Buck didn’t need this. He paid the man a lot of money to take care of these kinds of things. “So, deal with it. Isn’t that your job?”
“Well, yeah, and I’ve been getting ready for them, and that’s what I wanted to tell you. I called down to the Caymans to make sure everything down there was buttoned up so the IRS couldn’t touch any of those funds, and the bank manager said you didn’t have any accounts with them anymore. I wanted to tell you that with the IRS sniffing around this, this is like the worst time to be moving money around like that – and you better be damn careful.”
Buck didn’t move, didn’t even blink. He just tilted his head to the side a little.
“What do you mean I don’t have any accounts with them anymore?”
“They said you closed out the accounts last night. Transferred the whole five million.”
Buck’s cell phone rang. He slowly re-holstered his gun with his head full of mind-numbing questions and took the call. The lawyer decided to take the opportunity to pull out his own phone and check messages.
A few minutes later Buck had gone completely numb. His eyes were glazed when he punched off the phone and let it fall to the ground. A small dog picked the phone up in its mouth, lifted a leg, and peed on Buck’s new jeans before running away with the phone. Buck didn’t seem to notice, he just stood there staring into the distance. The attorney in the bad possum costume put away his own phone and looked at his client.
“Bad news, Buck?”
“That was…That was Mr. Blackstone. He just wanted to thank me for typing with one finger, says it made it a lot easier for him to get my Cayman’s accounts passwords.”
“Uh, is this the same Mr. Blackstone you told me you were going to make a killing off of by selling him land for a new Wal-Mart?”
“Yeah, that’s the one. Guess there never was going to be a Wal-Mart.” A single tear ran down Buck’s cheek. “He did say I could keep the pearl, though, and he’d send me a postcard when he got back to Russia.”
They heard a loud car horn and looked towards the road in time to see a black stretch limo pass by. Buck looked at his burning truck and then back at the limo disappearing into the distance with a hand waving from one of the windows.
“Well, that’s a tough break, Buck. I guess, since the IRS is likely going to get what little equity you’ve got in the ranch and that South American business venture, you won’t be able to afford an attorney anymore.” The lawyer patted his cell phone. “Don’t worry about me, though. I just got a message from one of the local businessmen wanting to hire me to sue someone. Seems during that parade earlier some idiot’s bull got loose and destroyed his china shop. Said the only thing he was able to salvage was the security camera with some good footage of the brand on the bull.”
The lawyer slapped Buck on the back and bid him farewell before slipping into the happy throng of Possum Gras revelers.
Buck just stood there, again watching his burning truck. Some firemen had shown up and were holding long sticks to the fire, roasting hotdogs and marshmallows. Buck’s stunned mind locked on something.
“This place. I bought Doc’s house and forty acres, and paid cash. This is mine, free and clear!”
The shock of the day’s events left Buck feeling like he was in a dream state as he limped through the hundreds of people thoroughly enjoying the carnival atmosphere of Possum Gras. He followed the sound of weak groaning and found several of his bruised and battered cowboys inside a large garbage dumpster.
Then Buck came upon a small crowd huddled around something behind the house. He made his way through the crowd for a look. The newspaper reporter was taking pictures of a rusty yellow drum covered with warning symbols lying in a large hole in the ground. Buck got closer for a look and the reporter took a picture of him, the drum, and the house in the background.
Buck felt a strong hand grab his shoulder – the sheriff.
“Howdy, Buck. I hear tell you own this place now?”
Buck was surprised to see the sheriff back already from his latest fact-finding trip to Acapulco. The sheriff was working on a small bowl of Possum Surprise, as was Deputy Raddick standing behind him. Buck slowly nodded, but didn’t say anything as the sheriff looked down in the hole.
“Buck, you know you ain’t allowed to have no toxic waste dumps in Possum County. Normally I’d have to take some action here, but seeing as how it’s Possum Gras, I reckon we can make an exception and wait ‘til tomorrow to quarantine this whole place and put you in jail. Oh, and speaking of jail, Mayor Burke told me a few minutes ago he plans to press charges on you for poisoning him.”
∨ Possum Surprise ∧
46
Ride
It was already dark by the time Buck was able to hitch a ride home. He’d staggered like a zombie to the road in front of the Gras and put his thumb out. Dozens of cars passed him by before an old pickup stopped.
Taco Bob and One-Eyed Pete were standing by the food booths holding toothpicks and having an after-dinner short one. They saw Buck slowly climb into the pickup.
“See there, Pete. I told you if we were patient and let nature take its course that everything would work itself out.”
Pete put a cigarette in his mouth and checked his pockets, then snapped his fingers at a small person dressed as a possum. The possum came over and handed Pete a lighter and mumbled something before walking off towards the dumpsters. Pete lit his cigarette and took a long, contemplative draw.
“I reckon you’re right again, T.B.” Pete put the lighter in his pocket and glanced in the direction of the smoldering remains of Buck’s truck.
Taco Bob watched the pickup Buck had gotten into as it went down the road. The floodlights were on in Doc’s yard now and Possum Gras was winding down.
“Well, Pete, I reckon the men all had a good time.”
“I know Horse sure did. Man won the burrito-eating contest, then worked up enough of an appetite in the big fight to win the pie-eating contest, too.”
“Well, I’m proud for him.” Taco Bob took a small sip from his glass. “Sorry I missed the fight. I’m just glad Hazel wasn’t hurt bad. How’s he doing?”
“Last I seen of him, Nurse Monia had him bandaged up and said she was taking him over to her place so he could lay down for a spell.”
The two men looked at each other and grinned. Taco Bob shook his head, still smiling.
“Pete, you seen Doc?”
“Not for a while. Wait, here he comes now.”
Doc rolled up on the two possum ranchers. “Helluva party, eh, boys?”
“You got that right, Doc. Pete was just telling me Hazel left with Nurse Monia.”
Doc lit up a grin of his own. “You two might be interested to know I was over at Dottie’s just now.” Doc blushed a little. “Uh, I was just checking the weather forecast.” The two ranchers nodded knowingly and managed not to grin. “The weather boys on TV have their panties all in a knot over the forecast for the next few weeks. Sounds like there’s some unsettled weather coming, and since Pedro’s cousin the building contractor says it’s going to be a few weeks before he can start on my new house, I figure this would be a good opportunity to take some time off for a little vacation.”
Pete saw a young lady he said looked like she needed some attention and excused himself, but Taco Bob wanted to know about Doc’s vacation plans.
“Oh, nothing special. Dot and I are just going to fly to Miami, rent a convertible, then drive down through the Keys – maybe stay in Key West for a while.”
“Well, that sounds like a great idea, Doc. I’ve heard it’s really pretty down there.”
“Yeah, I’m looking forward to spending some time in Key West, and so is Dot. Speaking of Dottie, she asked me to check if there’s any of that Possum Surprise left?”
“Hop said he was saving some for me, but I can get some the next batch. Tell Hop I said it’s all right for him to give you mine.”
Doc was all smiles. “You’re a good man, Taco Bob
.” Doc gave his friend a hearty handshake and started off, then stopped. He pulled an old book out of his back pocket. “Taco, you’re always telling me about having weird dreams. I found this book by my back door earlier, looks like something you might enjoy.”
Taco Bob took the offered worn paperback book. “Thanks, Doc. I’ll give it a try later on.”
They shook hands again and said their goodbyes before Doc went looking for Hop. Taco Bob walked closer to the light so he could read the book’s title: Dreaming for the Easily Led.
∨ Possum Surprise ∧
47
Buck
Buck was still in a daze as he got in the old pickup. While the truck picked up speed, he didn’t say anything to the driver, didn’t even look over. He just wanted to get back to the ranch, slap Maria around some, and maybe fire her. Then take a long, warm bath, sit down with a bottle of whiskey, and sort things out – come up with a plan.
“Hey, you, Buck Kracker.”
Buck looked over now, but it was too dark to see the driver’s face. It wasn’t too dark, though, to see it was a big knife the man was suddenly pressing against his neck.
“Drop the gun out the window.”
Buck complied, then noticed the plastic bag on the dashboard. The man took a handful of dark powder out of the bag and ate it. The stuff smelled like the steak seasonings he’d gotten from Pedro. What did he call it? Datura?
The truck was really moving now, heading out into the Badlands. Buck was sweating buckets and wondered how the man could still steer the truck while eating handfuls of the stuff out of the bag and holding a knife to Buck’s neck. He didn’t think about it long, though. The headlights from an oncoming car lit up the inside of the truck long enough for Buck to see the wild, insane eyes and manically grinning face of Humberto.
∨ Possum Surprise ∧
48
The old man and the young girl had silently watched the sunset from a hill overlooking the town’s big party. The old Indian saw the cowboy man get in an old truck and felt that soon the town would once again be peaceful, and remain unchanged.
The little one’s ankle was nearly healed. During the last few days she had asked many questions, and he was surprised at how many of the questions he had answers for. He had experienced many things in his long life. For years he’d felt he was waiting for something, and it had troubled him. But now he knew he’d been waiting for someone like the little one to ask him questions.
The girl wanted to call him Grandfather and he didn’t mind. The two stood together as the stars came out and the last of the day’s light faded in the west. The old man howled once – long and strong. The girl tried, but it was a short and uncertain howl. But no matter – she was so very young and had plenty of time to learn.
EOF
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