Even though I could still taste the liquor on his tongue, I cared less about it. It was very apparent that he being responsible had given me an extra bout of confidence. I felt like he was a good guy, and maybe, just possibly he’d want to see me again after this was all over. Seth could be my way in with improving my social life.
This one-night-stand had serious potential.
Being with a stranger, even if we’d talked for several hours before, had me worried. I’d never done this, albeit that casual sex was something that happened quite frequently with people my age. Maybe if I hadn’t been raised by my church-going, ten-commandment, abiding parents I’d have different morals. There again, my sister didn’t seem to have my struggles with fitting in and breaking rules, nor did my older brother Noah. Their free spirits made me envious, which was yet another reason why I was allowing this encounter to take place.
As our kissing intensified, Seth’s hands explored my body. He’d already spent enough time between my legs that I felt more comfortable being naked in bed with him. I ran my fingers down his back as he sat up to apply protection. The crackle of the wrapper was another reminder of what was about to happen. When he turned to face me our eyes met. I wouldn’t call it a cosmic connection, but I absolutely knew we were both on the same page. My buzz had eased the nerves leaving me ready and willing.
Seth started out on top of me, entering me with ease. I was already so wet between my legs that we didn’t need any more foreplay. My muscles were contracting in all of the right places each time he coursed in and out of me. He leaned forward to kiss me several times, and I found it reassuring to know that he cared enough to make sure that I didn’t think he was selfish.
When we went to flip positions he slid back inside of me, but stopped to stare at my face. “You’re so beautiful.”
I looked away as the heat rushed to my cheeks. “Thank you.”
“I’m serious. You’re gorgeous. I knew when I saw you in class that I wanted to see you naked.” He laughed and brushed a strand of hair away from my face.
“That’s a drunk statement.”
“No,” he argued. “It’s not. I noticed you the first day of the semester. You wore this red shirt that said something across the chest. You had shorts with rips on the thighs and I couldn’t help but notice the skin it revealed. I wanted you to notice me, but you were too busy reading your syllabus to even notice me standing next to you.”
I felt flattered, and a bit saddened. Perhaps we could have been friends before having to meet officially in a strip club. “Sorry. School is important to me. I guess you could call me a nerd.”
“Na. I’ll stick with beautiful.” He leaned forward and kissed my lips slowly, seeming like he was savoring them. “Now, where were we?”
As goose bumps covered the outside of my skin, new sensations filled my insides. His strides became faster as he pumped inside of me. Seth reached between us, rubbing hard against my clit. My own body began to twitch and shake as uncontrolled bouts of pleasure overwhelmed me. I knew he was enjoying seeing me lose control, because the next thing I knew he was holding me still and clenching up his face. When he finally relaxed he rolled us over to be lying side by side. “You okay?” He asked.
I shrugged. “I’ve never had a one-night stand before. Honestly, I don’t know how I feel about it.”
Seth rolled over on his back and looked up at the ceiling fan as he spoke. “I feel so good right now.” The bed was moving a bit, and I understood it was because he was removing the condom. I grabbed a napkin off of my nightstand that I’d been using for a coaster and handed it to him. After confiscating the used rubber, he turned to face me. Even with feeling uneasy over my actions, I managed to smile.
“You know, it’s not a one-night-stand if it happens again.”
“Are you asking me to sleep with you tomorrow?” It was a simple question.
“That depends on your answer,” he teased.
“I’ll probably say yes,” I taunted back.
Shortly after that we both passed out. I didn’t know about Seth, but I for one couldn’t hold my liquor very well. After the buzz wore off I was left exhausted. Falling asleep was easy, so much so that I didn’t even care that a stranger was asleep in bed with me, locked in my room.
My parents would have been so disappointed in me, but somehow I couldn’t stop smiling. All of the years they’d spent educating me on how to be the proper kind of lady had just gone to shit. It didn’t matter to me, because this was my chance to reinvent myself, and I was damn sure going to do it.
Chapter 5
Christian
The early morning light illuminated the room even though I had the blinds closed. The reminder of what had happened last night was a muscular forearm draped over my chest. Considering that I was about to pee myself, I knew I had to free his limb without waking him.
As slow as I could move I slid off the bed, almost tumbling to the hardwood floor. I crept out of the bedroom before I noticed any movement. Once inside the confines of the bathroom, I stared in the mirror at the person I wasn’t sure I knew anymore.
It was true that I’d known exactly what I was doing with Seth. Even though I wanted it to happen, a part of me hated that I’d allowed myself to change in an effort to fit in. My red eyes were probably from the amount of alcohol I’d consumed, but I saw them as regret; a reminder of the lengths I was willing to go to seek acceptance. After brushing my teeth, and cleaning up a bit, I marched into my room prepared to face whatever came my way. I just didn’t expect it to be empty.
Seth was gone, and even though I was clothed, I felt naked.
The utter humiliation of knowing I’d slept with someone that didn’t even have the decency to say goodbye was devastating. I’d stooped to a whole new low, and been left to suffer the consequences. Just as my butt made contact with the mattress my bedroom door flew open. Becca rushed in, placing her hands on her hips even before she came to a halt in front of me. “What’s Seth Radcliff doing coming out of your room at the crack of dawn?”
I shrugged and looked over at my furrowed sheets. Dismay was written all over my face. “Do I have to spell it out?” I said in an undertone.
“Did you sleep with him?”
Was she really that naive? “What do you think?” I may have been quiet, but I wasn’t blind. He was sexy, kissed with passion, and made me weak in the knees. From the moment we first touched I knew that I secretly wanted him.
“Girl, don’t be surprised if you get a visit from Mila.”
“Who’s that?”
“His girlfriend, well, on again off again. They break up all of the time. As soon as Seth hooks up with someone new they have a huge blowout and then make up for a couple of weeks. When she finds out he slept with you she’s going to shit her drawers. There’s no way she can compete.”
It was another nice compliment she’d paid me. I appreciated how it wasn’t about me looking like someone else to fit in. She was saying I was beautiful, and it meant so much to me that I forgot about the seriousness of the conversation for a few short moments.
“I didn’t know he had a girlfriend.”
“He doesn’t, technically. It’s so complicated. I should have mentioned it last night, but you were the last person I saw hooking up with a guy you just met. Clearly I have a lot to learn about you,” she teased.
“I’m an open book, I can assure you. Last night was a mistake. I drank a lot, and so did Seth. Maybe he won’t tell anyone. I mean, he left without sayin’ goodbye, so I can only assume that I wasn’t anything to write home about.”
“Seth’s not like that. He won’t stay quiet. I don’t want to hurt your feelings, but you need to be prepared, just in case. Hopefully it will all blow over in a couple of days.”
Just as I started to reply I heard a phone ringing, and it wasn’t my normal tone. I shuffled through the sheets until I found an unfamiliar cellular device. It was obviously Seth’s.
“Oh shit. That’s Seth’s phone
isn’t it?”
I nodded. “What should I do? It says that it’s Mike.”
“Pick it up. It’s probably just Seth looking for his phone.”
I did as she suggested and lifted the receiver to my ear. “Hello?”
“Chris, it’s Seth. Can you meet me later so I can get my phone? I left it by accident.”
The elephant in the room was obvious to me, even if it wasn’t meant to be. He wasn’t bringing up where he’d left it, or the fact that he’d left without saying goodbye. “Yeah, I guess.”
The line was quiet for a second. “Do you think maybe we could study later together?”
This caught me off guard. Did the popular man I’d just spent the night with really want to get behind a book with me? “Are you jokin’?”
“No. Listen, I’m late for something, but I’ll call you later when I’m done.”
“Okay,” was all I could say to him. I was still in shock, too flabbergasted to think about my actions.
After the call ended I noticed that Becca was still standing in front of me. Her hands remained on her hips, while her brow was cocked. “I could hear what he asked you. Chris, you can’t see him again. I mean, we all like Seth, but he’s the kind of guy that’s too good to be true. I can assure you that you’re nothing but a rebound.”
I didn’t care. I hadn’t been with him because it was love at first sight. Things like that only happen in novels. He’d gotten into my pants because I’d let him for selfish reasons. Love had nothing to do with our predicament. “I’m a grown woman, Becca. I’m not afraid of the competition. As for his ex, well she shouldn’t have let her man go if he meant that much to her.” I was risking a lot by standing up for myself, but I’d been around this girl long enough to say she appreciated a woman who stood her ground. I intended to remain in control, even when I didn’t dare have a clue what I was getting myself into. “Last night Seth and I had a great time. Who knows if somethin’ will come out of it. He’s sexy and all, but I’m not about to get carried away like it’s some fairytale. We both know the probability of us becoming a real couple is slim to none. Before you get all judgmental I want to make it clear that it was the first one-night-stand I’ve ever had. As much as I enjoyed it, I don’t plan on making it a habit.”
I watched the corner of her lip curl as a half-smile formed. “We’re goin’ to be great friends, you and I. It’s funny because when you moved in here I thought you were lame. I’m sorry for judging you. It’s quite obvious you’re a woman who knows what she wants. We could all learn something from you.”
I wanted to laugh. If she only knew that I was shaking as we spoke, in fear of being called a liar, or someone who didn’t have a clue about standing up for herself. “I wouldn’t go that far. I’m just a quiet girl tryin’ to make new friends. Thanks, by the way, for taking me out last night. It was a great time.”
“Amber really likes you. It’s funny. She’s one of Seth’s go-to girls when he and his girlfriend are on the outs. I’m surprised you two hit it off so well. She’s been crazy about Seth for years.”
It was discerning hearing that Amber secretly had a thing for the guy I’d just spent the night with. She hadn’t brought it up, but neither had he. If I wanted to be accepted by all these people I couldn’t freak out, at least until Becca left the room.
Then I wondered if she was testing me. Perhaps her queries were more on an insight as to what type of friend I’d be. “I wish she would have told me that. She must be so pissed at me.”
As much as I enjoyed meeting Amber, I couldn’t let my guilt distract me. I also couldn’t let the past night’s antics set me back. “Do you think she hates me now?”
Becca shook her head. “Amber’s not like that. Honestly, she’s too smart to let a man get her down. Besides, you’ve seen how she has them lined up. Seth’s just one of many that she’s messed around with. Don’t get me wrong, she’s not a whore. She’s got this seven date rule where the only play she’ll give is a kiss or some shit. She says if they are good guys they’ll wait it out.”
“You’re making it worse. So she’s gone out with Seth more than seven times?”
“That I don’t have a clue about. He spent the night a lot, but who knows what happened between the two of them. Amber’s too proud to let someone like Seth win her over. If you learn anything from living with me it will be how to handle a man. I can’t have my friends getting involved with losers.”
I giggled, finding it impossible to contain how I felt about being schooled. On the other hand, hearing her call me a friend was invigorating. “I appreciate the support. Don’t worry about Seth. I can handle him. Last night is in the past. I’m sure it was a one-time thing for the both of us. I’ll give him his phone back and let him know that it’s never goin’ to happen again.”
She seemed content as she pranced out of my room, leaving me to stew with everything she’d shared. While intoxicated I hadn’t considered that Seth could be a man-whore. I’d also not gotten an inclination that he and Amber had hooked up more than once. They seemed like friends, but nothing more.
For someone that promised to not give a damn about Seth, I spent the next few hours going through everything in my closet in order to look my best. It occurred to me early on that I was most definitely interested in him. The problem was that I didn’t want to get involved with drama just so my peers could accept me. Because I longed for real relationships, I had to be careful.
My cell phone began to ring, sending me scavenging around to locate it. Though the caller wasn’t whom I’d anticipated, my heart skipped a different kind of beat seeing the name.
“Hi, mom.”
“Hey, honey. Dad wants to know if you’ll be home tomorrow night for Sunday dinner? Your brother and Shalan have some wedding stuff to discuss with you.”
I played with my fingernails while resting the phone against my shoulder to hold it in place. “Yeah, I’ll be there. Noah messaged me yesterday about it.”
“Okay, well you know your brother doesn’t relay that stuff to me. Also, I’d like it if you had a talk with your sister. Your dad found out she’s been seeing that guy again. We’re at our wit’s end.”
“I don’t know why you think I’ll be of any help. She and I have nothin’ in common.”
“Please, Christian. Just try.”
I rolled my eyes. It was harder said than done. “Whatever. I’ll attempt to talk some sense into her, but I’m not makin’ any promises.”
“Between the two of us, I’m worried she’s going to get herself into trouble. She’s promiscuous, and I’m terrified it could lead to her getting pregnant or even assaulted.” I heard my mother beginning to sniffle. When it came to my sister my mom had struggled. She was defiant, and the more they tried to help her, the worse she became. “I hate watching her making bad choices. I pray every night and nothing changes.”
Church had always been important to my family. The power of prayer had been proven many times through the years, but my sister’s drama was self-inflicted. She didn’t want to get better, because she liked her life. She should have been named trouble instead of Addison. It didn’t help that she was the youngest who, for better argument, had a more lenient upbringing. My father was a strict man, who’d been brought up with old-fashioned morals. My brother had the hardest time, especially since I was so quiet. Addy just couldn’t stay out of trouble. “Mom, calm down. I’ll be there tomorrow and talk to her. Don’t get yourself in a tizzy, because then daddy will freak out and make it worse.”
She sniffled a few times before answering. “You’re right. I’m sorry. I know you’re tired of hearing it. It’s probably why you moved out in the first place.”
“I moved out because it was time to act like a grown woman. I can’t keep dependin’ on you and dad to take care of me forever.”
“Just promise me that you’ll always make good choices, Christian. I can’t handle it if I fail with both of my beautiful daughters.”
It pained me to hear he
r talking like that. My mom hadn’t failed, and neither had my father for that matter. My sister needed to wake up and realize what she was doing to our family. I thought about what my mom was asking me. Last night I’d made terrible choices for a very selfish reason. I shouldn’t have done it, and now I knew I’d have to live with my decision for the rest of my life. My guilty conscience would haunt me, and I was going to have to figure out how to accept it and move on.
At the end of the day one-night-stands weren’t going to make me popular. My asinine idea was now like a punch to the gut.
How could I have been so foolish?
Once I’d hung up with my mother I stood in front of my mirror staring at my own reflection. Was I even going to like the person that I was trying so desperately to become?
As ridiculous as it was, I spent the rest of the afternoon washing my sheets, as if it somehow erased what had been done. When Seth called to meet up with me I told him I couldn’t make it. Determined to obliterate my obvious regretful idea, I pretended to be sick to prevent from hanging out with my roommates. By the time the sun set I was back to being alone, crying myself to sleep with less dignity than I had twenty-four hours before.
Chapter 6
Christian
Spending the day with my family was something that I always looked forward to. As much as I liked being away from them, nothing compared to how happy I felt when we were all together.
My family was huge, and I had a ton of cousins. I wish I could say that I was close to all of them, but it wasn’t the case. They’d always treated me like I had the plague, especially my twin cousins Jake and Jax. I knew deep down they cared about me, but they’d never admit it. Since they lived in North Carolina, and only visited Kentucky for special occasions, I found reprieve from their constant badgering.
Christian Mitchell Page 4