Spice

by Jenna Jameson

  “How did you . . . Was it your neighbor the party planner?”

  Not fair. It was bad enough she was so attracted to him, but as Prince Charming to her Cinderella? Defenseless. She circled around him, touched the gold sash. God, what a role-play night they could have had. Her fingers were aching to touch the strong line of his back where the white jacket was stretched tight.

  “Desiree’s partner, actually. I had dinner with her last night. We went over a lot of things.” Sean reached to hold her hand and bring her back to face him. She let him take both of her hands in his.

  Liz wore gloves, but his heat scorched through the satin.

  “I lied about my job and my level of education,” Sean said. “Everything else was true. I’m so very sorry I hurt you. It wasn’t my intention. Things just got out of hand and complicated. I handled everything wrong. Please forgive me.”

  “Did you really strip? You didn’t get a buddy at Club 69 to vouch for you?” She pulled her hands away, folded them across her chest.

  “For a whole week.” He left her to walk over to the refreshment table.

  She watched him, her Prince Charming. He was charming a few teachers with his sexy smile, but he didn’t stay and press his advantage. Almost immediately, he came back carrying two glasses of punch. She missed the view of his ass in those pants, but the front was pretty special, too.

  “I don’t believe you actually stripped at Club 69.” Liz took the proffered cup and they walked together toward the cafeteria.

  “I could show you.” He gave her a sexy smile.

  Yes, please. I mean. No. Go to hell. After.

  Happily ever after?

  “Argh,” she said, turning away from him and crossing her eyes. “You make me crazy. I’m pissed at you.”

  “You have every right to be. But tonight, let me be your bodyguard in case any other creepers come out of the woodwork.” He held out his elbow. “It’s the least I can do.”

  She was weak. He was Prince freaking Charming after all. And she was Cinderella.

  “Just for tonight. We’re not back together.”

  “I understand, but maybe we could still be friends.”

  Liz bit her lip. “I don’t think so. I trust my friends.”

  “How about just for tonight?”

  She took his elbow. “All right.”

  “Sean! Sean! You came!” Jonathan ran up to them.

  “You, Mister, are in big trouble,” Liz said, attempting to sound stern. “You know you’re not allowed to touch my phone.”

  “Sorry, Mom,” he said, looking anything but. “Sean, are you coming home with us?”

  “No,” Liz said. What a question. Mortification flooded her. Didn’t Jonathan realize what would happen if he came home? No, of course not. He was only nine. He probably thought they’d stay up all night and play video games. Liz wanted to play games with Sean all right, but they were more along the lines of Prince Charming ravishing Cinderella at the ball.

  “I’ll walk you home,” Sean said. “It’s a dark night out there.”

  Liz’s face flushed. What would the harm be? a sneaky voice inside her said. Her heart still hadn’t recovered from the last go-round. Not a good idea. She wouldn’t let him in. If Sean stepped foot inside her apartment dressed like that, she’d never forgive herself if she didn’t indulge in a little fantasy.

  “Cool, we can talk then.” Jonathan slipped back into the dance. They were doing the Time Warp from The Rocky Horror Picture Show.

  “I’m not dancing with you,” Liz told him. That would weaken her resolve in a heartbeat.

  “Okay.”

  He didn’t have to sound so agreeable. Liz could have used a good fight to get her mind off him ravishing her. As it was, she knew what her next fantasy was going to entail. Then out of the corner of her eye, she saw someone else she needed to get mad at.

  “Mrs. Pierce,” Liz called out to the school secretary. “Can I have a word with you?” She dragged Sean with her. It wasn’t for moral support, but she didn’t feel so alone with him next to her.

  Renee Pierce was standing with the assistant principal, who turned eight shades of red when he saw her and darted away before she got into conversation distance.

  “Another fan,” Liz muttered.

  “What is it, Ms. Carter?” she sneered the Ms.

  “Did you put one of my movies outside my door with the note that said, ‘See you soon’?”

  Liz felt Sean tense beside her.

  “Why would I do that? It was probably one of your fans.” Apparently she had a habit of sneering the last words of every sentence.

  “Except, no one knew who I was until you recognized Sarah.”

  “You mean Sugar?” Mrs. Pierce said. “My ex-husband used to watch you girls all the time. Didn’t you do a scene together?”

  “Looks like you watched, too.” Liz smiled. “It wasn’t my best work. Sarah is god-awful at girl-on-girl. It’s not my strong area either. Mine’s blow jobs. Or anal play. What do you think, dear?”

  She pierced Sean with a look.

  “I can’t pick,” he said with a shrug.

  Mrs. Pierce was not even trying to contain her disgust as she looked at them.

  “Did you send the DVD to NYU?” Liz asked. She was pretty sure, but she wanted confirmation.

  A flash of triumph flickered in the secretary’s eyes. “NYU has standards. If they found out how you spread your legs for a living, don’t blame me. They’ll give the scholarship to someone more deserving. Maybe someone who has worked years in education instead of on her back.”

  “You applied for it, too, huh? And it was more on my knees than on my back.” Liz understood now. It was never a stalker or Sean—she felt a flash of guilt that she even considered he could be so hurtful. It was someone who wanted to get a little dig in because her ex-husband liked pornography and, as a bonus, had found a way to take out the competition. If Liz had known it was going to come to this, she wouldn’t have been so chatty with the school secretary. “Did you get it? The scholarship, that is.”

  “I haven’t heard.” Mrs. Pierce sniffed and turned her back on them. “Please excuse me. I have other people to speak with.”

  “Better hope you don’t,” Liz told her.

  “Don’t you threaten me,” Mrs. Pierce said, whirling back. “Every teacher and most of the parents know about you. You’re not going to have a leg to stand on if you accuse me of anything.”

  Poor Jonathan. She hoped he’d be a little older before all this started up.

  “I wasn’t threatening.” Liz leaned in close. “It’s a damn promise. I’ve got friends with mad editing skills. You’re going to star in a DVD of your own.”

  “Anyone who knows me knows I would never do a pornographic movie.”

  “Sister,” Sean said. “You ain’t got the looks or the class for it.”

  “Whoremonger,” Mrs. Pierce spat at him.

  “Bitch,” he said back.

  “You go to hell.” She shook her finger at him. They were beginning to attract attention.

  “Sean,” Liz gently pushed him back. “Don’t engage with people like her. Renee, I’m sorry your husband would rather watch porn that be with you.”

  “Ex-husband,” she breathed between her teeth.

  “But if it wasn’t me, it would have been someone else. You violated my privacy. You made me frightened that I had a stalker and you cost me a twenty-thousand-dollar scholarship. What the hell did I ever do to you? I have a nine-year-old boy. I work my ass off doing posters for this school, gratis. And this is the thanks I get? Cold shoulders and leering looks? Fuck you. Fuck all of you.”

  Liz stalked away, her pretty blue gown swirling with her. Sean, bless him, didn’t miss a beat and kept up with her. “Let’s find Jonathan,” she said. “We’re leaving.”

  “No, we’re not.” Sean guided her toward the dance floor.

  “I want to go home.” Liz tugged on her arm. She was riled up enough to allow herself to
have angry sex with Sean.

  Or have another good cry.

  No, damn it, I am sick of crying.

  And if I get into bed with him, I might never get out.

  “I changed my mind,” Liz grabbed his arm. “Sean O’Malley, you owe me a dance.”

  It was safer that way.

  There weren’t a lot of slow Halloween songs, so Liz wasn’t tempted to cling to his broad shoulders and bury her face in his chest. But they danced to “Love Potion Number Nine” and Jonathan joined them for “Witch Doctor.” The night ended with Heart’s “Magic Man,” but Liz heard another one of their songs in her head.

  “What about Love?”

  “This wasn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be,” Liz admitted as they gathered up all their props and belongings. A few parents made it a point to thank her for the raffle tickets and the posters. Maybe they didn’t know she was the infamous Spice. Maybe they did. In the end, she was Liz Carter, mother of Jonathan Carter.

  “You showed them that they can’t hurt you,” Sean said, slipping his arm around her.

  “They can,” Liz said darkly. “But only if they go after him.”

  Jonathan was finishing up trading candy with his friends.

  “Do you think they will?” Sean’s grip tightened.

  Liz liked the solidarity in his touch. “If they do, it will probably be more on a peer-to-peer level.” She didn’t like to think that Jonathan was going to be teased and bullied because of her. She’d have to prepare him for the worst of it and hope he wouldn’t grow to hate her for her choices.

  On the walk home, Liz was grateful for the darkness. It hid her face so Jonathan couldn’t see how worried she was. “Jonathan? Did you have a good time tonight?”

  “Yeah, I think Brenna deserved the best costume prize.”

  Brenna went as a Weeping Angel from Doctor Who. It was a statue that came to life and grabbed you if you looked away or blinked. Yeah, thanks for the nightmares, Brenna.

  “And Kendell was the funniest.”

  Kendell went as a yellow minion from Despicable Me. It was his fart gun that put him over the top. Liz must have told Jonathan five times that he couldn’t have one.

  “Are you sad that you didn’t win a prize?” Sean asked.

  “No, but they didn’t have a ‘badass’ category.” Jonathan struck a martial art pose.

  “Jonathan Elliot Carter,” Liz snapped. “Language.”

  “Sorry, Mom.”

  “You know why kids have middle names, don’t you Jonathan?” Sean said, slipping his hand over Liz’s.

  She let him entwine his fingers with hers. The dark night also hid the rush of pleasure she got from his touch. Liz was going to need the reassurance in a few moments—just as soon as she got up enough courage to talk to Jonathan about her former career.

  “Elliot is my grandfather’s name,” Jonathan said.

  “It’s so that kids know when they’re really in trouble. Ba dum dum.” Sean made a drum and cymbal noise.

  Jonathan laughed his goofy laugh. “I thought you guys should have won cutest couple.”

  “Oh, I don’t know. Raggedy Ann and Andy were pretty deserving,” Liz said. They put a lot of work in their costumes, too. The red yarn hair wigs were over the top. Of course, her own beehive was ready to fall down after dancing for an hour straight. Okay, they were almost home. She wanted the dark to cover her face in case he made her cry. She squeezed Sean’s hand.

  “I wanted to let you know that some kids at school might start teasing you about Mommy,” Liz said in a rush.

  “What for?” Jonathan thought she didn’t know he was rooting around in his goodie back for candy, but Liz let it pass.

  “Before you were born, Mommy was an actress. I made movies without any clothes on.”

  “Yeah, I know.”

  “What do you mean you know?” Liz snarled.

  Sean held her arm and even Jonathan looked taken aback. If that bitch Mrs. Pierce showed her son a DVD, Liz was going to have her arrested so fast her head would spin.

  “I hear you and Sarah talking all the time.”

  Oh. It was her big mouth and his big ears.

  “Well, I want you to be prepared for it. If kids start to bully you, you need to tell me right away and I’ll take it up with the principal. Hell, I’ll go to the superintendent if that doesn’t work. Whatever you do, don’t go to Mrs. Pierce.”

  “Why?”

  “I don’t trust her.”

  “Okay,” Jonathan slipped his hand into hers. “You don’t have to worry about me, Mom.”

  For just this moment, she let herself be in the moment. Her two favorite men were holding her hands, and the tickling at the back of her throat might be happiness. When she started to dream of forever, she dropped Sean’s hand.

  They climbed the five flights of stairs up to her apartment. Liz was grateful for her sneakers. If she still had her Louboutins, her feet would be crying no más about now.

  “Go inside. Get on your pajamas. Brush your teeth. And get in bed. I’ll be right in,” Liz said.

  “Is Sean coming in?”

  “Not tonight, buddy,” he said.

  The smile faded from Jonathan’s face. “Goodnight,” he mumbled.

  Liz closed the door to give them privacy—or as much privacy as they could get in a landing.

  “I could stay, if you wanted me to,” he said.

  She shook her head. She was so damned tempted. “I don’t sleep with strangers.”

  “I deserved that,” he said. “It sounds like you found out who was harassing you. Are you going to take it up with the school board?”

  “If it continues,” Liz said. “Right now, I’ll just start a timeline and put it in writing for my own records. If Jonathan starts being targeted, I’ll at least have proof to fall back on.” She tugged on her gloves. Her hands were starting to sweat.

  “He’s a great kid.”

  Liz nodded.

  “Is there any way I can fix this? I miss you.” Sean slowly unbuttoned her gloves. He pressed a kiss on the exposed flesh each button revealed. Liz leaned back against the door and let him. When he finally tugged them off, she was ready to do the same thing with her panties. There was definitely a fantasy in here. Prince Charming debauching Cinderella at the ball. Her lips twitched. It would make a great porno. Instead of going around fitting slippers, he could go around . . . her smile faded.

  “I want to be in your life,” Sean said. “Liz, I love you.”

  She closed her eyes. “Don’t.”

  “This isn’t a lie. Not what we have between us.” He brushed a black curl that had escaped from her wig off her forehead.

  “I don’t know that, Sean. You made me doubt everything.”

  “Liz, you are the strongest woman I know. You are smart and sexy and I fucked it all up. If you give me another chance, I’ll never lie to you again.”

  “I want to believe you.” Her heart was aching with the need to just jump into his arms again. “I need some time.”

  Sean’s smile lit up his whole face. “I can do that.”

  He leaned in and it took all the willpower she possessed to turn her head so he got her cheek.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Mom, can I still take boxing lessons?” Jonathan asked the next morning at breakfast.

  Liz should have known this was coming. “I don’t think that’s such a good idea,” she said. It was too early to have this conversation. She hadn’t even had her coffee yet. She fixed it and sat down at the table with him.

  “I promise I won’t get hurt.” He poured himself a bowl of cereal and doused it with almond milk.

  It’s not you I’m worried about.

  Liz knew that if she took Jonathan to the gym every Wednesday, it would weaken her resolve to keep Sean at arm’s length. She was too busy trying to earn that four thousand dollars before January to get involved in a relationship. Maybe in a few months, when things settled down, she could try again. But for now, s
he had her imagination and her vibrator and neither of them had ever lied to her.

  “Is Sean coming over for dinner tonight?” Jonathan asked.

  “Did you text him?” she snapped.

  Her anger went right over his head. “No, but I will if you want to.”

  “If you touch my phone, you are grounded for life and I’ll put security on your iPad so you have to do book reports before you can play your games.”

  “All right. All right,” he groused.

  He chewed his cereal while Liz reveled in the peace and quiet. The sleepy fog in her head started to clear by the end of her second cup. All night, her dreams were Cinderella bondage stories with her and Sean as the lead characters. She was going to wear out the batteries on her vibrator.

  “When are we going to see Sean again?”

  Liz was a little more ready for this conversation after the caffeine hit. “Sweetheart, Sean wasn’t who he said he was. He was pretending to be something he wasn’t.”

  “You always tell me that appearances don’t count. It’s what’s inside that counts. Is Sean a bad guy?”

  Sighing, Liz set down her coffee cup. “It’s not that easy. No, he’s not a bad guy. He’s a pretty good guy.”

  “He just made a mistake, right? Aren’t you always telling me that people make mistakes all the time? It’s a part of growing up.” Jonathan put his cereal bowl in the sink and was about to chug some of the almond milk from the carton.

  At her upraised eyebrows, he explained. “I’m finishing up the last bit.”

  “Get a glass.”

  “But then we’ll have to wash the glass,” he protested.

  Liz glared him down and he poured the last of the almond milk into a glass.

  “Sean is already a grown up. He lied. He knew what he was doing wrong and he did it anyway.”

  “Did he say he was sorry?” Jonathan rinsed out the carton and folded the cardboard container so it fit into the recycle bin.

  Liz’s mouth opened. He did. He even begged for forgiveness. She nodded.

  “Did you accept his apology?” Jonathan drank the milk in one long gulp.

  She shook her head.