and you’ll kick yourself in the ass for the rest of your life. What happens next to sweet little Annie is on you.” He smirks. “Oh and let’s not forget that sweet sister of yours, but you’re lucky, she’s useless to us at the moment.” He shrugs and walks over to Annie who’s flanked by two other guys. They hold her in place, she’s struggling and screaming. I look away and the same look of distress, fear and disgust is mirrored in Viv’s eyes.
I can’t breathe, I feel faint, I know what they are going to do to her. He cuts off her shir-
I scream, waking up with a start. Fucking nightmares!
I’m sick and tired of them. I’m covered in sweat, I’m finding it hard to breathe and my heart is pounding.
I need to see her.
I need to make sure she’s okay.
That’s a lie. I need to see her so I can feel alive again…
CHAPTER 9
Viv
I wake up to something shaking me, waking me from one of the nicest Gabe dreams I’ve ever had. I groan and freeze, I live alone, so who the fuck is shaking me? I sit up and my head hits something hard. My attacker groans as I scream and fall off the bed.
“For fuck’s sake, Viv, it’s me!” Gabe groans and a giggle escapes me. “Not funny! You just busted my lip.”
“Awww, poor baby.” I snort and stand up, crawling back under the covers. “What are you doing here anyway and how did you get in?”
“Your lock is way too easy to pick. I’ll change it this week,” he says sitting down next to me and wrapping his tattooed arms around me.
“Why in the hell did you break into my place?” I glare at him but get comfortable in his arms.
“I wanted to see you,” he whispers kissing my head.
I sigh softly. “Let me guess. Nightmare?”
“Just like every single night for the past twelve years,” he sighs.
“I’m sorry Gabe. Do you want to talk about it?” I kiss his chin and close my eyes.
“Don’t be. No, I don’t. I probably should but I just can’t bring myself to talk about what happened to anyone else,” he says truthfully.
“I’m always here if you need to talk.”
“Thank you, Doll.” He kisses me softly.
“No need to thank me.” I smile softly.
“Too late.” He chuckles and takes in a shuddering breath. “This one was about her dying. It was so fucking vivid. You were there, Trent and Blades were holding you in the corner whilst Annie was tied to one of the bars hanging from the ceiling. I was tied up too, I couldn’t save her, it broke my heart. I wanted to save you both but I couldn’t, I let them take her from us. I let them abuse, torture and kill her before our eyes. I should have stayed away. I was fucking selfish and look where it got us. I lost my first and only girlfriend, and you your twin,” he says, frustrated with himself and hurt. He’s been suffering silently all this time and so have I, except I’m not carrying the guilt. I can’t even begin to imagine how he must feel about that night.
“You’re not the only one at fault for not being able to stay away. She was as much to blame as you. She wanted to be with you, you didn’t force her.” I realise now that he’s here because he wants to feel close to her, I can feel my heart breaking. I wish he would just tell me that that’s why he’s come over in the middle of the night.
“I guess you’re right, but it doesn’t make it better. Don’t even go there, I can see the cogs turning in that pretty head of yours. I know what you’re thinking and it’s not true, you know it.” He scowls at me.
“Admit it, it’s confusing and disturbing. You’re coming to me after having a nightmare about my twin sister.”
“I need you, Viv. You have no idea how much,” he whispers.
“I’m sure any of your other lady friends wouldn’t mind giving you a hand or a hole when you need it.” I frown in disgust.
“I don’t give a fuck about them!” he says loudly and lies on top of me, pining me to the bed, grinding his hips over my sensitive and exposed flesh.
“Well, you did before I came back.” I shrug and look at him.
“Yeah, I used to but ever since you came back, you’re the only thing on my mind and it’s driving me fucking crazy. So here I am, waiting like a fucking fool for you to give me some attention and affection because I fucking need it, I fucking need you, not your sister. I need to feel alive again and being with you is the only way I can.” He groans before capturing my lips in a scorching hot kiss that leaves me breathless. “So, are you going to give in to me? Or do I have to beg you?” I’m fucked! How am I supposed to say no to him? I have no fucking willpower when it comes to Gabe.
I sigh and nod. “Fine.” I glare at him, not happy with his way of getting what he wants out of me, without caring for my feelings. I’m pissed at myself for letting him walk all over me when I should say no and send him on his way.
“Good.” He makes quick work of stripping the both of us. “So beautiful,” he whispers and captures my left nipple in his mouth, alternating between sucking, nibbling and flicking his tongue over the taunt pierced skin. He plays with the little hoop with his tongue and pulls on it gently with his teeth before repeating the process with my right nipple, leaving me a quivering mess.
“Stop teasing!” I moan bucking my hips.
“Never.” He chuckles and slides his hands down my sides, kissing down my stomach, making eye contact after every kiss.
“You’re pure evil.” I glare at him and throw my head back when he closes his lips over my clit, sucking on it. “Fuck!”
“We’ll get to that in a minute,” he says before resuming his sweet torture. He flicks the tip of his tongue over my pierced clit, alternating the speed, bringing me close to the edge before pulling me back. I can’t stand it anymore and grab the back of his head, holding him in place so he can’t back away from me anymore. He smirks against my spread pussy and slides two fingers in, finger fucking me at a devilishly pleasurable pace, finally allowing me to orgasm. I come hard, moaning his name and bucking my hips from the bed, or rather trying as he pushes his body into mine. “Was it worth the teasing?” He smirks and kisses me deeply, letting me taste myself on his tongue.
“I guess that was alright.” I shrug totally lying, it was fucking amazing.
“You’re so full of shit.” He grins and gets a condom from the bedside table. He sits on his heels and rolls the condom down his impressive length.
“Yes, it was worth it.” I smirk, my eyes travelling down his impressive body. I take in his muscles, his tattoos, the scars that litter his body; I want to run my tongue over all of them. I want to ask how he got them but I don’t want to ruin the moment.
“I’m taking charge this time.” He smirks and teases my clit with the tip of his cock.
“Less teasing, more fucking!” I wiggle down, trying to get him inside me.
“Horny?” He chuckles as I nod. He thrusts into me taking his time, giving me inch by painfully slow inch until he’s fully inside me. I revel in the feeling of having his thick hard cock fill me up.
“So. Fucking. Good.” I moan and squeeze my pussy around him.
“You feel so fucking good, so tight.” He slowly withdraws before thrusting back in hard but still so slowly. Each thrust is driving me crazy I wrap my legs around his waist, tilting my hips up, giving him better access and a much better angle for me. He rests on his forearms, leaning over me. I can’t help but brush my thumb over the scar on his cheek, he leans into my touch and kisses my palm. I’m falling more and more in love with this man every day and he has no idea.
I bring his face down towards mine and kiss him with so much passion I feel like I’m going to explode. I drag my nails down his back, to his muscled ass, digging in. He groans with pleasure and picks up the pace. The only sounds in the room are our ragged breaths and the sounds of flesh slapping against each other.
We’re both so close to our release, covered in sweat, emotionally exhausted yet feeling more alive than ever. H
e’s pounding into me, hard and fast. I enjoy every single second of this. I moan longingly as I feel myself get closer and closer to the edge.
“Don’t hold back, Viv.” He groans, his voice strained. It doesn’t take me long to moan his name as I come again and I feel the walls I had built around my heart shatter into a million of pieces. I’m in deep over my head. A few seconds later he finds his own release, moaning my name over and over, nuzzling his face into the crook of my neck, emptying himself in the condom. I wrap my arms around him, stroking his hair. I don’t what’s going on between us but I have a feeling that the wall I had built is not the only thing that will shatter.
“Feeling better?” I whisper, kissing his cheek.
“Yes. You?” he says out of breath.
“Yes, I’m good.” I caress his back, frowning when I feel something wet run down his back. I freeze when I see my bloody nails.
“Why did you stop? It felt good,” he actually whines and a giggle escapes my lips.
“Well, uh…looks like I was a bit rougher that I thought.” I bite my lip and hold my hand up for him to see my nails.
He chuckles and sits up, pulling out of me in the process. We both frown at the loss. “I don’t mind a bit of blood, Doll. I’ll be right back.” He pecks my lips, takes off the condom and walks to the bathroom.
I clean my hands with baby wipes and freshen up before settling back into bed. I was already confused with us having sex on Valentine’s Day but this? This has completely thrown me. What's he expecting from me? What does he want out of this, out of us? Is there even an us? Are we just fuck buddies? I have so many unanswered questions but I don’t see myself bringing this up right now.
Even though I feel like shit afterwards, I can’t stop, this is my only chance to feel happy and alive. For so long I’ve lived in the shadows, not living, just surviving but now I’m feeling again, but it’s with someone I should have forgotten about long ago
“What are you thinking about?” he asks, startling me.
“How is your back?” I look up at him, trying to change the conversation.
“My back is fine, I’ve had worse done to me, trust me.” He settles into bed with me and wraps me in his arms. “So? I could see the wheels in your head turning. What’s up?”
“Just thinking.” I sigh and shrug.
“You mean over thinking?”
“You could say that.” I kiss his chest.
“Stop analysing everything, Viv. We don’t know what tomorrow will bring, so let’s enjoy the time we do have. We both come alive when we are together, let’s not get ahead of ourselves. I’m here because I want you for you, otherwise I wouldn’t be here. Now let’s get some sleep. I have to be up early in the morning.” He kisses my head. I should answer him, but I’m afraid of what I might say. I don’t want to piss him off because of my feelings for him, I wish things were easier.
It doesn’t take him long to fall asleep, leaving me to my thoughts.
How does he expect me not to freak out when he’s with me so he can relive what he had with Annie. Anyone would feel this way. I know he won’t understand my point of view. I love my sister but she’s always had what I wanted. She was the perfect daughter, I was the wild one, so everybody gravitated towards her unlike me, I was the darker, edgier twin. Sure, I was a bit wild, definitely wilder than Annie but I never did anything bad. Guys were always more interested in Annie because she was the sweet and quiet one while I was more brash and loud. I had no problem saying what I thought, I didn’t care if I offended.
That was then, now I’m more like Annie. I’m a lot quieter while still giving shit if needed, maybe that’s why Gabe is interested in me all of a sudden, not only do I look like Annie but now I act more like her. From the moment I met Gabe, I felt something for him. It was weird and took me by surprise. I had never felt that way about anyone and it just had to be the one guy I couldn’t have. Annie thought he was hot but that was all there was to it for her, she wasn’t interested in him like I was, but then the more attention he gave her, the more into him she became. I used to ask her questions about him all the time, living vicariously through her and I used to think it was the closest I’d ever be to him.
Sometimes I wonder if she started dating him because she did really like him or because she knew I did and wanted to bug me. She knew what she was getting herself into when she started going out with him, she knew that the consequences would be brutal, that people would get hurt and a war would start, but she couldn’t predict being abused and murdered. She lost her life because she couldn’t stay away from him. Shit! I’m doing the same thing, I groan, frustrated with myself.
Gabe stirs next to me and rolls us over. I rest my head on his chest, hoping sleep will claim me soon. I need to stop over thinking this.
I feel like history is repeating itself. Annie and Gabe should never have been together but they couldn’t stay away and she paid the price. Gabe and I can’t seem to stay away from each other either, if the Kings find out will we have the same problems, will there be a war between the clubs? Are we signing our own death warrants?
CHAPTER 10
Gabe
I wake up with a smile on my face, it’s an odd feeling, I haven’t woken up smiling in such a long fucking time.
I kiss the top of Viv’s head who’s still fast asleep on top of me, her head resting on my chest, her right hand lying over my heart. It feels so fucking good to have her in my arms, finally.
We’ve both come a long way.
We should have been damaged beyond repair after that night, but we’ve made it, surely it can only get better from now on? I know I’ll have to constantly reassure her that it’s her that I want to be with, not an Annie replica.
Annie…
I still can’t believe that we slept together, I never intended for it to happen that night, but the more time I spent with her, the more I wanted her.
I know it’s sick, I loved her sister and now I’m fucking her. I feel like a new man when I’m around Viv. She’s the light to my darkness. No matter how shitty my day has been, she always brings a smile to my face. She was the missing piece to my happiness and I finally have her with me. She doesn’t give a damn that I’m a biker, which is a huge change for me, when you’re biker women throw themselves at your feet wanting the danger and adrenalin. I never minded, hell I was pretty fucking happy about it, easy fucks on tap, what kind of men would turn that down?
The most fucked up thing is that I knew Viv had feelings for me back then and if I’m being completely honest, it’s Viv that I’ve always wanted. Those eyes, those lips, those curves…
I’m aware that makes me a total dick, initially I dated Annie because I thought Viv didn’t feel anything for me and blamed me for Jared’s treatment of her, which only got more brutal and cruel after that night. It wasn’t long after I started seeing Annie that I found out Viv reciprocated my feelings but I was stuck. I couldn’t just end things with Annie and go to Viv telling her that it was her that I had loved all along. Annie had quickly fallen in love with me and I couldn’t stomach the thought of breaking her heart, Viv never would have wanted me after I broke her sister’s heart.
Selfishly I stayed with Annie. If I couldn’t have Viv, then I’d have Annie, she was the closest I could get to Viv. Maybe if I’d had the balls to end things with Annie and forgot about those two amazing women, Annie would still be alive. I never should have pursued Annie, it was a big fucking mistake that I’m still paying for. But at the same time, I don’t regret any of it because I was still kinda with Viv.
I disgust myself, but I don’t plan on stopping whatever it is that Viv and I have. Call me a fucking asshole, I don’t care, I have loved that woman for the past twelve years and I am not punishing myself any longer. I might not be showing it the right way at the moment but I don’t know how to be in a relationship. I need to explain everything to her, she won’t believe me though, even when I tell her that I want her not her sister, she doesn’t believe me.
She’s my Viv, she’s always been mine. Even if I was with Annie, I’d always look out for her. I sigh to myself, all my happy thoughts leaving my mind, I guess this is what she’s doing to herself every time she overthinks things.
I wish I was better at expressing my feelings. My greatest wish is to have what my parents had, what Cabe and Josie, Ayd and Ant have. Hell even Aleck, the one man who swore off love, found his one and only.
I found mine years ago but stupidly went out with her sister instead of owning up to how I felt and confronting the right one. Viv had my heart the moment I punched Jared, without a word she managed to steal it and she’s never given it back. Hell she doesn’t even know she has it. I need to explain everything, to pour my heart out to her before her head overrules her heart. She already doubts me, I constantly catch her lost in her thoughts and I know it’s always about me and Annie. I need to do this soon before I fuck things up, it’s bound to happen, I know what I’m like.
“Now look who’s over thinking things.” I jump as Viv’s sleepy voice brings me back to reality.
“Fuck! How long have you been awake?” She chuckles and stretches her small frame next to me, pressing herself closer to me in the process.
“Long enough to know that you’re the one over thinking things right now.” She smiles softly looking up at me.
“No, I’m not. Good morning, Doll.” I gently brush my lips over hers and squeeze her ass.
“Good morning and yes, you are.” She kisses me back softly before getting up and disappearing in the bathroom, fully naked. I have the amazing view of her ass and her tattoo. A fallen angel with burned wings. Beautiful.
A few minutes later she emerges from the bathroom, wrapped in a robe. I can’t stop the frown that appears on my face. “What? It’s chilly, I’m not going to walk around naked for your pleasure.”
Healing Gabe (Last Hangman MC Book 3) Page 8