by Sophia Gray
“Fuck,” I whispered aloud, feeling my heart thud in my chest. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!”
“What is it, man?” Peyton asked. He leaned back in his chair and cocked his head at me. “What you fuckin’ thinking about over there?”
“When I was younger, in my twenties, I dealt junk for a while,” I said quietly. Peyton opened his eyes wide but didn’t say anything. “And I thought I was mostly dealing with this street kid, Marco. He got killed one day—someone fuckin’ cut his head off—and I assumed it was another dealer. I didn’t know we were involved with the Iron Angels.”
“Are you fuckin’ stupid?” Peyton glared at me. “You sold grade A junk and didn’t think you were involved in a gang? How retarded can you be?”
I looked down. “I was a fuckin’ kid, alright? And I was dope addicted myself. I didn’t fuckin’ know up from down at that point.”
Peyton gaTorque at me. “And now you’re thinkin’ that asshole is the one who offed your sister?”
I nodded. “Yeah,” I muttered. “It has to be him. It’s been him the whole time. He’s always fucked with me. First Rose, then Marco, and then someone turning me in. Now all the kills around me.” And Lily, I wanted to add.
My heart jumped into my throat when I thought about her. The involvement of the Iron Angels made everything so much worse than it had been before. They weren’t a clueless gang. They were one of the most ruthless, lawless gangs in the country. The towns they lived in, they owned. I knew they had probably paid off the local law enforcement everywhere they claimed territory. And now I knew that it was only a matter of time before they came gunning for me.
And gunning for Lily. Jesus, I’d be lucky if they came for me first. If my previous luck gave any indication of the future, I didn’t think I’d be so lucky. I could just see it now: walking into Lily’s apartment, calling her name, and finding her mutilated and battered body in the bedroom. The idea alone made me sick; I knew that if it actually happened, I wouldn’t be able to cope.
I had to tell her somehow. I had to let her know. If I didn’t, she wouldn’t believe me. I knew there was a slim chance of her believing me now, after everything that had happened. But I at least had to try.
“What are you gonna do?” Peyton looked at me expectantly. His lighthearted demeanor about the situation was very unsettling; it had always been like that, but I expected him to show a little more gravity when the situation called for it.
I frowned. “I gotta find that guy,” I hissed out. “I have to find him before he finds me first.”
“Or someone else,” Peyton said idly. I snapped my head up and looked at him.
“Who?” I demanded.
Peyton grinned. “I’m jus’ fuckin’ with you, boy,” he said, snorting. “Don’t be so fuckin’ tense about this. Everything’s gonna be fine.”
I shook my head. “No, it’s definitely not. It’s not going to be alright, not at all. I need to get out of here, I need to get working.”
“Man, relax,” Peyton said. He clapped a hand down on my shoulder, and his grip was strong. “You’ll figure it out in time.”
I shook my head. “Listen, asshole,” I said through gritted teeth. “There is no time! I have to do something right now! Or I’m gonna be dead, or back in prison, or both.”
Peyton gave me a cool look. “You take care of you,” he finally said. “Let me know when you want an assignment. And stay off the junk, Torque.”
I bristled. “I’ve been clean for over ten years. Watch your fuckin’ mouth, Peyton. One of these days, I’m gonna clock you.”
He rolled his eyes and turned back around. Bastard, I thought. Why can’t he take anything seriously?
As I walked out of the bar, I shoved my hands in my pockets. I knew I had to find Lily, and fast. Time was running out; there was no telling where this guy was lurking or what he was planning next. I knew he was toying with me; the murders kept getting closer and closer to the center of the city, where Lily lived. The police weren’t even calling it a serial killer yet; they were convinced that a group of people was behind the murders. But I knew better, I’d been there.
Think, Torque, think! I buried my head in my hands. It had only been a couple of days since I’d seen Lily, but I realiTorque I no longer had her schedule memoriTorque. I tried to picture her at different times of the day to jog my memory. Our last fight came to my mind—when she threatened to call that douche asshole parent at her daycare. Daycare! I thought. She has to be there.
Quickly, I turned the keys in the ignition, and my engine roared to life. I pressed the gas pedal all the way down to the floor and gunned in the direction of Dawning Center. Here goes nothing. Time to see if I can pull off the old Torque magic.
Chapter Nineteen
The parking lot of the daycare was suspiciously empty as I pulled up, and for a moment I was frantic with worry that I’d come too late. But the lights were still on, and I could see Lily’s mousy little coworker, Anne, bustling around. Great. That bitch hates me.
Slowly, I got out of my car and approached the building. The buzzer sounded just as I got close to the door, but instead of going in, I leaned my face against the glass and looked for Lily. Hopefully, she wasn’t talking to that douchebag of a single father.
To my relief, I spotted her in the corner. She was tidying up some plastic toys and entertaining a couple of kids who were sprawled out on the carpet. Against my will, a smile came to my lips as I watched her play. I didn’t want to deal with Anne’s bullshit, so I rapped on the glass until Lily snapped her head up and looked at me.
A frown came to her face, and she mouthed “What?” in my direction. I jerked my head outside. She shook her head at first, but when I kept glaring at her, she eventually looked around and scurried towards the door.
Lily pushed open the glass door and stuck her face through the opening. “What is it?” I noticed she was holding on tightly with both hands. Ha! As if I’d even try kidnapping her again.
“I need to talk to you,” I said urgently. “Can you come with me?”
Lily shook her head. “I’m not due to get off for another few hours,” she said quietly. “But I can take a break, and we can go somewhere.”
A gust of cold wind whipped into the daycare center and Lily shivered. I knew she didn’t want to be outside, but part of me liked seeing her squirm. I took my time answering.
“Meet me in my car. It’ll only take ten minutes.”
Lily bit her lip, and I could tell she wanted to refuse, but her curiosity was too much to deal with. She glanced back inside towards Anne and called out that she was going on break. Thankfully, Anne didn’t even look up.
Lily stepped outside, and I led her to my car. The interior was freezing so I stuck the key in the ignition and blasted the heat. After a couple of minutes, she was still shivering, but she looked overall as though she wasn’t too uncomfortable.
“What’s going on?” Lily looked at me. “Did something else happen?”
I shook my head. “No. I need to tell you about the past.”
Lily’s gray eyes opened wide. “Okay,” she said slowly. “Thank you.”
I narrowed my eyes in irritation. “Don’t thank me yet,” I said quietly. I closed my eyes and started to turn over the painful memories in my mind.
“When I was nineteen, my sister Rose was murdered. She was only seventeen, and she was the perfect teenager. She was beautiful, kind, and sweet. Our mother had loved her, and she was the only good thing in my life. I would have done anything for her; I loved her that much. She was my only weakness. Rose always had a way of making me feel like I wasn’t a bad guy. Deep down, I knew that I was; maybe that’s one of the reasons why I loved being around her so much. She didn’t think my actions were a reflection of the man that I was inside.
“Rose looked after me when our parents died, which was rich considering she was the younger sibling. I dropped out of high school to push heroin, and she looked the other way. She’d always lecture me
about getting caught and going to jail, but in the same breath, she’d tell me that she was glad I was home. She’d always make a hot meal for me; she always wanted me to be okay. I loved her more than life itself.
“When she was murdered, I went off the deep end. Not only was I selling junk, but I was also shooting it up. I was majorly addicted, and I started stealing from my dealer in order to get my fix. Another kid I was working with was beheaded—the head was mailed to me, first class. I thought I was just dealing with small-time criminals like myself, but I realiTorque later that I’d actually been involved with a gang, the Iron Angels. I dunno if you’ve heard of them, but they’re bad. They kill and steal and own whichever town they happen to cruise into at the time. Now, I know they’re after me—and you, since I’ve been protecting you.
“Lily, you’re their target now. They don’t want me, at least not yet. They want to get you first and make me suffer for fucking them years ago. In prison, I was able to avoid them, but out here I know I’m open game. I thought I was protecting you, but in reality, I was leading them directly to your front door.”
Lily’s head snapped back, a horrified expression on her face. “Torque, what the fuck is going on?”
I rolled my eyes. “I just explained what’s going on, princess, were you not listening?”
“Torque!” Lily screeched. “What the fuck!”
“I know.” I buried my head in my hands. “I know. I know I fucked up. But I’m telling you now, and you’re listening. That has to count for something.”
Lily shook her head vehemently, sending her shiny dark hair flying. “I don’t know what to do!” she whined, looking at me. “I can’t move right now, I can’t afford to. And now you’re telling me it’s just a matter of time before these guys come and kill me?”
She was trembling, and there was a look of real terror on her face. For a moment, I almost felt guilty until I realiTorque she’d come too close to this mess on her own.
“I have to go find the leader of that gang,” I said slowly. “I know his trademark style of killing, and it’s been happening more and more frequently around here. I have to go search for him on my own; he won’t come to me until it’s… too late.” Lily’s face turned white.
“You mean until I’m dead,” she said slowly. She looked up at me and squeaked before burying her face in her hands. “They won’t come for you until I’m gone first.”
I nodded. “I think that’s right.I didn’t want to scare you, but you have to understand the gravity of what’s going to happen here.”
Lily’s eyes were big and scared. “And you… y-you lied to me,” she sputtered. “You didn’t tell me any of this! You didn’t even tell me what you went to jail for!”
“I know,” I admitted. “I couldn’t tell you at the time, don’t you see that?”
Lily shook her head. “No,” she protested. “You lied to get closer to me!” She was practically whispering, and there was a flush creeping up her neck. “You lied to… to have sex with me, and then you left! Now you don’t even care if I get killed!”
“That’s not true. You’re not listening to me.”
Lily’s eyes flashed with hurt and betrayal. “You lied to me,” she repeated stiffly. I watched as her eyes made a show of looking me over from top to bottom. “You lied to me, and I can’t believe you were involved with a gang! You’re not any better than they are, Torque.”
Her words stung, but I couldn’t expect someone who wasn’t involved in the situation to understand.
“I know you have a lot to process, but we need to talk about getting you some more protection.”
Lily narrowed her eyes. Before I could stop her, she wrenched open the car door and threw herself out into the blistering cold. “I don’t need anything from you,” she said coldly. “Leave me alone.”
Chapter Twenty
Lily
Every single one of the horrible things that Torque had disclosed to me was swirling around in my brain as I stalked back inside Dawning Center. I couldn’t believe he’d lied about so much. Heroin? Gangs? Murder? It was a literal nightmare—one that I couldn’t wake up from no matter how hard I tried.
“Lily, you’re late,” Anne sniped at me. “Break is only ten minutes.”
“I know,” I said quickly. “Sorry, I got some bad news.”
Anne smirked. “What? Is your convict boyfriend going back to jail?”
I could have slapped her. “No,” I said, my voice cold. “And he’s not my boyfriend.”
“Whatever you say.” Anne giggled. She turned back around and walked towards the group of kids I’d been watching when Torque showed up. “Miss Lily is back,” I heard her say to them in a singsong voice. “She has other priorities sometimes.”
Bristling, I whirled around and stomped into the bathroom. I couldn’t believe what Torque had just told me. Some of it didn’t even make sense! I sat down on the toilet with my jeans still on and hugged my knees to my chest. I was terrified and angry, and my heart was pounding a million miles a minute. I couldn’t believe Torque had done what he’d done.
Heroin? My friends hadn’t even seen what heroin looked like, much less been addicted to it or sold it. My eyes narrowed as I thought about Torque poisoning all of those addicts. What if he’d sold it to little kids? What if he’d gotten people deliberately addicted and then kept them hanging on?
It all made me want to cry. I couldn’t focus for the rest of my shift at Dawning Center. I had a singing gig that night, but I couldn’t think about that either. Anne ignored me all day, which admittedly made things easier, but the time dragged on and on. Even though I only had three hours left of my shift when Torque had shown up, they seemed to take forever. All I could think about was Torque: his lies, his deception, his brutality…
“Ugh,” I muttered under my breath. I didn’t know what to do. Should I try to leave? I thought about it; I didn’t really have any long-distance friends. Even Jackie was bound and determined to stay in Detroit forever. And if I left, there was always the possibility that someone would follow me.
If these guys were as ruthless as Torque said, I’d be in danger no matter where I went. Chills ran down my spine, and my gut went cold at the idea. I hated admitting it, but I was afraid of dying. And I was afraid of pain. And somehow, even though I was still furious with him, I was afraid of something bad happening to Torque.
I was sweeping the floor at the end of the day when Mark walked in. He walked over to me with a friendly smile and put his hand on my shoulder. Against my will, my heart started to beat a bit faster. Suddenly, I was worried that everyone around me would be in just as much danger as I was.
“Hi, Mr. Simpson,” I said quietly.
He stared at me. “Lily, are you getting sick? You don’t look as though you’re feeling very well.”
I blushed. “I’m fine, Mr. Simpson.”
“And please, call me Mark, Lily. I don’t know how many times I need to remind you of that!” Mark’s tone was one of gentle admonishing, but I felt my blush deepen. Run, I wanted to scream at him. They might be watching you, too!
“Okay, Mark,” I said, swallowing hard. I tried to smile at him, and he gaTorque into my eyes. For not the first time, I noted the gentle wrinkles around his light eyes. He always looked so kind and sweet; I couldn’t help but wish him happiness someday.
A long time ago, when we first met, I used to have a crush on him. Meeting Torque had helped diminish that, but now I felt like I wasn’t good enough for someone like Mark. If he ever found out about my involvement with an ex-heroin dealer, he was sure to run away. And honestly, I wouldn’t blame him. If I had children, I would only want the best people around them.
“Lily, I’m really concerned about you,” Mark said quietly. He squeeTorque my shoulder with his warm fingers, and I had to blink back tears. “You’ve seemed so tense and upset lately. Is everything okay at home?”
My face burned with shame. “I’m fine,” I whispered so Anne wouldn’t hear us. “
I’m just tired, that’s all.”
“Lily, you can always talk to me,” Mark added. He smiled, and I wanted to believe him, but I knew that I shouldn’t go running to him. If the Iron Angels weren’t onto him already, they would be soon. I didn’t want to lead them straight to him. If I hadn’t already done that, I thought grimly.
“I know,” I murmured. “But it’s really okay, I promise.” I forced myself to flash a big grin at him. I must have been convincing because he finally relaxed and turned away to call his kids.
After Mark left, I finished sweeping and got ready to leave for the day. It was already dark out, and I was nervous about crossing the parking lot to my car. Putting on my jacket, I scanned the lot with my eyes as best I could. I didn’t see any unfamiliar cars, but then again, Torque had grabbed me that one time and no one had even noticed. That incident had made me cautious, but now I was practically hyperventilating with fear.