by Betty Neels
Annis frowned in thought. ‘I can’t quite see…’
‘Keats—there’s a bit that goes: “The voice I hear this passing night…”’
‘Oh, I know: “Thou wast not born for death, Immortal bird.’” She stroked the soft feathers of its head. ‘He’s rather a dear even though he’s troublesome.’
‘He longs to leave us.’ Jake was sitting on the side of the table, peering at the little window in his plaster. ‘Do you long to leave us, Annis?’
She had been managing very nicely during the last few difficult days; preserving a cool friendly manner, not allowing herself to cry in case he should make some remark about red eyes or lost looks, but sudden remarks like this one shook her. She didn’t answer at once, indeed, she asked him instead if his leg were bothering him.
‘No, not in the least,’ he told her patiently. ‘You haven’t answered my question.’
‘I’ve enjoyed being here,’ she said at length, ‘it’s been quite an experience.’ She stopped because she couldn’t think of anything else to say.
‘But not one you wish to repeat?’ he asked softly.
‘I really hadn’t thought about it.’ She frowned fiercely at him.
‘And of course it’s not my business, is it?’ he observed easily. ‘I shall be leaving in a couple of weeks’ time.’
Annis caught her breath and then let it out carefully. She had always thought that she would go first, that she would see the last of him, standing with his crutches beside the other men, waving goodbye from the lonely little patch of civilisation, but it seemed that she was to be the one who was left behind. She drew another careful breath. ‘You can’t fly,’ she pointed out.
‘Why ever not? I don’t need my feet, dear girl.’
‘The doctors won’t let you…’
His thick eyebrows rose. ‘I’m a doctor, Annis.’
His faintly mocking smile put an end to their conversation.
That evening, when Freddy came back to their hut, she wandered from her room in her dressing gown, her hairbrush in her hand.
‘Had a good day?’ she wanted to know.
‘Fine—always do.’ Freddy lowered himself into a chair. ‘How come you’re up so late? Is there any coffee?’
She had it ready. She fetched two mugs and sat down opposite him, and sipped in silence until he asked: ‘What’s up, Sis?’
She gave him a long look from her green eyes. ‘Up? What should be up? There’s nothing.’ She added pettishly: ‘And I do wish you wouldn’t call me Sis.’ And a moment later: ‘I was wondering when I’m going.’
Freddy gave her a quick glance. ‘Bored?’
‘Heavens, no. But I do have to make a few plans, you know. Getting back to England and finding another job…’
‘Well, why not ask Jake? He’s going back in a couple of weeks—less. Sven’s sister is almost due back, probably she’ll arrive with Jake’s replacement.’ He put down his empty mug. ‘I’m for bed, and you’d better go too or there’ll be no breakfast for anyone in the morning. Ask Jake—he knows everything.’
All the same, Annis didn’t take Freddy’s advice for several days and by then the fortnight had dwindled to almost a week, but somehow the opportunity hadn’t occurred, and now, taking the bull by the horns, he stopped her halfway. He did it very nicely with a casual: ‘Oh, plenty of time to discuss that, Annis. Have you got that list of stores? Willy thinks someone ought to fetch them while the weather’s good.’
She answered him in an even voice which betrayed nothing of her feelings. ‘Yes, of course. But won’t you have to go to the hospital before you leave?’
‘No.’ After a tiny pause he went on: ‘Will you go to the hospital and collect some more culture tubes? We’re getting low.’ He nodded cheerfully at her and stumped away.
She should have enjoyed her trip to Ny Aalesund; it was a bright, chilly day and the mountains looked magnificent, even the tiny town sparkled in the sunshine. She was given a warm welcome by the shop manager and an even warmer one by the nurses when she went up to the hospital, and the pastor and his family, when she and Freddy called there for lunch, presented her with a woollen cap and mitts and a fossil, found by the children and saved specially for her. The thought that she would probably never see them again saddened her. They were so content with their lives; they had their books and radio, their beautiful handwork and the friendship of the close-knit little community. Annis thought that if only Jake were to have his home there, she would be content to stay there too.
Back at the station there was no sign of Jake. For a few panicky moments she wondered if he had already left, and then chided herself for thinking it. He wouldn’t have gone without saying goodbye; he might not care twopence for her, but his manners were without fault, an opinion borne out within a short time by Harald who came in search of her while she was laying the table for breakfast.
‘Jake says could you spare time to go over to the surgery? Sven’s got something in his eye and he needs help.’
Annis tore off her apron and hurried across the barren ground to find Jake quietly waiting by his patient. ‘Sorry about this,’ he told her. ‘The lamp’s given out and I need a strong light—there’s the big hand lamp if you’d hold it steady. It’s a minute rock splinter—I’ve put drops in, it shouldn’t take a minute.’
It took rather less. She adjusted a pad and eyeshield, entered the details neatly in the day book and started to tidy up. After Sven had gone, she thought hopefully, perhaps Jake would tell her… Tell her what? There was no reason to tell her anything at all, and apparently he felt the same, for with brief thanks and a friendly smile, he left her to her clearing up.
Rather desperately the next day she went in search of Willy in his small office. ‘I was wondering,’ she began, ‘when is Sven’s sister coming back? I ought to make some arrangements if she’s arriving soon…’
Willy took off his spectacles the better to look at her. ‘I’m not sure when, my dear,’ he smiled vaguely. ‘I think she’ll be coming with Jake’s replacement—that’s—let me see, when is Jake going? Three days’ time, isn’t it?’ He picked up his pen. ‘I should ask Jake, he’ll know.’ He nodded happily at her, relieved not to be bothered any more, and she went away again. Everyone told her to ask Jake, but he hadn’t given her the chance, had he? Perhaps there was some conspiracy to keep her there for ever.
She came across Jake the next day, down by the jetty, perched precariously on its side while two of the men serviced his plane. They all called a greeting to her, but as she wasn’t invited to stay, she walked on towards the radio station, trying to look as though she had a purpose in going there. If no one had said anything by the evening, she decided, she would make Jake give her a definite date when she could leave as soon after the other girl got back as possible. She could go back by the Coastal Express, it would be an experience, and she could get a ship back to Newcastle or Harwich from Bergen. When she got back, Freddy lounged in as she was making coffee. She put a mug in his hands, well sugared, and asked firmly: ‘When are you leaving, Freddy? Everyone’s so vague, and that means you too.’
‘Me—didn’t I tell you? I’m going in Jake’s plane, old girl.’
‘Jake’s plane?’ she repeated stupidly. ‘But why didn’t you tell me? What about me?’
‘Sven’s sister’s flying in with the new medical man the day after tomorrow; they’ll fly you back and see you safely on your way.’ He sounded a little strange, just as he used to when he was a small boy and telling fibs. She looked at him narrowly, but he returned her gaze with an innocent eye.
‘You’re the limit,’ she told him roundly, ‘going off and leaving me…where are you going anyway?’
He got up and poured himself more coffee. ‘Tromso.’
They were a devoted brother and sister, but she had never invaded his private life so she didn’t ask the questions teetering on her lip. ‘I expect I’ll go down to Great-Aunt Mary for a few days,’ she told him. She put down her mug. ‘I
must go and see to supper.’
No one said a word about anyone leaving over the supper table. Perhaps the men were tired; they talked in their various languages to each other and in English to her and didn’t linger. She put the place to rights and then on an impulse told her two kitchen helpers that she could manage without them. There was a great pile of dishes to wash up, but in the mood she was in she really didn’t care if they took her all night. But hard work didn’t help; with only the knives and forks done she abandoned the sink and sat down at the kitchen table. Life had become absolutely beastly and she was fed up. She kicked the table viciously and hurt her foot, then burst into tears.
She sobbed and sniffed, her bright head on the table, and then let out a watery shriek when Jake’s voice said: ‘Tears? My poor little Annis!’
No one had ever called her little Annis before, the whole of her magnificent five feet ten inches was comforted by that, and he had said it with such tenderness. She mumbled something without lifting her head because her face would be blotched and puffy by now, and he asked: ‘Where are you going when you leave here, Annis?’
She gave an unhappy yelp at that, looking into a future which held no Jake; it was as black and empty as a bottomless well. She lifted her head for a moment. ‘Nowhere special,’ she mumbled again.
‘Good—I’d rather hoped for that. Annis, will you marry me?’ And when she started up, her poor woebegone face openmouthed in surprise: ‘Oh, I know you’re still unhappy about Ola and understand how miserable life is for you, but you will get over it, I can promise you that.’ He smiled down at her. ‘You’re the nicest girl I have ever met and the prettiest, I like the way you walk and talk and the way you look—I enjoy being with you, I think that we could have a happy life together. I won’t rush you into anything.’ He glanced down at his plaster. ‘I can’t anyway with this thing, can I?’
Annis pushed back her hair with a hand which shook a little. ‘You want to marry me?’
He said carefully: ‘Yes, I do, and I’m quite prepared to wait until you’ve got over Ola.’ He went on slowly: ‘Although I can’t see any reason why we can’t marry as soon as possible—you’re out of a job and now my sister’s married there’s no one to look after me.’
The happiness which had been flooding her collapsed like a soap bubble. He wanted someone to run his home for him, someone he liked and already knew, and think how useful she would be, a trained nurse… The thought hurt like a knife. On the other hand, she loved him and later she would be able to tell him that, and if she didn’t do that, she would still be able to be with him. She longed to tell him that very instant, but he hadn’t said that he loved her; perhaps later on his liking would turn to love and then she could explain that she had been unhappy because she had thought she would never see him again, not because she loved Ola.
‘You’re quite sure?’ she asked him.
‘Quite sure.’ And even though she hadn’t said more than that he pulled her gently to her feet and kissed her gently.
‘I look a fright,’ said Annis.
‘A little sodden, perhaps.’ He mopped her face with his handkerchief and went on matter-of-factly: ‘We’ll go back by ship, we’ve time enough, and you can see something of Norway.’
‘You were going to fly.’
‘Freddy’ll take the plane back for me. Do you want to go to England first?’
She hesitated. ‘Well, yes—I mean there’s Great- Aunt Mary, and my clothes are at Mere.’
‘Then we’ll fly from Bergen and when you’re ready we’ll go to Goes. You can stay with my mother until we can be married.’
It was all a little breathtaking. ‘How long will that be?’
‘A week or so. There’s not much point in hanging around.’
‘No—no, of course not. Was it because your sister got married that you came here?’
His eyes looked black, sparkling with amusement. ‘You could say that,’ he agreed comfortably, and she nodded soberly. It was a bit off-putting to be asked to marry someone just because his sister had left him to get married and he needed someone to cook and clean, although perhaps that was a bit exaggerated; if he could afford to fly his own plane he must surely have someone to clean the house… But she loved him and that surely made things right? She frowned a little and he said: ‘Well, don’t let’s worry about that now; we’d better get this washing up done.’
He washed up very well while she dried and when they were half finished he observed mildly: ‘Not a very romantic proposal, I’m afraid, Annis, but I don’t pretend to compete with Ola—I don’t intend to, either.’ He bent over the sink so that she couldn’t see his face. ‘Do you believe in romance, my dear?’
‘Not any more.’ She managed to make her voice light and when he looked at her, smiled as well. ‘I’d rather be like us—good friends.’ And because that didn’t seem quite enough: ‘And—and fond of each other.’
He didn’t answer, but presently, when he said good-night to her at her hut door, his kiss, quick and hard, made her hope, foolishly enough she had to admit, that perhaps in time he might grow more than fond.
CHAPTER FIVE
FREDDY WAS still up. He gave Annis a quick look as she went in and put his book down. ‘Been talking to Jake?’ he enquired.
She hadn’t meant to tell him—not yet, not until she had had time to think about it. She said now: ‘I’m going back with him when he goes.’
Her brother showed no surprise. ‘I thought perhaps you might; he asked me if I’d fly his plane back as he wanted to go by Coastal Express, and it crossed my mind that it might be because of you.’
‘We’re going to be married.’
Freddy got up and crossed the little room and kissed her cheek. ‘Now that’s what I call a nice piece of news! When’s it to happen?’
‘Well, I don’t know exactly. Soon, I think.’
‘Good, so it won’t be dressy—it won’t be a white satin and flowers affair.’
Annis, who had been contemplating just that, glared at him. ‘You horrid creature, why shouldn’t I wear white satin if I choose? I’m not all that old.’ She looked uneasy. Jake might want a quiet wedding; after all, he was well into his thirties and probably thought of her as a sensible young woman rather than a young girl.
‘You’re twenty-seven,’ remarked Freddy, just to clinch the matter, and then seeing his sister’s dangerously glinting green eyes: ‘Not that anyone would know—you’re quite pretty. Jake’ll make a splendid husband.’
She wanted to agree with him wholeheartedly, to tell him that Jake was the only man in the world for her, that she couldn’t wait to be married to him, but something made her hold her tongue. She said mildly: ‘Yes, I think he will. We’re going to Mere first.’
‘He’ll go down a treat with Aunt Mary. Where are you getting married?’
‘I’ve no idea.’ She didn’t want to talk any more, she wished Jake had been there too to answer Freddy’s questions. ‘I think I’ll go to bed.’ At the door she paused. ‘Would I look silly in white satin?’ she asked wistfully.
‘Lord, no, not if you’ve set your heart on it.’
With which cold comfort she had to be content.
Jake made no secret of their engagement. She was greeted by a barrage of congratulations the next morning, but if the men hoped to see Jake display anything but his usual polite friendliness towards her, they were disappointed. His ‘good morning’ was exactly the same as it had always been, and in the surgery later he was so professional that she only just stopped herself in time from addressing him as Sir. It wasn’t until she had made her preparations for the midday meal and had wandered across the bare ground with her coffee mug in her hand that he came swinging along on his crutches towards her. ‘We leave tomorrow evening,’ he told her without preamble. ‘Can you be ready by then?’
She felt shy of him, which was absurd after working with him for the last few weeks. ‘Yes, easily,’ and then: ‘How do we go? I mean, which way will the Coasta
l go?’
‘It’ll pick us up and go on to Longyearbyen and then Bear Island the next day—we can’t go ashore, there’s no harbour, but they send the supplies ashore, then two days at sea before we reach Tromso. We ought to get a chance to go ashore. We cross the Arctic Circle the following day and probably call at several of the smaller places before we reach Trondheim. We’ll go ashore there too and anywhere else where we stop long enough. The next day we get to Bergen—we’ll fly to London from there. Have you sent a message to your aunt?’
Annis looked startled. ‘No—I didn’t think about it. Could I telephone when we get to Heathrow?’
‘Better still, you can call her from Bergen.’
‘Yes—well…yes, she’ll be surprised…’
‘Naturally. We’ll have time to make our plans on our way back. I sent a radiogram to my mother, by the way. She is delighted and sends her warmest good wishes.’
‘How kind of her.’ Annis looked into her mug as though it might supply her with the information she wanted. ‘What is she like—your mother?’
He smiled a little. ‘As tall as you and what I suppose one would call a big woman, handsome rather than pretty, grey hair, dark eyes, excellent health. She likes her own way. She always thought she had it while my father was alive; he knew exactly how to treat her, now that she is alone we do our best to keep her within bounds, but it’s sometimes difficult. Perhaps you will do better.’
Annis drew a long breath. His mother sounded pretty awful, perhaps she would take a dislike to her son’s wife… If I didn’t love him so hopelessly, she thought, I’d change my mind smartly. But she did love him, enough to bear with a dozen difficult mothers. She said serenely: ‘I shall do my best, Jake.’ And on an afterthought: ‘Your practice—have you a partner? Will you want me to help in any way?’