’s when I saw the dark bruises and still healing scars on his face, and that his left arm was in a cast. I couldn’t see his legs because I couldn’t move, as my legs both hung in loops from the ceiling.
“Tell me, Jay.” Peter retrieved my attention.
I knew what I had decided that day; I just wasn’t sure what the last thing was I could recall.
“You know, having enhanced regeneration can suck,” Peter explained. “Especially, if your body doesn’t care if the bones it heals aren’t in the right position.” He paused, willing his words to sink in. “It took almost a day to get us out of there.”
“Who else?” I asked, and one could hear that it was the first thing I had said for a long time; my voice was hoarse, and I rather croaked then spoke.
“You want to know whom you didn’t kill?” Peter gave back, and his hostility was palpable.
It dawned on me, looking at him, hearing his tone, that we weren’t allies anymore. He knew that it was my doing that put him in a wheelchair and killed probably hundreds of people.
“You, me, and Twenty,” Peter eventually answered my question, sounding husky. “And probably Four.”
I didn’t know what to say to that, what statement to make, because that what was left unspoken, was filling the space between us with dread. First, he was referring to my comrades as subjects and second: Valerie was dead.
“Don’t worry, my brother definitely didn’t make it, they found his remains scattered all over the place,” Peter said, leaning towards me and his expression was dark and yet unreadable. “We suspect that Four survived because we haven’t found his body. From what was possible to gather, he was pulled from the rubble, because he was at the outer door when the bombs went off. But you know that.” Again, he paused. “There is only one person that could have saved him. And that’s Meghan.”
I flinched involuntarily when I heard him say her name. There was something alerting about how he spoke it.
“Or rather ‘Alfa’ as we call her,” Peter added, while he watched me carefully, wanting to see my reaction. “Since she’s the first of her kind.”
Again, I didn’t say anything. What was there to say? The way Peter expressed himself made it obvious that he was back on the enemy’s side, and for once, I couldn’t blame him. I killed his brother and his girlfriend, and, on top of that, I seemingly took his legs, or his ability to walk.
“You’re getting these off today,” Peter knocked against my casts, as I stared at his legs. “You’re going to walk. And I will, too, eventually, but never as before. If that’s what you are wondering.”
I looked him straight in the eyes again, knowing that the least I could give him was the truth.
“I don’t remember much,” I admitted. “Or, I’m not sure if what I remember is true. It all went down just as planned, with the only difference that I had decided that we all should die as we were supposed to. I send Meghan ahead with the anti-virus, send the others to check on the explosives and then locked the door. I saw her. She turned around. She knew what I was going to do. And Daniel noticed, too. He got past me before I could stop him and that’s how he survived. ‘What the fuck are you doing?’ That’s what he shouted at me, and that’s how everyone knew, and I honestly believe that all of them accepted it. I don’t know where you were, or how we survived.”
“Your soldiers shielded you both,” Peter answered that question. “Twenty and you, since you were their leaders and that’s what their inst
incts told them. Because they sacrificed themselves, you survived.”
I listened to Peter’s words and nodded.
“You cost us almost all of the promising beasts that day,” he continued. “But you made up for it big time.”
His words confused me, but I couldn’t ask him what he was so happy about, because I felt dizzy and strange, as if I wasn’t in my own body. Which made me wonder if I was still a beast, but then I wouldn’t have had the ability to heal that quickly.
“But that’s a story for another time,” Peter continued and got his wheelchair moving. “Read your diary, and write down what you do remember. Let it come back to you. I need the details.”
I frowned and blinked, as my vision began to blur.
“Oh, and one thing,” Peter stopped, and I gave him my full attention, trying to focus my vision on him. “It all was in vain what you did. You didn’t save her.”
His words were drowning my ears, but I didn’t get what he was talking about.
“Meghan won’t take the anti-virus,” Peter grinned at me and reminded me eerily of his dead half-brother. “She won’t because she will not risk your baby’s life.”
My breath stuck in my throat.
“Yes, that’s right, Jay,” Peter continued gloating. “She didn’t tell you because she didn’t want you to worry and do something stupid. What an irony, isn’t it? And now she’s out there, being a beast and soon giving birth to one. Fortunately, she’s not alone. She has Four of all beasts to help her,” Peter laughed, darkly. “You think he’ll be able to keep his hands off her? After all, so you know, Four already tried to rape her. Do you think he will endanger your child? Nah, not when he wants to lure her into his bed. He’s a good-looking guy, and she thinks you’re dead. Sweet dreams, Jay. I can’t wait to watch you having nightmares.”
The BeAst Of Me (The Beast And Me Book 5) Page 8