by Sophia Gray
Lily wouldn’t understand. Compared to my life, hers had been a breeze. I didn’t care if she lived alone in one of the most dangerous cities in the country; she didn’t understand where I’d been, and the shit that I’d gone through. Thinking about what a cupcake she really was only hammered the decision home; there was no way she could ever know. I knew that hearing about Rose’s murder would give her nightmares for weeks alone.
Rose. Thinking about my sister made me realize that I needed to buckle down and work a lot harder if I wanted to catch this guy. As far as I’d come, I knew that I was a long ways off. I couldn’t shake the feeling that someone in the gang knew that I was looking for them.
It wasn’t that anything had happened; it was just a general sense of unease that lurked in my stomach whenever Iron Angels came up in a conversation. It was like a cat and mouse game, except I had no idea whether I was the cat or the mouse.
From the bedroom, there was a small cough, and I closed my eyes and thought about Lily again… her creamy pale skin… her enthusiastic mouth. It was almost enough to make me forget what I had to do.
But not quite.
Chapter Fifteen
Torque
“Man, you gotta fuckin’ come down here as soon as you can!” Peyton’s voice was raspy on the other end of the line. “I got some info that you’re gonna love, man. Just get your ass downtown!”
I shook my head. “I don’t know, man. Lily’s asleep.”
There was a silence followed by a throaty guffaw. “Lily’s asleep?” Peyton hooted. “Do you realize how much of a motherfuckin’ pussy you sound like right now?”
I clenched my jaw. “Fine,” I snapped. “I’ll be down in twenty minutes or so.”
“Be careful not to wake Princess Lily!” Peyton cackled. I rolled my eyes and hung up my cell, stuffing it in my pocket.
Taking a deep breath, I stretched and climbed off of Lily’s tiny couch. I heard her light snores coming through the open bedroom door, and I couldn’t resist walking down the hall and peeking at her as she slept. In sleep, Lily looked relaxed and happy. Her long dark hair fanned over the pillow, and I saw the hint of her curves under the blanket. My cock twitched in my pants, and I reached down to rub away the beginnings of an erection. Fuck, man, get a hold of yourself! I thought angrily. No time to fuck around with Lily, no matter how hot she looks right now.
My body didn’t cooperate with my mind’s request, and I forced myself to turn around and walk back down the hallway. Scribbling a note to Lily that told her I’d be back soon, I walked outside into the brisk winter air. With my luck, I’d get down there, and Peyton would laugh in my face. It wouldn’t be the first time that had happened. But despite everything, I did trust him. Most of the time, he seemed like a decent guy who was more than willing to put in grunt time to earn my respect.
“Torque!” I shielded my eyes from the sun and looked up to see Lily running after me. She crashed into me and wrapped her arms around me, clinging on tight.
“What?” I demanded, standing there like a tree. Lily slowly pulled away from me.
“Sorry,” she said with an adorable flush across her cheeks. “I didn’t know you were that close. Where are you going?”
I rolled my eyes. “None of your business, princess,” I told her, gently pushing her to the side and walking towards my truck.
Lily pouted. “Can I come with you? I haven’t been out of the apartment all weekend.”
I shook my head. “Too dangerous. I’ll see you tonight.”
“You just expect me to stay inside all day?” Lily’s words echoed off the frozen ground in a high shriek. “I’m not doing that!”
“You’re doing what I say you’re doing,” I said, growling at her. She shrunk back as though she’d been burned. Momentarily, I felt a pang of guilt for snapping at her.
“Sorry,” she muttered. I watched as Lily tucked a long strand of dark, shiny hair behind her ear. “It’s just frustrating. You still haven’t told me what’s going on.”
Panic rose in me. “And I’m not going to,” I said with defiance.
Lily turned on her heel and stalked away back into the building. I knew it was a sore spot, but no matter how much she thought she could wear down my resolve, I wouldn’t give in. The last thing that Lily needed to hear about was my sister, Rose, getting ripped apart by some sadistic nut. I didn’t want to frighten her; she already had enough to be scared of in this life.
The drive downtown was uneventful. My car was freezing cold the whole time, and my feet felt like blocks of ice in my heavy work boots. Peyton wasn’t at his usual bar, and I had to hunt around for a few blocks before I found him alone in a strip joint. I bellied up to the bar and sat down next to him. This cheap blonde was dancing around on stage, prancing and showing her giant tits to Peyton. He gaTorque up appreciatively but turned to me as soon as I greeted him.
“You couldn’t go someplace a little more private?” I gestured around. “These places are crawling with undercover cops.”
Peyton shook his head. “I wanted some fuckin’ pussy, man.” He scowled. “I haven’t gotten any in weeks.”
I cleared my throat. No matter how hard I tried to keep her out of my mind, there was Lily again. She pranced around topless in my head, just like the cheap dancer on stage. Unlike the dancer, Lily had a natural grace and magnetism, not to mention the hottest little body…
Peyton coughed. “You listenin’, man? I asked if you had the dough for me yet.”
I handed him a leather envelope with some cash in it. “That’s for you,” I replied darkly. “I took my cut already.”
“So listen,” Peyton began. He leaned closer to me, so he was almost whispering. Although I wasn’t thrilled about doing business in a strip joint, at least the music was so loud that no one would overhear us. “Listen, I think I found your contact.”
“Yeah?” I raised my eyebrows. “That was fast.”
Peyton grinned. “There’s been a string of similar killings,” he said, watching my face to gauge my reaction. I felt my heart seize up as the image of Rose’s lifeless and mutilated body flashed into my mind. “And they’re close, Torque. They’re all in Detroit, some of them only a few miles away.”
My head was spinning with the new information. “Do you think he knows I’m looking? Whoever it is?”
Peyton shrugged. “I guess, man,” he said in a low voice. “But ain’t you worried? Ain’t you scared he’s gonna find you and that girl you’re hiding out with?”
I shook my head. “Not before I find him. He’s got something bad coming to him; he has no idea what I’m going to do.”
Peyton gave me a serious look. “He’s tough, that’s all I’m saying, man.” A new dancer, a petite redhead, walked onto the stage and Peyton let out a wolf whistle.
“I know he’s fuckin’ tough,” I snarled out under my breath. Peyton glanced at me, looking bored. “He’s gonna pay for what he did,” I repeated.
“Whatever you say, man,” Peyton said breezily. I wanted to punch him. When he sensed my anger, he broke out into a wide grin. “Don’t be so intense, man, lighten up!”
I slid off the bar stool and slapped a twenty on the counter. Without saying anything, I stalked out of the club, pulling my jacket around my ears. I hadn’t even been gone for an hour, but I was already worried about Lily.
This shit had to stop. If I didn’t stop soon, it was going to kill me worrying about her. What was going to happen to me? Was I never going to be able to let her go? This was something completely new, and I didn’t like it. I already fucked her, so why can’t I get her out of my fuckin’ head?
The whole ride home, my head was scattered with thoughts of Lily. I couldn’t get her off my mind… her sweet little face, her gorgeous, tight body… God, the way she’d wrapped her mouth around my dick and sucked like there was no tomorrow. She killed me with a single glance, and I felt as powerless as a puppy when she was around. I knew that when I got home, she’d be steamed I’d been so col
d to her. Maybe she’d ignore me for a few hours, and I could finally have some peace.
“Lily?” I called out when I entered the apartment. There was no answer, and her bedroom door was shut. As always, the fresh, sweet smell of her wafted into my nostrils. She smelled like strawberries and vanilla, and everything in the apartment smelled like her. Even after days of sleeping on the couch, it was still all Lily.
With a sigh, I yanked open the cupboard. It slammed against the wall, and I cringed but didn’t stop what I was doing. All of the packets of gourmet coffee that Lily had bought for me were still there. One by one, I tossed them into the trash. When I was done, the only thing that was left was a package of Maxwell House plain black. I measured out a scoopful and dumped it in the new coffeemaker. I would have liked to trash that, too, but I really needed some caffeine.
The bedroom door opened and Lily’s quiet footsteps padded out into the kitchen. “Torque, what are you doing?” She looked in the trash and frowned. “Why did you throw that stuff away? I thought you liked it.”
I glared at her. “Fuck off, Lily.” She gasped, and her mouth formed a small ring of surprise. I felt a momentary twinge for hurting her—for the second time that morning—but it went away as soon as I remembered the hold she had on me. If I needed to stop thinking about her, I needed to stop engaging her, too.
“Z-Torque,” Lily sputtered, sounding confused. “Are you mad at me? Did I do something?”
“You need to keep your little nose where it fuckin’ belongs,” I said with a growl. Lily shrank back in the hallway. “Stay out of my business. I’m not ever going to tell you what it’s about.”
Lily’s eyes filled with tears and she stepped backward before turning around and running into her room. The door slammed, and I winced. I didn’t like to hurt her; I didn’t like to be nasty for no reason. But she had to learn that I was trouble, and if she kept mooning over me all the time, well, that just wasn’t going to happen.
When my coffee brewed, I took it over to the couch and sat down. It seemed pretty unbelievable that I’d only been working for a few weeks. Lily still had no idea; she didn’t know anything about me. Hell, she didn’t even know I did time for heroin. I had no idea what she actually thought, but I could guarantee it wasn’t as bad as the truth.
She was a nice girl. She deserved a nice life, just like Rose did. And if something happened to Lily the same way it happened to Rose, I’d never forgive myself. Then I would have failed two women, instead of just the one.
No way was that ever going to happen.
Chapter Sixteen
Lily
I threw myself down on the bed, muffling my sobs with the comforter. Torque was being such a fucking jerk! I couldn’t believe the way he was treating me. Sure, he’d sorta been like that when we first met. But he never went out of his way to make me feel so bad about myself. And even when he was being mean, I knew he couldn’t tear his eyes off of me. I had his attention on lockdown, so this was a new feeling entirely.
The tears kept coming, no matter how hard I tried to make them stop. Was it me? Was I not good at sex? I closed my eyes and racked my brain for an answer as to why he was suddenly freezing me out. I couldn’t believe it; it had literally been an overnight change. He’d gone from being admittedly grouchy but affectionate with me, to throwing my presents in the trash and stomping out on me. And cursing at me? That was something new, too. I felt chills run down my spine as I realiTorque I was more afraid of him than ever. This new personality, this new Torque… I didn’t like it.
I bit my lip and reached for my cell phone, then dialed my best friend, Jackie. We hadn’t talked in a few weeks, and although I’d been dying to tell her about Torque, I hadn’t had the chance. He hadn’t let me out of his sight—until today, at least.
“Hey, bitch,” she answered on the first ring. “I thought you were dead.”
I blushed. Jackie was always a little rough around the edges. We’d been friends for decades, but I’d be lying if I said that I’d gotten used to her rough demeanor. I admired her for her toughness and her strength; she said teasingly that she admired me for my purity, but I knew it was really because I was the most loyal friend she’d ever had.
“Not quite,” I said quietly. I didn’t really care if Torque knew that I was on the phone, but I didn’t want him eavesdropping if I could help it.
“What happened? You were supposed to get in touch last week. I even went to that shithole of a club, The Pink Diamond, and you weren’t there. Did you get fired?”
I sighed. “I was sick,” I lied. “I felt really bad for a few days and didn’t go out.”
“And you didn’t call me?” As usual, Jackie’s whip-smart intelligence wasn’t going to let me get away with lying. “Whenever you’ve been sick before, you’ve been blowing up my phone all day because you’re so bored.”
I didn’t say anything.
“Oh my God,” Jackie said, breathing the words out. “You met a guy! You’ve been with a guy! You’ve been fucking!”
She enunciated the last word with a lascivious twist, and I shuddered. “You got it,” I squeaked. A blush rose up my neck and covered my cheeks and face. “I met someone.”
“How?”
I thought quickly. “I, uh, met him at the club. He saw me singing and asked me out afterward.”
“You little slut!” Jackie said in an approving tone. “I knew you’d move fast when you got that gig.”
I blushed even redder. “Stop, it’s embarrassing.”
There was a rush of heavy footfall in the hallway, and I cringed, expecting Torque to tear my door down.
“Tell me about him,” Jackie said casually. “Entertain me. I have to work tonight, and I’m so bored.”
“What are you doing?”
“Stop trying to change the subject, you weasel. It’s a play party, and I’m working it with another girl. Hey, wanna come? There are some men who love virgins there!”
My blush deepened so red that my face was itchy. “Shut up,” I muttered. “He’s older. Tall, muscular, short hair, green eyes. He was in jail.”
“Lily, what the fuck happened to you? Did you turn into me? He sounds brutally hot,” Jackie gushed.
I felt a wave of anxiety flood my body when I thought about Torque and Jackie meeting. She was gorgeous, with long red hair and piercing light eyes. I was her shadow whenever we went out; it was probably one of the reasons I’d always been single.
“I don’t know,” I admitted. “But there’s a problem. He’s being weird.”
“Oh, honey,” Jackie said, sounding sympathetic. “What happened?”
I gave a deep sigh. “I don’t know… I think he’s just done with me. I probably wasn’t good enough in bed.”
Jackie laughed, a hoarse scratchy sound that I wasn’t expecting. “Sweetheart,” she said, still giggling. “No one’s good the first time, don’t you get that?”
I shrugged, even though she wasn’t there to see me. “I don’t know. I don’t know what I thought would happen. But he’s ignoring me and being a dick now, and I don’t know what to do.”
Jackie was silent for a moment. “Just get rid of him, he sounds like a piece of shit,” she advised. “Trust me, Lily, you don’t want to be with someone who treats you like that.”
I knew she was right, but it hurt my heart to acknowledge that I hadn’t just been paranoid. I had desperately wanted her to tell me that Torque’s behavior was normal, or a code for how much he really loved me, or something like that. Instead, knowing that I really was the problem made me feel like shit. I wished that I’d never met him.
“I wish I hadn’t done it,” I said flatly. “I feel like shit now.”
“Don’t. Virginity is a social construct. Don’t let men make you feel shitty about yourself. He sucks, but if he doesn’t want you anymore, that doesn’t have anything to do with you.”
I rolled my eyes. “Then why did he get so much attitude after we fucked?”
“Men are impos
sible. Don’t try to figure them out. It’s not worth it, girly girl.”
We chatted for a few more minutes and then hung up. The footsteps hadn’t moved in the hallway, and I resigned myself to Torque having heard everything. But when I opened my bedroom door, he wasn’t there. The apartment was silent. I realiTorque that I must have heard something upstairs and mistaken it for Torque’s heavy footsteps.
“Torque?” I called out; there was no answer. “Torque?” I called again, cautiously peeking into the hallway. He wasn’t there. I padded into the living room. The faint roar of a movie was playing on my laptop, and I realiTorque that he’d fallen asleep on the couch. There was a coffee mug on its side and spilled coffee had leaked onto the upholstery and onto the white carpet on the floor.