by Ami Weaver
She clicked the phone shut in her hand. Slowly the import of the conversation began to sink in. She was well and truly a single mother now. Relief mixed with sorrow that it had gone this way. That she’d given her baby a man like Jon for a father. A man who would sign his rights away rather than tell his wife. Instead of a man like Ben.
She sighed and slipped the phone in her pocket. Ben would leave, too. He’d been clear that he was only here for a short time, and even more telling, that his attraction to her was reluctant at best. Something he couldn’t help rather than something he actually wanted.
She’d do well to keep that in mind.
* * *
“Geez, sis, what do you have in these boxes?”
Kevin’s grumbled question on Saturday morning made Lainey smile.
“Rocks—just for you,” she teased, and saw Kevin frown out the window. “What?”
“You expecting someone? Big truck. Tall guy. Wait—is that Ben Lawless?”
Lainey’s heart skipped. “Yes.” It was a good thing he could help, since Beth and her husband hadn’t been able to come after all.
“Our job just got easier. He’s got a lot of room in that truckbed. Let’s get these boxes out of the way so we can move the furniture.”
Ben came up the stairs and Lainey tried very hard not to flush or otherwise react in case her brother picked up on anything. As it was, she’d taken care to dress in clothes that hid her slightly rounded midsection, without being obvious about it. She couldn’t take the chance that Kevin’s doctor eye would spot what she wasn’t ready for him to see.
Ben’s greeting was a nod, before he turned his attention to Kevin and they launched into a moving strategy discussion. Feeling oddly left out, Lainey slipped into her bedroom, where she’d left a couple boxes of fragile items she didn’t want mixed in with the rest of her things.
It only took a few trips. It was a little depressing that her life had been reduced to a couple of car and truckloads, including the furniture. Now it was all in her new house, somewhat willy-nilly, though the guys had asked her where she wanted things. Kevin had left after the last trip, and Ben was coming back with a few miscellaneous items.
Lainey went in the kitchen. If she started in there she would be able to at least eat a bowl of cereal or soup. When the front door opened her pulse kicked up. She’d managed to keep Kevin between them. Not too hard, considering they were the ones doing the heavy lifting. But now she and Ben were alone.
She ripped open the box closest to her and found her dishes. She heard Ben’s steps in the hall and rose from the floor to greet him. He leaned on the wall and surveyed the mess.
“You’ve got your work cut out for you,” he observed, and she took the opportunity to turn and examine the chaos.
“Yep. It will take me a couple days, but I’ll get it all done.” Not sure what to do now, she hesitated, then stuck out her hand. “Thank you. I appreciate your help.”
He paused just a heartbeat before he took her hand in response. His palm, warm and rough, sent shivers up her arm. What would it feel like on her skin?
She released his hand and stepped back, willing the thoughts away. He shoved his hands in his pockets. She didn’t know how to make the awkwardness stop—wasn’t even sure it was the best thing to do.
He cleared his throat. “Grandma’s invited you to lunch at Mel’s Café. She’ll be there—” he glanced at his watch “—in about fifteen minutes.”
“Oh. That’s wonderful, but I think I need to get cracking on this.” Practically on cue, her stomach growled loudly and he arched a brow.
“What are you going to eat? One of these boxes?”
Humor glimmered in his eyes and it took her breath away because she knew how rare it was to see it.
“I—well, yeah. Maybe with peanut butter?” She grinned at him and was rewarded with a small smile. Which for him was an ear-to-ear grin.
“We can do better than that,” he said dryly. “Come on. I’ll drive you.”
Unable to think of a suitable excuse—and really she didn’t want one, she was hungry—she grabbed her purse and followed him out the door, which she locked with her new key. He opened the passenger door and she climbed in.
“How is Rose getting there?” she asked when he got in the other side.
“A friend took her to get her hair and nails done this morning. She’ll drop Grandma off.”
Lainey frowned. “How will she get home? This truck is awful high.” His expression was shuttered and she realized he’d taken it as a criticism. “I didn’t mean that as anything other than a statement of fact,” she added stiffly.
He didn’t touch her comment. “She’s got something else going on after lunch.”
“Oh.” Lainey stared out the window, mentally kicking herself for her thoughtlessness. It seemed every step they took forward was quickly followed by three back. Such an awkward dance they were doing—trying to be ultra-polite while pretending there was nothing between them.
It was exhausting.
She unbuckled when he’d parked at the café, just down from her shop and her now-former apartment. Once they entered the café she saw Rose at a table by the window. The older woman waved and Lainey waved back. She slid into the seat across from Rose and was surprised when Ben sat next to her. Until she realized Rose had taken over the second seat with her coat and purse. In spite of herself, she wondered if it had been intentional. Was Rose matchmaking? She wouldn’t put it past her friend.
“Love your hair,” Lainey said, admiring the soft curls, and Rose patted it.
“She did a good job, didn’t she? Makes me look good.”
Lainey laughed and caught Rose’s hand. “What color is this?” It was a deep pink, a perfect shade for her skin and her silver hair. It occurred to her she hadn’t had a manicure since she’d divorced Daniel. Not that it mattered, but was one more sign of how much her life had changed.
“I can’t remember exactly. It had peony in the name.”
“Did you order?” Lainey asked, and Rose shook her head.
“Not yet. But I know what I’m getting.”
The waitress came over and Rose ordered a club sandwich, Lainey a turkey sandwich, and Ben something big with roast beef.
Rose sat back. “So. Did you get it all moved?”
She glanced at Ben. “Yes. Ben and Kevin made it look easy. I guess it helped I didn’t have that much stuff.”
Ben stretched his legs out in front of him and bumped her thigh in the process. She sucked in a breath.
“Sure seemed like a lot for one woman and a cat.”
His low, teasing tone gave her goosebumps. She smacked him lightly on the arm, trying desperately not to respond to him. Rose is here. The mental reminder didn’t work.
“Not that much,” she said with a laugh, and saw Rose watching them with an expression that could only be described as thoughtful. Lainey sighed inwardly. The undercurrents between them were on full display.
So much for not feeding the matchmaking fire.
CHAPTER EIGHT
LAINEY’S WEEKEND PASSED in a flurry of unpacking. While the end result was a little sparse, she wasn’t worried. One thing she’d always loved was finding treasures at places like thrift shops and garage sales. One more thing her mother had never understood. So she’d keep an eye out for what she might need.
Well, after baby needs, of course. That was her next project. Setting up the nursery.
In fact she stood in the room in question right now. Nothing was in here yet. She’d left it empty on purpose. She needed a crib, a changing table... Maybe she could find a dresser that could do double duty. A rocker for the corner. A bookcase for toys and such. She left the room, a smile on her face, and walked back though the house. Being here felt right. Panda sat in a spot of sun
light on the kitchen floor. While the cat hadn’t been pleased about the car ride, she’d settled in once she’d found her food and water bowls, as well as her litter box. Lainey was hopeful come spring she could let the cat out into the fenced-in backyard.
She padded into her bedroom to get dressed. And frowned when her low-rise jeans didn’t snap. Yesterday they’d fit—albeit a bit snug. Today, no dice. That meant two things.
One: full-time maternity clothes.
Two: telling her family.
Lainey shut her eyes. The moment of truth was here. Her father was out of town, so she’d have to tell her mother alone. She’d do it after work, when she returned the apartment keys.
She left the house with a little fizzle of joy as she used her new key to lock it up behind her, and drove to the shop. As was her habit now, she checked the cooler temperature first thing. It was running a tick above where she wanted it, but it had been holding fairly steady.
Beth walked in a few minutes later. “Hey, Laine. How was the move?”
“Pretty smooth,” she answered.
“Was it just you and Kevin? Aw, Laine. I’m so sorry we couldn’t be there. We should have—”
“You should have gone to visit your father-in-law, just like you did. It all worked out. Ben helped, too,” Lainey said quickly. “I think Rose asked him to.”
A small smile tugged at the corners of Beth’s mouth. “Really?” she said, drawing out the word. “How was that?”
Lainey rolled her eyes and stomped over to open the cash register, pretending not to catch her friend’s meaning. “A lot of work—what else?”
Beth’s low laugh followed her across the room. “Mmm-hmm. Do you think Kevin noticed anything? Lainey, it’s pretty obvious there’s chemistry with you guys.”
Oh, she hoped not. “I don’t think so. He’s a guy, so he can be pretty oblivious. Plus, I really didn’t see Ben that much. They just loaded and unloaded. They were together more than we were.” Then she realized what she’d just admitted. “Oh—”
Beth wrapped an arm around Lainey’s shoulders and squeezed. “Now all you have to do is stop fighting it. Let yourself just give in.”
She stepped away, her point clearly made, and Lainey busied herself with the cash drawer. It wasn’t as easy as just giving in. There was too much at stake to just give in. Why couldn’t Beth see that? She wasn’t sure she could give in if she wanted to. She was aware of how quickly things could go wrong. Once you’d had your wings clipped, it made it awful hard to get off the ground.
And she was scared to try and fly again.
* * *
Lainey turned down her parents’ street and her stomach fluttered. Silly, really, since she was an adult. But those old habits of wanting to be a good daughter were hard to break. She’d decided to go in quick, say her piece, and get out. She’d send for the housekeeper if her mother passed out.
The thought made her giggle just a little hysterically. The unflappable Jacqui—completely flapped.
Her mother’s car was parked by the garage—a sure sign she’d be heading back out later. Lainey parked in the circle and took a second to brace herself. While it was time, it would be nice if she had someone to back her up, and she almost wished she’d asked Kevin to come along. He’d know how to manage their mother.
She rang the bell and waited. Jacqui answered after a minute, brow arched high. “Lainey. This is a nice surprise. What brings you here?”
She stepped aside and Lainey entered the foyer.
“I need to talk to you for a minute.” Her voice was calm, not betraying her nerves. Good.
“Of course. I’ve got a meeting in a half-hour. Will this take long?”
“I don’t think so,” Lainey said.
She followed her mother’s trim form into the living room and took a deep breath. Once again she tried to imagine a baby on the floor, or pulling itself up on the velvet-covered furniture. She couldn’t picture it. Was that because she was afraid her parents wouldn’t want her and the baby in their lives? Wasn’t that part of what had made her so reluctant to tell them?
It didn’t matter now. She took a deep breath. “I have something important to tell you.”
“I see.” Jacqui crossed to the mini-wet bar. “Well, then. Something to drink? Will you be joining me for dinner?”
Not likely. “No, Mother.”
Jacqui turned, a can of ginger ale in her hand, an expectant look on her face. “Well, then, what do you need to tell me, dear?”
There was no point in beating around the bush. “I’m pregnant.”
Jacqui gasped, and the color leached from her face as the pop can slid from her hand and landed on the carpet with a fizzy hiss. The golden liquid splashed all over her legs and feet. Frozen for a heartbeat, Lainey leapt up and grabbed a handful of paper towels from the wet bar, almost grateful for the distraction.
“Are you sure?” Jacqui’s voice was faint.
Lainey didn’t look up from blotting at the mess. She wasn’t sure she could look at her mother just yet. “Positive. I’m a little more than two months along.” Her hands shook as she dropped the first mass of sopping towels in the garbage under the bar.
Jacqui let out a long exhale. “Good God.”
That about sums it up.
“Are you getting married? Who’s the father?”
Lainey winced. “No. And the father is no one you know.” True enough. Jon wouldn’t have been on her parents’ radar.
“Ben Lawless?” Her mother nearly spat Ben’s name.
Lainey bobbled the paper towel roll. What did her mother have against Ben? “No. Of course not. He’d want to be involved in the baby’s life.” The truth of those words batted against her heart.
“And the father doesn’t?”
Lainey couldn’t speak over the wave of shame that rose in her. She pressed her lips together instead and shook her head.
Jacqui sighed and stepped out of her sticky heels. “Oh, Lainey. You need to get married, pronto. I wonder if Daniel would be willing to marry you with you carrying someone else’s baby? Lainey, damn it. I think you just ruined any chance you had with that man!”
Lainey sat back on her heels, temper snapping at her throat. “I already told you I don’t care, Mother. I’m not getting married. I will be a single parent. I don’t give a damn what Daniel thinks. I’m sure he has kids somewhere. He did enough sowing of the seed, as they say.”
Jacqui gasped. “Lainey!”
“Well, he did. If it wore heels, he chased it. He almost never slept with me, thank God—who knows what I could have come down with?—but he did with other women. At the end he was bringing them into our home, did you know that?” The humiliation burned though her all over again. “I’d be gone, or maybe not. The basement was his little playboy cave. He could have cared less about me—about our marriage. He married me for you and Dad—for your money, for where your name could take him. So when I grew a spine and divorced him it really threw him. He’s not back here for me, Mother. He wants to get back in your lives.”
Jacqui stared at her, jaw dropped. “Lainey—” she said finally, then lapsed into silence.
“But you knew, didn’t you?” Lainey said softly. “Some of it, anyway. And it was okay, because he had the right connections, the right amount of money. You were willing to look the other way, like you’ve done with Dad.” The truth arced through her, sharp and hot.
Jacqui stood very still. “Be very careful, young lady. You’re on dangerous ground now.”
Lainey couldn’t stop. It was too important. “He’s always been very discreet—unlike Daniel. I’d have thought you’d want better for me than you had. I know I do.”
The truth hurt. She loved her father, but she knew his weaknesses. Daniel was just like him, only without the intelligence or compass
ion. She also knew her father loved her mother, despite his failings. And that was between them. Not her business.
She stood up and threw away the last of the paper towels. “I’m going to go now,” she said quietly. There was nothing more to say. It wasn’t as if her mother was going to embrace her and squeal with joy at the thought of grandchildren. So the lump of disappointment in her throat was useless. She turned and walked toward the door.
“Lainey—wait.”
She paused and turned.
Jacqui asked, “Who else knows about this?”
Lainey laid her hand on her belly and saw Jacqui flinch. “Only Beth knows about your grandchild.” There wasn’t any reason to tell her Ben knew as well. It would only make things worse.
“Okay, good. We need to make this spin positive somehow. I’ll get on it and let you know the plan.” Jacqui, clearly perked by the thought of something to do, padded across the carpet on sticky feet.
“No.”
Jacqui stopped. “Excuse me?”
Lainey shook her head. “You can plan all you want, but it’s not going to make it go away. Not going to make it any more or less than it is. I’m not going to go along with any plan. My baby. My life.”
Jacqui’s mouth flattened. “Your store—”
“I know. It’s at your mercy.” Lainey grabbed her purse. “You keep telling me. Now you know why I won’t let it go under. I need to succeed so I can support myself and my child. Can I call anyone for you before I go?”
Jacqui shook her head. “No. I don’t—I need to talk to your father first. He’s going to be so disappointed,” she added, more to herself than to Lainey. “Plus it’s an election year.”
Lainey stared at her. “Mom, I’m thirty-three. Not a teenager. Not even close. So what if I have a baby on my own?” She nearly laughed. As if it was such an easy thing to do. Maybe she was crazy. “Women do it all the time.”
“But not women in your position,” Jacqui said.
She kept her voice steady with effort. “And what position would that be?”
“Women whose lives are under scrutiny,” she said, and Lainey’s jaw nearly dropped.