“I just stopped to rest the horses and to let Ada know a horse hauler will be here Saturday to pick up Oscar. I’ll be heading into town after I speak to Mary. If that’s okay?”
The men were staring daggers at each other. Mary’s confusion grew. “Of course you can speak to me, Joshua. What’s going on?”
His expression grew puzzled. “I wasn’t sure you would want to see me after the things Nick told you about me.”
“Things? What things? Nick, what’s he talking about?” Something was going on, and she had no clue what it was. She didn’t like the feeling. She put Hannah down. “Run inside and tell Ada to put on some tea, will you, dear?”
“Sure.” Hannah dashed away.
Mary glanced at Joshua and saw confusion in his eyes. He was staring at Nick. “You didn’t tell her.”
“I thought I would leave that up to you if you had the courage to come back.”
Mary fisted her hands on her hips. “Someone had better tell me what’s going on?”
Nick looked down at the ground. “Don’t make me regret this, Joshua. She is a pearl beyond price and more dear to me than my life. I don’t know what I would do if anyone hurt her.” He kissed Mary’s cheek and walked to his vehicle.
He opened the door, but paused and looked back at Joshua. “I arrested a couple of guys on suspicion of burglary yesterday. We got a tip from Pastor Finzer about where they were staying. He said you had seen something suspicious. I appreciate it when citizens look out for each other. It makes my job easier.” He got in and drove away.
Joshua looked ready to fall down. Mary rushed to his side. “Are you okay?”
“I believe I would like that tea now. I have a few things to tell you, Mary, and Ada should hear them too.”
“Finally. Come inside.” She took his arm and led him toward the house.
When they were settled in the kitchen, Mary sent Hannah to play in the other room. Ada glanced back and forth between Mary and Joshua without comment.
He drew a deep breath. “The reason I had to get home was so that I could meet with my parole officer.”
Mary sucked in a sharp breath. Of all the things she expected him to say, this wasn’t among them. Ada frowned. “What is a parole officer?”
Joshua gave her a lopsided smile. “He watches over people who have been released from prison early to make sure they are walking the straight and narrow.”
Ada’s mouth fell open. “You were in prison?”
Mary was equally stunned. “Why?”
“Do you remember me telling you about my brother? The one who left the Amish.”
Mary nodded. “His name is Luke.”
“Luke had been in and out of trouble for a while. His first arrest for drugs nearly broke my mother’s heart. He went to jail and we thought when he got out that he would come home. But he didn’t. My parents believed that he was lost to us. I couldn’t accept that.”
“Of course not. You love him,” Mary said softly.
“I went to see him. I went to try and convince him to come home. He had gone from using drugs to making and selling them. I couldn’t make him see how much he was hurting everyone. I couldn’t get through to him. After two days, I gave up. Before I could leave, there was a drug raid. Luke had sold meth to an undercover cop. I was there when it happened. I wasn’t making drugs. I wasn’t using drugs. I wasn’t selling drugs, but that didn’t matter to the men who arrested us. The house was across the street from a school. I don’t know how my brother could have been so stupid.”
“Why would being near a school make a difference?” Ada asked.
“The penalty for endangering children is much higher.”
Kevin had always made sure he stayed far away from them when he was selling drugs. Mary looked at Joshua. “Didn’t your brother tell them you were innocent?”
“He did but no one believed him. No one believed me. The district attorney was eager to get a double conviction. One of the women Luke supplied was arrested on another charge. In exchange for a lower sentence, she testified that I had been helping Luke for months.” He took a sip of his tea.
“She lied?” Ada stared at him in disbelief.
He set down his mug. “Drugs are a powerful and evil master.”
Mary leaned toward him. “Why didn’t you tell me this to begin with?”
“If you remember, you were trapped in a cellar with a total stranger and you were scared to death.”
“And later? When we got out of the cellar?”
He stared into his tea as if it contained some important information. Suddenly, she knew the answer to her own question. “Nick.”
Joshua nodded. “It seemed the wisest course was to keep silent. I wasn’t sure if I had violated my parole by coming here. I was sure Nick wouldn’t like the idea of a convict staying with you.”
“He found out and that’s why you left early.”
“It was Nick’s...suggestion.”
Ada sighed and gave him a bright smile. “Well, you are back now and things are as they should be. I’ll get fresh sheets for your bed.”
Joshua shook his head. “There’s no need. I won’t be staying here. I’ll come by to visit often, but I’m going to stay in town.”
Mary reached across the table and laid a hand on his arm. “You can stay with us. I can handle Nick.”
* * *
Joshua could barely believe the blessings the Lord had bestowed on him. Nick had not turned Mary against him. Joshua was guilty of misjudging the man. Mary and Ada accepted his explanation and were still willing to open their home to him. It was more than he had dared hope for. Until now, he’d cared for Mary and valued her friendship, but seeing the determination in her blue eyes sent a rush of deeper emotion through his chest. He was in love with her. It didn’t matter that he hadn’t known her long. He wanted to spend a lifetime getting to know her, earning her trust, providing for her and caring for her for the rest of his days.
That was his goal, but he knew he had to start with small steps. She liked him, but Ada had warned him that Mary grew to trust people slowly. “I’m sure you can handle Nick, but I don’t want to cause friction between you. I would love to stay, but it’s best if I go on into town. Besides, my parole officer will be checking in with me at the Wadler Inn.”
He loved that she looked disappointed. “Okay, but you are staying for supper tonight.”
“I can’t, but I will be back tomorrow morning to do the chores and to finish fixing your corncribs, Ada. After that, I’ll be working in town. But first, I have to deliver this lumber to your bishop’s home before dark.”
Mary pulled her hand away. “Your family’s contribution is most generous.”
He wanted to be alone with her. To show her how much he had missed her. He rose to his feet. “I should go check on my team. How is Oscar getting along?”
Mary shot to her feet with her hands clenched in her apron. “I was just going to change his dressing.”
Ada smiled. “I thought you did that this morning?”
Mary blushed. “Did I? That’s right, and I felt the drainage was worse, so I was going to check it again. Joshua, why don’t you take a look and tell me what you think. It’s your decision if we need to call the vet.”
“Sure. I’ll take a look at him.” He followed Mary to the door.
Ada chuckled. “That’s going to be the most pampered horse that has ever lived in my barn.”
Joshua made a pretense of checking over his team before he entered the barn. As soon as Mary came in behind him, he held out his hands. “I missed you so much.”
She took his hands and squeezed them. “I missed you, too. I was so afraid I would never see you again.”
He drew her into his embrace. She rested her cheek against his chest. For a long time, they
simply held each other. He had never known such happiness. Unfortunately, he couldn’t hold her forever. He lifted her chin and brushed a kiss lightly across her lips. “As much as I want to stay, I had better get on the road. I don’t want to be driving my big wagon after dark.”
“Promise me you won’t vanish again without telling me where you’re going.”
“That’s an easy promise to make.”
“Thank you for your honesty in the house. I should be honest with you in return. There are things about me that you need to hear.”
“They won’t change how I feel about you.”
“You won’t know that until I’m finished.”
Hannah came through the barn door. He and Mary quickly stepped apart. “Mammi wants to know how Oscar is.”
He shared a knowing smile with Mary. “Mammi wants to make sure we are behaving ourselves.” He tweaked Hannah’s nose. “Oscar is fine. You have been taking good care of him. I missed you.”
“I missed you, too. Mammi says we’re going to have a picnic at the lake tomorrow for Mamm’s birthday.” She hopped up and down with excitement.
“That sounds wunderbar. I’m sure you’ll have a good time.”
“You can come with us.” Hannah clapped her hands.
“Happy birthday, Mary. That’s awful nice of you to invite me, Hannah, but I think the picnic is just for your family.”
“Nonsense,” Ada said as she came into the barn. “I expect you to join us. We aren’t leaving without you. Not after all the work you have done in this community. There will be several families there, not just ours.”
“Please say you’ll come,” Hannah begged.
“I don’t see how I can refuse such a kind invitation.” He caught Mary’s eye. Maybe he could find some time alone with her.
She looked away first. “You don’t have to come if you would rather do something else.”
“I can’t think of anything I’d rather do than go on a picnic with you. I’d love to take a long stroll around the lake.”
Ada laughed. Mary didn’t smile.
When Ada and Hannah left the barn, Joshua took Mary’s hand again. “I’m listening now. What did you want to tell me?”
She stepped away from him. “It can wait until tomorrow. You should leave before it gets too late.”
“I’m not in a hurry, Mary.”
“Tomorrow. We’ll talk tomorrow.” She hurried out of the barn, leaving him puzzled.
Was she that worried about what she had to tell him? What could be so bad?
Chapter Thirteen
On Saturday morning, Joshua picked up Mary, Hannah, Ada and Bella for the short wagon ride to the Shetler farm. Mary sat quietly beside him. He’d spent the night wondering what she needed to tell him, determined to convince her it didn’t matter. He hoped he wouldn’t have to wait long to get her alone.
At the Shetler farm, they joined Joe and Naomi Shetler, along with all the Barkman sisters and their husbands and children on the shore of a small lake in Joe’s pasture. The green hillsides around the lake were dotted with white sheep and playful lambs. After helping Mary and Ada out of their buggy, Joshua joined the men standing in the shade of a tall oak tree. Hannah and several of the children ran to the water’s edge and threw a stick for Bella. The Lab raced in, splashing the children urging her on. When she came out, she put the stick down and shook from head to tail. While she was busy, a large black-and-white sheepdog darted in and stole the stick and the chase was on.
Mary produced a bottle of soap and some wands and the children were soon blowing bubbles. The dogs gave up chasing each other and launched themselves at the orbs floating in the air. The other women, chatting and bustling about, were busy setting out the quilts and chairs and arranging the food on the tailgate of Joe’s wagon.
Joe stroked his gray beard. “I’ve learned it’s best to stay out of their way until they tell us it’s ready.”
Joshua surveyed the lake. “Is the fishing any good here?”
Nodding, Joe gestured toward the north end. “There’s some mighty good fishing all along this side. Would you like a pole? I have several extras.”
“I might take you up on that later.” Joshua was watching Mary laughing with the children. It was good to see her so carefree.
“After you’ve had time to walk out with Mary, you mean.” Joe chuckled.
Joshua gave him a wry smile. “Am I that obvious?”
“You forget that I’ve had a houseful of granddaughters all finding mates in the last two years. I know the look of a man who is smitten. Alvin and Betsy are slipping away now. You should take Mary in the other direction.”
“I will. Speaking of granddaughters, I’ve been meaning to ask if you’re related to a girl named Mary Shetler?”
“I’ve no relative named Mary. Why do you ask?”
“My brother knows an Englisch fellow who is looking for a girl by that name. Apparently, she was an old girlfriend. He thought he saw her on the television here in Hope Springs helping after the tornado.”
“I’m the only Shetler in this community, but there are plenty of them over by New Philadelphia, although they are only distantly related to me. Maybe she’s from one of those families. Mary is a common name. I don’t know how to help you find her.”
“New Philadelphia. I’ll let my brother know.”
“If she is Amish and left this Englisch fellow, it may be best that he not find her.”
“I’ve thought of that, but they had a child together that he never met. A man should know his child.”
“Perhaps this woman had a good reason for leaving him.”
“Perhaps. Danki, Joe.” Joshua saw Clara had taken over supervising the children. Mary was strolling toward the water’s edge. He left Joe chuckling behind him and went to join her.
She smiled shyly when he stopped beside her. He gazed out over the lake. Fleecy white clouds in the blue sky floated above their flawless reflections in the water, as if the beauty was too great for the heavens to hold. “This is a pretty place, don’t you think?”
“Ja, it’s peaceful here.” She began walking and he fell into step beside her. He could tell she was nervous.
They strolled for a while until a bend in the shoreline took them out of view of the others.
He found a fallen log beside a blooming dogwood tree and sat down. Mary joined him.
He glanced at her sitting beside him. He wanted to kiss her more than he wanted anything else in his life. He wanted the right to hold her in his arms. In the depths of his heart, he believed she was the woman God had fashioned for him alone. It didn’t matter that he wasn’t her first love. It only mattered that she loved him now. He took her hand. It was small and soft and it fit his perfectly. “Mary, I have come to care deeply for you. I need to know that you feel the same.”
She pulled her hand away and stood. “There are things I need to tell you before you say more. You aren’t going to like hearing them.”
He tried to take her hand again, but she pushed away. “Please, don’t touch me. If you do, I may falter.”
“I’m sorry. Mary, I don’t know why you are afraid of me. I would never hurt you. Nothing you can say will change my feelings for you.”
* * *
Mary wanted so much to confide in him, but she was scared. Scared it would matter. “I’m not afraid of you, Joshua. I’m afraid of the way I feel when I’m with you.”
He took her hand and squeezed gently. “And how is that?”
“I feel like there might be a chance for me. A chance at happiness.”
“That’s how you make me feel. Why does that scare you? You deserve happiness.”
“I’m afraid I’ll reach for it and it will burst like one of Hannah’s soap bubbles on the grass.”
“There’s more to it, isn’t there? Is it me? Do you think I won’t be back the next time I have to leave?”
“Maybe. I’m not sure.”
“Why would you think that?”
“Because it has happened to me before. Hannah’s father left me. The next man who took me in betrayed me, too. I’ve been with more than one man. I was never married, Joshua. Hannah is an illegitimate child.”
“I know that.”
Mary frowned. “You do? How could you know this?”
“Delbert mentioned it the first day I met him. I asked him if he knew your husband and he said he didn’t think you’d ever been married but he didn’t hold that against you. It is a grave matter, but it is in the past. We will never mention it again. I love you and I love Hannah.”
“You’ve known since then?” A sob escaped her and suddenly she was crying as she hadn’t cried in years. She had been so afraid and all this time he knew.
“Don’t cry. It doesn’t matter. I love Hannah. She is the daughter of my heart.” Joshua drew Mary into his embrace and held her. He gave her his handkerchief and she cried until she didn’t have any tears left.
When she grew calm, he knelt in front of her. She dried her eyes and blew her nose.
“Are you okay now?” he asked.
She had a headache and her eyes were burning as if they were full of sand, but she ignored those minor discomforts. “I’m better than I have been in a long time.”
“If you are ready to go back, I’m sure they have a birthday cake for you.”
“Nee, stay. I’m ready to tell you what happened.”
“You don’t have to do that.”
“I do. I want you to understand what I was going through when I made some horrible decisions.”
He took a seat on the tree trunk beside her. “Okay, I’m listening.”
She gazed up into the beautiful sky and prayed for courage. “My father died when I was only six. I vaguely remember him. My mother remarried when I was ten. My stepfather was a good man, but he wasn’t an affectionate man. He needed a wife to help him raise four sons and my mother fit the bill. I was an extra mouth to feed. My mother died in a buggy accident four years later. My stepfather didn’t waste time remarrying. I never felt like I was part of the family after that.”
Amish Redemption Page 16