by Ami Weaver
* * *
Ben shut his eyes as she stomped off. He’d achieved his goal, which had been to drive her away, but he felt no sense of victory. Only shame. She’d looked way too hot, standing there in her jeans, boots and sweatshirt, with her hair up in a ponytail. None of it was even particularly form-fitting, but it was enough. Worse, he’d wanted to touch her, to feel her hot, responsive mouth under his again. That was dangerous. Wanting was something he tried to keep a lid on, along with feeling. He saw her headlights flash across the wall as she backed out of the driveway.
Now he needed to apologize. Whatever had prompted last night’s crying jag had brought her here today, and it wasn’t right for him to make it harder for her just because he was attracted to her. Or to lose a tenant for his grandmother.
So he went into the living room and didn’t back down under the cold glare she leveled at him when she came through the door. “I’m sorry. I was out of line.”
She considered him, her blue eyes cool. Finally she nodded. “You were. But I accept your apology. Next time don’t assume you know anything about me.”
I know how you kiss, he wanted to tell her. I know how you feel in my arms, how soft your skin is under my hand. I know how your breasts feel against me.
She must have read his thoughts on his face because her gaze skittered off his and she jingled her keys in her hand. He cleared his throat, trying to bring his thoughts back around.
“Okay, then. I’m going to go. If you leave before I get back you can lock the door behind you. Also, if you’re considering renting this place, start thinking of paint colors. The sooner you can get them to me, the better. I can get started as soon as I finish a few repairs.”
She nodded. “I will. I like it. So far I think it’ll suit us just fine.”
“Let me know.” As he escaped out into the night, he wondered, Who’s us?
CHAPTER FIVE
LAINEY SHUDDERED OUT a deep breath when the door closed behind him. There had been no mistaking the look on his face when she’d said he didn’t know her. Odd that he could know her a little physically but not at all as a person.
It seemed to be a pattern. Her ex-husband had never attempted to really get to know her. He’d had his secretary take care of gifts and things. She’d allowed herself to pretend it was because he was busy, but she knew it had been because he’d never cared enough to find out.
Lesson learned.
She shoved all the thoughts away and walked down the hall to the bedrooms. Two of them, both of which were bigger than her bedroom at the apartment, plus a decent-sized bathroom. Another door led to an open and clean attic.
She went back to the kitchen, where she found a small pantry, an entryway by the back door with hooks for coats, and stairs to the basement. A quick scout revealed it to be clean and apparently dry, and she found the laundry hook-ups. At some point the space might make a good play area, if there was a way to cover the cement with carpet.
Back upstairs, she mused over paint colors as she went back to the bedrooms. She hadn’t decided yet if she wanted to know if she was having a boy or a girl. Then she frowned. Either way, probably better to go neutral. That way she could forestall any questions for longer.
With a groan, she rested her head on the doorjamb. It wouldn’t matter. Her little secret would out itself in a matter of weeks. Her pants were already feeling a little snug, and she had taken to wearing slightly baggy tops to cover up.
That wouldn’t work much longer.
Her phone rang and she fished it out of her pocket. Seeing Rose’s number, she answered.
“What do you think?” There was excitement in Rose’s voice and Lainey had to smile.
“I love it.”
“I knew it.” The smugness in her friend’s tone made Lainey laugh. “Come on back tomorrow and we’ll sign a lease.”
Lainey hesitated. “How much are you asking?” She’d told her parents she’d make rent payments anyway, and to add house rent on top of it would seriously stretch her already tight budget even more.
Rose named an amount that Lainey knew had to be way low, considering the size of the house and the location. “Rose, are you sure? That’s not much.”
“The house is paid for,” her friend said, then added impishly, “And don’t you dare argue with your elders.”
Lainey laughed and flicked the light switch off in what would be the baby’s room. “Well, when you put it like that...”
“You can help do some of the work if you want,” Rose said. “Painting and such.”
“Sure,” Lainey said. How would that work with being pregnant? She’d have to make sure it was safe before she cracked open a paint can.
They talked a few more minutes, then Lainey hung up. She locked the door behind her after one last look around. She would make a home here, for herself and her baby. But to get it she’d have to work with Ben.
Ignoring the little thrill that gave her, she started her car. She needed to remember Ben would leave. She was going to be a single mother. He was clearly struggling with some kind of issues of his own. None of that held hope for any kind of relationship.
And the very fact she’d even thought the word relationship in regard to Ben was troubling.
* * *
“So, I’ve found a place to live,” Lainey told Beth as she carefully unpacked the latest shipment of flowers the next morning.
“Really? That was fast.”
“Yep. It was perfect timing. Rose has an empty rental house.”
Beth snipped the ends off a handful of lilies before plunging them in the water bucket. “Hmm. Will this put you in contact with her very appealing grandson?”
Lainey’s face heated. Of course Beth would make that connection. “I wouldn’t call him appealing,” she hedged. Liar. “She wants me to help with the cleaning and painting and stuff. Which Ben is doing.”
Beth set her scissors down, arched her brow. “Hmm. Is there something you’re not telling me, Lainey?”
Lainey busied herself breaking down an empty box. Then she gave up. Her friend would figure it out anyway. “He kissed me.”
Beth’s mouth dropped open. “Holy cow! When? Was it amazing?”
Amazing? Lainey recalled the tender yet hot way his mouth had moved over hers and her whole body buzzed. “Um... After the thing with my parents. And, yes, I guess it was.”
“You guess?” Beth’s eyes bugged out. “He doesn’t look like the type to rate ‘I guess’ on the kissing scale.”
She had a point. “Okay, yeah, it was amazing.”
Beth grinned. “I knew it. So. Spill. What happened?”
Lainey filled her in on her visit to the park and finding Ben there. She finished with, “But it was a mistake. It won’t happen again.”
Beth shook her head. “Why not?” The front doorbell jingled and she pointed a finger at Lainey. “Don’t go anywhere. We’re not done here.” Then she hurried out front and Lainey heard her greet the customer.
Lainey’s phone buzzed in her pocket and she pulled it out. She didn’t recognize the number, but answered anyway, tucking it under her chin as she reached for the next box of flowers. “Hello?”
“Lainey?”
Her blood froze. She’d recognize that smooth voice on the other end of the line anywhere. Flowers forgotten, she gripped the phone so hard it hurt.
“Daniel.” His name fell like a razor off her tongue. “What do you want?”
He chuckled—a low sound that sent chills up her spine. How had it ever thrilled her? “Why, to talk to you, baby. It’s been a long time. Can’t I talk to my wife?”
“Ex-wife,” she corrected, because it had been hard-won and it mattered.
“Whatever,” he said, and she pictured him waving away her words with a sweep of his hand, like
so many pesky flies. “It’s just details. Can we get together soon? I’d love to see you.”
She nearly dropped the phone as rage rolled through her. “No. Way. I’ve got nothing left to say to you.” As if he’d ever listened, ever heard her.
“Laine. It’s been so long. I miss you. I made a mistake.” The seductive tone of his voice made her skin crawl and she shivered.
“Yeah, so did I,” she muttered. Her marriage had been one big fat mistake from start to finish.
“Lainey, please.” Now he sounded almost pleading.
“No.” Oh, it felt so good to tell him that. “I can’t talk right now, Daniel. I’m at work.”
He sighed. “So I’ve heard. Some little flower shop, right? It’s not going well. Your mother said you’re having some problems—”
“Having some problems?” she sputtered. His condescending tone had her teeth grinding together. This was the Daniel she knew. “It’s a new business. I’m still getting it off the ground.”
“Yes, but it’s been—what?—nine months? It was an honest try but it’s not getting better, Lainey. You need to face reality.”
Hearing him voice her own fears made her stomach churn.
His tone turned slightly wheedling. “I’d love to help. I think we could make it work this time.”
“Did she dump you?”
A beat, then, “I’m sorry? Who?”
“You don’t want me, Daniel. You never did. You want what you think I stand for. Calling me and belittling my shop and the life I’ve built without you is not going to change my mind. Nothing will,” she qualified. Fueled by her chat with Jon, she added, “You cheated. You used me. Don’t call me again.”
“Lainey, for God’s sake, just listen. You can’t do this.” His anger snapped through the connection and for a heartbeat she froze.
“I am doing it. Goodbye, Daniel.” She clicked the little phone shut as hard as she could. Oh, for the days when a phone could be slammed in a cradle.
She dropped the poor phone on the worktable and leaned forward on her palms, head down, tried to settle. He was right. It had been nine months and she was still struggling. Hearing him voice her fears, in that awful tone, had tears burning her eyes. What if the scumbag was right?
More than that, couldn’t he see if he’d really loved her he’d want her to succeed? Couldn’t he see she knew what he really was?
More than all that, though, what if he was right?
Beth came in and started toward her in alarm.
“Lainey! Are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” she said, and wished she meant it. “Daniel just called.”
Beth sucked in a breath. “What? Wow, he’s got some nerve.”
She gave a sharp laugh. “Daniel’s got nothing but nerve.”
Her feelings must have shown on her face because Beth leaned in. “Listen to me. Don’t you dare let him get to you. Look at what you’ve done here. It took a lot of guts to divorce him and buy this place. To keep your parents at arm’s length despite their meddling. It hasn’t been easy but you’re doing it. Don’t let them derail you now.”
Lainey stared at her friend. “I never—you see it that way?”
Beth leaned over and gave her a one-armed hug. “Of course. And you should, too.”
Lainey had never thought of it that way. Oh, she did what needed to be done, but usually well after it should have been done to begin with. Long after she’d been taken for a fool. It didn’t strike her as something to be proud of.
The chime of the front door saved her from answering. “I’ll get that,” she said, and slipped past Beth.
Her friend’s words were kind, but Lainey could only hope she was right. There was too much riding on her being able to make this work.
* * *
Ben wouldn’t admit it to anyone, but he’d been listening for her car.
When he saw her park at the curb he tried to squelch a completely inappropriate spurt of anticipation. He told himself he didn’t want this, didn’t want her, but every time he saw her it got a little harder to believe it. So he’d rather be anywhere than here, having her help him paint. Just having her in the same house made his skin feel too tight.
Before, he would have asked her out. Seen where it went. But that was—before.
Now he needed to keep his distance—something he wasn’t doing very well at.
He heard her come in the front door and turned his attention to finishing taping the bedroom so she could paint. Heard her quick, light steps coming down the hall. He tensed even more as she came in the room.
“Hi.” Her voice was slightly tentative, as if she expected to be shot down.
He turned and simply took in the sight of her in old jeans, an oversize sweatshirt, her hair pulled up in a ponytail. She plucked at the sweatshirt uncertainly and he realized he was just standing there, gaping at her like a fool.
He cleared his throat. “Hi. You ready?”
She moved into the room a little farther. So as not to spook her, and to give himself some space, he busied himself popping the top off the paint can.
She came to stand beside him. “I can’t wait to see this.”
She’d gone to the hardware store on her lunch hour to pick the colors. He’d gone in later to pick them up. Efficient.
She made a little humming noise in her throat. “That’s a little pinker than I thought.”
“It’ll look different once you get it on the wall. It will dry darker. They all do.” He set the can off to the side. “You know how to do this?”
He looked up in time to see her shake her head.
He stood up. “You can change a tire, but have never painted a room?”
She looked a little sheepish. “Ah. No. My skills are a bit scattered, I’m afraid.”
He didn’t want to find that sweet. Or charming. Damn it. He turned back to the paint cans and cleared his throat. “Lucky for you, it’s easier than changing a tire.”
She laughed. “I hope so.”
He stirred it and tipped the can to pour into a paint tray. He handed her a paintbrush. “This is pretty simple. You’ll do around the trim first. I taped in here already.”
He explained the method and showed her how to make small, careful strokes, taking care not to touch her. But she seemed to take equal care not to touch him. She smelled so good it was hard not to give in to temptation.
“When that’s done you can do the rest. The roller’s pretty simple. Just don’t get too much paint on it. You’ll be okay in here? I’ve got some other things to finish up.”
Translation: he needed some space. Quickly.
She gave him a small smile and moved the ladder over by the open window. “I’ll be fine. I’ll call you if I need you.”
Dismissed. He walked down the hall toward the kitchen, rubbing his hand over his face. He needed to get this house finished quickly, before the woman in the bedroom back there drove him out of his mind.
* * *
When Ben returned to check on Lainey it had only been a half-hour. He’d stayed away as long as he could, which was pitiful. He found her on the ladder by the window, carefully painting under the crown molding. He took a moment to admire the long, lean lines of her legs and the curve of her ass, which was hugged nicely by her soft jeans. Her sweatshirt lifted when she extended her arms up to paint, but not quite enough to give him more than a small but tantalizing glimpse of skin. He tried to shut the feelings down—kissing her had been a mistake because it had unleashed a whole torrent of feelings he didn’t want. Couldn’t afford. And he was now swamped with them.
This was bad.
She shifted then and he stepped fully into the room. The last thing he wanted was to get caught staring and make things even more weird. “Lainey—”
She
turned quickly on the ladder and upset it enough to lose her balance. With a little cry, she fell awkwardly on her rear on the hard floor.
He crossed the room in about two strides. “Lainey! Are you okay?”
She twisted to sit up, wincing. The floor was hard and he imagined it had been quite a landing. She grabbed her ankle with a sharp hiss.
He knelt beside her, worry clouding his vision. “Honey. Are you okay?” When she shook her head he pulled up her jeans leg to see her ankle starting to swell. “We’d better get that checked out. You might need an X-ray.”
Her gaze swung to his and he saw the horror and worry there. She shook her head. “No. No X-rays.” She gave a forced little laugh. “I’m just clumsy.”
“Your ankle—”
“No.”
He sat back. “Lainey, listen—”
“I’m pregnant,” she whispered and he drew back to stare at her.
The word rang in his head. Pregnant. And he’d been kissing her and wanting her—someone else’s woman.
She must have seen the expression change on his face because she grabbed his arm. “The father—he’s not in the picture. I’m in this alone. My balance is off. That’s why I fell. And X-rays might be bad for the baby.”
“What kind of man walks out on his responsibility?” he said, not really expecting an answer, but outraged on her behalf.
She gave a humorless little laugh. “One who misrepresented himself. I’ll be fine.” She tugged her pant leg back down. “I have to ask—no one but my friend Beth knows this yet... Please—don’t say anything to Rose. I’ll tell her, but...” She hesitated. “I didn’t mean to tell you.”
“I understand. I won’t. But the father—” For some reason he seemed to be stuck on that fact more than anything.
She cut him off with a slash of her hand. “He knows. He’s not on board, so to speak.”
A surge of anger welled in Ben. A baby should have a father. And here was a man, apparently alive and well, not willing to take on the responsibility for the little life that he’d created. A responsibility that a good man, like Jason, hadn’t been able to keep even though he’d wanted to. “His loss.”