by S. C. Ransom
“OK, look, I know it sounds crazy. It is crazy, in a way, and when I first discovered it, I thought I was losing my mind. But it’s all for real.” Grace’s smile was politely encouraging. She was sitting back in her seat, struggling not to cross her arms. How could I convince her?
“Do you remember that trip to St Paul’s, the one for the art club?”
“Yes,” she said dubiously.
“Do you remember that I said I saw a ghost?”
“I do!” She sat forwards again, wanting to be convinced. “Was that Callum?”
“Yes, that was the first time I saw him, and St Paul’s is the only place where I can see him properly.”
“What happens the rest of the time?”
“I can see him in any mirror, and I can hear him when his amulet – or bracelet – is in the same space as mine. He has an identical one to the one I have, or rather had.” My voice caught again as I thought about my loss. “Without the amulet he’s … nowhere. I can’t see him or speak with him.”
“So what’s Catherine’s got to do with all this? Why has she stolen it? What does she know about Callum?”
Where to start? I shut my eyes briefly and tried to work out the best way to tell the story. “Callum isn’t your average ghost,” I began, trying not to notice the sceptical look that flashed across Grace’s face before she composed herself again. I carried on quickly. “Everyone who drowns in the River Fleet gets thrown into some sort of purgatory. There are hundreds of them, and they all wear amulets they can’t take off that make them do certain things. There is one amulet that, and I don’t understand why, lives on our side, in the real world. Every so often it turns up in the River Thames.”
“The bracelet that you dug out of the mud in Twickenham,” Grace confirmed, nodding.
“Yes, and whoever finds it makes a connection with one of the Dirges, and that—”
“The what?”
“Oh, Dirges. That’s what they call themselves. They live in a state of perpetual despair, so it seems apt.”
Grace nodded again, and cupped her chin in her hands as she rested her elbows on her knees. “OK. I didn’t mean to interrupt. Sorry.”
“No, it’s OK. I know it’s strange – more like a horror story, really.” I paused for a second, shaking my head. “Where was I? Oh yes, when I picked up the amulet it made a connection with Callum. I had a strange vision that night, and I was going to tell you but you fell asleep. Then we went to St Paul’s, and he was actually there! I don’t know which of us was more surprised. Once he knew where to find me he would appear behind me in the mirror. The first time was a bit scary – actually it was a lot scary – and it took him a few days to work out how to talk to me, but then he did. We’ve been talking ever since, and we just fell in love.” I paused, trying to contain my grief. Grace took my hand and squeezed it gently.
Looking at her gratefully, I carried on. “What I didn’t know was that the Dirges can use my amulet to escape from their horrible lives. If someone on this side wears it, and then takes it off but keeps it near them, they can be found by a Dirge, attacked, and all of their memories stolen. And if that happens, you die and they use your memories to escape purgatory. We thought that meant they just died properly, but it turns out that they get the chance to come back to life. Catherine was a Dirge, and she stole all of my memories, nearly killing you in the process.”
I could see Grace trying to make sense of all the information. “Is that what happened in Kew Gardens?” she asked, trying to keep the edge of accusation out of her voice.
“Uh-huh. It’s a much longer story, but what’s important is that Catherine stole all my memories and left me for dead. Callum was able to save me. He copied all my memories as she stole them and the second you put the amulet back on my wrist in the hospital, he was able to download them all back into me. It was a close call.”
Grace was considering the carpet, her chin still in her hands. Swallowing nervously, I pressed on. “Catherine is now alive and is using all the memories she stole to do all the stuff with Geeky Graham and Abbi, clear out my bank account, everything. What I don’t know is why she’s doing it, why she hates me so much.”
“So that weird accident was all because of her?”
I nodded. “She’s determined to cause trouble.”
“Have you got a picture of her? From the bank?”
“They were going to e-mail me a still from the video, but I don’t know if they’ve done it yet.”
“Can you look now?”
It seemed an odd request, but I quickly opened up my laptop and logged on to my e-mail account. I hadn’t been on it all day, so there was a lot of junk, but in the middle was an e-mail from Oliver, the technical guy at the police station. Grace hovered behind me as I opened the attached image. He had captured the moment when Catherine looked up at the camera and gave that hideous smug smile. I heard a gasp from Grace.
“No, it can’t be!” She started to pace up and down my small bedroom, shaking her head.
“What is it? Do you recognise her?”
“This really is all true? Everything you’ve been telling me? Dead people and reflections and stealing memories?”
“Every word, Grace. Have you seen Catherine before?”
The face that turned to me was stricken. “In Kew Gardens. I saw her just before I collapsed. I thought that it was a weird hallucination, so I didn’t mention it to you. Are you really telling me that she was dead then?”
I nodded mutely.
“And now she’s come back to life?” I nodded again.
Grace suddenly sat down on the futon with an uncharacteristic thump. “This is too much.” She put her head in her hands.
“I know, I’m sorry, I’ve just dumped all this on you in one go, and it’s a lot to take on board. I had weeks to get used to it. Why don’t you just sit there for a minute and I’ll make us a cup of tea, or something. For the shock.” I was babbling a bit, it was the relief at having got all this stuff off my chest at last. I jumped to my feet, forgetting about my injuries. “Owwww!” Grace looked up in alarm, then her expression turned to one of concern.
“Don’t move, Alex. You should keep still. I really need some air so I’ll bring us some tea on the way back, OK?”
“OK. Just don’t tell Josh anything, will you? He knows it was Catherine who attacked me, but not about the rest of it.”
She snorted. “Well, it’s hardly the kind of thing I’d suddenly drop into conversation, is it?”
“No, I suppose not.” But I was talking to the closing door; Grace had already left the room.
I sat back in my chair and tried to ignore the thumping in my head. My hand moved to my empty wrist. “I gave away your secret, Callum, I hope you don’t mind. I just can’t do this alone any more; it’s too hard.”
When Grace reappeared, she was full of questions, so I spent the next hour telling her everything that had happened, with all the details. It was such a relief to be able to talk about it all with someone, and someone who, as far as I could tell, truly believed what I was saying. But it couldn’t solve my biggest problem: how to find Catherine and get my amulet back. I also realised that I was physically drained. I was finding it harder and harder to think of the answers to all Grace’s questions. Eventually I had to stop her.
“Grace, I’m so pleased to tell you all this at last. You’re my best friend, and I’ve hated keeping secrets from you.”
“I just wish I’d mentioned the hallucination sooner, then you wouldn’t have had to do everything on your own for so long.”
I smiled briefly. “The thing is, I’m exhausted, and I can’t think straight. I’m going to have to rest now.”
“Oh, Alex, I’m sorry! I’ve been asking so many questions. How are the bruises?”
“Well, just to add to the mess my face is in, I’ve got a lump the size of an egg above my ear and some spectacular marks down my arm.” I pulled up my sleeve and Grace gave an audible gasp. The red welts had darkened,
and there was a visible outline of the club head just below the shoulder.
“Alex, you really should go to the police. You were lucky she didn’t kill you.”
“I can’t, Grace! What am I going to tell them? She knows so much about me that she’d just twist everything and I don’t want to risk getting into any more trouble. No, I have to sort this out myself.”
“Not completely by yourself, Alex. I’m here, and I’ll do whatever I can.”
“Are you sure you want to get involved? It’s dangerous.”
“You need help, and I’m your best friend. That’s what best friends do.”
“Thanks, Grace, I really, really appreciate it.”
“I’m sorry, babe, I shouldn’t have stayed so long, you must be in a lot of pain.”
I squeezed her hand briefly. “It’s been so good to talk to you at last, but I do have a splitting headache, despite the pills, and I think I need to get to bed.” I took a deep breath and looked directly at her. “Don’t tell anyone about this, will you?” I gestured with my good arm towards the bruises. “I really don’t want to have to explain myself to everyone.”
She hesitated for just a fraction of a second before replying. “Sure, whatever you want. You’re going to have to tell people something, though; you aren’t going to be your usual gorgeous self overnight.”
I swivelled around in my chair and looked at myself in the mirror. All the time I had been staring into it before I had been searching for Callum, so I hadn’t taken too much notice of my face. The skin was scraped off my cheekbone, and despite my efforts to clean it earlier a few little bits of grit were still sticking to the torn skin. Nothing was bleeding heavily, but it was beginning to seep and my lip had a large scab on it. I picked up a tissue and pressed it gently to my face, gritting my teeth as I did so. When I peeled it off, I could see that a large bruise was forming lower down my cheek. Grace was right: I looked a mess, and I was going to continue to look a mess for a while.
“I look appalling! I’ll have to say I’m sick tomorrow and give it time to calm down a bit.” A large sigh escaped me before I could catch it, and Grace looked at me sympathetically.
“You’re still going to need a cover story,” she reminded me gently.
“I told the lady next door that I’d been pulled over by the puppy and got my hands too tangled up in the lead to be able to stop myself falling.”
Grace considered that for a moment, pursing her lips and unconsciously highlighting her own perfect cheekbones. “That’ll probably do. You need to make sure that Josh knows the story, too. You don’t want him telling your parents what really happened while they’re still away. Can you imagine what they’d do?”
“No – well, what I mean is, yes, I can. It wouldn’t be good. I’ll make sure he keeps schtum.”
“Good. OK, I’m going to go now. Call me when you feel up to it and I’ll come round; you’re going to need some lessons in camouflage make-up.” She hugged me tightly, inadvertently squeezing my bruised arm and it took all my strength not to cry out in pain.
“Thanks for coming round, Grace,” I finally managed to gasp. “And thank you for listening. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
I heard her talking briefly to Josh before the front door closed, and I sat back on my bed, my head pounding. Glancing at my watch I realised it was time to take another couple of the strong painkillers, but they still only dulled the pain a little. And that was only the physical pain; the pain and anger in my heart were going to be much harder to shift.
My miserable thoughts were suddenly disturbed by my phone erupting into life. I automatically checked the number before I answered, but it had been withheld. I hesitated for another ring, then pressed the green button.
“Hello?” I said firmly.
The now-familiar voice was crystal clear. “I just wanted to congratulate you on your very nifty manoeuvre this afternoon. I mean, really, you ought to be in intensive care right now.”
“And you ought to be in a police cell, Catherine. For attempted murder.”
“But there were no witnesses, sweetie. What a shame.”
“I don’t need witnesses. I have the evidence on my arm where you hit me.”
“Do you really think that you’re ever going to convince anybody that I was responsible? I don’t exactly look like a murderer, do I?”
“Look, I’ve had enough of playing games. That amulet doesn’t belong to you, it belongs to me, and I’m going to get it back.”
“And just how are you going to manage that? You don’t have any idea where I am. For all you know I could be at the other end of the country by now.”
“You’re not though, are you? How could you carry on making my life a misery if you were?”
Her tinkling laugh made the skin on the back of my neck crawl. “Oh, you have no idea, absolutely no idea, how much more miserable I can make you, wherever I am. With a bit of luck you’ll soon be just as miserable as me.”
But before I could ask her what she meant the phone went silent. My heart filled with dread at the warped things she might yet come up with to hurt me. And all the while I couldn’t help imagining Callum trying to reason with her, his brow furrowed in a deep frown, his golden hair unruly, his soft lips pressed together in a hard, thin line.
I knew I shouldn’t torture myself by thinking about Callum, that the important thing was to be concentrating on how to find Catherine, but I couldn’t help myself. I sat at my desk and pulled the mirror towards me, searching every corner of it yet again for a glimpse of him. The ache I felt was gnawing deeper and deeper, and I kept thinking that my wrist was beginning to tingle. But every time I thought it might be OK, that he might have found a way around the problem, that he might be here with me, I realised that I was wrong. I was alone in my room, the silence deafening in my head. Defeated, I laid my head on my desk, trying not to dwell on all the happy conversations we had had in this spot.
Could he hear me, I wondered? Was he watching me right now? I had absolutely no way of knowing. A single tear escaped and ran down my face. I sat up hurriedly, cross with myself. Being maudlin wasn’t going to get my amulet back. I needed to work out a plan for how I was going to track Catherine down, and once I found her, I was going to have to get the amulet off her, whatever the consequences. I had never fought anyone before, but I would fight tooth and nail to get back what was mine. I was going to make Catherine regret the day that she had taken my amulet from me.
Something wasn’t quite right. Richmond was sunny and warm, and everyone seemed to be smiling. I walked across the green, my loose skirt flowing in the breeze. As usual the green was dotted with people enjoying the weather – couples lying intertwined on the grass, mothers with toddlers racing around clutching ice creams, and teenagers gathering together in hordes. Every few minutes a plane roared overhead, but no one took much notice.
I had no plan about where I was going, no destination in mind, I was just walking. As I looked around me I saw a group of familiar faces on the other side of the green, so I veered in that direction. It was a group from my school and the boys’ school next door. Someone had clearly been buying doughnuts; the wreckage of the box was on the grass in the middle of the group. As I got there I peered into it hopefully, but there were just a few sugar strands clinging to the edges. I sighed, and threw myself down on the ground with the others. The conversation was going on in a low hum, and I couldn’t quite catch any of it, but I wasn’t terribly worried. It was lovely lying in the sunshine.
I slowly became conscious that the conversation was changing. It had changed from the low, lazy, background noise to something more charged, as if people were suddenly anticipating something exciting happening. I rolled over and propped myself up on my elbows, looking at what had captured everyone’s attention. Two people were walking together over the grass towards us, but from this distance I couldn’t identify them. The sun was behind them so they were in silhouette, but it didn’t seem to stop anyone else recognising them. The hum o
f conversation became much more excited and every face was turned towards them. It was a tall man and a shorter, willowy girl. They didn’t seem to be talking.
It wasn’t until they were almost on top of us that my eyes were finally able to pick out the familiar features, and I felt my head snap up in shock. Callum was walking towards me, side by side with Catherine. I looked around wildly, but no one seemed to think anything odd was going on. Callum looked gorgeous, with his dark-blonde hair being gently ruffled by the breeze. His penetrating blue eyes fixed on mine. I tried to leap up, to greet him, to hold him tight, but I found my movements were suddenly slow and sluggish. The babble of excited talk finally broke through.
“Catherine! Over here!”
“Catherine, great to see you!”
I looked around wildly at my friends, who were all smiling at Catherine in welcome, gesturing to her to come and sit with them. No one seemed to be taking any notice of Callum. I turned back to look at him and saw his face was serious, stressed. He was staring at me intently, oblivious to everything else that was going on, as if he was willing me to do or say something, something that I didn’t understand. I tried once more to get up and to go to him, but I couldn’t seem to find the energy to move. The babble of noise around me increased again and I turned to watch Catherine being almost mobbed. They were all so pleased to see her!
I turned back to Callum again. He still hadn’t taken his eyes off me, but now his look was urgent, almost pleading.
I tried to speak, to tell him how much I loved him, how much I missed him already, but the words wouldn’t come. I stared at him hopelessly, feeling the tears well up and roll down my cheeks. His mesmerising blue eyes with their flecks of gold flashed briefly in the sunshine, and his hand reached out towards me.
A voice echoed in my head. “Remember, Alex. You must try to remember…”
The alarm erupted next to my ear and I woke with a desperate sense of loss and longing, a sob rising in my throat. My face felt cold, and when I touched my cheek I was surprised to find it was damp; I had been crying in my sleep. The dream swirled around inside my head. Callum had been so close! I wished with all my heart that I could go to Richmond and find him walking over the green. If only my life was that simple. I tried to close my eyes and step back into the dream, to be somewhere close to him, but it was already too late. The outside world was pressing on my consciousness, forcing me to remember. The amulet was gone and my mission was to find it again.