by Joanna Shupe
He was agitated, upset, and she had no wish to hurt him. He’d been kind and real in a world where she had experienced little of either. Clearly he hadn’t received her letter breaking things off, and she needed to do that gently—not in an alley on Sixth Avenue in the cold while her aunt awaited.
She held up her hands. “I’ll explain everything, but not here. Not now. Meet me this afternoon in Central Park. Four o’clock, near the animal menagerie.”
“Fine.” He frowned but did not challenge her. “I’ll be there.”
“As will I, I promise.” She lifted her skirts and hurried to the mouth of the alley.
“You look beautiful, as always,” Robert said behind her.
Guilt sat like a stone in her belly. She did not relish the pending conversation but he deserved to know. “Thank you. Until this afternoon.”
He dipped his chin. “Until this afternoon.”
At four o’clock, Nora waited near the leopard’s cage. Most of the visitors at the Central Park menagerie crowded around the elephant area, so hopefully Robert would have an easier time locating her here. She’d left her maid near the entrance, needing privacy for this conversation.
Dread had permanently taken up residence in her chest. Robert had come all the way from London to see her and now she would be sending him away without so much as a welcoming kiss. Thank you for coming to see me. I’ve fallen in love with another man. Best of luck on your voyage home.
Good Lord, she was a horrible person.
As hard as this would be for Robert—and for her—she could not regret her time with Julius. She loved him, much more deeply than she’d ever cared for Robert. Though the admission made her feel inconstant and flighty, she wouldn’t lie to herself any longer.
Nor would she lie to Robert.
She saw him step out from behind a nearby tree. Hands in his pockets, he approached her, a wary expression on his face. His cheeks were red from the cold. “Hello, Nora.”
“Hello. Any trouble finding me?”
“No, not really. I’ve been here a while.”
She gestured to a nearby seating area. “Shall we sit?”
He nodded and the two of them walked to the wooden bench. When they were settled, she asked, “How long have you been in New York?”
“Long enough to hear about your engagement.”
Had it been in the papers? She hadn’t seen her name linked to Julius anywhere, but how Robert learned of it wasn’t important. “I wrote to you about everything but you obviously never received my letter.”
“Why don’t you tell me now?”
“Robert . . .” How could she even begin? There was so much to say.
“You’re in love with him, aren’t you?”
She squeezed her eyes closed, absorbing the hurt she heard in his voice. “Yes,” she answered quietly.
Robert put his elbows on his knees and dropped his head into his hands. “I cannot believe this. You said your father was sending you away to find a husband but you swore you loved me, that you would return to London. And now you’re in love with this . . . this tycoon?”
“I didn’t intend for it to happen. My goal was always to return to you. I convinced Mr. Hatcher to pose as my fiancé, knowing my father would never approve of Mr. Hatcher’s reputation. However, we began spending time together and affection developed. I neither planned for it nor encouraged it. The feelings just happened.”
“Feelings do not just happen,” he snapped, his tortured gaze locking with hers. “All that time you were writing to me, telling me how much you missed me? Those were all lies, weren’t they?”
“No, I never said anything I did not mean—and once I realized the depth of my feelings for him I wrote to you and broke things off. I never wanted to hurt you.”
“You broke things off? Oh, of course. I see now. You wrote it in a letter that would take weeks to reach me, while you gallivant around New York with your beau. How convenient for you.” His voice dripped acid, a bitter, hateful tone that she’d never heard from his mouth before.
“Robert, I know you are shocked and hurt, but none of this is convenient for me. This has been agonizing.”
“Indeed, I’ve no doubt.” His tone suggested he did not believe her. “Have you kissed him?”
She had no intention of wounding him further by admitting the truth. “It hardly matters—”
“It matters to me. It matters a great deal. We promised each other that we would marry, have children, grow old together. How could you say those things and then kiss another man?”
Hadn’t she wondered the very same thing? Unmarried women in her world were supposed to wait for their wedding night before even kissing, let alone engaging in any other intimacies. While she had never expected to wait that long, she hadn’t thought there would be two men in her past.
And while her future with Julius was uncertain, she knew she didn’t love Robert any longer.
“It just happened,” she explained quietly. “I never expected to love anyone other than you but circumstances change. People change.”
His brows shot up. “You are saying you have changed?”
“Yes, I believe I have.”
He let out a bitter laugh. “I suppose if you’re attracted to that audacious house and all his money, then you are definitely not the person I loved. The woman I loved would have laughed at Julius Hatcher and his ridiculous moat instead of following him around to dinners and the stock exchange.”
She gasped. How did he know all that? “Have you been following me? God above, it was you at the stock exchange. Did you . . . did you write the note telling them I was inside?”
He shot to his feet and stared down at her, his limbs vibrating with fury. “Can you blame me? I traveled here to be with you. Your father came to see me and offered me money to stay away from you. He tried to buy me off, but I refused to take his blood money—money he’s made off the backs of simpler men who had the terrible misfortune of being born without a title.”
“He offered you money?” She hadn’t thought her father capable of such deviousness, and the knowledge hurt.
“Yes, a lot of money. More money than I’ll likely see anytime soon. And I turned it down for you, Nora. Because I love you and I want to marry you someday.”
Emotion cracked his voice and the sound had tears building behind her lids. Her father and Julius both had accused Robert of being a fortune hunter, but Nora knew better. His feelings were genuine. Which made this conversation all the more difficult.
“Robert, I’m terribly—”
“This is where you tell me you’re sorry?” he scoffed, kicking a rock angrily with his boot. “That is little consolation when I’ve come all this way and poured my heart out. ‘Thanks for coming, old Robbie. Now totter home and try to forget me.’”
“It isn’t like that at all. But I cannot change the way I feel—and I do not love you anymore.”
“You fucked him, didn’t you?”
Nora flinched at both the crude word and the vitriol behind it. “You overstep yourself,” she said. “While I wish things hadn’t worked out this way, we’re through. I do not want to see you ever again.”
Julius hadn’t been to the menagerie in ages. All different kinds of animals were kept in this “zoo” in Central Park, like elephants, leopards, birds, camels, and more. Hordes of visitors gathered here to glimpse the exotic beasts each day. Julius skirted the edge of the crowds, searching for one particular person in the masses.
He’d come to pay Nora an afternoon call, only to find her out and about. According to Beatrice Cortland, Nora had wandered to the park today with her maid to see the menagerie. With the exchange already closed for the day, Julius had no excuse not to join her in the excursion. After all, there were plenty of secluded spots in Central Park perfect for an intimate encounter.
Smiling to himself, he craned his head back and forth, eagerly looking for her. He hoped she hadn’t wandered into the park itself because he’d never find her
then.
He caught sight of a young man near the leopard cage, waving his arms around dramatically and shouting at a woman on a bench—
Julius’s feet stopped working. Damn it, that was Nora sitting on the bench. And just who in God’s name was shouting at her? Fire ignited in his gut, blood pumping, and he hurried toward the bench. “Ho, now! What seems to be the problem?” he called out.
Nora’s troubled gaze met his a second before the young man spun around. Julius didn’t recognize him and his plain clothing did not identify him as well off.
“Julius!” Nora exclaimed.
“You,” the young man snarled at the same time—right before he took a swing at Julius’s face.
Julius sidestepped the blow, grabbed the man’s arm, and yanked it behind his back. “You do not want to do that,” he snarled in the other man’s ear. “Now, if I let you go, you’d best not speak one cross word to my fiancée.”
With a roar of rage, the young man ripped out of Julius’s grip and staggered a few steps. Nora was on her feet, her hand covering her mouth. “Julius, do not hurt him.”
“You think he could hurt me?” the other man snarled. “This overly dressed, pompous—”
“That is enough,” Julius cut in, his voice terse. “Who are you?” Then it hit him. The irrational anger, the English accent, the almost pretty features . . . Holy Christ. “You’re Robert.”
“Oh, so she’s told you about me, has she?” He laughed, a broken, angry sound. “Allow me to guess. The two of you have read my letters together in bed, had a good laugh over my regard for Nora.”
“Absolutely not,” Nora insisted, indignant. “I would never do that to you.”
“Yes, well you also promised never to love anyone but me. And look where that got us. You now love him.” He gestured toward Julius.
Love? Julius nearly laughed. He and Nora were undoubtedly attracted to one another. Fond, certainly. But love? No, she didn’t love him. She was an earl’s daughter, a woman who could have her pick of husbands. Why would she settle on him, a man who had no intention of marrying and saddling himself with a wife and family?
Nora deserved better.
Better than him—and certainly better than the inexperienced fool Robert.
But Robert’s presence here in New York surprised Julius. How long had the young man been here? More important, why? Nora had broken things off with him, she’d said, but it seemed Robert was not ready to let her go.
Too fucking bad.
“Did I not tell you to speak to my fiancée with respect?” he warned the young man, stepping closer. “You had best be careful.”
“Or what?” the artist snarled. “You shall pummel me? If you try, I should warn you—I don’t come from a fancy neighborhood with champagne and caviar. I’m no stranger to using my fists.”
Julius crossed his arms over his chest. “Unfortunately for you, I also did not always live in a fancy neighborhood. I grew up in much different circumstances, a place where fighting on the streets was a regular occurrence.”
“Oh, for heaven’s sake. Enough!” Nora stepped between them. “No one shall be pummeling anyone else. Robert, I’ve told you how I feel and I’m sorry you’ve traveled all this way for nothing. But my mind is made up.”
Robert’s anger dissipated, sorrow and devastation sweeping over his face before he masked it. He drew himself up, proudly. “I wish you luck, then. If you change your mind, I am staying at a rooming house on Thirty-Third Street and Lexington Avenue.”
Nora nodded in acknowledgment, not speaking.
Robert started to turn, then stopped. “One more thing. I know it doesn’t mean much because you have moved on but I love you, Nora. And the woman I love would never be so cavalier with her affections. She never would have allowed a large fortune to turn her head. So perhaps you really have changed—and from what I see, not for the better.” He stomped toward the exit, lost in the sea of tourists out on a cold winter’s day.
A shaky breath caught Julius’s attention and his gaze swung toward Nora. Eyes glistening, her lower lip trembled. The sight nearly knocked him to his knees. He hadn’t seen her so sad before and it tore at his insides. “Nora,” he said, leading her behind the animal enclosures to gain some privacy. “Tell me you are not upset by what he said. About you changing.”
“No, he’s right,” she said, two fat tears breaking free and rolling down her cheeks. Julius dug into his coat and withdrew a clean handkerchief. She accepted it and blotted her eyes. “I have changed.”
“That’s not always a terrible thing. From what I see, you would have been miserable with him.”
“Your preternatural ability to see trends and predict the future?”
He stroked her jaw with the backs of his knuckles, eager to touch her. To soothe her. “No. Even a fool could see he’s not right for you. You need someone to challenge you, to be your equal in all things. Furthermore, for all his bluster today, Robert still left.”
“As if he had a choice. You were threatening to fight him.”
“And he should have fought me. Instead, he took one swing and missed. If he were the man you deserved, he would still be fighting for you.”
“We British are not as hotheaded as you Americans. He fought but in his own way.” She pinched the bridge of her nose while inhaling deeply, trying to get herself under control. “He’s been following me. He knew about our outing to the stock exchange.”
“What?”
“Yes. He found me today on Sixth Avenue. I should have known then that it wasn’t a coincidence bumping into him.”
The idea of Nora being followed, even by Robert, disturbed Julius. How closely had the artist been watching her? Had he observed Nora sneaking into Julius’s home last night? If so, that information could be used against them. Her guardians would be furious if rumors circulated. “At least we know who wrote to Hutchinson to tell him I had a woman in my office at the exchange.”
“You think Robert responsible?”
“Without doubt. Who else would possibly want to hurt us both?”
“How can this be happening? It’s like I don’t even know him. The things he said . . .” She sighed, as defeated as he’d ever seen her. He hated witnessing her anguish.
Grasping her hands, he threaded their gloved fingers together. “We all change based on our daily experiences, like stocks that go up and down based on perceived worth. Nothing remains constant—and that’s a good thing. For example, I never know what you might say or do next and that is a very intriguing quality.”
“Inconsistent, you mean?”
“No, more like paradoxical, endlessly fascinating.”
“You and your puzzles.”
He couldn’t help but smile at that. He liked that she knew him so well. “Robert’s wrong about one thing, however.”
She pulled her hands out of his grasp and wrapped them around her waist. “About my cavalier feelings?”
“Yes. Your decisions haven’t been made lightly. Furthermore, he knows nothing of our new arrangement.”
Wariness crept into her expression. “Our new arrangement,” she said flatly.
“Yes. We have a few more weeks together. It’s not as if either of us has made promises or expects anything more.”
“Indeed. Merely something that needs to be worked out of our systems.”
He hadn’t heard her use that flat tone of voice before but he plodded on, nodding. “Exactly. We both know this cannot go any further. But I’m definitely looking forward to these remaining five weeks. Having you again is all I can think about today.”
Color rose on her cheeks that had nothing to do with the cold. She glanced around, even though they were definitely alone, then let out a long breath. “I don’t believe I’m the type of woman who is able to carry on a casual affair and then walk away—mostly because this no longer feels casual to me.”
The weight of that statement recalled Robert’s earlier words. He had to ask, “Did you tell Robert you loved me
?”
Her gaze remained steady. “I did, which I realize is inconvenient to everyone involved, but there it is.”
“I . . .” He had no idea how to respond. Words failed him, the puzzle pieces scattered all over the ground. Everything was shifting, unraveling, in this very moment, yet he was powerless to stop it. The leopard roared nearby—a wild, fittingly angry sound to fill the silence. Julius felt a bit like howling himself.
Tripp had warned him this would happen but Julius had been too stubborn, convinced Nora couldn’t fall for someone like him. He thought they were clear on the arrangement and their expectations. She knew he’d sworn never to bear the responsibility of a wife and family, that he’d never carry the burden of failure for the rest of his life. So how had this come to pass?
Nora stared at him, awaiting a reaction, but he had none. Her honesty humbled him. Fearless and stubborn, beautiful and strong, she was unlike any other woman—and he was utterly unworthy of her. “I don’t know what to say,” he offered, lamely. Her eyes dimmed significantly and he knew he’d disappointed her.
“I cannot say I’m surprised,” she said. “I hadn’t intended for you to find out, but perhaps this is for the best. We began honestly and now we may end honestly.”
His stomach dropped somewhere to his toes. “What do you mean, end? We agreed on—”
“Yes, I’m aware we agreed upon five more weeks. But like you said, people change. Circumstances change. I cannot pretend I do not want more and your feelings on the matter have been made perfectly clear.” She shivered and rubbed her arms, tendrils of her brown hair blowing around her lovely face. “I am releasing you from our arrangement.”
He hadn’t expected her to say it, and the words hurt more than he’d imagined. Memories of last night mocked him, the knowledge that he’d never touch her again. Never kiss her. Never feel her silky skin whisper over his own. He thrust his hands in his pockets to keep from reaching for her. “What if I do not wish to be released?”
“Then I do apologize for your disappointment. Good-bye, Julius.”