He was true to his word. He hadn’t been gone for more than an hour. Now he’s taking his sweet time in the shower, driving me even crazier with worry. I decide to go sit out on the back deck. Maybe the sound of the ocean will help me relax.
As I lean my head back against the rocking chair, I close my eyes. My thoughts become all fuzzy as I feel myself drifting off, but then I hear the squeaking of the screen door. I take a deep breath knowing it’s time for all the answers to my questions. I thought I’d be ready when the time came. I’m not.
When I open my eyes he’s leaning on the deck railing. He’s so gorgeous with the sunlight shining off his golden hair that he steals the very breath from my lungs. He shoves his hands deep inside his pockets as he turns around and catches me watching him. His eyes are hauntingly sad, making me want to take all his pain away. When I reach out to him, he shakes his head.
“You have to promise me that no matter what I tell you in the next few minutes or however long it takes, you won’t regret what we’ve had. I couldn’t live with myself if you did. ” His voice cracks.
I look directly into those blue eyes. “No matter what you tell me, I could never regret being with you, not even for a second. ”
As he looks up to the heavens, he inhales deeply. “Since the day he was born—well, almost—he had a smile on his face. He had an excitement about him that was infectious; everyone around him couldn’t help being drawn in. ” He’s smiling as he remembers. “He had such a positive outlook on everything and everyone; in his mind the glass was always half full. For example, I remember on a rare occasion when my parents were having dinner with us he asked my mother for an e-reader. He loved to bury his nose in a book. She told him he would have to do chores for a week to earn it, so he busted his butt after school to finish his chores and get his homework done. The bitch never bought it for him. You want to know what he said? “Mom’s been busy; she must have forgotten. It’s no big deal. ” I bought him his e-reader a few days later. I didn’t forget. ” He scrubs his hands over his face before crossing his arms.
“I told you we spent our summers at the cottage with our grandparents. It was his favorite time of the year; he would tell everyone it was even better than Christmas. So when I received the phone call about the accident, my whole world came crashing down. His smile suddenly became a frown. I felt helpless. ” He guzzles a bottle of water before continuing.
“So one day I suggested he and I have a bro’s night out—grab a bite to eat, then head to a movie. It was the first time I had seen him smile in days. That’s all he talked about. He wanted to go see The Sorcerer’s Apprentice. He loved anything with wizards and shit, like Harry Potter. ” Suddenly he can’t stand still; he starts pacing back and forth along the deck. “My mother didn’t allow him to eat fast food, so he insisted we go eat at McDonald’s. After leaving, we went straight to the movies so we could catch the seven o’clock show. Even after everything he had eaten he still wanted a soda and a tub of popcorn. I swear that kid had a bottomless pit. ”
Hunter hasn’t made eye contact with me once since he started talking. His constant pacing is causing butterflies in the pit of my stomach.
“All the way home he kept thanking me for such a great night, but I noticed after a few miles, he became restless. When I asked him what his problem was, he told me he needed to go to the bathroom. I purposely asked him before we left the theater if he needed to go—he told me no. At that point I got angry at him; I was supposed to meet someone as soon as we got back.” He glances up at me, his eyes are filled with agony. When I reach out to touch him, he flinches away.
“Please Riley, let me finish before I lose my nerve.” He takes a shaky breath. “I saw a small convenience store up ahead so I pulled in by the restrooms. I knew they always keep them locked, so I told him to run in and get the key while I texted someone. He jumped out of the Jeep and raced into the store and that’s when I heard a popping noise. When I looked up I saw this scrawny looking kid come flying out the door. That’s when it hit me that the sound I just heard was a gunshot. I don’t even remember getting out of the Jeep. The next thing I know I’m holding Brady in my arms—and thinking there’s so much blood—I kept telling him he’s going to be okay. I just wanted him to know I wasn’t angry at him because he kept telling me he was sorry, over and over again. That’s when he took his last breath on this earth and it was all My. Fucking. Fault!” He hits his chest to emphasize the point.
The last thing I remember is shoving my hand over my mouth to stifle the keening that’s rising in my throat, then everything goes black.
Once my eyes flutter open, I see the concern on Hunter’s face. He’s holding a cool towel against my forehead. That’s when I realize I fainted. I circle my arms around his neck as he lifts me up and sets me on his lap, cradling me in his arms. The only sound in the stillness of the room is the beating of our hearts and our accelerated breathing. For whatever reason I can’t seem to get close enough to him. It’s like I want to crawl inside of him. The impact of what he just told me is too much for me to accept. I can’t help the tears that spill down my cheeks.
“Shh; don’t cry, baby. ” He’s rubbing his hands up and down my back trying to comfort me. I should be consoling him.
Then it hits me, now I know why he hates it when I tell him I’m sorry. Those were the last words his brother spoke to him. Oh my God…. . oh my God…. .
I pull away so I can look at him; he’s not crying but his eyes tell me everything. I cup his face in my hands. “Hunter, you are not to blame for Brady’s death. ”
In a quiet voice he says. “Yes, I am. I was more concerned about my hookup for that night than I was about taking care of him…”
I don’t even give him a chance to finish. “Listen to me. The boy who pulled the trigger is the one responsible for his death, not you. ”
His eyes lock on mine. “You weren’t there when my parents came to the hospital. Instead of consoling me after what I just witnessed, my mother slapped me. They both blame me to this day for the death of their youngest son—it was my responsibility to keep him safe. ”
“Do you think if you had gone inside that store to get the key things would have happened differently? Is that why you’ve blamed yourself all these years? You wish he had killed you instead of Brady?” I see the answer in his eyes.
I don’t give him a chance to speak. “So if Brady had lived and you were the one who was killed, what kind of life do you think he would have had? His grandparents are dead, his big brother is dead, and so that leaves his parents. We all know how loving they are, right? Do you think he would have been happy, when everyone that he loved was gone?” My heart’s breaking for him right now but I need him to understand. I straddle him so I can wrap my arms around him. I can feel his tears as they trickle down my neck. Now I’m going to comfort him like I should have done from the start.
“Hunter, sometimes things happen for a reason that we can’t explain. Some would say that he was in the wrong place at the wrong time. I say sometimes bad things happen to good people. The one thing that you were responsible for was giving him the happiest ten years of his short life… he was always smiling because of you. ” He takes a shuddering breath as he looks up at me.
Hunter
I don’t know what I did to deserve this woman who’s looking at me with such love and compassion in her eyes. She has no clue that what she just told me is what I’ve been longing to hear since the day he died. It amazes me how she knows the right thing to say just at the right moment, which makes me love her even more.
What surprises me is how she gets me; it’s almost like she knows me better than I know myself. Riley can take one look at me and know what I’m feeling or what I’m thinking. It’s a bit unnerving. But it’s one of the reasons I’ve fallen crazy in love with her; we’re good together and I don’t want to be with anyone else but her, ever.
I feel horrible that she passed out. Luckily I was able to reach her in time before
she slid to the floor. I’m sure it had something to do with her not eating all day as well as the horror of what I told her. Actually I gave her a lighter version of what happened; I didn’t want to give her a play by play description of what I had to witness.
“Thank you for not giving up on me, for believing that I’m worth fighting for. ” I trace the outline of her face with my fingertips. “You’re so beautiful, inside and out. ” Lifting her chin up with my index finger I press a tender kiss to her moist lips. When I feel her body swaying against mine I pull back so I can observe her; she looks like she’s ready to pass out again.
Picking her up I lay her gently on the couch, raising up her head with a few pillows before getting her a glass of water. “Riley, you need to drink some water and have something to eat. ”
“I’m fine, I just got a little dizzy there for a minute.” She takes a few sips.
“You already fainted once today; I’m not going to let it happen again. You stay put while I warm up some food for the both of us. ” Glancing back at her I make sure she hasn’t budged before heading into the kitchen.
With a plate in each hand I walk into the living room; she’s sitting up when I get there.
I hand her a plate before asking, “How are you feeling?” I sit down next to her.
“I’m fine… stop worrying about me. ” She smiles up at me as we begin to eat our first meal of the day. I must admit I was hungrier than I thought; Riley even finished everything on her plate too.
I want to move on from all this depressing talk, but I know by the way she keeps looking at me that she still has questions. “What are you thinking, baby?” No time like the present.
She shrugs her shoulders. “I guess I want to know if they caught the boy who killed Brady?”
“The store owner who called 911 gave the dispatch a description of the kid; they found him two blocks away. ” When I grab our plates to bring them into the kitchen she stops me. Damn it.
“Hunter, is he in jail?” Her fingers dig into my arm.
“No he’s not in jail, he’s dead. Two kids died that night because of fifty-three dollars and a fucking carton of cigarettes. ” I storm out of the room because suddenly I need air…
I walk out onto the deck and sit in my grandfather’s chair. Leaning my head back against the solid wood, listening to the waves crashing against the shore. This time when I close my eyes I see Brady body boarding with a huge smile on his face. Those are the memories I want to treasure for the rest of my life.
I wake up to a gentle nudging. “Hunter, please come to bed. ”
When I open my eyes I see Riley holding out her hand to me. I didn’t realize I was so exhausted. Taking her small hand in mine I let her lead me upstairs to my bedroom.
Once we slide under the covers she snuggles up to me so I can fold her in my arms. Her back’s against my chest and I feel every curve of her body as I glide my hand gently up and down her silky skin.
Is it wrong for me to want her so badly? Is it wrong to want to replace the bad memories that are burned into my retina with new ones of Riley? To be able to look in her eyes as I make love to her, to feel her shatter beneath me? Suddenly, I can feel my heart pounding in my ears, my pulse racing. I’m consumed with a need unlike anything I’ve ever experienced before. I need Riley now.
“Hunter, what’s wrong?” She turns to face me as she places her hand over my heart.
“Baby, I don’t know if it’s right or wrong, but I need you like an addict needs a fix right now. ” I lean my head against hers. When her hand slides down my stomach into my shorts and wraps around me, I can’t breathe.
Cupping her face with my hands I crush my mouth to hers, parting her lips with my tongue. Every stroke of my tongue matches the stroke of her hand inside my boxers and it’s driving me into a frenzy. When she runs her thumb over the tip I’m ready to explode. Fuck.
I quickly pull away as she looks at me with half-hooded eyes. I straddle her as I tug on her shirt so I can lift it over her head. Her arms come up so I can slide it off; my hands immediately take the shirt’s place and I hear a moan escape her. Her nipples harden under my touch which sends a shiver through her body. Her hands glide up my arms and tangle in my hair. She pulls me down, nipping my bottom lip before sucking it into her mouth.
She whimpers, “Hunter, I need you inside me. ”
Slipping my fingers inside the waistband of her panties I slide them down her perfect legs. Pulling mine off I throw them on the floor next to hers.
Leaning my weight on my elbows I position myself between her thighs, her wet heat pressing against me. Her eyes connect with mine. “Riley, I’m going to make love to you, nice and slow. I want to watch you and feel you as you come apart beneath me. I want to remember this moment forever. ” I see a tear slip down her cheek, so I catch it with my lips, as I slide inside her.
I cup her face with my hands so I can watch her as I glide in and out of her. Her legs are wrapped around my hips, her hands gripping my arms. Her eyes are closed when I capture her mouth with mine. I part her lips with my tongue so I can explore every inch of her. She slides her hands up my arms and tangles them in my hair, tugging me down closer to her. When I hear her moan I pull out of her almost completely. Her eyes open as she stares at me.
“Tell me what you want, baby?” I ask her as my own need wants to take over.
“I want you Hunter; only you. ” She arches her hips.
“You have me, forever. ” When her eyes lock on mine, I thrust inside her.
Our bodies are slick with sweat as the desire to go slow is forgotten; now it’s hard and fast as her body rocks against mine. I can feel her start to tremble underneath me, so I lean my head against hers. With our eyes still connected, she says, “I love you so much baby; come with me. ”
As our eyes close and I crush my mouth to hers we shatter into a million pieces, both of us with each other’s names on our whispering lips.
Chapter Thirty-One
Riley
Now, after all these weeks of waiting and wondering, I finally know the truth. I thought I would feel relieved after I found out how Brady had really died, but I don’t. My heart aches for Hunter more now than ever before, because he’s the one who has to live with the memory of his brother’s death. I know he spared me all the horrific details, and for that I’m grateful. God knows I fainted at just the image my imagination had conjured up.
Now that all of our secrets are out in the open, I hope we can get on with our lives without holding anything back. I had such a hard time trusting him with all his promises when there was so much that was still unsaid, but after last night I feel my walls slowly crumbling. I know he was just trying to protect me from the hell that’s been his life, but there’s no need to shelter me any longer.
Hunter was up early this morning. Considering all the “exercise” we had last night I would have thought he would have been exhausted. He insisted on going for his run anyway. I, on the other hand, decided to sleep in—I’m tired and sore, but in a wonderful way. The only thing that will get me out of bed is coffee. Yeah I need to go make a pot before he gets back.
There’s nothing like the smell of freshly brewed coffee. I’m standing on my tiptoes so I can grab a mug from the top shelf when strong arms circle around me from behind. I can’t help the gasp that escapes me before his masculine scent assaults my senses. When my body relaxes against him he splays his fingers over my stomach, sending heat between my thighs. Is it wrong for me to want to lick his body from top to bottom, lingering somewhere in the center? Before he turns me around I can feel the flush that’s creeping into my cheeks.
“Want to take a shower with me, baby?” His tongue’s making tiny circles on my neck right now, sending chills up and down my spine.
When I feel his arousal pressed against me I grab his hand and lead him to the bathroom. Once we get inside I strip him of all his clothes, so he’s standing there in all his magnificent glory. I never get tired of looking at his
chiseled body, especially with those baby blues looking at me like he could eat me up. Walking backwards I watch him as I start the shower and adjust the temperature.
When I start to take my clothes off he lunges towards me. “Babe, it’s my turn to make you feel good. ” I lick my lips as I hear him groan.
He chuckles deep in his throat, “Baby, I’ve turned you into a little nympho, haven’t I?”
When I’m standing naked in front of him I crook my index finger, letting him know he can move forward. Opening the curtain so he can step inside, I get in behind him. As he stands under the shower I reach for the soap and begin lathering his body. I feel every taut muscle ripple underneath my hands as I wash his back, chest, arms and legs. He washes his own face and hair but when my hand reaches out to wash his erection, he grabs my wrist.
“Riley, give me the soap—I can do it myself. ” He looks embarrassed.
Shaking my head I hold the soap behind my back. “Let me finish what I started. ”
“No, you’ve made me so horny I’ll come in your hands. ” His cock jerks in anticipation.
“That’s the chance I’ll have to take,” I say with a mischievous smile. I lather the soap in my hands before reaching out to him.
When I begin washing his most intimate parts he grips my shoulders with his hands. His head tips back just like that first night in the hot tub. Holy shit! I reach around to wash his backside when his eyes open wide. He’s not trying to stop me but his body stiffens at the intrusion, his eyes connect with mine. Once I’m finished washing him I let him rinse off, but when he turns around to face me I drop to my knees, taking him in my mouth.
He sucks in a breath as his hands tangle in my hair. A moan escapes his parted lips. I glide my lips down his length, until I feel him deep inside my throat. When I slide back up I circle my tongue over the sensitive head, flicking my tongue as I suck the tip. I continue to pleasure him with my mouth and hands when I hear a low growl rip from deep inside his chest.
Because of You Page 17